The Pretty Committee Strikes Back

by Lisi Harrison

  Massie wanted to comfort her but didn't want Derrington to think she was ignoring him.

  Merri-Lee raced through the door dressed in head-to-toe fatigues that had DIOR written across the legs in what was supposed to look like yellow spray paint. “Get the boys fighting and then pan over to the girls' reactions,” she demanded.

  Her camera crew did exactly as they were told.

  Mr. Myner politely pulled Merri-Lee aside, and after a very close conversation she smiled at him and told her crew to cut.

  “Boys, get back to your cabin!” Mr. Myner shouted.

  “There you are.” Mr. Dingle pushed his big square bifocals up on his greasy button nose. “I gave you boys permission to take a quick trip to the bathroom, not to visit the girls.”

  “The next time you are caught in here you, will be sent home, with a suspension,” Mr. Myner said. “You are not to enter the girls' bunk, under any circumstances. And if any of you decide to take off into the woods again without supervision, you will face expulsion.”

  “Whoa, dude, no need to use the E word.” Derrington lifted his mask, which made his dirty blond hair poke straight up in the air. “We were just exploring the grounds. You know, taking an interest in the topography.”

  He made air quotes when he said topography, which made Massie smile with pride. They were perfect for each other.

  “I appreciate your integrity, Derrick, but there are bears back there, not to mention hundreds of miles of dense forest, and it would be very easy for you to get lost or killed or worse. And as long as I am responsible for your lives, I am forbidding you to go back there without Mr. Dingle or me.

  So consider this a warning. You get no more chances. And that goes for you girls too.”

  “Puh-lease, like we would even want to look at the trails.” Massie rolled her eyes.

  Mr. Myner opened his mouth, then quickly closed it and shook his head, obviously not knowing how to respond.

  “Let's go.” Mr. Dingle herded the boys toward the door. Merri-Lee and her crew followed.

  “See ya, Block!” Derrington shouted.

  “’Bye.” Massie giggled. All of the girls turned and gazed at her with the twinkle of envy in their eyes. She casually threw open the top of her suitcase, like his visit was no big deal. If only they could hear how hard her heart was pounding.

  “Who do you think Josh was here to visit?” Alicia asked anyone who would answer.

  Claire stuffed her face as far into her closet as it would possibly go.

  “You,” they all knew to say.

  Alicia still seemed unsure. “You think?”

  Massie spread her arms as wide as possible and hugged a pile of ultra-soft cashmere sweaters. At first touch they felt odd and slightly gooey. Like someone had sneezed on them. She lifted them up with care and caution, not quite sure what to expect.

  “Ehmagawd!” she squealed. Her favorite Tocca dark green double-V-neck sweater looked like a wet poodle.

  “What is it?” Mr. Myner raced over to her side.

  “My Bumble and Bumble leave-in conditioner leaked all over my clothes.” Massie lifted her slick hands in the air as if they were covered in blood. “Call 911. I need a dry cleaner ASAP.”

  Dylan and Alicia rushed to her side and started rubbing her back.

  “Preferably someone who specializes in cashmere and delicates,” Alicia barked at Mr. Myner.

  Massie heard Layne giggle and shot her a You're-so-dead look. Layne popped open a GoGurt and took a hearty sip. Claire backed away.

  Mr. Myner took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. “I'd like everyone to gather around the fireplace for a quick meeting.”

  “This can't wait.” Massie could hear the panic rising in her voice. “We need to send for help immediately.”

  “You will need more than help if you don't do what you're told.” Mr. Myner no longer sounded like “cool teacher.” He had switched into “strict parent” mode right before her eyes.

  Massie stood. She would have put up a bigger fight if her geography grade didn't already suck so badly, but it did and she needed Mr. Myner on her side. While he led the way to the fireplace, Massie quickly zipped up her Tumi and wheeled it with her. She refused to leave her disabled wardrobe in the back of the cabin to die alone.

  “Don't worry, you can borrow anything of mine,” Claire said to Massie when she sat down on a pile of colorful pillows.

  Massie chuckled, like Claire had actually said something funny.

  While Mr. Myner started the fire, everyone offered to share clothes with Massie, like she had recently become homeless.

  She accepted their charity with grace, but deep down inside, she was still in mourning. Derrington would never get to see the ah-dorable rustic combinations she had dreamt up. Instead he would see Alicia's Sevens or Claire's turtlenecks. Unless … Kristen would be willing to do a quick shop-and-FedEx run for her. As soon as Myner left she would make the call and place her order.

  Mr. Myner lit a match and tossed it on the tower of newspaper and logs he'd built in the middle of the pit. The tiny flame quickly became a crackling fire that shot flecks of orange embers into the air. The girls shuffled across the pillows on their butts until they were close enough to feel the heat on their outstretched hands and feet.

  Mr. Myner lifted his leg onto the marble ledge of the fireplace and rested his arm on his bent knee. He looked like he was posing for the cover of Outdoor Life magazine.

  “I have an exciting few days planned for you girls,” he said. “By Wednesday you will know how to read maps, navigate using a compass, build igloos, and survive on little more than your wits and ripe berries.”

  Massie raised her hand.

  “Yes, Massie,” he said with enthusiasm. Mr. Myner loved it when his students participated and asked meaningful questions.

  “Does FedEx service this area?”

  “I believe so,” he said, his smile fading. “Why?”

  “I'm just trying to solve my clothing crisis,” Massie said. “Thanks.”

  Mr. Myner lowered his leg and ran his fingers through his thick black hair. “Which brings me to my next point. You girls packed like you were going away for a year, not three days. And that's not going to fly with me.”

  Everyone looked at each other, wondering what he could possibly be getting at.

  “You are here to learn how to survive in the wild, and the first lesson you are going to learn is called ‘living light.’“

  “That's the name of my mom's favorite spa in Boca,” Alicia announced.

  The girls instantly perked up, thinking they were about to spend the day getting spa treatments.

  “Well, my version is about doing away with excess,” Mr. Myner said. “You'll be surprised by how little you need to live a happy, meaningful life.”

  “Principal Burns needs to give the poor guy a raise,” Dylan whispered to Massie.

  Massie bit her lower lip to keep from laughing.

  “So I want each one of you to pick out two pairs of pants, two sweaters, two long-sleeve jerseys, three pairs of underwear, and one pair of boots. The rest of your stuff will be taken away and locked in the bus until it's time to leave. And oh …” Mr. Myner let out a small smile. “Try to avoid white or anything with stripes, because I'm told they don't look good on camera.”

  Dylan hid her face in her hands and shook her head.

  “Sounds cool!” Strawberry blurted out. Her excited expression changed the instant she realized she was the only one in the room who felt that way.

  “No, it doesn't!” Alicia shouted. “Not only are we going to be on TV wearing the same outfits every day, but there are guys here. Why should they see us in the same clothes day after day? It's not fair to them.”

  “I assure you, they will be following the same rules,” Mr. Myner said.

  “This is a Board of Health issue,” Dylan protested. “It's not sanitary.”

  “You will be taught to wash your clothes in the lake with Ivory soap. It's bio
degradable, you know.” Mr. Myner held up his index finger. “And I assure you, there is no fresher water source in the entire state.”

  “Most of my stuff needs to be washed in warm water, and that lake is freezing.” Livvy shivered as she bit down on her bottom lip.

  “How are we supposed to explain this to the clothes we leave behind?” Olivia asked. “They're going to be so upset.”

  Everyone giggled.

  “What about all the money we spent buying new wardrobes for the trip?” Alexandra asked. “Will we be compensated for that?”

  “Your parents got a newsletter that explained all of this.” Mr. Myner stroked his mustache.

  “Puh-lease, no one reads those.” Massie rolled her eyes.

  The girls nodded in agreement.

  “Whatifsomethinggetsstainedorsoiledormuddythenwhat?” Carrie shouted.

  “What?” Mr. Myner sounded frustrated. “Ladies, this is a survival trip, not Fashion Week. You'll see it's very liberating. Trust me, at the end of our time here, you'll thank me.”

  “How does he know about Fashion Week?” Alicia whispered to Massie.

  “My mom,” Dylan suggested.

  Layne tore the top off another Go-Gurt. It must have been her fifth one of the day.

  “Which reminds me,” Mr. Myner said. “I will be collecting your food stashes. Not only does stuff like that attract bears and rodents, but also an endless supply will keep you from feeding off of your existing fat stores in case of a crisis.”

  “The only fat store I know about is Lane Bryant,” Massie said.

  The whole class burst out laughing. Even Mr. Myner smiled.

  “Seriously, though,” Dylan shouted above the laughter. “What if you don't have any fat stores?”

  Massie and Alicia rolled their eyes.

  “Trust me, you do,” Mr. Myner said.

  Dylan folded her arms across her chest and stuck her tongue out at him the second he looked away.

  “Do I need to remind you that your performance on this trip is worth extra credit?”

  The girls immediately turned to one another to discuss what to save and what to surrender. While they debated, Mr. Myner made the rounds with a big green garbage bag. One by one they reached into their handbags and dumped their bubble gum, sugar-free gum, Luna bars, yogurt bars, wheat-free bars, carob chocolate bars, and baked Lays into the bag. Layne tossed her tube of Go-Gurt in and swore up and down that it was her last.

  “If it's all right with you, Ms. Block, we took the liberty of leaving your five cases of vitamin water on the bus.”

  “Whatevs.” Massie shrugged.

  “Next I am coming around for all of your electronics, so please have those out,” he said. “Cell phones, Sidekicks, BlackBerries, video games, DVD players, and computers—all of it. A violation buys you a ticket home, no exceptions.”

  Mr. Myner ignored the enraged protests that followed and stayed his course.

  “And another thing,” he said. “Claire and Layne, you will have to get rid of your glittery shoes.” He pointed to their rhinestone-covered sneakers. “They attract bears and other wild beasts.”

  “Yes!” Massie lifted her hands above her head and punched the air with her fists.

  Layne sighed and started picking the black rhinestones off her Chucks. Claire simply took hers off and dumped them in his trash bag.

  “You too, Massie,” Mr. Myner said.

  “Ew, puh-lease, I would never wear glittery sneakers,” Massie insisted.

  “Your necklaces,” he said. “The light reflects off them as well.”

  “I can't.” Massie grabbed her chains like they were her life support.

  “You will.” Mr. Myner held out his hand.

  Massie ran her fingers through the gold tangles around her neck, separating one chain from the other. When she found the one she was looking for, she held it in the air like an Olympic medalist showing off her gold. “This one has a compass. And I'll need that out here.”

  Mr. Myner stepped over the girls on the floor on his way over to Massie. She held the round gold compass in front of his face while he examined it closely. He lifted it in his manly chapped palm and turned it in every direction to make sure the needle moved.

  “Ow, you're choking me.” Massie rubbed her neck.

  “Fine.” Mr. Myner dropped the compass. “But the rest have to go.”

  Massie grinned. In the context of this day, she considered this a major victory.

  “You have exactly ten minutes to wash up and dress warmly. I'd like to see you all in front of Powwow Log at fourteen hundred hours. That's the big stump to the right of the dining pavilion.”

  Olivia raised her hand.

  “Yes, Olivia?”

  “My watch only goes up to twelve,” she said.

  Everyone laughed. Olivia looked around with a confused expression on her face.

  “Fourteen hundred is military time for two o'clock,” Mr. Myner said kindly. “I will be happy to explain how it works if you'd like.”

  “Nah.” Olivia waved him away. “It's not like I'm going to join or anything, but thanks anyway.”

  Mr. Myner raised his voice so he could be heard over the laughter. “The Adirondack park patrol will stop by to remove your excess luggage and put it in storage. Please cooperate with them.” He turned the knob on the cabin door and looked back at the girls with a satisfied smile on his face. “Welcome to paradise!” He threw open the door and breathed in the crisp, sun-drenched mountain air. “Ahhhhh.” He exhaled, then left.

  Massie reached for her PalmPilot to enter her latest State of the Union only to realize Mr. Myner had confiscated it. Maybe Kristen didn't have it so bad after all.

  LAKE PLACID, NEW YORK FOREVER WILD CAMPSITE POWWOW LOG

  Monday, February 23rd 2:02 P.M.

  “I bet she's memorizing TV Guide.” Alicia buttoned her gray cashmere Ralph Lauren coat.

  “I bet she's checking out the sales at Target,” Dylan guessed.

  “You're all wrong,” Massie said. “She's probably working on her college admissions essay.”

  While the girls played guess-what-Kristen's-doing on their walk to Powwow Log, Claire tried to focus on the rhythmic sound of twigs snapping beneath her two-toned boots. It was a little game she'd just invented called step ‘n’ snap. The object was to crack a twig with every step she took. It was her latest attempt to take her mind off of Cam and focus on something else. But it wasn't working. Didn't he miss her at all? Was she that easy to get over?

  Cam's unmistakable snicker instantly distracted her—a cross between a giggle and a rusty jackhammer. He was standing ten feet away on Powwow Log, with his hands stuffed into the side pockets of his brown leather jacket. He was kicking his heels into the thick, dry wood and talking to Plovert, who was leaning on a crutch, trying to stay balanced on the soft ground.

  “Look how tough he is.” Dylan tapped her heart when she saw Plovert. “One working leg and he's out here braving the elements.”

  “Why don't you go over there and tell him how you've been madly in love with him since eight-thirty this morning?” Massie gave Dylan a playful shove.

  “Shut up!” Dylan smacked Massie lightly on the arm.

  Within seconds the two girls were throwing pine needles in each other's hair and laughing hysterically.

  Claire wondered if they knew they had an audience, then assumed they did. Massie rarely did anything without one.

  “Catfight!” Derrington shouted as he approached the log with Kemp Hurley and Josh Hotz. Five other guys lagged behind them, but Claire didn't even know their names. According to the Pretty Committee, they didn't count because:

  1) They never bothered to flirt.

  2) They weren't on the soccer team.

  3) They were barely tall enough to turn on a light switch.

  “Watch out,” Massie shouted. “We're coming for you next.”

  Claire admired Massie for being able to act comfortable around Derrington even though she wasn'
t. How did she do it? If only Claire could pretend to be happy without Cam. But it was impossible. Every time she tried, her voice sounded higher than usual and her movements felt foreign and exaggerated, like she was watching a bad actress play the role of Claire Lyons in the movie version of her pathetic love life.

  “Bring it!” Derrington put up his dukes and punched the air.

  “Hold me back.” Massie pretended to lunge toward Derrington but stayed close to her girls.

  “Relax.” Mr. Dingle jogged up behind Derrington, grabbed his fists, and lowered them. “We're not here to beat up the girls.”

  “We're not?” Derrington wiggled his butt.

  The boys laughed. A light breeze blew Cam's thick dark hair to the right of his face, revealing his blue eye. Claire sighed. She knew it would be a matter of days before another girl stole him away for good.

  “Let's hang here,” Massie declared. The girls stood under a tree a few feet away from the log. Now that Massie had marked her turf, it would be the Pretty Committee's spot for the rest of the trip. When Alexandra, Carrie, Livvy, Olivia, and Layne showed up a few seconds later, they automatically knew to keep a reasonable distance. The only one stupid enough to stand right under the tree was Strawberry. She walked right over to the girls and started chatting like they were all the best of friends.

  “So, what do you think our first activity is going to be?” she asked.

  “I heard we're all going to stand around and watch Mr. Myner pitch a tent.” Massie tried not to laugh at her own joke, but she lost it the second Dylan and Alicia cracked up.

  Claire felt bad. It was obvious Strawberry didn't get it because she just stood there, then nervously grabbed a handful of her pink hair and stuffed it under the hood of her gray sweatshirt.

  “It's so funny how the boys are standing by the log and we're back here by the tree,” Claire mused.

  Massie, Dylan, and Alicia looked at her, their eyebrows raised.

  “Why?” Massie sounded slightly annoyed. “How should it be?”

  “Well, at my old school in Orlando everyone would be together.”

  “Perv,” Alicia sneezed.