Hard Love

by Joanne Schwehm

  Adam’s arms wrapped around me. “He’s a complicated man. His entire life has been that way, but you were the only woman he has ever fallen for.” My brother put his hands on my shoulders and looked at me. “I’m so sorry you’re hurting.”

  “I know.” I swiped away more tears. “I’ll be fine, but I think I want to be alone for a bit.”

  He kissed me on the cheek. “Day or night, if you need me . . .”

  “Thank you.”

  When he opened the door, Haley stood in the hallway. “Hi.” She took one look at me and frowned. “This is all my fault.”

  Adam said bye to both of us, and now I was on to round two with Haley, who was currently holding me in a bear hug. “Haley, it’s not your fault.” Her arms relaxed and fell to her sides. “Although you may have just cracked a rib.”

  Once again, I found myself on the couch, talking about Noah and all that transpired. “You broke up?” Haley’s shoulders sagged. “Holy shit, Margo. I had no idea he’d react that way.”

  “Well, it’s done and over with. How about we get out of here?” Even though I was exhausted, that would be my only saving grace.

  “If you’re sure, then yes.”

  “Let me go shower and get ready. Give me twenty.”

  Haley nodded, and then called out to me, “It’s raining, so grab an umbrella.”

  Great.

  It’d been seventeen days since I’d seen or heard from Noah. Not wanting to dwell on how much I missed him, I threw myself into work. Poor Rochelle was running around the city talking to vendors and managers for an event I had decided to plan.

  Ever since Exquisitely Yours was mentioned in the paper, business boomed. All it took was that one break to get noticed. That’s when it dawned on me that I could do the same for others. And by others, I meant up-and-coming designers and undiscovered boutiques.

  Rochelle burst in my office and plopped down on a chair, fanning herself with a manila folder. “I just talked to Alex Logan.”

  “The Alex Logan? Owner of The White Orchid?”

  “Uh huh. God, he’s even sexy on the phone. I called and asked for Tyler or Brett like you asked, but they were doing inventory or something, I don’t know. And the woman who answered the phone connected me with Alex. Once I stopped stuttering and could complete a coherent sentence, I asked him about the space.” I waited for her to finish her fangirl moment. She straightened herself out. “Anyway, he said we can host our event there as long as we do it on a weeknight, except for a Friday, of course.” Rochelle handed me the folder. “This is the list of confirmed designers and boutiques that will be in attendance. The designers are paying it forward and bringing some new models along.”

  “Really? That’s great.”

  “I think so, too, I’m going to go work on the invitations. Should I just use your contact list?”

  I nodded. “Yes, that would be great.”

  Thankfully, the rest of the afternoon flew by. I slid my laptop in my satchel and called it a day. Rochelle walked into my office holding a large rectangular box adorned with a red bow. “This just came for you.” She set it on my desk. “There wasn’t a card.”

  “That’s fine, thank you. I’m sure it’s for the event.” My heart hammered in my chest. Grabbing the end of the ribbon, I pulled it and slid the top off.

  Atop of red tissue paper, laid a card.

  With shaky fingers, I opened it.

  With watery eyes, I read it.

  Margo,

  This arrived at my office today, but it belongs to you. Please don’t send it back; I want you to have it.

  All my love,

  Noah

  I had no idea why I even bothered to look. I knew what it was, the vintage dress from the auction. With gentle hands, I lifted it out of the box to confirm my suspicions.

  Rochelle gasped, “Oh my God!” She pointed at the dress. “That’s a Giovanna Grazi original. Do you know how much that’s worth? Did Noah send it?”

  “Yes, I do and yes, he did.” I studied it for a moment. When I saw it for the first time, it was on a stage. Now, it was in my hands and more beautiful than I could have imagined. The fabric, although old, felt soft and rich. “I’m going home; you should do the same.”

  “Um, okay. Listen, Margo, I’ve done my best not to mention him, but maybe you two can work something out. He’s clearly still thinking about you.”

  “Was there anything else?”

  Rochelle frowned. “No, I’m going to head on home, too. Are you going to be all right?”

  Assuming that was a rhetorical question, I didn’t bother to answer. “Have a good night. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  Back in my apartment, I hung the dress up on a satin hanger and covered it with a white garment bag before changing into a pair of sweats and a T-shirt. How was it that my personal life felt so out of control while my professional life was just the opposite? Maybe it was a sign that work should be my sole focus.

  My closet doors taunted me knowing what was behind them. He asked me not to send it back, but how could I keep it? Rather than send a text, I called him.

  Chapter 26

  That’s a loaded question.

  Stark white letters on the screen spelled out the name I’d been thinking of. Mixed emotions that ran through my head caused me to hesitate. Vibrations illuminating that little green button taunted me—push it and answer it, you dumbass.

  Without further thought, my thumb did my brain’s work. “Hi, Margo.”

  “Hi.” Her curt tone had me on full alert. I think my thumb made a mistake. “Thank you for the dress, but I can’t accept it.” No how are you or I miss you. Only the words I had asked her not to say.

  The skin around my eyes tightened with every circle my fingers made on my forehead. “Margo, it’s yours.”

  “It’s too much; I don’t feel right about it.”

  “Don’t do this.”

  “Do what? Return a gift that cost a half million dollars?”

  This woman . . . not only did she not want what my heart was able to give her, but it was also clear she didn’t want anything from me. You know what I said to that? Too fucking bad, that’s what. “No, returning a gift that I bought for you. Let me give you this one thing. I know you love the dress, you even said so yourself. Plus, you don’t need to worry about affording it since it’s paid for. I could buy a dozen more. It’s no big deal.”

  I looked at my phone and the call timer was ticking away, so I knew she was still on the line, yet all I heard was silence.

  Finally, she spoke, “Did the painting arrive?”

  I briskly replied, “It did.”

  “Are you okay?”

  “That’s a loaded question. Are you sure you want the answer?”

  “I meant about the painting.”

  “I don’t give a fuck about that painting. Do you know how hard these past seventeen days have been for me?”

  She let out a breath with a small squeak at the end, but didn’t say anything. Well, I didn’t either. If she wasn’t sure what to say, I’d sit here and wait until she did. Seconds turned into minutes—it felt like an eternity. Finally, after another breath followed by a stifled sniff hit my eardrum. “It was hard for me, too, but it doesn’t change anything. We want different things.”

  “No, we don’t. You just want a piece of paper, validating our commitment. We don’t need that. I am committed to you.”

  “Like I said, different things.”

  “Can I ask you something?”

  “Yes.”

  Bracing myself for the worst, I asked, “Do you miss me?”

  “Every day.” Her voice softened and all I hoped was I could get through to her.

  “I miss you, too. My days have been hell.”

  Another sniffle. “It will get easier.”

  Yeah, I wasn’t going to get through to her. Margo’s mind was made up, and she thought I was the stubborn one. “I’ll take your word for it.” With a huff, I stood from the couch and poure
d myself two fingers of scotch. My esophagus burned when the liquid slid down my throat. With a thud, I placed the empty glass on the table. “Keep the dress, donate it, do whatever you want, since it’s yours. Take care of yourself, Margo.”

  Funny thing, pressing the red button to end the call was just as difficult as it was to push the green one.

  Birds chirped, flowers bloomed, and everyone was happier. It was unbelievable what that golden orb peeking out from the purplish pink horizon did for people’s dispositions. Even I was starting to feel more like myself. My feet pounded on the path through the park, stepping on leafy shadows. The more I thought about the past couple of weeks, the harder I ran. Today marked the twenty-ninth day that I hadn’t seen Margo.

  What also sucked was I hadn’t seen Adam very much either. Maybe Margo was right, and because we didn’t work, it would screw up my friendship with her brother. But tomorrow, that was going to change, unless I could get out of going to the event Jan was gung-ho about.

  A blond ponytail swung on the head in front of me. Her toned, lithe body was highlighted by a pair of hot pink running shorts. Dammit, I should want her, but I didn’t. The old me would have run up to her until we were side by side to strike up a conversation. But the new me was in a fucking slump. Rather than doing what I would have done pre-Margo, I turned around and headed in the opposite direction.

  Two by two, I jogged up the steps. Jan greeted me at my door. “After you shower,” she crinkled her nose, “we can go over your calendar and agenda for tomorrow night.”

  When I stared at her blankly, she shook her head. “Nice try, but you know what tomorrow is. Now go get cleaned up. Your morning has been cleared.”

  Jan knew exactly what I needed. “Thank you, Jan. But I’m not attending.” Before the scowl turned to scolding, I walked into my office.

  Suds ran down my body, followed by warm water. I was finally at the point where cold showers weren’t necessary. It wasn’t because I was having sex with anyone other than myself, but because I was starting to feel back to normal. When I read The Post last week, my “eligible” status had been restored. I wasn’t fond of seeing the words written in black and white, but it was what it was. Like me, Margo had convictions. Who was I to fault her for that?

  Back behind my desk, I fired up my laptop and let Jan know I was ready.

  Wisps of gray hair fluttered as she sat in front of me sans iPad and clicked the top of her pen. “Tomorrow night is the Freeman Benefit. I did RSVP for two, but that won’t be a problem if Ms. Perry can’t go with you or you don’t have a date.” As if my eyelids were spring-loaded, I looked at her. Her small hand waved back and forth. “You know what I mean. Would you like me to find a nice girl for you? Anna in accounting has a niece who is single. She’s a very sweet girl.”

  Maybe she didn’t hear me. “I’m sure she is, but I’m not going.” Originally, I had planned on going with Adam and Cade, but I’ve since informed them I wouldn’t be attending.

  “Noah Winston, you will be going to this event. Montgomery Freeman was a close friend and colleague of your grandfather’s.” The stray wisps of gray that poked out from the side of her head were smoothed with the brush of her palm. “Now, about Anna’s niece . . .”

  Why this woman could get me to do things was beyond me. “I’m good going solo. That is, unless you’d like to be my plus one.”

  Lines deepened around her eyes. “Actually, I have plans, but I appreciate the offer.”

  “Hot date?” I waggled my eyebrows.

  “A lady never tells.”

  A hearty chuckle escaped me. “Well, have fun, but not too much fun . . .” I tossed her a wink. “Take the rest of the day off. I’m going to do the same once I cancel my afternoon.”

  Jan stood. “I’ll take care of it.”

  “Jan . . .” I leaned forward, forearms rested on my desk, fingers laced together. “I’m quite capable of handling my calendar for one afternoon. Now, I’d like you to go to Cara’s and get the works—hair, nails, massage . . . wax.” She sucked in air so quick it made me laugh. “Please, it’s on me. Have them put it on my account.”

  Once she realized arguing with me would be futile, she was on her way to Cara’s Day Spa on the lower floor of this building. They had been renting the space for a few years now, and Jan had never indulged herself.

  Most of my clients weren’t disappointed I canceled. I was sure they were headed for a round of eighteen. Anytime the weather warmed up, many Friday afternoon meetings were conducted on the course rather than a boardroom.

  Blue skies captured my attention. The city was so peaceful from where I stood. Although, I knew as soon as I walked out of my building, the beat of the city would be palpable. Life was happening whether I was ready for it or not. It was time for me to get my head out of my ass and live it.

  Arthur greeted me. “Home, sir?”

  “Yes, thank you.”

  When I walked into my place, Jan called.

  “Hello, Jan. How was your appointment?”

  “Glorious. Thank you very much for everything. I forgot to tell you, they are taking donations—either monetary or items they can sell. All proceeds benefit the Freeman Scholarship.”

  “Thank you. I’ll be sure to donate something. Now, stop worrying about me and enjoy the rest of your day.”

  “Noah, one more thing.”

  I sat on my couch and looked at the painting wrapped in brown paper. “Yes?”

  “Please don’t let what happened with your parents cast a dark cloud over your own happiness.”

  “Thank you.”

  “I know you’re rolling your eyes or running your fingers through your hair . . .” With a smack, my hand dropped to my lap. “Just take it from an old woman who cares about you. Be happy and have fun tomorrow night.”

  “Thank you. And, Jan?”

  “Yes?”

  “Have fun on your date, and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

  She laughed. “If I follow that philosophy, the possibilities are endless.”

  The spa must have rejuvenated her feistiness. I couldn’t be more pleased with how relaxed she sounded. “See you on Monday.”

  Before going home, I called the company hosting the Freeman Benefit and donated the painting of my mother. Maybe once she was cleared out of my life, my head would follow suit.

  Chapter 27

  Can I have this dance?

  You’d think selecting a wardrobe for others would make picking an outfit for myself simple. Oddly, it wasn’t. Veronica Freeman, daughter and Chairperson of the Freeman Benefit, was my client. She invited me to her family’s event, and I couldn’t very well refuse to attend.

  Ever since that day Exquisitely Yours was mentioned in The Post, my client list grew with socialites. Not that I was complaining, but I was much better at being the dresser rather than the dressee.

  Dark cranberry silk clung loosely to my curves. The way the draping on the back rested just above my lower spine was sexy, but not too revealing. I had to admit, with my strawberry blonde curls neatly wound on top of my head, my reflection didn’t look half bad.

  My buzzer rang and I knew it was Adam. The look in his eyes when I pulled the door open relaxed me.

  “Wow, sis, you look gorgeous.” He leaned in and gave me a kiss. “It’s a good thing I’m there tonight to keep an eye on you.”

  With my clutch and keys in hand, I rolled my eyes. “You’re ridiculous. Is Cade outside?”

  When Adam told me that Noah wasn’t going to be there tonight, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed, but on the other hand, I was relieved. Even though I assumed he’d been seeing other women—I mean, how could he not be—It didn’t mean I wanted to see it up close and personal.

  “He’s meeting us there.” Adam glanced at his platinum Tag Heuer. “We should get going. We’re already an hour late.”

  The ride to The Plaza was quicker than normal. It could have been my nerves that made everything feel as if we moved
at super-sonic speed, but nonetheless we had arrived at our destination.

  Crystal chandeliers and arched walls, framed with antique columns, created a palatial environment. Round tables with numbers on them filled the room. At the end of the space was a dance floor where couples were dancing to soft dinner music provided by a ten-piece band.

  Adam guided me through the crowd. I did a quick scan of the room to see if I recognized anyone, and aside from Ms. Freeman, I didn’t know a soul except for Cade, who was talking to a blonde woman at the bar.

  An older gentleman approached Adam. He introduced me, and then asked if he could borrow my brother. The man looked important, and of course, I was a big girl who could take care of herself.

  “I’ll be at the bar.” Before anyone could say a word, I made my way to where Cade was. His eyes caught mine and the blonde was forgotten. “Well, don’t you look gorgeous tonight?” He bent and kissed my lips, catching me off guard. “It’s good seeing you. Champagne?”

  “Sounds good.” The bartender handed me a flute of bubbly. The effervescent liquid slid down my throat. “This is good, thank you.”

  Cade set my glass on the bar. “Come on, let’s dance.”

  “One second.” I detoured toward our table to drop off my purse before we hit the dance floor.

  He spun me around once before pulling me into a dancer’s embrace. Cade was an incredibly handsome man, and I could tell the women in the room would love to exchange places with me.

  “Thank you for dancing with me, but wouldn’t you like to dance with someone else?”

  His eyes met mine. “No, there will be time for them later.” He winked. “Plus, you’re the prettiest woman here.” The band started playing “I’m Yours” by Jason Mraz, and like a bow and arrow, Cade pushed my arm to the right until it was perfectly straight. “Tango?” His brows waggled.