Ask Me Why

by Rae, Harloe

  She shuffles backward toward the door. “I didn’t mean to overstep, sir. My apologies.”

  I wave her off. “Get back to work.”

  Kathy nods and scurries from the room. I push away from my desk and stand. The chaos I created isn’t going to clean itself. I scoop it all into a cluster and start sorting.

  I’m shoving contents into the final folder when my phone rings. With a grunt, I reach up and grab the receiver. “Stone.”

  A familiar tsk greets me. “Is that how you answer at work?”

  “Hello, Mary. What a pleasant surprise.” My tone suggests anything but.

  “Yeah, I’m sure. Listen, we need to talk.”

  I snort. “Oh, really? I wouldn’t have guessed based off the fact you called me.”

  “Don’t be a smartass. I’m serious.” The steel in her voice has me sitting up straighter.

  “What’s going on?”

  Mary clears her throat. “Ollie is pretty down, Brance.”

  “Okay?” I drag the word out until it’s stretched five seconds.

  “He’s not himself, you know? I can’t get him to smile. He’s not interested in going to the park or swimming in the lake. I’m at a loss.”

  A hot iron stake drives into my chest. “Where are you?”

  “Maple Street.” She doesn’t need to say more.

  I drag rough fingers through my hair. “Why did you feel the need to contact me at this specific moment?”

  “Ollie doesn’t want to leave.”

  “Great. Feel free to let him stay until that place is out of his system. Is that all?”

  I can practically hear Mary’s composure thin. “Pull your big head out of your stubborn ass. Your child is sad.”

  “And that’s very upsetting for me. I’m unclear what you’re expecting me to do about it while at work.”

  “Listen to me.” She says this in the same manner one would scold a disobedient toddler.

  A rumble fit for a lion rises from my gut. What is it with women lately? They’re all grating on my nonexistent tolerance.

  “I am,” I spit.

  She makes an approving sound. “Good. Cut him some slack. You’re not the only wounded party in this breakup.”

  “We didn’t break up.”

  “No?”

  “No. There was nothing to split. It was fun. Now it’s not. We just ended our part of this… agreement.”

  Mary crows down the line. “That’s a good one. Very clean cut transaction. But Ollie gets stuck in the middle.”

  “I specifically told her to maintain the relationship with him.”

  “She’s trying. He wants more. The transition is tough on him.”

  I choke down a curse. Ollie and his tender heart. “Most life lessons are. Hell, I’m still getting my ass handed to me on a regular basis. Shit doesn’t seem to get easier.”

  That couldn’t be more true after this recent experience with Braelyn. I never went through a custody battle. Veronica’s one gift to me was leaving in peace. But this feels an awful lot like what I would have dealt with. Maybe worse because I actually give a shit about—

  Nope, not going there. Thinking about Braelyn is worse than jamming toothpicks under my fingernails. That woman stole any decency from me. Not that there was much to begin with. She’s the exact reason why I never form relationships.

  Mary murmurs something to someone else. I assume it’s Ollie. She comes back on the line with a resigned sigh. “What do you recommend I try next?”

  I inhale a deep breath through flared nostrils. “Take him away from that awful store. Being there so much isn’t good for him. Especially after recent events. Why doesn’t he want to go somewhere else?”

  “You know the answer. Thicket is his favorite.”

  Pressure builds in my already flexing muscles. “I’m well aware and trying to be supportive. But refusing to leave isn’t an effective solution. He’s doing this on purpose.”

  “Oliver is a child. Of course he’s pushing for his way. He takes after someone else in that respect.”

  “Yeah, great. Is my daily dose of guilt over?”

  Mary doesn’t relent. “You were on a good path. Things were going very well. Then what?”

  I exhale a heavy breath, a bull backed into a corner. “We’ve already discussed this.”

  “Be sympathetic. Try imagining his feelings in all this. The thing he seeks most was almost in his grasp.”

  My skull squeezes in a vice grip. I’d almost let myself believe in that possibility. I rub at the ache in my chest. “Okay, I surrender. Please stop this. Let Ollie buy extra candy. Give him a lifetime supply of movie passes. Take him to the water slides.”

  “He doesn’t want any of that,” Mary states.

  “What then?”

  She pauses for several moments. “He’s asking if Braelyn can come over for dinner.”

  My snort is a straight shot of disbelief. There’s no way Mary missed it. “That’s not happening. Ever again.”

  “Brance—”

  I swipe through the air. “Save it. That woman isn’t welcome under my roof, around our family table. I tried and my efforts were wasted.”

  “Braelyn was scared. She’s been traumatized. Her reaction was extreme, yes. But it’s one more thing to practice.”

  “Are you taking her side?”

  “Of course not—”

  I grind my molars. “Sure about that?”

  She huffs. “Brance, stop cutting me off. You’re being unreasonable.”

  “Am I? Doesn’t seem that way to me.”

  “Take a moment and look around you.”

  She can’t see me, but for whatever reason I find my eyes sweeping around the office. This space was one of my sacred domains. That’s not the case anymore. All I see is Braelyn perched across from me, smiling bright and filling my empty heart with bullshit.

  It’s been several days since Braelyn stomped out of my house. Any edges she managed to smooth are more jagged than ever. Lord help anyone who stands in my trail. With her absence, they’ll bear the brunt of my anger. I almost lost my shit on Kathy. Mary is pushing the last of my buttons. I’m ashamed to admit my patience with Ollie has been lacking. I have a lot to make up for.

  Maybe we’ll go to a Blues game this weekend. But the thought stops me short. Even that experience is tainted.

  Mary’s voice breaks through my revere. “What did you find?”

  “Nothing,” I tell her honestly.

  “Exactly. Fix it. And this time, make her stick.”

  I roll my eyes to the ceiling. “This has been quite invigorating, but I need to go.”

  Mary hums. “Sure, dear. Maybe you’ll finish up early today.”

  “Doubt it,” I grumble.

  “Just try,” she murmurs.

  I sag into my chair, the will to argue draining from me. “Great chat, Mary. Thanks.”

  “You’re very welcome. Have a lovely afternoon.”

  I lock my fingers behind my neck. “Tell Ollie I say hello.”

  “And to Braelyn as well?”

  The fight roars back to life. “You better be joking with that shit.”

  Her laugh is sharp. “Had to try. Bye, Brance.”

  I slam the receiver down. The plastic cracks in my grip. A knock on my door immediately follows. I bite back a slew of expletives.

  “Come in,” I snap.

  Don’s wrinkly mug appears around the corner frame. “Kathy told me you’re off the phone. Do you have a minute?”

  As if I can say no to one of the founding fathers. “Sure. Take a seat.”

  He ambles over and parks himself in one of the leather chairs. “How’s the week going?”

  I make a show of checking my jam-packed calendar. “Just fine.”

  Don leans forward. “No issues I should be aware of?”

  I cross my arms. “Seems like you know something I don’t.”

  He shrugs. “Not necessarily. How’s morale lately?”

  “Good.
Did something happen? Is there a problem?”

  “No. You’ve just been… off.”

  I feel the muscle in my jaw jump. “Oh?”

  Don holds up a palm. “Now don’t get defensive. It’s just an observation.”

  “From?”

  “A few around the office.”

  I furrow my brow. “In regards to what?”

  “You just seem out of sorts. Issues at home?”

  His assumption ratchets the tension is my shoulders. “Nah. No trouble there.”

  “Is there too much pressure being partner? I thought you were ready—”

  “I am,” I interrupt. “I love my job.”

  He chuckles. “Maybe you should start acting like it.”

  I curl my fingers into a fist under my desk. “With all due respect, I’ve never stepped out of line in all the years I’ve been working here.”

  His beady eyes narrow on mine. “That can change very quickly.”

  I blow out the fire in my veins. “I’m good, sir. Just a bad few days. We all have them.”

  “Get your damn head in the game. I don’t need clients or employees complaining.”

  A wrecking ball barrels into me. I force my features to remain neutral. “Have they?”

  Don flings a meaty hand at me. “Only rumors. Nothing worth reporting.”

  Why the fuck is he interrupting my day for this hearsay drivel? Three fucking strikes and I’m burning out. This day just needs to end. I tug at the collar of my shirt. If I didn’t have a meeting in an hour, the top button would be popped.

  I swallow the sand in my throat. “I’ll make sure it doesn’t turn into an actual issue.”

  He nods. “Good. I’d hate to rescind your promotion. We know you’re a bit of a wild card, but the risk was easy. These recent developments have us worried. We don’t need bad press.”

  I rip through the company catalogue, searching for the asshole who reported me. The easy assumption would be Kathy. But if I go, so does she. That’d be a real stupid choice.

  My gaze locks on his. “I won’t let you down, sir.”

  Don strokes his chin. “You need a vacation?”

  One swift jerk of my head. “Nah, I’m good.”

  “Maybe it’s not an option.”

  I ease back in my chair. “You forcing me out?”

  “Are you giving me a reason to force you out?”

  My seams fray and I push. “Maybe.”

  He snorts. “Cut the cocky shit, Brance. Get it together, or we’ll be discussing your position here.”

  I glare at him, knowing the threat is thin. He can’t fire me without a fight. I’d take half the clients with me. But I still relent with a grunt.

  “Fine. I’ll curb the attitude.”

  He knocks on my desk. “That’s all I’m asking.”

  I nod. “Don’t worry, sir. I’ll get it handled.”

  Don stands, straightening his suit. “Tell that little boy of yours hello for me.”

  “Will do.” I offer him a hand to shake. He takes it, applying more pressure than necessary. I quirk a brow. Really, old man? Get back to the golf course.

  After he leaves and I’m left in silence, reality seeps in. It’s a damn bitter pill. Everything is fucking unraveling. I need to get a grip and shove through this dip.

  Of the three, that last conversion stuns me most. I’m a fucking professional. I didn’t work this damn hard to piss it all away over a woman. This job allows me to provide for my son. Nothing has the power to fuck with that.

  Mary’s concern clangs in my ear. Ollie is top priority. I’ll start by patching up the recent dents this lapse in judgement are causing. He’ll forgive me. And one day he might understand. The thought of him turning into a scorned asshole leaves me chilled. I’ll do my best to avoid that.

  I crack my knuckles and settle in. This might be a long-ass day after all. I’ll clean up my act and forget about Braelyn. Two insignificant problems with one large boulder.

  Braelyn

  Flicker

  My house is too quiet, but that’s nothing new. A few blissful months couldn’t change what always lurks just under the surface. Reality is a cruel bitch. I couldn’t escape for long. And here I am. Right back where I started.

  But I’m going to be fine. Better than that.

  I allow my eyelids to slide shut. The comforting words form on my lips. I’m strong enough. Today is better than yesterday. Nothing will break me again. I’ve been repeating these since stumbling out of Brance’s house a week ago. So far, it’s been vital for keeping my head above water. I’m not drowning today.

  Loneliness echoes off the floors, a taunting sound I can’t hide from. I hate it. The hollow feeling festers, bubbling inside of me with no outlet. I’m one step away from getting a dog or cat. Something to take the isolation away. Companionship would be a bonus.

  The lack of sleep isn’t helping. All I see is Brance. In my own damn house. He’s haunting me. The thought is laughable considering the visions are erotic. He’s banging me into the wall. So hard that the picture frames crash with our thrusts. He’s carrying me up the stairs and into my shower. The mirrors steam up with our pleasure. He’s spreading me out on the kitchen table, feasting on me for hours. Who needs food when we have each other?

  Okay, enough. I need to get out of here.

  I toss my purse over a shoulder and dash outside. Keys in hand, I slip behind the wheel of my car. With a quick twist the engine is purring. I grab the stretched leather in front of me. A circuit misfires in my brain. Where the hell am I going?

  The idea of visiting Devon waffles through the cobwebs. The last thing I need is more silence. And talking to him about Brance doesn’t seem right. I’m not sure he’d appreciate what my mind has been picturing. I settle on driving until something strikes.

  Down the winding roads I go. Light filters between the overhead trees, showing me the way. I follow with an easy smile—my first natural one in days. In the end, I turn my car onto Vicksburg Road and drive toward the cliffs. The steep views from Cliffton Heights have always been my favorite. They’re the best for rainbow sightings. Catching the rain on my face. Listening to nature surround me with music. Feeling the wind twist my hair. All the organic beauty often overlooked.

  My fingers skip across the overgrown grass. The lush meadow swallows me as I wade deeper. On the tips of my toes, I can see the edge. That unsteady pulse slows inside of me. This place is reliable, carrying the burden for a while. I’ll gladly forget my troubles and get lost among the wildflowers.

  I find my patch of worn turf and plop down. The slight breeze tickles my cheeks. I breathe in the fresh air and tip backwards. The warm ground welcomes me with an open embrace. My arms spread wide, giving a hug in return. The sunshine instantly thaws the frost that’s been building inside of me.

  The bright rays break through the murky haze I’m caught in. But I can’t quite reach for the other side. I shield my eyes and let the bridge narrow this gap. A vibrant rainbow arches across the baby blue sky. There’re a few white fluffy clouds floating by, but otherwise it’s a clear backdrop. A flock of boisterous birds chirp a summer song. The lazy lapping of waves against the shore lull me. But swirls of restless energy remain. A thick sigh wheezes from my tired lungs. Even this slice of paradise can’t lift the gloom.

  Brance Stone is a menace. There, I said it. Again. I can’t seem to avoid him. Who does that man think he is? He’s bad for me, but that doesn’t stop my body from wanting more. After ripping apart my heart, that man won’t quit. But I’ll take the blame for that. I tumbled and fell when all signs pointed to danger.

  I still have Ollie. But in a one-dimensional capacity. Without Brance, things will be very different. Guarded. Stagnant. There won’t be dinners or slumber parties or hope for more.

  A shadow blocks the sun, stealing the warmth.

  “How’d I know you’d be here?”

  I peel an eyelid open to find Sadie bending over me. “Hey, Dee.”

  �
�Hi, yourself. Getting lost in your bubble?”

  She’s well aware of my attachment to this spot. It’s been my solace ever since that rainbow called to me three years ago.

  I pet the warm earth beside me. “The lookout has saved me a time or two. Figured I could use some familiar comfort.”

  “So, what’s with the catnap?”

  “Trying to relax.”

  Sadie settles next to me, stretching her legs out. “Rough shape?”

  I lift a shoulder. “Better than expected.”

  “Nightmares?”

  “No.”

  “Panic attacks.”

  “Nope.”

  “Just down?”

  A jerky nod from me. “It’s been a bit bumpy. Nothing I can’t handle.” I’m glossing over the truth, of course.

  “I suppose that explains the staycation.” She motions around us.

  “It’s nice to get outta my house. Too eerie.” I shiver regardless of the humidity clinging to me.

  Sadie shuffles closer. “You should have called. I’m always up for hanging out.”

  I offer a limp grin. “Thanks, Dee. But you can’t come to my rescue every day. I love it here. It’s peaceful and makes me happy.”

  She’s quiet for a moment. “Have you seen Ollie lately?”

  A familiar pinch cinches my chest. “Yeah, he was in yesterday.”

  “How’s he doing?”

  I lick my dry lips. “He seems to be plugging along. There was definitely a lack of pep in his step. He keeps asking if I’ll be coming back to his house.” My sniff is quiet. “That breaks my heart a little more each time.”

  Sadie rubs my arm. “Damn, that’s rough. I’m sorry, friend.”

  “It’ll be okay. We’ll figure it out. I’m glad he still wants to visit after what happened.”

  She huffs. “You couldn’t keep that kid away. He adores you. Pretty sure you’ve got a friend for life with that little boy.”

  I smile at her. “I can handle that.”

  “Speaking of favorite customers,” her voice trails off slightly.

  I know what’s coming before she can ask. “Mary is always the one to bring him in.”

  “Damn.”

  “Meh, it’s better that way. There’s enough awkward tension without Brance stomping close by. I’m not sure how to act with Ollie. Everything is screwed up. Things should go back to basic, right? He’s just an adorable kiddo who loves candy and is a regular at my store.”