So I’d be the one she was going home with.
I knew she wouldn’t go until at least ten, so I had two hours to kill. I wanted to try to convince her not to go at all, but that idea was futile.
I continued my pacing. I had to have the confidence this was going to work because the alternative was too heartbreaking. I’d just finally accepted the idea of Avery and me. I wasn’t about to let it go now that I believed in it.
I took a quick shower and formulated my plan. I did good thinking in the shower, so I thought it would help. Instead, as I dried off after I got out, I felt nervous. I didn’t know what I was going to say to her. She was stubborn, as stubborn as me, and that was the thing that was going to stand in my way.
I put some product in my hair and got dressed. I brushed my teeth. I did all of the mundane tasks I needed to do, and then I looked at my clock again.
Twenty minutes had passed.
This waiting was torture.
I thought about calling Andrew. He was always up for trolling the bar for women, but that’s not what the night was going to be about. I wasn’t trolling. I was looking for one woman in particular.
I texted Avery. I couldn’t help it. Peaches, I’m not giving up without a fight. You know that, right? –G
I waited for a reply, and one came about five minutes later. I figured. But it’s too late.
She didn’t sign off with her “A.”
She always signed off with her “A.” It was her trademark, our inside joke.
But she left it off.
It’s never too late. –G
My phone buzzed with another text, but it wasn’t from Avery. It was from Alyssa, the girl I’d fucked in my garage on top of my car a few weeks before Quinn’s wedding.
I’d forgotten all about her. It just proved to me how much Avery had taken over my thoughts. Even though Avery hadn’t responded to my text, at least I made her think of me again. And that was one small step in the right direction.
Alyssa’s text said: You free tonight?
Sorry. I’m actually seeing someone.
My phone started ringing seconds later.
“Are you serious?” Alyssa asked when I answered.
I chuckled. “Yes.”
“When did this happen?”
“It’s recent. But it’s someone I’ve known awhile and it got serious fast.”
“Grant Carpenter is in a serious relationship? Stop the presses.”
“Shocked the shit out of me, too. Believe me.”
“Who is the lucky girl?”
“You wouldn’t know her,” I said. I didn’t know who Alyssa did or didn’t know, but the last I’d heard from Avery, our relationship was still under wraps.
“If you ever get sick of her, you know where to find me.”
“That I do. Thanks, Alyssa.”
“I have to admit, there was a time when I wanted it to be me.”
What does a guy say to something like that? I didn’t respond. Luckily, she filled the quiet space in our conversation.
“But I guess it just wasn’t in the cards for us. You deserve happiness, Grant, and I hope you get it.”
“I hope you do, too.” This conversation had taken a turn for the serious with a girl I’d fucked once. Well, for one day.
Okay, fine.
Three times in one day.
We said our goodbyes, and there went one number to delete from the little black book. I glanced at the clock. I still had lots of time to kill, so I logged onto my work email. I had a new one from my boss.
To: Grant Carpenter
From: Austin Williams
Subject: Vacation Winner
Sent 3 Hours Ago
Grant,
Your name was drawn in this month’s giveaway. You won a two night staycation at the Westin La Paloma Resort in Tucson. I’ve CCed Deb on this email; she will set you up with the details. The room is already booked for this Friday and Saturday night. You’ve been approved for half day vacation on Friday, and you will be given a Visa gift card in the amount of $150. If you can’t go this weekend, please let Deb know immediately so she can arrange an alternate winner.
Congratulations, and have a great trip.
AW
At least that was one spot of good news in an otherwise fairly shitty weekend. If I could get Avery to talk to me, I could take her with me to Tucson. We could figure things out there.
I emailed Deb, our secretary, right away to let her know I was free to go. My boss had an agreement with the Westin, and they donated free weekend getaways to our office frequently.
I’d figure out the rest of the details later. I emailed Austin, too, to thank him for the trip, and then I looked up the resort. It featured a killer pool, a spa, and plenty to do in the area.
I was all in.
I’d wasted almost an hour, so I decided to head over to Strikers.
I walked in and immediately felt old.
Hell, I was old. Certainly too old to be hanging out in bars by myself.
Or was it old men who hung out in bars alone? Had I become an old man?
I was only thirty-two, but I’d been hanging out in bars for eleven years.
Okay, thirteen if I’m being honest.
Fake IDs aren’t that hard to come by.
It was time to grow up and move on. The crowd dancing on the dance floor looked at least ten years younger than me.
Probably because they were.
Sure, the women looked good, but they were too young. We were at different places in our lives.
And besides, those women weren’t Avery.
I glanced around the place and didn’t see her, so I took a seat at the bar. The bartender stopped to flirt, but I wasn’t interested. I had picked up a few girls at this very place, bartenders included, but that part of my life seemed like it was over.
I suddenly only had eyes for one woman.
I wasn’t sure when exactly that had happened, but it had.
I ordered whiskey, and I sipped as I kept an eye toward the door. It was a quarter after ten when she walked in. She was with Reese and Jill.
She glanced around the bar, completely missing me sitting there.
I took another sip of my drink, sucking an ice cube into my mouth. I let it melt slowly on my tongue as I saw her find a table with her friends and take a seat.
I was doing my best to exercise the patience I knew I had somewhere inside, but I really just wanted to go to her table, grab her by the arm, and lead her outside, where I would kiss the fuck out of her before taking her home to bang the hell out of her.
A waitress appeared at their table, and I saw Avery order a drink. I tried not to stare, but she was gorgeous.
I still wasn’t sure how I’d never really noticed her before. I was so busy looking for nothing serious that I missed the one thing that had been right in front of me the whole time.
I couldn’t help but think about how much time we had already wasted, and now we were wasting more with this ridiculousness. Sure, I’d reacted stupidly to a text I hadn’t been expecting, but it was a little dramatic of Avery to completely ignore me and end things with me over my one indiscretion.
It had to be her fear. She was terrified of getting serious. She was scared I was going to hurt her the way she’d been hurt in the past. She’d told me about what happened to her in high school, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized her high school situation had simply been the springboard for the way she acted in her adult life. Surely there was more to her story, more to the reasons why she avoided commitment.
It was up to me to help her face her fears so she could overcome them. I would take that on, because without even trying, she’d broken me of those exact same fears.
I started with a text. Please let me explain. –G
I saw her check her text and then toss her phone back onto the table.
No response.
I polished off my glass of whiskey and slammed my glass on the counter. I signaled the
bartender to close out my tab. She gave me “the look” again, but I ignored it.
There was only one woman in that bar who I planned to take home with me, and she was currently ignoring my texts.
I headed over to their table, and Reese spotted me first.
“Hey, Grant!” she smiled. The music was pumping, so we were shouting to hear each other.
My eyes finally met hers.
She was pissed, but she was hiding it well from her friends. I’d learned how to read her pretty well in the time we’d been together.
Maybe because we’d spent nearly every waking moment together we could. And most of the sleeping moments, come to think of it.
“Hey,” I said to her, trying to play it cool in front of her friends.
She nodded and shot me a fake smile, hiding the heat in her eyes by gazing down at her drink.
“Want to sit with us?” Reese asked.
The table had four chairs, and only three were occupied. The free one was next to Avery.
“I’d love to,” I said, ignoring the daggers Avery was shooting with her eyes in my direction.
“What are you doing here?” Reese asked.
Shit. I hadn’t been prepared for questions. “A friend said she’d be coming here tonight, so I thought I’d swing by. What are you ladies doing here?”
“Avery wanted to come. She said she wanted a girls’ night out to forget about some guy.”
“I can help with that,” I said with a grin.
Reese and her friend were completely oblivious to the sexual tension dancing between Avery and me, to the heat and the emotions passing back and forth. She had no clue it was actually me who Avery wanted to go out to forget.
“Doubt it,” Avery said. Her tone was snotty, and I smirked in her direction. She rolled her eyes.
“Anybody want to dance?” she asked her friends.
“I’m in,” I announced, grabbing her hand and pulling her up with me before Reese and Jill had a chance to join us.
“What are you doing?” she yelled at me over the music.
“What does it look like?”
“It looks like a desperate and misguided attempt to win me back.”
We arrived at the dance floor, and I grabbed her around the waist. “Desperate, yes. Misguided? I don’t think so.” I pulled her closer.
“Get over yourself.” We were close enough that I could feel her breath against my lips.
“It’s not me I’m stuck on, Avery.” I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to slam my mouth against hers and show her through my actions how I felt about her.
But we were in public, and no one was supposed to know about us.
On the other hand, we were in public, and no one knew about us. That meant she couldn’t make too big of a scene.
“It’s you. Maybe somehow it’s always been you and I was just too blind to see it. I need to tell you about Rachelle. I need you to know what’s been going on with me, why I ran away last night. I need to tell you what I realized in the last twenty-four hours. And if you listen to me, if you hear me out and give me the chance to explain, I think we’ve got a shot. I think we could have everything, Avery.” Ironically, we were dancing to Rihanna’s “We Found Love.”
I saw her eyes start to soften.
But just because she was softening didn’t mean she wasn’t still terrified of what could happen.
“And I need you to tell me why you’re so goddamn scared to be with me.”
I saw a bolt of anger pass through those gorgeous eyes. “I’m not scared to be with you, Grant.”
“Bullshit.”
“You think you know everything there is to know about me. You don’t. I’m over it. I don’t want to be with you.”
God, I wanted to kiss her.
“Don’t fucking lie to me. Don’t stand there and pretend like you don’t want me. I know you. I know what we’re like together. I know how I feel about you. And more than that, I know how you make me feel.”
“So the sex is good. I’ve had plenty of good sex. We can’t base our entire relationship on good sex. It’s not enough.”
“That’s not what it’s based on. Not for me.”
“Then what’s it based on?”
“Can we go somewhere to talk?” I really didn’t want to confess I was in love with her in the middle of a dance floor in a bar.
She sighed. “I’m here with my friends.”
I leaned in close to her ear. “So ditch them,” I pleaded. “This is us, Ave.”
“Just go.” She struggled a bit to get out of my grasp, but I didn’t let her.
“Not without you.”
“If I promise we will talk tomorrow, will you leave me alone tonight?”
I thought about it for a minute. If I left her alone that night, she could easily go home with any one of the twenty single guys trolling the bar. And apparently she’d been known to do just that.
If I left her alone that night, she could easily back out on her promise to talk to me the next day.
It’s weird how I spent so much time avoiding relationships only to finally find someone who was so terrified to commit.
But in the month we’d been together, I knew with everything inside of me it would be worth it. I just wanted us to work things out. I wanted her. I wanted us.
It had nothing to do with the awesome sex, really. That was just an added bonus.
It had so much more to do with the way she filled a void in my life. When she was sitting on my couch, the whole room lit up in a new way. When we were at dinner, we shared conversations like those that best friends shared.
The tables had been turned. I finally admitted to myself I wanted more with her. Now I was the one who wanted more than a few great nights.
And letting her sit in a bar with her friends didn’t seem like the best way to fight for what I wanted.
“No way in hell,” I finally answered her question.
“Fine. Let’s just go.” She was irritated, but at least I’d gotten her to agree to leave with me. Once she heard me out, I was sure I’d win her back.
“Finish your drink. Make up an excuse for your friends. Take your time. I’ll wait for you in the parking lot.”
“You’re a bossy asshole sometimes.”
I grinned, because she was absolutely right.
I walked her back to her table and said goodbye to Reese and Jill, and then I headed out to the parking lot to wait in my car for the woman I loved.
Thirty minutes later, I realized it was stupid to tell her to take her time.
I checked my cell phone for about the millionth time. Still no text.
She was making me wait on purpose.
I’d made her wait the night before, and that’s what she was so mad about. Women were so goddamn difficult sometimes.
It was a damn good thing she’d be worth it.
She threw open the door and got in, folding her arms across her chest. She stared straight ahead.
“Something wrong, Peaches?” I asked, starting the car, suppressing a smile at her immaturity. It was actually kind of sexy how irritated she was with me.
She didn’t respond; she just continued to stare straight ahead.
To be fair, I did say I wanted to talk to her. I never said she had to respond.
She sighed, and I turned off the radio.
“I drove in circles last night. For hours. I didn’t respond to your text because I was afraid to check it. I was afraid of a lot of things, actually. But I’m not afraid anymore.”
A stoplight allowed me to glance over at her. I trailed my fingertips up her thigh. She still sat motionless.
“And I want to tell you everything so we can be together. I want you to be in this with me.”
She finally spoke, and her voice was hard. “What makes you so sure I’m afraid of anything?”
“Because we’re the same. I’ve been the guy who turned down the girl who wanted more. I know exactly where you are. And it took being with you to make me see th
at when something is right, it’s worth fighting for. It’s worth taking the risk and being scared shitless but doing it anyway.”
“How can you be so sure?” she whispered.
“I’ve never felt like I do when I’m with you. It’s as simple as that.”
“You like the sex, Grant. It’ll wear off.”
“That’s not true. Just like you, I’ve had plenty of good sex. There’s something different with you. Some chemical element I’ve never experienced.”
She made a grunting sound. “Please don’t throw the ‘L’ word at me.”
I chuckled at how she seemed to know exactly where I was going. But if it was a hard limit for her, I’d avoid it.
For now.
Shit, the only other woman I’d said it to had killed a piece of me. Twice.
Even though I felt it with Avery and I knew it was right with her, there was still a part of me that was terrified.
I wasn’t terrified of getting into a relationship with her, though.
I was terrified she wouldn’t give us a chance.
We sat in silence; I was lost in thought, and she was caught up in her anger. I pulled in front of her apartment.
“You took me home?”
“I wanted you to have home court advantage. You want me out? Say the word.”
“I want you out.”
“After I tell my story.”
She huffed out a sigh and rolled her eyes, and then she moved to open the car door. I stopped her with my hand on her arm. She turned and looked not at me, but at my hand.
I wanted her to look me in the eyes, to hear what I had to say, because I had a feeling I knew what she needed to hear.
“Avery, for what it’s worth, I’m sorry. It’s hard for me to admit when I’m wrong, but I was wrong. I should have called you. I should have texted so you weren’t worried. I understand that now, and I apologize.”
Her eyes finally met mine. I thought I saw a shred of understanding in them, but she didn’t reply. She got out of the car and shut the door. At least she didn’t slam it. That was an improvement.
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