Once Written, Twice Shy (The Broken Men Chronicles)

by Decevito, Carey

  “I think…I’m just going to-” she said and made a quick dash for the hallway only to stop dead in her tracks. She turned and hurried back to her luggage to drop the underwear and grabbed the shirt that sat on top of everything else. She looked down at herself and groaned. “Dammit!” She huffed and I couldn’t contain my boisterous laugh at the mortified look on her face. It earned me a snide expression.

  “I’ll just grab the few things I forgot earlier and get out of here.” I began to rummage through my closet and pulled the few items I needed and headed for the exit. “I’ll see you when you’re done.” I paused at the bedroom door before leaving her. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re hot when you’re flustered?”

  I didn’t wait for a response. A few steps down the hall, I could hear her grumbling to herself and smiled. Things were definitely far from boring with Alissa around.

  ***

  The pizza arrived while Alissa was still getting herself straightened out. I figured that she was done but that she was dealing with some residual embarrassment prior to coming downstairs to join me. In the short amount of time since her arrival, I had come to think her meek demeanor as a rather endearing quality of hers.

  I poured some wine for us after getting the plates ready, knowing that she wouldn’t be that much longer.

  I smiled as I replayed the earlier series of events in my head. Part of me wished that I had taken charge and indulged in her a little more, after that heated appraisal she had given me in the bedroom. The other part of me—the part that won out—was the gentleman.

  Like any normal hot-blooded male out there, I’d be crazy if I said I didn’t want to get laid by the woman currently holed up in my bedroom; but I didn’t want it to be forced. We had chemistry, there was no denying that, but there was something greater to lose, something akin to friendship if I rushed things and I wasn’t willing to lose that.

  The couch dipped beside me and the wine in my goblet sloshed about. “So, I guess you didn’t lie when you said you knew how to make a towel look good, huh?” she said and smirked. I eyed her amused face, surprised at her overtness.

  “I suppose I deserve that,” I said. “I’m sorry for barging in. I-”

  She placed a hand on my arm and squeezed lightly. “It’s okay. You just took me by surprise.”

  “Here,” I said and handed over her glass of wine. “About those underwear…”

  “Not going there, stud.” She blushed but her eyes betrayed her with their subtle gleam.

  I watched as she took a large gulp of the Cabernet Sauvignon. Trying to get my head back in the game had proved useless with my next statement. “For what it’s worth, those jeans look fantastic but I have to confess that my imagination is running wild with pictures of you wearing that black lace you were holding on to.”

  She laughed. “Boy, you’re a cheeky one, aren’t you?”

  I smiled, happy that our familiar playful banter from our online conversations had begun to creep into our face-to-face setting as time went on. I was starting to see more of the Alissa I had grown to know over the last ten months. Witnessing a genuine physical reaction instead of those stupid emoticon faces was a refreshing change. I was able to read her like one of her books and what I took in only made me want to be around her more.

  ***

  Alissa had only just proven her stubbornness. After a short bout of bickering, I gave in and allowed her to handle the dishes while I sat on the couch and listened to her tinker around, not at all pleased that my visitor was tidying up my premises without my aid. What was worse was that she had kicked me out of my own kitchen to tend to the tasks.

  “Damn!” She hissed and followed it with another curse.

  I walked to the kitchen. “Everything okay?”

  Alissa was standing there with a finger held up to her mouth. “It’s nothing,” she said before looking down at it, “just a cut.”

  I held out my hand. “Let me see.”

  “I wasn’t lying about the clumsiness,” she said as I examined the tiny gash.

  “I see that,” I said and she shoved my shoulder with a small smile. “Let’s get you patched up and then I’ll finish the dishes while you find something for us to watch on TV.”

  ***

  As the movie rolled on, I noticed Alissa fighting off the urge to fall asleep. I pulled her legs on top of my lap so she’d be able to stretch out and be more comfortable.

  When the credits began to roll, I turned the TV off and lifted the sleeping woman into my arms. She wrapped hers around my neck instinctively. Nuzzling against my jaw, Alissa mumbled something indiscernible while I carried her to my bedroom.

  I set her down on my bed and tried to pull back but she woke and latched onto my shirt, capturing me with those cerulean eyes of hers.

  I froze.

  “Please don’t go,” she said and pulled me down where I braced myself so I didn’t topple over and crush her.

  Butterflies fluttered about in my stomach. “Are you sure?” She bit down on her lower lip. I wanted to bite down on it for her. She had no clue how that innocent action of hers had been driving me crazy since her arrival.

  I felt her fingers around the belt loops to my jeans, forcing me lower.

  Her lips brushed against mine as she said, “This is your house, it’s a big bed and you’re not sleeping on the couch.”

  I played with her hair and studied her. “It’s not so bad.”

  “Pax?” Her eyes played between my eyes and mouth.

  “Hmm?” I leaned toward her.

  “Kiss-” I never let her finish, knowing that we both wanted the same thing.

  She ran her hands from my belt loops to around my hips and under my shirt. The feather-like contact as her fingers traced about my lower back, heated my flesh. She nibbled on my lip; her soft tongue met mine as we sought closeness. She tasted sweet and I wondered what the rest of her would taste like or if I’d be lucky enough to find out. Something told me that I was well on my way.

  I let my hand wander from her side down to her hip. Her leg folded up at the knee, allowing me better access to her butt. She moaned into my mouth when I squeezed her jean-clad cheek. I kissed the length of her jaw, down to the side of her neck, up to her ear.

  “You have no idea how much I want you right now,” I said. Her body trembled.

  I nipped her lobe, eliciting a whimper from her as her hands came free of my shirt and made their way to my hair. I felt the prickling of my scalp followed by a rush of arousal as she pulled.

  My pants tightened further. If she had any question as to how much she turned me on, the vixen that lay beneath me had a feasible answer as I pressed my lower half into hers.

  Alissa rolled us over and straddled my waist with a wry grin. “If you want something, Paxton, you’ve got to take it.” She grabbed onto the hem of my shirt. “We need to get rid of this.”

  A finger ran up the middle of my stomach, starting at the waist of my jeans, circling my navel. The digit changed to an open palm which rubbed my chest as she leaned forward to bring her lips inches from mine.

  It all felt like a scene from one of her books although she had confessed that most of what she’d written about she’d never experienced first-hand; only fantasies. If given the opportunity, I’d make sure she was well-acquainted with some of those fantasies of hers but that’s just me.

  I reveled in all things Alissa. The woman was a temptress, a master at seduction and she behaved as if she had no clue to her prowess. That hot and moist tongue of hers, mixed with her nips and the series of open-mouthed kisses down my torso was wreaking havoc on my senses. An internal fight broke out between my urge to flip her over and exacting my sensual revenge and that of staying put to see where she was going to end up next.

  Reduced to breathlessness, I said, “Babes?”

  Her fingers toyed with the button at the top of my jeans. Her mouth latched onto one of my nipples, flicking that wicked tongue of hers over the hardened disk. “Hmm?” The
vibrations sent electrical currents throughout my body.

  She leaned up to kiss my mouth. I felt her smile against my lips and saw the crinkling at her eyes when the button snapped out of its eyelet.

  In that moment, something snapped in me also.

  I flipped us over, grabbed her hands and pinned them above her head. She was secured with one hand while the other roamed free to find the exposed flesh around her stomach from her shirt riding up.

  “Too many layers.” I grunted my disapproval.

  She helped me with stripping her shirt. Discarded to the floor much like mine had been, I looked upon her as her blonde hair draped over my pillow, garnishing her head as if it were a halo. She looked delicious and I was desperate to taste more of her.

  “So soft,” I said against the middle of her stomach while depositing soft kisses on my way up to those lace-covered mounds of hers.

  I slid my hand underneath the band and took a breast in my hand, pinching its nipple and rolling it. She gasped and arched toward me.

  Junior swelled to desperation in my jeans and I knew I’d have to at least unzip myself to allow for a bit of breathing room, and soon.

  I pulled myself off of her and kneeled between her legs. Her face was flushed, her breathing was labored and her eyes, oh those eyes; they were the brightest deep blue I had ever seen. She was lusting hard.

  My hands reached for her fly and button. She tilted her hips up in permission and I pulled her denims off.

  Damn! I never found the tiny black lacy underwear that I had seen her clutch earlier. The pair she wore was black and matched her bra but they were boy-cut shorts that allowed her cheeks to peek through the bottom; definitely not a complete disappointment. I grunted my approval at the sight of the garment, as well as her slender, toned legs, looking forward to the time they would be wrapped around me. Amusement could be seen all over her face as she observed me taking her in.

  “You look like a kid who’s visiting an amusement park for the first time.” Her voice had turned husky. “Your turn, take off those pants.”

  “Aye! Aye!” I mock saluted, gaining me a giggle.

  I stood to the side of the bed and dropped trou.

  She knelt on the edge of the mattress. Her palms burned the skin on my chest the moment they made contact. Our eyes met and all playfulness, all mischievousness, all emotions were absent. All but one—vulnerability.

  In that moment, I saw the troubles of her past relationships she had confided in me about. She knew of my hang-ups as much as I knew about hers. I’ll be honest. She’d been the one to make me see that there was more to life than just existing; that there was someone out there that was better suited for me than Julie had ever been.

  Julie. Talk about a proverbial bucket of iced water.

  I need to tell her.

  Here she was, single, hot and ready and even though she knew of my separation, I felt like a cheat.

  A moron.

  A liar.

  Yeah, definitely a lying cheat of a moron.

  Chapter 3

  “I can’t do this,” I said and took a step back, my gaze averted.

  Her hands froze and she slumped back to sit on her knees. “Why?” The look of complete confusion mixed with rejection and disappointment on her face just about did me in.

  What had I done?

  I dropped to my knees in front of her and grabbed her hands before she could move away from me.

  I sighed. “Let me explain.” She stayed silent and unmoving. “Promise me you won’t leave until you’ve heard me out.” She gave me a hesitant nod. “Allie, there’s something I need to talk to you about before anything can happen here.”

  She pulled her hands away and covered her mouth. “Oh, God,” she said, “you still love her, don’t you?”

  “What? Alissa, no!”

  “Oh,” she said and looked down at her clasped hands, “then what is it?”

  “No matter how I try to word it in my head, it never comes out right,” I said as I rubbed my face with both hands.

  “Pax, you’re making me nervous here.”

  And I’m a world class jackass. “I’m still married,” I blurted and I took her silence as a vantage point. “I mean, we’re not together in any sense of the word-”

  “Except for the legal sense,” she snickered dryly and crossed her arms over her chest. Okay, so sarcasm was warranted and so was her defensive posture. “Pax, why would you let me think that you were divorced? You said-”

  “I didn’t. Well, I guess I did but not deliberately. I never thought that this,” I pointed between her and me, “would ever happen. Truth is I should be divorced by now.”

  “But it is happening, Paxton.” She sighed. “Were you ever going to tell me if we hadn’t gone this far? What else is there, why would you think you’d be divorced, why aren’t you?”

  “I planned on telling you when everything was finalized,” I said. “A few months after our separation, I filed the papers. That was the day you learned about the divorce. I didn’t think there’d be an issue, I mean, Julie had a boyfriend and it seemed pretty cut and dry. You would think-”

  “That still doesn’t explain why you’re still married to her though, does it?” Her tone had taken an accusatory edge. She was pissed and rightly so.

  “I’m not the one who’s refusing to sign,” I said. “My parts been done, the day the papers were done up, I swear, Allie.”

  “So it’s her?” I nodded. “Why?”

  “Julie can be a vindictive woman. Whenever I’ve asked her about the papers, there’s always a different reason, reasons that don’t make sense to me,” I said. “What’s worse is that she likes to use Jasper as a bargaining chip. I don’t want to lose my son, Alissa. It’s why I haven’t bullied her into signing the papers.”

  It was the truth.

  For Jasper’s sake, we’d been trying to keep things amicable where our split was concerned. I see Jasper every other week with our shared custodial rights. He had more than enough to adjust to with his parents living in separate households that he shouldn’t be aware of the animosity between us.

  And then there was Todd, my ex’s beau—note the sarcasm. Am I jealous? Hell no! I just don’t want my son’s mother to be shacking up with every Tom, Dick and Harry out there, leaving poor Jasper wondering where he fit in with this new family dynamic.

  “Sounds to me like she wants it all,” she said hotly. I nodded and got up to sit on the bed beside her. “I’m sorry,” she said.

  I had told her everything, risking the possibility of losing it all where she and I were concerned and that included our friendship and there she was apologizing? “I’m the one who’s sorry,” I said, “I should have said something before now. I understand if-”

  “Do you think she ever will…sign I mean?” she asked.

  “I don’t know, but this is the first time where I think I’d be better off forcing it through lawyers and a judge.”

  ***

  Silence—the ominous lack of sound that made me ache to know what she was thinking. I knew I hadn’t earned the right to ask. She should have gotten up, got dressed, and headed for the nearest hotel and I wouldn’t have blamed her one bit. Instead, a warm hand grasped mine and squeezed. Alissa was far more forgiving than I had ever anticipated.

  My heart sunk when she did get up, however, she didn’t go far; only turned to stand facing me. I looked up at her, seeing the concern in her eyes. I knew that I had hurt her yet there she remained.

  “Is that all, there’s nothing more?” I shook my head, indicating the negative. “Good.” Her hands cupped my cheeks and she bent so her face was breath away from mine. “Now kiss me.”

  Her kiss was hard and demanding, almost punishing in nature. She moaned into my mouth when I returned her passion. My hand reached up and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “Are you okay with this?” I asked. “I’m sorry, I really fucked this up…we don’t-”

  “I’m fine, Pax,” she said. “I
think we asked for something like this to happen. I could have asked how the process was going just as often as you could have volunteered the information yourself.”

  “Yeah well, I should have. This internet friendship thing is all new to me. I guess we got so busy talking about everything else that we missed the boat on a few things, huh?” I sighed.

  “I agree, but…”

  I pulled her closer so the side of my face rested against her bare stomach, just below those luscious mounds of hers. “But?”

  Her hands braced themselves on my shoulders. In a few seconds, she was straddling my lap. “There’s one thing that can’t get miscommunicated, though,” she said.

  I smirked. “And what’s that?”

  “Well, if you can’t figure it out…” she said and ground her hips in a suggestive manner and jumped off of me.

  I jumped to my feet, grabbed her wrist pulled her hard until she crashed into my body. I couldn’t help myself. I palmed and squeezed that firm apple bottom like it had been begging me to. Rubbing up her back, my hand fisted her hair and tugged, opening her neck to my ministrations.

  “That little grinding thing you did just got you into a world of trouble,” I said against the soft skin of her throat, rubbing my hips against hers. “Is this what you want?” I nipped at her lobe. She whimpered and her body quivered in my grasp. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

  Her mouth collided with mine and my hands fell to release the catch on her bra. The feel of her bare ample chest against mine made my shaft pulse with more need than earlier. She jumped up and wrapped her legs around my waist and I turned us toward the bed. I tried to be gentle as I laid her down beneath me but having a woman hang on to you like a spider monkey can cause a shift in a guy’s balance. To continue in the day’s awkward fashion, we tumbled and I landed over her with a grunt as our sexes crushed together over our underwear while Alissa giggled at the turn of events.