Once Written, Twice Shy (The Broken Men Chronicles)

by Decevito, Carey

  I’m glad you enjoyed the new piece. I had it sitting on my laptop and after I got back, I felt inspired to finish and post it.

  I’ve received all of your messages and I would have replied but somehow, it didn’t seem right to do over email. After being in the same room with you, emails almost feel too impersonal.

  So today’s the day, huh? Good luck, sweetie. I’ll be home tonight, please call me. I miss your voice and I want to hear all about how it went. I have a sneaking suspicion that emails will fade and long distance phone bills will sky-rocket but as I’ve said before, you’re worth it.

  Yours with hugs and kisses,

  Alissa

  I couldn’t believe that I had thought her message would have been one filled with anything negative.

  After what seemed like minutes of staring at my computer screen with a goofy smile, I turned off the contraption and got up to leave. The fate of my dilapidated marriage hung in the balance and I hoped to walk away a free man when all was said and done. Would today be the day or would I be spending the remainder of my week in and out of that judge’s office?

  ***

  We returned from a brief lunch break and sat down alongside our legal counsels in the judge’s chambers. The room hung in silence as we waited for the man to speak.

  “I’ve listened to both parties and based on the facts before me, I have no choice but to side with Mr. Lowell,” the man said.

  “But, your Honor,” Julie said, “I-”

  The man held up his hand, ceasing her speech. “Before you continue on protesting my decision, I will let you know that I am not pleased with your latest conduct. This isn’t my first rodeo and I cannot allow a failed marriage, by your hand, Mrs. Lowell, to remain intact because of spite. Your case has no validity whatsoever and I have no choice but to rule your marriage as null and void.” He looked at my soon-to-be ex-wife, pinning her down with a disapproving parental-like gaze. “I suggest that you continue on with the lives you’ve been living and the custodial rights will remain unchanged,” he said, “however, what I don’t want to see is you two back in here for something as petty as withholding a child from his parent.” He arched his brow at Julie, making it known that he knew of her former threats. “Children are not pawns, Mrs. Lowell, don’t make me regret my decision on equal parental rights.”

  “But-” Julie said.

  Her legal representative hushed her with a pat on the hand. The judge ignored her whiny plea and pushed papers in front of us. “These need your signatures. Once they’re complete, your marriage will be legally dissolved,” he said.

  I watched like a hawk as Julie accepted the pen with somber resolve from her lawyer and signed on the dotted lines. It shouldn’t have been that difficult in the first place but it was official, I was a single man by the time the judge had put ink to paper with his final signature and stamped it with his official seal.

  ***

  Jake walked with me to my car.

  “How ‘bout a beer,” he said, “it’s been a while.”

  “Sure has.”

  “Dude, you’re divorced, it’s time to get you back on the market,” Jake said and slapped my back, grinning.

  “Don’t think so, buddy,” I said.

  “Who’s this chick that Julie was ranting about in the hall when we walked in, anyway?”

  “Long story,” I said.

  Three hours and a couple of beers later, I had filled Jake in on what had been going on in my life. As per usual, the guy sat, listened and advised all the while scoping out the scene at Fairfax, the pub we were at.

  Feeling like I had purged more than enough, I said, “So, when are you planning on settling down?”

  “As soon as divorce stops making me a wealthy man,” he said. We laughed at his statement but after some of what he’d been through, I understood his skepticism.

  “You’re welcome, old habits die hard, huh?” Jake’s gaze had locked on a red-head that sat at the bar.

  “The least I could do for being the one to introduce you both,” he said and turned his full attention back on me. “What a head-case she turned out to be, sorry man.”

  “Not like you knew,” I said.

  “Yeah…about that chick,” he said to push the subject of Alissa further, “let’s hear it.”

  ***

  She’s got you hooked…You’ve got it bad.

  Those lines played over and over in my mind. I wasn’t going to deny it. I knew it to be true. She had me hook, line and sinker after five days spent with her.

  With my divorce being official, I was free to do with my life as I saw fit and it felt amazing. That’s when Jasper entered my mind. I knew that Julie couldn’t hold him from me…not without landing in court again. But I had little faith that she wouldn’t try to cause trouble if I were to start something up with Alissa and that was disconcerting.

  Who am I kidding? It’s already started.

  I saw the notice from the postman—a parcel.

  Must be a gift for the kid. I figured I’d pick it up tomorrow as I pealed the sticker off my door-knocker.

  When I walked through the threshold, the flashing light on my house phone beckoned me. I checked my messages.

  You’ve got to be kidding me. I grumbled. A proverbial fire at the office needed my immediate attention. After all, manuscripts don’t edit themselves and a man has got to work for a living.

  Chapter 12

  The rest of the week went by without a hitch. I had spoken to Alissa every night since my divorce had become official. My heart broke to deliver the news that Jasper’s wish to have Alissa around for his birthday wasn’t going to be realized.

  “Is it because she doesn’t miss me?” The sight of his quivering bottom lip and tear-glossed eyes broke my heart.

  “No, son,” I said, “but she did say she wanted to talk to you. What do you say we get together on Skype on Sunday, I think she’s been waiting all this time to cook her pancakes with you again and it’s kind of like seeing her, only she’s on the computer.”

  Jasper beamed and said, “Really?”

  “Really,” I said, “and in the meantime…”

  ***

  On Sunday, before I brought Jasper back to his mother, we logged on and I set up the laptop on the kitchen table. Needless to say, I ended up doing everything since Jasper was stuck in front of the computer talking away about all the neat things he had received for his birthday.

  I imagine you’re wondering what that parcel had been, huh? Well, Alissa had remembered Jasper talking about his birthday and so she had sent him a little something. I think it meant more to me than it did to him but I’d never let him know that since he was over the moon about his unexpected surprise.

  The woman had taken off with the memory card from my camera and had made Jasper an album of him and me. I had allowed the kid to open the gift before his birthday in an attempt to console him when I announced that Alissa couldn’t be around. Since then, he had refused any kind of bedtime story and had demanded to look at the photo book instead. She had topped the gift off with the photo of her and him and their ice creams and a Happy Birthday, handsome note on the back of it.

  “That was yummy, Allie,” Jasper said.

  “I think you’ve got Daddy to thank on your end, buddy,” she said and giggled. “He did all the work.”

  “I miss you,” Jasper and I said together.

  “I miss you both too,” she said and sighed.

  “I’ll see you online later?”

  “You bet ya.”

  ***

  Last night, my ex-wife called, requesting for me to stop by her place after work the following day.

  Monday, as manic as it usually was, had come and gone and before I knew it, I stood on Julie’s front step.

  “Hey, Todd,” I said when the door swung open.

  “Come in.” He moved to the side.

  “Julie wanted to speak to me about something?”

  “Actually, I got her to call you up and g
et you to come by,” he said. “I didn’t think you’d show if she told you that I was the one who wanted to talk to you.”

  I eyed him. What the hell could he want to talk to me about? And then it clicked. I cleared my throat. “You want to marry her, don’t you?” I stated, more than wondered aloud.

  He nodded. “How’d you know?”

  “It’s kind of self-explanatory, don’t you think? You two live together, you’ve been and item since she left me, she’s having your kid and she’s finally divorced,” I listed out. A person had to be quite dense not to see that one coming.

  “Yeah, well,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. This was getting awkward by the second, “I was wondering if-”

  “Whoa!” I held my hand up. “You don’t need my permission.”

  “I just-”

  “She’s all yours, Todd,” I said. “My only concern is Jasper. If my son’s happy, I’m happy, got it?”

  The man nodded. “Thanks.”

  I turned to leave and paused as I looked at him from the front door. I gave him a curt nod and left. He was an alright guy but from personal experience, I hoped he was as self-involved as my ex and had a large pile of money hidden for a nanny or else their child would suffer and so would he if she treated him like she did me.

  Not my problem, I reminded myself as I got in my car and drove off. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. How fucked up was that?

  ***

  The following month had been spent with me getting back into the swing of things. Things had gotten busy and putting in time with my latest writing venture had become scarce since I was now bringing work home at the end of each day. I was lucky to sit down for an hour and banter back and forth with Alissa. I preferred doing that over my writing.

  Tonight, Alissa hadn’t seemed all that talkative during our online chat. She was withdrawn what with her dejected, delayed, and short responses.

  Without hesitation, I rang her. It had been a week since we had spoken over the phone and I needed to hear her say that everything was okay, to hear the certainty in her voice.

  “Hello?”

  “You sound tired, honey,” I said.

  “Pax,” she said and seemed to cheer up right away what with the energy that her one word encompassed, “I wasn’t expecting you to call.”

  “I missed your voice,” I said, “and I had a feeling that things were a little rough.”

  “I miss you too.” She sighed. “Work’s been crazy but that’s nothing new.”

  I know how that is. “Any plans for the weekend?”

  “Aside from a few errands, not really,” she said, “I planned on restocking my empty fridge and relaxing, nothing really thrilling but definitely something I need.”

  I laughed. “I wish I was there to do just that with you,” I said.

  “Mmm…that would be nice,” she said with so much longing that I smiled.

  We talked about Jasper, my work, my writing, and then came the dreaded goodnight. As time went on, each telephone conversation was getting harder and harder to hang up on.

  “Pancake date on Skype this Sunday?” I asked.

  “You bet,” she said.

  “Goodnight, sweetie.”

  “Sweet dreams.”

  ***

  It was Friday and I sat at my desk, having my morning coffee as I stared at my computer screen. I hadn’t slept much last night. Getting a call from Julie asking me if I was okay with her and Todd taking Jasper on an impromptu weekend getaway had left me feeling lost with what to do with myself seeing as it had been my weekend with our son. Still, my lack of sleep had more to do with last night’s conversation with Alissa. I felt like there was something more than work taking its toll on her. Every day, chatting, emailing, calling, or Skype-ing wasn’t doing much to fill the void of her absence and keeping me happy. I missed her, I needed her…with me and I was just as certain that she felt the same way. And so, I did what I had to…

  Chapter 13

  I rushed off the elevators to get to the reception desk. The woman who sat there looked like she was barely out of her teens. She bit onto a manicured nail as she spoke into her head-set. Giving me a smile when she noticed me standing there, her eyes scanned me from top to bottom while she finished with her business.

  “Can I help you, sir?” she asked with a quick lick of her bright red lips. Subtlety wasn’t quite her forte that much was evident.

  “I’m looking for Ms. Hidgins,” I said, “can you tell me if she’s here or if she’s left for the day?” I hadn’t even thought on what I would do if she wasn’t in her office. My efforts could have been pointless for all intents and purposes.

  Her smile faltered but remained slight. “Let me see.” She typed a few beats on the keyboard and dialled what must have been an extension. I stepped back, pacing the runner that was by the front of the desk as I chastised myself for not thinking my plan through. I wasn’t the most spontaneous of men.

  “Sir?”

  My feet came to a dead stop and I turned to face her. “Yes?”

  “She’s in a meeting but I can show you to her office.”

  I nodded. “That would be great.”

  “Follow me.” With an exaggerated sway to her hips, she led me to Ms. Hidgins’ office. “Let me know if you need anything at all while you wait, the name’s Lindsay.” When I didn’t make a move to shake her hand, she tried to pat my upper arm and I took a step back, hoping I didn’t look too repulsed but she needed to know that I held no interest in her less-than-subtle advance.

  “He’ll be just fine in my capable hands, Lindsay,” Hidgins’ assistant said as she remained seated behind her desk giving me a sympathetic look.

  “Thanks,” I said to Lindsay’s back as the young woman walked away, clearly miffed at the middle-aged assistant that had dismissed her.

  “My apologies about her,” she said, “can I get you something while you wait?”

  Catherine, the assistant, had brought me a glass of water and a magazine before closing the door to the office. I waited, taking a glimpse around the workspace. There were a few photo frames of what looked like her and maybe a sister…no, some girlfriend as I remembered her saying that she’d been an only child as well as a few others. She had added her very own personal flair to the place with modern artwork and furniture along with other decorative accents.

  “Thank you, Catherine, have a good…” She turned and the words left her for a moment, “night. Holy shit!” She covered her mouth.

  There, standing frozen in place was a very business-like charcoal dressed Alissa.

  I grinned. “Hi.”

  As her shock wore off, she graced me with one of her best blushes, topped with one of her trademark shy smiles.

  “Damn, I missed that look,” I said gruffly.

  She giggled. “What are you doing here, you are here, right, please tell me it’s not my imagination?”

  “No, I’m really here.” I laughed. “I had to see you.”

  She still hadn’t moved so I took the few steps and remembered that we had an audience in the form of Catherine who was smiling and nodded her approval at me.

  I winked at the woman, shut the door and wrapped a hand around Alissa’s waist. I cradled the back of her head with the other and leaned in. She met me halfway for a tender kiss that neither of us was in a hurry to break.

  “I hope you’re okay with me hopping on a plane and just showing up,” I said over her lips and backed to peck her forehead. “I mean, you did say you didn’t have much to do over the weekend.” I grinned.

  “If I had anything on the agenda, I’d be clearing it, Mr. Presumptuous.” She giggled before wrapping her arms around my neck and hugging me as a peaceful sigh made its way out from her when she snuggled into my chest, “you’re a sight for sore eyes, Paxton Lowell.”

  I breathed in her distinct scent mixed with her light perfume. My arms squeezed her closer. “God, I’ve missed this,” I said in her ear before kissing the side of her
head.

  “Me too.”

  ***

  Her apartment was much like her office: clean, organized and modern in feel with crisp lines. We had stopped at the grocery store to grab some food, thanks to Alissa’s insistence that she cook me a real meal. I had agreed as long as she’d let me help her.

  I noticed the picture of her and Jasper on one of the French doors as I began to stock the fridge with the perishables. I smiled at it and gazed at her from the corner of my eye. She looked peaceful, content and the smile on her face still hadn’t faded since I’d kissed her senseless in her office. It amazed me that I was the one responsible for putting that smile there and I’d be damned if I’d see it falter in my presence.

  I leaned on the counter to watch her cut up the vegetables for a stir-fry. We had music on in the background and I could hear her humming away to Breaking Benjamin’s acoustic version of Without You.

  Suffice it to say, instead of helping her out, I was on a one-man mission—one to quench an urge I had been left with since the last time we had seen each other.

  I snuck up behind her, brushed her silky tresses off to one side and held on to her hips as I kissed the crook of her neck. A low rumbled emerged from her throat when I nuzzled the soft skin below her ear.

  “Pax,” she said, dropping her knife onto the cutting board and braced her hands on the counter’s edge.

  “Keep your hands there,” I whispered.

  She leaned her head back onto my shoulder while my hands went to work on the buttons at the top of her blouse, trailing my fingers on the swell of her breasts as I continued my downward assault.

  “Pax.”

  Her breathing had hitched and the pinkish coloring to her cheeks gave her a glowing appearance.

  “What is it?” I sucked her ear lobe into my mouth, she groaned.

  “I…” she said, “we should-”

  I pinched her nipples through her thin bra and smirked into her neck when she yipped at the pleasurable sting.

  “Tell me,” I said in a husky voice.

  Her body felt hot to the touch, as if an inferno had begun and I wanted nothing more than to fan those flames until she was out of control.