“Ah, but it indirectly has something to do with you both so I guess you really did manage to put it there,” she said as I followed her out to the living room where my parents waited.
“Really?” I asked. “I wouldn’t mind knowing what we’ve done considering I don’t recall doing anything for that kind of a reaction. Or are you still riding on that high from last night?”
“Oh, I’m ready for the boost, baby, but as for your other answer, you’ll know in time,” she said and winked at me as she set the two beverages in front of my parents.
***
My father and I sat there for the better part of an hour as we watched the two women interact as if they were age old friends. If I were being honest, I wasn’t terrified at all for Mom and Dad to meet Alissa. I found myself wondering why I had waited so long. If she were similar to Julie’s character, I knew I would have been facing an uphill battle but then again, had she been like Julie, I wouldn’t have been with her. It’s not that Julie is a bad person; it’s just that she was all wrong for me.
And then the conversation floated to Jasper and his deteriorating health. Dad had to console Mom when I gave them the day’s bad news. “We’ll get tested,” my father said without hesitation, Mom nodded and I found myself reaching for Alissa’s hand. She squeezed it tight.
Submersed in our sombre thoughts, the phone rang.
“Mr. Lowell?” the woman asked when I answered.
“This is.”
“This is Doctor Messing’s office calling.”
“Yes.”
“We’re calling because it appears that we’ve found a match,” she said and for the second time that day, I lost my footing as my ass hit the arm-rest of the sofa. Alissa grabbed on to my free arm and put a hand on my knee to balance me out.
“How’s that possible? We haven’t told anyone about today’s outcome and Messing’s told us that it would take a considerable amount of time for Jasper to climb up the recipient list?” I asked. Could this be real or was this a huge mistake?
“Well, what can I say? We do have a match here who’s been tested specifically for your son’s case. We’d like to get started with Jasper’s pre-op consultation. How does next Wednesday morning sound?”
“Thank you. We’ll be there,” I said and cleared the ever growing lump in my throat. “What time?”
“Ten o’clock, sir,” she said.
“Thank you,” I said again.
I hadn’t realized the room had grown silent as everyone’s attention was focused on me. I put down the receiver and looked around at the three concerned faces. “Pax,” Alissa said, “sweetie?” I hadn’t responded but the movement of her hand on my thigh snapped me back to the present and I blankly stared at her.
“They’ve found a donor,” I said, sounding detached and then I repeated that statement to myself a few times as reality sunk in. “They’ve found a donor!” I laughed and got up, grabbed Alissa and pulled her in for a tight hug while I spun her around. She giggled into my neck.
“But how?” my father asked and I stopped our spinning.
I shook my head and ran a hand through my hair, still trying to make sense of it all. “I don’t know. Someone came in and got tested and they’re a match,” I said.
I found myself hoping that there’d be a way to thank this potential life saver in person for the sacrifice they were making. If Jasper survived, I wanted them to know the face of the person they had saved. I wanted my son to know his hero. This person had no clue as to the difference they were making in my life. I now understood the hope that Alissa had been holding on to. Someone out there was selfless enough to give a stranger a new lease on life.
My mother rushed over to me the minute I let go of Alissa and I found myself cuddled in the tiny woman’s arms as she cradled me to her. “Oh, Mama,” I said and the tears of relief hit and I felt another set of arms, large ones, engulf the two of us, knowing that it was my father.
After what felt like a short eternity of being sandwiched between my parents, my reeling emotions stabilized and we pulled away from one another. I looked over to Alissa who giggled with a bright smile while she wiped her tears away.
***
Mom and Dad left before dinner, despite inviting them to stay. Alissa had made her way to the kitchen and could be heard chopping away at whatever food she was preparing. I headed in there to join her. A glass of wine waited for me at the breakfast bar. She looked up and smiled at me as she continued with what looked like a garden salad and extra veggies that she had left to the side. Judging by the wok on the stovetop, she was planning a stir-fry. “Need any help, gorgeous?”
“It depends,” she said, “do you plan on helping out or helping yourself?” She smirked and I couldn’t help but laugh remembering the last time she had attempted a stir-fry in my presence.
“How ‘bout I help you and then we help ourselves?” I asked in an amused tone. I came around and took the knife from her hand while kissing the side of her neck. I caught her biting down on her lower lip again and felt the silent purr in her throat through my lips. I smiled against her skin and nuzzled her cheek.
We managed to get through dinner and Alissa seemed quiet; a little more than usual throughout the evening.
When we made it to bed, I kissed her head as she cuddled into my side and asked, “Is everything okay?”
“Perfect. Why?” She followed with that sweet smile of hers.
“You just seem like your mind is somewhere else,” I said.
“Wednesday’s going to be a big day,” she said. “I hope this works, Pax.”
“Me too.”
Chapter 21
Wednesday came around quick.
Alissa wasn’t able to come along with us but I had voiced my understanding that her new job needed her and that I would keep her updated on the day’s progress as it went on. With a few tears and a supportive smile from her, I sent her off at eight thirty.
We arrived at the hospital half an hour early. I asked Julie if she had any idea how the hell we’d managed to get a donor so quickly and one who knew about our case at that. She confessed that she hadn’t even spoken to her parents, friends or other family members about our appointment when her phone had rung with the great news.
Doctor Messing came in with a smile on his face. “How’s everyone doing this morning?”
“Pretty great,” I said and shook his hand. “I still can’t wrap my head around it.” I shook my head in amazement.
“I can imagine. Hell, I don’t think we’ve had this quick of a turnaround by using the stem cell database to be honest with you,” he said. “You truly have an angel looking out for that son of yours.”
“That we do,” I said and smiled at Jasper who was busy playing with a few of his toy cars in his hospital bed. He hadn’t come back home after his bout with pneumonia. Doctor Messing thought it prudent to keep him in a more sterile environment so complications were less likely whenever the time arose for his marrow transplant. The man had stated that the sooner we were able to go through with the procedure, the greater the likelihood for success. I wasn’t about to mess with that.
“I do have one question for the lot of you before we get to the business at hand,” Messing said. “Normally we try and keep things confidential until the procedure is finalized and the necessary paperwork is filed but the donor has requested to meet with the recipient and his family beforehand.”
“What should we do?” Julie asked me.
“It’s a little unorthodox and not exactly protocol and I understand if you would rather wait until after the procedure is done but I figured I’d put it out there since it came as a personal request from the donor and in this case, I’ve chosen to bend the rules if you’re interested,” he said.
“I think I’d be okay with that,” I said and Julie nodded her assent. “Jasper,” my boy looked up at me, “would you like to meet your hero now instead of later?”
“You mean the one that’ll make me all better?” he
asked.
“That’s right,” I said. He nodded with vigour and I looked at Julie who nodded her approval. “Let’s do this,” I said as I turned to look at Messing.
The man escorted us down a maze of halls and stopped outside the door to the room we were meant to walk through.
“Are you ready?” he asked.
“Let’s do this,” Jasper copied my earlier statement and Julie, Todd and I nodded.
“I’ll let them know that you’ve agreed,” he said and left us to wait in the hall.
After a few minutes, he came back out and gestured for us to go ahead.
Hand-in-hand, Julie, Jasper and I walked on as a family unit with Todd and Messing bringing up the rear. I first saw the linen covered feet as the curtain was half-drawn. The smell of disinfectant assaulted my nostrils and the low and steady beeping emanating from a heart monitor was going strong. I could hear the rhythmic ticking of an IV drip and my feet continued their progress.
“Hi.” I was met with as I peered around the curtain and was greeted with the warmest smile.
Everything began to spin.
***
I no longer knew up from down as my knees threatened to give out from under me. My eyes registered one thing, my head another and before long, so did my heart. I felt fear, shame, pride, elation amongst many other reeling emotions.
“You,” Julie said, “it’s you?”
I registered the anger in her voice. My ex was livid and if smoke could physiologically manifest itself from her ears she’d be a dead ringer as a steam train. Myself, I was confused as all get out.
“Julie, I can explain everything,” the patient in the bed said.
“Allie!” Jasper said far more enthusiastic than his mother clearly felt and took a running leap toward the hospital bed only to be stopped by Julie.
“Alissa,” I managed. She said she had to head in to work. I saw her dressed and ready with my own two eyes. I saw her off with a kiss…her tears…what is she doing lying in that hospital bed? As I pondered, a short answer formulated itself. I knew why.
“Pax…Jasper…Julie?” Alissa said and her eyes stayed locked on Julie’s face. I turned to look at what Alissa was being faced with seeing as Julie had yet to say anything and from experience, silence was about as bad as her coming to blows with my ex’s words. “Let me explain.”
Julie kept hold of Jasper’s shoulders and tapped her foot. “Please,” Julie said, impatient and clearly vexed.
My gaze trained itself on Alissa who had wires and tubes dangling from her left arm. She was prepped and ready to go. Before long, it was going to be Jasper’s turn; speaking of which, the little monster had managed to free himself from his mother, climbed up onto the bed and now sat on Alissa’s lap.
“I thought Daddy said we were meeting my hero,” Jasper said. “Are you sick too?”
“No little man, I’m not sick,” she said and gave him her best smile which never reached her eyes. The uneasiness to her voice told me she was nervous. “I hope you’re okay with me helping you get better.” The boy nodded.
“Explain,” Julie said, “now!” I saw my son jump at the venomous anger in his mother’s tone and I didn’t appreciate it one bit.
Before I risked stocking the fire, Todd beat me to the punch with better results than I probably would have yielded. “Julie,” he said, “calm down and give her a chance to do just that.” Alissa nodded her appreciation and looked at me quickly before finally settling her gaze on the fiery resistance in the room.
“I honestly thought that you’d be thrilled,” she said. “I never once expected for you to be mad…disappointed, sure…envious, maybe.”
“I’m not mad. I’m fucking furious,” Julie said.
Jasper gasped. “Mommy,” he said, “that’s a bad word.”
Julie didn’t bother to react to Jasper’s scolding. In fact, I was shocked that she had forgotten that he was even in the room and had paid him no never mind despite that he was still perched on Allie’s lap. One look at the intensity in the woman’s face told me that she was trapped between this surprise of sorts and her raging pregnancy hormones.
“I’m sorry,” she said to my ex-wife.
“How?” I asked, “I mean, when did you get tested?” And then I began to clue in. There had only been one moment where she could have done this without us knowing. Messing’s secretary had mentioned that someone had specifically stated that their sample was for Jasper’s case. “You never left your phone behind that day, did you?” I asked.
She shook her head. “No.”
Alissa had gone through the motions of explaining that after we had found out about Julie’s and my test results, she had feigned leaving her cellphone behind. It turns out that she had run in to make an appointment to get tested and was lucky enough to bump into Doctor Messing before he had left for his rounds.
“He didn’t want to run the blood-work because he thought that I was in all of this too deep already,” she said.
“I was adamant that she speak with you both beforehand,” Doctor Messing said and came up from behind, “and for good reason.” The man looked at my ex-wife.
“But I persisted and I told him that if there were issues, we could all deal with them after we got this going for Jasper…if I was a match that is,” she said. I watched as she eyed Julie with sternness and tilted her chin up with pride and that stubbornness of hers I had grown to love in all of our time together. “I realize that this is a shock to you all but I figured that if there was the slightest chance, that you two as parents should take it.”
“She’s right,” Doctor Messing said and looked between Julie and me. “There’s no way of knowing when another matching donor could come around and Alissa is one of the best matches I’ve seen in my history of donor and recipient matching. You need to take this chance while it’s available. You know that the chemo hasn’t been working as well as it should and platelet therapy can only help so much and he’ll need more of that after the transplant-”
“You just like to steal the show, don’t you?” Julie accused more than asked. “You waltz in here and-”
“Julie! You have to calm down, honey,” Todd said and took hold of arm as the woman attempted to move toward Alissa. “This isn’t the end of the world. I find what she’s doing incredibly valiant.”
“It’s not about bravery or valour,” Alissa said and reached out to Julie who with reluctance, Todd released and by some unseen force, Julie moved forward but never gave the woman her hand, “it’s about what’s right for this boy of yours.” Alissa paused to smile at Jasper. “He’s your world and I know that and I know what it is to love him, Julie. Let me do this for you. I can’t bear thinking that you could lose him over the simple fact that we have our differences. Do it for Jasper.”
After a moment of silence which felt like an eternity, Julie gave in and reached her hand out to cover the top of Alissa’s. Without another word the woman picked Jasper up from my girlfriend’s lap and nodded. With that unspoken acknowledgement, Julie made to exit the room with our son in her arms and Todd following them out of the room.
She paused at the door. “Good luck,” she said before she disappeared altogether.
“I’ll give you two a minute,” Doctor Messing said and bowed out.
I teetered on my feet as I studied her from head to her covered toes. She looked nervous, worried, relieved. What made me feel a slight semblance of comfort was that she also looked strong, proud, and determined.
“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me,” I said. “Is that why you were crying the other day when I walked in on you thanking someone on the phone?”
She nodded. “Yes. I’m sor-” she said but I rushed to her side and cradling her neck in my hand, I kissed her with such desperation that even a glutton would still be hungry after over-eating.
I pulled my lips from hers and leaned our foreheads against each other’s.
“Are you okay with this?” she asked and I could tell that s
he was forcing back her emotions. “I know it’s not the greatest. I know that I probably should have gone about it-”
I shook my head and pecked her. “You’re crazy for doing this all on your own, you know that?” I kissed her again, keeping her face between the palms of my hands. “I wish you would have told me, gorgeous. Did you think about how the hell you were going to get home after all of this?”
She smiled and shrugged her shoulders. “Not really,” she said.
“You’re hopeless. For what it’s worth, I’m not happy you chose to do this alone but I love you all the more for it, baby, and now that I know, I’m not leaving your side.”
“I’m not hopeless,” she said and nuzzled my nose, “anything but. I’m saving a life.”
“And you’ll never know how much that means to me, to any of us,” I said. “I love you so much, you crazy woman.”
“You know I do too.”
Doctor Messing came in and asked Alissa if she was ready to go. With a quick kiss to her hand, I let the two porters wheel her away, promising that I’d be there when she woke up.
“Jasper is being prepped as we speak if you’d like to see him before we take him away,” he said.
“I would,” I said, “and Doc?”
“Yes?”
“You make sure those two come back to me.” I swallowed the ball of emotion in my throat. “They’re both my world.”
“Got it,” the man said and put a hand on my shoulder as if a father would his son. The irony was that we were both about the same age. “They’ll be fine. You’ll see Alissa within the hour. Jasper however, will take a little while longer.”
“How much longer?”
“We’ll be running his blood again to make sure everything is still a go despite the fact that we did it less than a week ago. From there, we’ll take Alissa’s marrow and synthesize it into the serum we need and make the transfer,” he said. “Jasper’s procedure will be nearly three hours from the beginning of Alissa’s aspiration, the synthesising, and transplantation. Basically, he’ll be out for about an hour if that.”
Once Written, Twice Shy (The Broken Men Chronicles) Page 15