I must have had a look of horror strewn on my face because Messing chuckled and patted me on the back as he urged me forward and out of Alissa’s room.
“Don’t worry,” Messing said again. “It sounds worse than what it is. It’ll reflect more on Alissa than Jasper, believe it or not.”
“Why’s that?”
“Transplants are typically harder on live donors because they lose something they’re body is still using. She’ll be sore, particularly in her hips and lower back. She might be a little extra tired as well. Her soreness will most likely last several days but it can be around for up to a few weeks after the procedure,” the doctor said. “We’ll be keeping Jasper in here for the unforeseeable future but depending on how well Alissa fairs with the anesthesia, she should be fine to go home tonight provided that she keeps off her feet as much as possible for the remainder of the day and has someone to look after her, help her exercise her legs and such from tomorrow on.”
“Alissa, you’re crazy,” I mumbled under my breath, dragging my hands through my hair.
Doctor Messing chuckled. “Not crazy but honestly the most determined woman I’ve ever met.”
“She is that. Thank you, Doc,” I shook his hand and realized that we had walked all the way down the hall to what was Jasper’s room without my being aware.
“Go ahead,” he said and gestured for me to move forward.
“Daddy, Nurse Jackie said that I’ll be going to sleep and dream of all my favourite things,” he said. “She said I can dream about ice cream and going to the park for as long as I want. When can we go to the park again, Daddy?”
Julie kept silent but I noticed the tears welling up in her eyes. I looked down at our son and fought the resilient lump I couldn’t quite manage to clear, in my throat. “As soon as this is all over and you’re better, we’ll all go play at the park. Why don’t we make a Jasper Day out of it?” I asked.
He perked up and said, “You mean like the day we had with you, me and Allie?”
“Sure thing, tough guy,” I said, “and we’ll even get Mommy and Todd to come along with us too. How does that sound?”
He giggled and said, “Perfect! Does that mean I get two ice creams?”
“I doubt it but we’ll see. Let’s get this show on the road,” I said and stuck my fist out so he could bump it with his free hand. “Are you ready?”
“Yeah, Daddy.”
“I love you,” I said, “and I’ll be waiting for you when you wake up. I promise.”
“Okay, Daddy,” he said.
***
It had been nearly an hour and a half and Alissa hadn’t been brought out yet. I began pacing the waiting area, wondering what the hell might have gone wrong when a nurse walked our way.
“Mr. Lowell?” she asked.
I rushed to her and said, “Yeah?”
“Ms. Hidgins is ready to be seen, sir,” she said. “We’re sorry for the wait. We’re a little busy today and it took the porters a little longer to get her back to her room.”
I breathed easier and turned to Julie. “Are you okay?”
She nodded. “We’ll come get you or send someone when we hear about Jasper,” she said. I gave a curt nod and turned to follow the nurse.
I walked into her room to that same beeping sound from the cardiac monitor from earlier. She was sleeping. I kissed her forehead, letting my fingers skim across her cheekbones as her eyelashes fluttered.
“I love you so much,” I said to her. I sat down, laid my hand on her thigh and let my head fall to the side of the mattress as I breathed my relief that she was okay. “I can’t believe you’ve done this,” I said to the silence.
“I would do it again,” she said with a croaky voice before I felt her hand tangle itself in my messy hair. “Now kiss me like you did before they took me away.”
I smiled at her loopy smirk and what else could I do? I indulged her. Hell, it was quite possible that she had saved my son’s life. If all she wanted was a passion-filled kiss, I was going to give it to her—she deserved the world in my opinion. Only, I was questioning if I would always be enough for this woman.
When I backed away, the look of clarity in her eyes told me everything I needed to know.
Chapter 22
A series of calls were made over the PA system and next thing I knew, hospital staff were running about the halls, rushing like ants to a piece of dropped fruit. By their frantic activity, things didn’t look good for whoever the patient was.
It wasn’t until I noticed that Alissa was looking past me and toward her hospital room door that I filled with complete dread and my son popped to the forefront of my mind.
Please God, don’t let that last mad rush be about Jasper.
“Mr. Lowell,” the nurse said and I turned toward the voice.
“Yes?”
Her sympathetic facial got my heart thumping and my blood to rush through my veins.
Oh God…
I felt Alissa grab my hand and squeeze it.
“It’s your son, sir,” she said. “I wanted to let you know that they’ll be a little longer than predicted.”
The woman stood there, shifty on her feet. I could tell that she hadn’t been in the field for all that long and wasn’t accustomed to bearing news to family members about their loved one.
“Is everything alright?” Alissa asked the nurse as it seemed that my attempts at composing myself were failing and my speech had left me.
“Jasper’s had a reaction to the anesthesia but we’ve got everything under control,” she said. “I just figured that I would let you know of this now so that you won’t be surprised when he comes out.”
“Surprised?” Alissa asked.
“Why would I be surprised?” I asked as relief took over but only slight.
“Well, sir,” she said, “he won’t be waking up right away. The doctor had to induce a coma due to his brain swelling after he threw a clot. It’s a precaution he deemed necessary to use due to the nature of the procedure and your son’s underlying condition.”
“Are you telling me that my son had a stroke?” I asked. She nodded. “But he’s only four!”
“I’m sorry, sir. These reactions rarely happen but anesthesia does hold its own set of risks,” she said and began to back away. “I just figured you would appreciate the information right away. The doctor will be available to answer any questions you may have when he’s out of the OR.”
I swallowed hard. “Thank you.”
“And sir,” she said and I looked her way once again to see a weary smile. “Everything else is going as planned. They should be done within the next half hour.”
The air felt as if it had been knocked out of me. I was relieved to know that Jasper was going to be okay but far from thrilled that he had to suffer through yet another complication.
I felt helpless again; much like the day we had found out about his JMML. Despite knowing there was nothing I could have done about the clot, it was still a tough lump to swallow.
“Pax, stop it,” Alissa said. “You’re blaming yourself again.”
“I’m that transparent, huh?”
“Even when I’m loopy I can read you like a book,” she said. “Now go find Julie and make sure that she’s-”
“We’re here.” I turned to the door to face my ex-wife. “How are you feeling?” she asked Alissa as if their previous moment of hostility had never occurred.
“Sore but I’ll survive,” she said. “How’re you holding up?”
“The nurse came to let us know that everything is going smoothly and they’re almost done,” Julie said. “They’re keeping him comatose for the day and they may try and wean him off over the next day or so if there aren’t any other complications.”
“When can we see him?” I asked.
“That’s why I’m here,” Julie said, “Messing came out after I sent the nurse your way and said that we’d be able to see him in the next half-hour. He seems optimistic but mentioned that it would t
ake some time. They’re about to wheel him to his post-op room and then they’ll come and get us.”
Aside from evident exhaustion from the day’s stress, Julie seemed quite controlled with regards to her emotions. Instead of being just as solid on my feet as I’ve been over the last few months, I felt a little off-kilter, emotionally drained. I doubted being able to support anyone but myself and Alissa . If anything, Alissa was the epitome of strength for both of us right now.
***
Before long, visiting hours were up and some middle-aged nurse rushed us out of Jasper’s room. I wasn’t the least bit impressed with her tact but what was I to do? This was the Paediatric ICU we were talking about. Their protocols were a bit stricter and when it came down to the fine line, I wasn’t about to jeopardize my son’s health or that of anyone else’s child.
I had made my way back to Alissa’s room and found her chatting it up with Doctor Messing, glad to see her dressed and sitting up. The tension in her jaw and the dullness in her eyes indicated that she was having some discomfort.
“I’ve got the all-clear,” she said and smiled. I walked to her side and kissed the crown of her head.
“I want you back in here in two days’ time so I can check up on everything,” Doctor Messing said.
“I’ll be here,” she said. “I’ll be going stir-crazy staying in until then.”
I smirked at her. “I can think of a few things that don’t require any or much effort on your part,” I said leaning into her ear so only she could hear.
She blushed, nudged me in my side and then let her head fall onto my shoulder.
“Just remember the list of things to look out for. If any of them pop up, I want you back in here ASAP,” Messing said.
“Let’s get you home,” I said when a porter showed up with a wheelchair for her. “Riding in style, I see.”
Alissa’s nose scrunched up at my lame joke and said, “I’d rather walk but I’m doing what I was told to do so I don’t have to hurt as much.”
“And I suppose hospital policy has nothing to do with it?” I asked.
“Are you kidding, it’s got everything to do with it,” she said.
***
We got home and I had gone ahead, unlocked the door and rushed back to her. I knew she could walk but I also knew that it hurt to do so. Enough proof of that was shown when Messing had gotten her up to help gauge if she was ready to leave.
“You’re not carrying me,” she said as if reading my mind.
I got close to her face and smiled. “Let me do this for you,” I said. “You argued about me helping you into the Jeep and it hurt you. I don’t need you hurting more than I know you already are.”
She didn’t put up a fight. Instead, she pecked my cheek and studied my face before wrapping her arm around my neck and I took charge.
I let her down on the bed, with her feet dangling off its side. She looked up at me and my gaze fused to hers.
“Are you okay?” I asked. “Do you need anything?”
She nodded and averted her eyes in a shy manner. I grabbed her chin and tilted her face so her eyes came back to meet mine.
“What is it, baby?”
“I need you to help me out of these clothes and into something more comfortable,” she said.
I laughed because I knew that she had help from the nurse earlier. Like a gentleman, I catered to her needs. She helped me shift her shirt up and over her head, revealing her bust.
My eyes never left hers except for the few seconds I needed to get to the buttons on her pants. I slid them down her body and got to my knees where I helped her take her legs out of the garment while she held on to my shoulders.
My hands trailed over her bare skin. I got back up to my feet and let my open palms glide from her lower back where I felt the edge of the bandage to her shoulder-blades. She had closed her eyes, smiling as she melted into my chest. With her head tilted back, I took the opportunity to let my lips do the talking over the sensitive skin of her neck. “I love you,” I said and finished with a nip to her ear. She whimpered. “Let’s get you into bed.”
Chapter 23
I woke to a still sleeping Alissa. She had found slumber on her stomach but hadn’t strayed very far from me through the night. I ran my fingers down her bare back and stopped at the edge of the bandage. How many people did I know that would willingly put themselves through hell to save a life like she had? I groaned.
I recalled how she had woken up in the middle of the night in a heated sweat and ended up stripping down to her panties. It wasn’t uncommon for a donor to come down with a fever after an extraction but it was imperative that everything was done to keep the temperature down.
With nothing but a thin sheet covering her bottom and a light snore breaking the silence of the morning every so often, I watched over her.
That’s when I heard her soft moan. “Pax.”
Not sure if she was awake or sleeping, I kissed the back of her shoulder. Her breath picked up. I continued and kissed the back of her neck. I settled beside her and noticed that her eyes were still shut but a smile on her face had appeared—she was awake.
“Good morning,” I said and nuzzled her cheek.
She rolled onto her back with a bit of effort. “What was that for?”
I hovered above her at her side. “The sight of you practically naked in my bed makes me want to do things, things I simply can’t do to you right now,” I said and pecked her on her lips. “How are you feeling?”
“Great so far,” she said. “Not much pain but I suppose I’ll know more when I try to stand or walk.” She kissed me hard on the mouth. “Now, about the things you so desperately want to do and can’t.”
“I’ve yet to show my appreciation for what you’ve done,” I said and nuzzled her nose with mine.
She smiled and said, “There’s no need for that.”
“Oh,” I brushed my lips over hers, “but there is.”
She laughed.
I love that laugh of hers. It could cure anything and everything in my opinion. It turned the cloudiest day to nothing but sunshine and rainbows. She was able to make everyone around her happy. She made everything right. She showed me how genuine her feelings were and that was simple but most of all, it was enough. Alissa Hidgins had to laugh, it was that easy. It’s all she had to do to make me happy; everything else, I could handle on my own or would fall into place.
“What’s got you grinning like a goof?”
“You,” I said, “just you.”
***
I left Alissa upstairs to relax while I fixed us some breakfast and called the hospital to see how Jasper had faired overnight while I was at it. Nothing had changed, his vitals had remained strong.
Just finishing with the bacon and about to start with the eggs, I sat the crispy strips on the table when I heard a loud thud.
I rushed upstairs and heard Alissa cry out in pain. I entered the bedroom but she wasn’t where I had left her. I followed the sound of the shower and let myself in.
“Alissa,” I said. I found her in a rather interesting position; bent over naked with her heart-shaped bottom pointed right at me. “What the hell are you doing, gorgeous?” I asked but as I approached with admiration for the sight before me, she straightened herself up with the help of the shower stall wall. “Need a little help?”
I bent over and picked up the bottle of body-wash she had knocked over onto the floor.
“Nice ass,” I said with a smirk.
“Thank you,” she said and took the bottle from me with a huff, “now, get out.”
“I don’t think I can do that,” I said. “What if you drop the shampoo bottle next or maybe the conditioner?”
“Funny,” she said but couldn’t remain serious as her lips quirked up. “Seeing as you’re so worried about me maybe I should take you up on your offer.”
“Are you sure it’s wise?” I asked. “I mean, what if you can’t keep your hands off me? You know we’d be in trouble and
I can’t take you like I normally do.”
Alissa looked like she pondered what I said and smiled back, mischief all too clear in her eyes.
“Come on, Romeo,” she said. “I can use someone to scrub my back and wash my hair. I think I can control my urges just fine and you seemed to have done a good job with yours last night.”
I stripped down while she stood in the shower, letting the water rain down on her. When I entered, I eyed her glistening body and groaned as I began to feel those familiar tingles heading down to my nether region.
God, have mercy.
I erred on the side of caution, choosing to start with her back and headed south from there. I didn’t need her to see that the control over my urges was dwindling.
As I got to that firm tush of hers, she had removed the bandage and I saw the bruising around the extraction site. I made a point to be gentle. When I ran my palm slightly over the area I felt her flinch. Her butt flexed. I smiled at the sight and gave her a slight love nip on the opposite cheek.
“I’m not sure having you in here was such a good idea after all,” she said through clenched teeth.
“I promise I’ll behave,” I said, having finished with her legs. I stood up, held up my index and middle fingers together and gave her a broad and over-exaggerated smile. “Scout’s honour.”
She laughed at my shenanigans and leaned forward to kiss my lips with her hands resting on my chest. She gave me one of her classic endearing looks. “Thank you,” she said. “Has anyone ever told you how sweet you can be?”
“Only once or twice.” I winked.
***
Cleansed and fed, Alissa got up with another one of her winces.
“I didn’t bring you down here for you to tidy up after my cooking,” I scolded her and got up to take our plates from her hands.
Once Written, Twice Shy (The Broken Men Chronicles) Page 16