Double Betrayal (Surviving Book 3)

by Frost, Ada

  For the first time in four years, I hated my job.

  “So, little buddy, we can do this, right? No more pee pee on Uncle Will, okay?” I said, putting Alfie on the potty.

  “At least you didn’t sit on his candy bar and now look like you’re incontinent at the age of thirty-five,” Ryan huffed, twisting around to glare at his back. And yeah, he did look like he’d followed through and shit himself.

  “Man, I’m covered in the kid’s piss. Who knew such a tiny thing could hold so much water?” I continued to wipe at my shirt and jeans where Alfie had decided to pee all over me.

  “What time are Louise and Jo home?” Ry asked.

  I glanced at my watch, keeping one eye on my little bud, sitting on his potty. Lou and Jo were both at work and I’d asked if Ryan and I could watch him instead of him attending nursery today. It was an attempt to spend some time with my nephew. But the bomb site downstairs was a result of Ryan and my combined lack of babysitting skills.

  “Ry, watch him and I will go and clean –”

  “Oh, no, you don’t. I ain’t trained for ass wiping. You got us into this mess. I will go clean downstairs while you wipe his tush.”

  “Maybe he can wipe it himself.”

  “Yeah, the kid pisses himself, he ain’t gonna wipe his ass.”

  “Poo.” Alfie grunted as his face turned a red-purple.

  I faced Ryan, who was walking backward out of the room. “All yours, bud.”

  I opened my mouth to speak but gagged when the stench hit me. I covered my mouth and nose. “Christ, how the hell does he smell that bad?” I didn’t get an answer because my partner in crime had disappeared.

  “Okay, we can do this,” I muttered as I looked down at my nephew, who sat playing with a bath sponge.

  I held Alfie in my arms and headed down the stairs. “Seriously, kid, we have got to talk about not doing that when Uncle Will is looking after you. It ain’t right.”

  “Uncle Wiw poo poo.”

  “No, Uncle Will does not like poo poo.”

  Alfie giggled in my arms as I tickled his tummy. Just as I reached the bottom step, the front door opened, causing Alfie to squeal excitedly. Johan walked in, looking deathly white, and fixed on his kid. He walked over to us, pulled Alfie out of my arms and hugged him to his chest tightly. I opened my mouth to ask him if everything was okay, but the door opened again and a red faced Lou walked in.

  “Did you not hear me shouting at you?” she huffed at Jo, dropping what appeared to be two heavy bags of books on the floor. I stepped around Jo, who hadn’t said a word to anyone. He simply stood with his face buried in the kid’s neck. I glanced at Lou and shrugged.

  “Johan, sweetheart, what’s wrong?” The concern in her voice was like a magnet to Ryan who appeared in the doorway. His eyes fixed on Jo.

  Lou stepped behind her guy and rubbed his back. “Johan.”

  “Emily called in sick today. Izzy was in a car accident New Year’s Eve and is in a pretty bad way.” My spine stiffened; it was like a punch to the gut to hear her name, but a knife through the heart to hear Izzy was hurt. He pulled his face away from Alfie, his hand cupping his face as if he needed to check the kid for any harm. “Rhea was driving, drunk and high. She lost control and collided with a haulage truck. Izzy wasn’t wearing a seatbelt and –”

  “Oh, God,” Lou gasped, covering her mouth. Tears pooled in her eyes.

  “She was thrown from the vehicle.”

  Lou stepped toward Johan and wrapped her arms around his back. She pressed against him and I could see her shoulders shaking with silent sobs.

  “It was her brother who left a message on the lobby answer phone to say that due to a family emergency Emily wouldn’t be into work for the foreseeable future. Dominic knows she never calls in sick unless it’s to do with Izzy, so he contacted Acis. Emily wasn’t available to talk, but he explained Izzy was in the hospital and Emily refuses to leave her side.”

  “We need to go see her.” Lou sniffled, pulling away to stare at Jo. I couldn’t speak; my mouth was dry and my throat was closing with every word Johan spoke. My Emily must be in agony watching her babygirl.

  “I tried – I called her after Dom told me what had happened. She wouldn’t answer. I sent her a couple of texts, and then I called her from the office. She answered that time, but when she heard my voice she disconnected.” He glared at me, and the lump in my throat intensified. She needed her friends and I had fucked it up. Lou spun around to face me.

  “This is your fault,” she choked as tears rolled down her face. I bobbed my head, knowing I couldn’t argue with the truth. I ran my hands through my hair. I felt completely helpless.

  “I’m sorry.” I turned to the door and fled their home; admittedly it was cowardly, but it wasn’t like I hadn’t acted like a sulky prick in the past month. But one thing I didn’t understand was, why did Rhea have Izzy in the first place? I was out of the picture. The deal was I left and Rhea returned Izzy to Em.

  The roar of my bike was a welcome feeling. As I pulled my helmet on, Ryan came out of the house and jogged down the driveway to me. “Where are you heading?”

  “Don’t ask questions you know the answer to.”

  “You are the last person she will want to see right now.” His surly tone pissed me off.

  “But she’s the only person I want to see right now. And I need to know how Izzy is doing.”

  “You’re an idiot.”

  “But you’re going to come with me anyway, right?” I asked hopefully.

  “Someone has got to be there when her brothers kick your ass.”

  I smiled weakly, and bobbed my head. “Don’t stop them, if they do.”

  Ryan chuckled as he climbed onto the back of the bike. “You may deserve it, but I ain’t standing by while someone kicks your ass.”

  “They have a right –”

  “Stop with the pity party bullshit. Yeah, you fucked up, you made the wrong choice; own the mistake and live by it.”

  “What the hell does that mean? I am living by my mistake.”

  “No, you’re wallowing and hiding your pain by monopolising time with Alfie. Suck it up, apologise, and do your best to win your girl back.”

  “There are no apologies –”Thump! My head rattled inside the helmet when the fucker punched the back of it.

  “Stop being a chicken shit. I go back on tour soon, and I need to see your sorry ass is happy. I can’t win a war when my brother is too much of a pussy to fight for the woman he’s clearly in love with.”

  I revved the engine, hating he was right, but I didn’t see a future where I could atone for what I had done to Emily. She was right to hate me, and not just because I was feeling sorry for myself, but for the choices I had made. I should have stuck with my instincts and talked to her after our date night. I still couldn’t get the image of her standing there looking like a million dollars out of my mind. I thought it was an image that would haunt me until my dying day; it was like the fabric was moulded to every beautiful curve she had. And when she turned around to walk away from me, the expanse of her back was completely naked. I’d fought everything within me not to run after her, drop to my knees, and beg her to forgive me for being an idiot.

  We headed through the Clarendon Wing of the Leeds General Infirmary, looking like two freaking idiots every time we took a wrong turn. It was like a rabbit warren down there.

  “Excuse me, darling,” Ryan said as we passed a nurse. She turned a tired, hassled gaze at us, but when she caught sight of Ryan her cheeks pinked and she smiled, her face transforming quite beautifully. “Can you tell us which direction to go to get to the children’s ward?” She silently stared at him for so long I was certain she had turned to a statue. Ry’s smile never faltered. Finally, she spoke.

  “I’ll take you; I was heading that way myself. It’s – the end of my shift.” I fought a smile at the hopeful lilt to her voice as her attention remained on my brother.

  “Well, isn’t that perfect? I
need to take you for coffee to thank you.” He flashed her a winning smile and she was putty in his hands. I followed them, holding onto the bouquet. With every step, nervous tension bubbled away in my stomach. I hoped, even if it was for just a second, I would get to see my pixie-girl. Like a scary stalker, I ran by her house every morning at four am, but I hadn’t seen her since the club. And having the last memory of her beautiful face being in pain sucked.

  “Beautiful flowers,” the nurse commented as we walked down the corridor. I had stopped at the florist en route to get Izzy some orange calla lilies. I’d bought twenty in a glass vase and had them tied with the same silver ribbon I had when I’d bought her one before.

  “He could have bought a decent bike with the money he spent on them.”

  “Douche,” I muttered, shaking my head.

  We made a left, walked down another long corridor, a right, and then another left. It was like a freaking maze. Finally, I caught sight of Castor standing outside a set of double doors. I increased my speed and walked around Ryan and the nurse, sending her my thanks.

  “Th-th-th-they w-w-won’t –”

  “Let me in?”

  He bobbed his head, sending me a sympathetic smile. I forced the corners of my mouth into a smile and held out the vase. “Can you give these to Izzy?”

  He frowned at the flowers and glanced at me with a quizzical look on his face.

  “What?”

  “O-o-odd t-t-to send a k-k-k-kid –” he nodded toward the vase.

  “She likes flowers,” I said curtly, hating my voice sounding so defensive. Maybe it was a stupid idea, but she’d seemed so happy when I’d bought her a flower before. Maybe I should take them back and–

  Castor turned and pressed the large green button on the panel beside the door. He stared into a tiny camera and waited until a beep sounded. He opened the door and before I knew it, he was gone. The windows in the doors were painted over in bright colours, so I couldn’t even peek in through the glass to see if I could catch a glimpse of Em and Izzy. My stomach bottomed out. I was so close to them, but yet I felt a fucking country apart. All I wanted was a tiny peek. A large hand landed on my shoulder, scaring the shit out of me. I turned, fixing my glare on Ryan.

  “Coffee?”

  I shook my head; I wanted to wait until Castor came out. I moved away from him and walked over to three uncomfortable looking plastic chairs. I folded the seat down and tried to relax my massive frame into the tiny creaking plastic.

  The doors opened and I craned my neck around to see a guy exit the ward holding a shoulder bag and three character balloons.

  That’s what I should have gotten her.

  Tomorrow I would find her a princess balloon. But today I wasn’t moving until Castor came back out and I could grill him for every bit of information he would part with.

  “We okay in here?” Ginny, the nurse, said, walking into the room.

  “She said it hurt and when she tried to move she started coughing.”

  “Okay, sweetheart, let’s give you some pain medicine.” The nurse brought in a syringe and pulled on some latex gloves. She took a hold of Izzy’s hand and started unscrewing the tiny lid on the IV cannula. She inserted the syringe and slowly pressed the clear liquid into my baby’s body. Izzy continued coughing, but less violently. The door opened and a bouquet of orange calla lilies walked in. My heart rate picked up in excitement when I saw the flowers, because only one person had bought those for us before. When the bouquet lowered my heart dropped and so did my smile.

  “Expecting someone else, sis?” Cas mouthed, with a shit-eating grin I wanted to slap from his smug face.

  “Will—” Izzy coughed. She reached out and pointed to the flowers.

  “Okay, sweetheart, let me finish this first,” Ginny soothed. She was the sweetest woman I had ever met. She was close to my step-mum’s age, and had told us she had been nursing for thirty-seven years. She had three daughters and had always wanted a son, but she said she was blessed with two grandsons instead. “Your uncle causes all kinds of trouble when he’s here. If he isn’t turning my nurses into giggling school girls, he’s getting my favourite patient all excited.” She cast Castor a mock glare, but the motherly wink had him smiling.

  He plucked the card out of the flowers and handed it over the bed to me.

  Without thought for the others in the room, I pressed the card to my chest and held it safe. He may have crushed me, but my illogical heart was slow to catch up to my rational mind. It wanted to go to him and ask for the scraps he was willing to offer. My fist tightened around the card, crumpling the delicate paper in my hand. What the hell was wrong with me? Since when had I become the woman who was willing to settle for scraps? I wanted filet mignon, not a dog bone.

  I glared at my brother, who stood watching me closely. The shithead hadn’t missed a thing, but I’d be damned if he was keeping the upper hand.

  “He doesn’t come in here,” I snapped.

  “Will’s here,” Izzy said excitedly; miraculously, her cough subsided.

  “No,” I said, a little harsher than intended. I placed my hand over Izzy’s hand, softening my tone. “Baby girl, Will’s busy; that’s why he sent you flowers.”

  “They are pretty flowers; you’re a lucky little girl,” Ginny said. She smiled down at Izzy before giving me a conspicuous look. Obviously, having three daughters clued her in on a few things.

  “Will is Mummy-Emmy’s boyfriend,” Izzy giggled, covering her mouth. I smiled at her, loving her little smile; I hadn’t seen many of those in the last week.

  “Not anymore, and you know this, you little monkey.” I chuckled, but inside I felt like I was being ripped apart. This was the most I’d allowed anyone to mention his name, let alone openly talk about him. The way Cas was looking at me was like I was in the wrong. Did he not remember the humiliating way I was unceremoniously dumped? The thought of Will taking that woman home that night still tore me apart; knowing she had all my dreams for the night killed me. I couldn’t even sign to my brother to fuck off, because Izzy would see.

  “I want to see Will,” Izzy pouted.

  I opened my mouth to speak, just as Jack walked in. Relief flooded me because if there was ever a distraction it was –

  “Look who I found outside,” he said, and my body froze. Tingles splintered my spine, my heart battered against my ribs and I fought against my body’s reaction to peer around Jack to see if Will was standing there. But Jack pulled a huge brown bear from around the corner. I wanted to weep with joy, but the sick disappointment flooding my stomach called me a liar.

  “When are you going to stop lying to yourself?” Castor signed as we sat beside a sleeping Izzy. Jack had gone to the canteen to bring us some food and hot coffee.

  “Don’t.” Silently, it didn’t carry as much warning, but the glare I sent him, hopefully, conveyed he needed to drop it.

  “He’s outside, you know. Waiting to hear about her,” he continued, the annoying prat. “I saw the disappointment on your face when you thought Jack had brought him in.”

  “Who abducted my brother? Because I prefer the one who was a pain in the arse for scaring blokes away, not this cupid wannabe.”

  I turned to stare out the window to evade seeing his hands move. One thing about sign, you couldn’t see it, you didn’t have to listen. And one thing I did know about my brother was his stubbornness to speak—

  “It w-w-was m-m-m-my id-d-ea,” he stammered. I snapped my attention to him; his cheeks were pink.

  “What was your idea?”

  He sighed and dragged his fingers down his face. “He explained what Rhea was trying to do. She started taking Izzy because Will refused to stop seeing you. I texted you to come to the club knowing Jessica had her sights set on Will. She approached him as you walked in.”

  I sat staring at him. I didn’t know how to process what he was saying. I glared at him, my rage building inside me. Far worse than the anger bubbling inside me was the hurt and the betray
al I felt. My two best friends had stood aside and allowed me to walk blindly unprepared into a broken heart, but I kind of understood Will’s family; they were standing by him. But my own brother, he was supposed to be on my side. He was more than a brother to me; he was the closest person I had in the world. If anyone in the world was beside me, to trust and care for me, I assumed it was him. I stared at him. I couldn’t speak; I didn’t know what to say.

  “You betrayed me,” I said softly, feeling like I was suffocating. I sucked in air, desperately trying to stop the tears welling in my eyes from falling. I stood on shaky legs and held onto the bed beside Izzy. I’d always had my brothers in my life. I couldn’t explain how it felt to know they had betrayed me.

  “Did Acis know?”

  Castor shook his head vehemently. He lifted his hands, but I couldn’t listen to him.

  “I’m not sure whether to believe you,” I said quietly. Gently, I slid my fingers into the warm hand of my baby girl and leaned over to kiss her forehead without waking her. Since her admittance, I had barely left Izzy’s bedside, but right then, I needed space from my brother. I couldn’t sit with him knowing he’d played a part in breaking my heart.

  “Stay here with her; text me if she wakes up. But when I get back, I need you to leave.”

  “But –”

  “I’m not stopping you from seeing her; I would never do that. But I can’t be around you right now. I can’t believe you played a part in hurting me so much, Castor. I loved him; you of all people knew how hard it was for me to let someone in.” My eyes stung with unshed tears. “I can’t be near you right now.”

  “Em –”

  I held up my hand as he stood and reached over the bed to me. I stepped out of his reach. “I’ve always trusted you, always. You are the one person I thought I could rely on.”

  “We were trying to protect you.”