The Other Family

by Linda A. Hardy

  “oh that is good news, so where was he then?”

  “he moved to Bognor Regis”

  “oh Bognor, you know what they say about Bognor don‘t you?”

  “no John, what do they say about Bognor?”

  “Bugger Bognor is what they say” as he laughed out loud and carried on “apparently it was said by King George the Fifth when he was ill, it was suggested that he go to Bognor to recuperate, I don’t think he wanted to go so he said Bugger Bognor, and people have been saying it ever since” John said with a laugh

  “well John that is where your grandfather George went and I can tell you that he passed away whilst living in Bognor in 1936 from pneumonia”

  “well at least now we know don’t’ we, have always wondered, let me tell you something, I had my honeymoon in Bognor, me and my wife Jean we could not really afford to go far for a honeymoon, money was tight back then but I wanted to take Jean away, so we went to Bognor, stayed in a lovely bed and breakfast place too”

  I decided not to tell John that it was my Pop who had registered his death or that George had married Betty and had committed bigamy by doing so, or that George had lied about his age. I thought it would only bring up more unanswered questions and some things we would never be able to answer. I also did not tell John that George and Betty had run their own bed and breakfast place in Bognor especially now that John had mentioned he stayed at a bed and breakfast in the same town for his honeymoon.

  “John do you know of anyone called Betty in the family”

  “no I don’t know any Betty’s in the family, but I did know a Betty once though, she was the landlady where Jean and I stayed at the bed and breakfast on our honeymoon, she cooked a right good breakfast too, she said the sea air makes people more hungry so she used to give us extra rashers of bacon and extra sausages”

  My brain was working overtime, oh gee he knew Betty, but then again maybe it was a different Betty, must be lots of Betty’s in this world, I was thinking to myself.

  “John what was the name of the bed and breakfast you stayed at, do you remember?”

  “oh I don’t remember now, Jean would of known it if she were still here, she is good at remembering names”

  John’s wife Jean had passed away ten years ago, mores the pity for me, but can you imagine if John and Jean had stayed at George and Betty’s bed and breakfast surely Betty would of recognised the Lello name, but then again maybe it was another Betty and another bed and breakfast.

  Chapter 13

  I was sitting at home one evening, flicking through the channels on the television, not really taking any notice of what was on, feeling rather bored, so I then picked up my mobile phone and checked my emails, one of the genealogy websites I subscribe to had sent me an email saying another member had sent me a message on the website. I went over to my computer, logged in and read my message:

  Hi, have noticed you have my mother’s name on this website, how are you related? My mother is Margaret Clarinda Lello, now Margaret Berry, daughter of William Clarence Lello. I see you have your family tree listed as Private on here so I cannot view your tree but can see you have put my mother’s name on here, if we have a connection then may I view your tree? Thank you, Lesley Sanders (formerly Berry)

  Oh my, I have found Margaret or should I say her daughter has found me, finally Peggy Blueberry, that is it, Uncle Bill’s Aunty Blue, oh gee what am I going to say in my reply to this Lesley?, I was thinking to myself. In the end I sent Lesley a short message asking her to email me and stated that I lived in Croydon and if she lived not too far away I asked if she would like to meet for a coffee and chat.

  As it was getting late that evening I was not expecting a reply straight away but the next morning I checked my emails and their was a message from Lesley saying she lived in Purley and that she would love to meet up, Lesley suggested a coffee lounge in Croydon for us to meet at, for Saturday at 10.30am.

  I quickly replied back saying Saturday would be perfect and informed her that I would be holding a blue folder so if she was there before me, she would know it was me walking in. I felt so excited, I cannot believe it, I am going to meet the daughter of Pop’s daughter Margaret, I am going to meet my cousin Lesley for the first time, I wanted to jump for joy.

  I got up Saturday morning and spent an hour trying to decide on what to wear, I did not want Lesley to think I am an old frump, but wanted to look somewhat stylish, so in the end I put on my jeans and a blouse with a jacket over the top of it and thought, well it is Saturday, expect to go a bit more casual being the weekend, I still worried whether I looked alright though, I think the nerves were kicking in, normally I would not worry about what I am wearing, after work and weekends it was usually my comfy tracky pants and a sweater or t-shirt with a long cardigan, which helps cover the wobbly bits around the backside, but as I was to meet Lesley I thought a smart jacket would be more appropriate. I like to dress for comfort rather than wear whatever is in fashion at the moment, not that I know what is in fashion at the moment, I very rarely buy myself new clothes, I just keep on wearing the same one’s until they have got holes in them.

  I arrived at the coffee lounge ten minutes early, like I normally do for everything else in my life, hate being late plus I can never quite time it right to arrive spot on the time, I informed the waitress that I was waiting for someone and would order coffee when my “friend” arrived.

  I was feeling a nervous, I knew I was nervous because every minute I kept checking my watch, , eight minutes to ten, seven minutes to ten, six minutes to ten, the counting down I think was making me more on edge but I could not stop looking at my watch and the entrance to the coffee shop, and then I started thinking, what if she does not show up?, how long should I sit here and wait?, maybe I will give her until quarter past ten before I get up and leave, but I need not of worried, spot on ten o’clock this almost spitting image of myself walked in, well spitting image facial wise, there was definitely a resemblance, she had even drawn the short gene too.

  I picked up my blue folder and gave it a little wave and as Lesley approached me with a beaming smile, I stood up and said “hi, I’m Lindsay”

  “I’m Lesley, lovely to meet you”

  “yes same here, shall we order a drink”

  I beckoned the waitress and I ordered a Chai Latte whilst Lesley ordered a White Chocolate Mocha. “Lesley” I said as I exhaled and then carried on “feeling a little nervous to be honest, not everyday you meet a relative for the first time”

  “yes same here actually, I feel a mixture of excitement too, unbelievable that we did not know about each other”

  “well let me start first shall I?, many years ago I became interested in my family history but did not do anything about it until years later, my Pop, um that is my grandfather, I call him Pop, he died before I was born, well I started looking into his family and discovered he had been married and had a family, well my family never knew about the other family, as we refer to you, you know, your side of the family, we never knew you existed, Pop never spoke of his family”

  “my mum is Peggy, that’s Margaret but everyone calls her Peg or Peggy”

  “or Aunty Blue”

  “Aunty Blue, what is that?”

  “I will tell you in a minute, go on”

  “well my mum she knew that her father had met someone else and started another family but she had no idea where they were and did not know how to find them, then last month I started looking into my family history and thought I would try and find the other family, you know your family, we call your side, the other family” Lesley said with a smile

  Our drinks arrived and we continued on with our conversation.

  “I saw you had entered my mothers name on Ancestry and then sent you a message” says Lesley

  “and hey presto here we are”

  “so who is Aunty Blue?”

  “well you might not believe this but I have a Uncle named Bill, he was born William but we all call him Bill,
well as a little boy his father, my Pop, used to take him on visits to someone he called Aunty Blue, the visits stopped once he started school but his father used to call Aunty Blue - Blueberry, because her name was Berry so Pop called her a blueberry as a sort of nickname I guess and my Uncle Bill called her Aunty Blue, I have only just found this out recently”

  “wow that is amazing, my mum never mentioned that at all”

  “maybe she had forgotten, was a long time ago now”

  Lesley and I ordered another drink and continued talking about each other’s family for another hour, we exchanged our phone numbers and addresses and we parted giving each other a kiss on the cheek and a promise to stay in touch. As I headed home I felt elated, the meeting had been a success, and found Lesley and I had more in common than I realised.

  Chapter 14

  A few weeks later I had arranged for my mum Barbara and all her siblings to be at Uncle Bill’s on a Sunday. I had an important announcement to make, Nat and I had decided we could no longer keep them in the dark about their half-siblings, especially as I had now met Lesley, so my cousin Natalie with her mum Ellie, and the rest of their siblings Pauline, George and Raymond and of course Uncle Bill and my mum Barbara had all arrived and were busy chatting away when I stood up and asked for their attention.

  “I have something to tell you all” I announced, after a slight pause I continued, “you all know that I have been researching the family tree right”

  “yes Linds” says Uncle Bill.

  “your not going to bore us with all that are you” says Aunty Pauline

  “no I will not bore you with all that, but I have something to tell you all, ok, so bear with me”, I went on, “Pop, your father William, well before he met Nan, your mother, he had been married before”

  “really” said Uncle George

  “cheeky bugger” said Uncle Bill

  “yes anyway” I said, I am sure I am sweating at this point and I am wondering to myself am I doing the right thing here telling them this, come on Lindsay get on with it, I said to myself.

  “anyway Pop, your dad, he had three children from this marriage, you have a half-brother named Charles and two half-sisters named Margaret and Kate”

  The look on their faces was priceless, it was out, I finally told them, whether it was the right thing to do or not I do not know but I felt they should know. I told them everything I knew about their half siblings and even mentioned meeting Lesley.

  “Lesley is really a nice person, I am sure you would like her, maybe I could invite her around here one day so you can meet her”

  “well Linds you certainly did find some skeletons in the cupboard except these ones are still warm” said Uncle Bill with a smile.

  “so why did father never mentioned these other children of his then” piped up Uncle Raymond

  “yes why didn’t we know about them before?” said Aunty Ellie

  “we may never know the answer to that I’m afraid, your father took that to his grave, but he and his wife separated and then Pop met Nan and had all of you” I said, not mentioning the fact that my Nan, their mother, was the other woman, his mistress.

  “so what happened to fathers parents” said Uncle John

  “your grandmother Carolyn passed away in 1950, it appears that Pop did not attend her funeral because he had been disowned by the family for leaving his wife, your grandfather George later moved to Bognor where he died in 1936”

  “oh not Bugger Bognor” said Uncle Bill with a laugh.

  “when we were kids we used to spend a week at the seaside in Bognor” says my mum Barbara.

  “oh yes I remember that” says Aunty Ellie.

  “yes we stayed in a bed and breakfast” says Uncle George.

  “did you really” I say, “do you remember the name of it?”

  My mind was suddenly jumping to conclusions, surely not I kept thinking, but none of them could remember the name of the bed and breakfast.

  “The lady owner said the sea air makes you more hungry, she used to give us a extra sausage and extra rasher of bacon for breakfast” said Uncle Bill.

  oh my god I was thinking, just what John had said when I spoke to him on the phone. Could they of all stayed at the same bed and breakfast.

  My mother and her siblings however could not remember the lady’s name at the bed and breakfast and even when I suggested the name Betty, it still did not ring any bells, I decided not to mention the bed and breakfast run by their grandfather George and his wife Betty, though legally she was not his wife, but did not think bigamy was a topic to raise right at this moment, nor did I mention about their father being the informant on his father’s death certificate, I did not want to drop more bombshells just yet, maybe some other day. I asked them how they would feel about meeting Lesley and they all seemed rather keen.

  “bring her round next week Linds, lets all have a sticky beak at her” said Uncle Bill with a smile.

  “I will ask her Uncle Bill and give you a call tomorrow and let you know”

  Chapter 15

  I phoned Lesley the next day and she was delighted to be asked to come along and meet the family, I gave her Uncle Bill’s address and she asked if she could bring someone with her, which I said sure she could, thinking it would be her husband.

  I then phoned Uncle Bill and told him that Lesley would be coming next Sunday and asked him if he could get all the family to bring some old family photographs to share around to show Lesley, I was thinking at least having some old family photograph’s to look at will help those awkward silent moments, should there be any. I felt a bit nervous at the thought of my mum and my aunts and uncles meeting Lesley but then I realised Lesley is probably just as nervous if not more so than we might be.

  Sunday came around and we were all at Uncle Bill’s by one o’clock, with Lesley expecting to arrive at two o’clock, I told Uncle Bill if the doorbell rang I would go and answer it, mum had helped with some nibbles and sandwiches for everyone.

  Spot on two o’clock the doorbell rang, how does Lesley manage to arrive spot on time I do not know, perhaps I need to ask her what the secret is? Right deep breath Lindsay I said to myself as I opened the door, I greeted Lesley with a small hug and kiss on the cheek and said hello to the person who was with her.

  “Lindsay this is my mum Margaret, Peggy”

  I could of cried at that moment but hoped I had composed myself enough to say “lovely to meet you Peggy, welcome, do come in”, I could not believe I was meeting my Aunt Peggy for the first time, this was amazing.

  I introduced Lesley to the family and Lesley introduced her mother Peggy, I do not know what I was expecting but the next few hours over endless cups of tea, we shared old family photographs and stories from each other‘s family, we laughed and some of even cried tears of joy to of found one another, getting towards tea time Lesley said it was time to go and as we all said our goodbye’s it was like Lesley and Peggy had been a part of our family forever. But before Peggy left she turned and said to my Uncle Bill “Lesley tells me I used to be called Aunty Blue, you know I had completely forgotten all about that until she mentioned it, and I remember you little Billy, father called me blueberry and you called me Aunty Blue, I remember you used to love Battenberg cake and I always sent you home with an extra piece”

  “Oh yes I remember that, I used to save the piece of cake until the next day and try not to let anyone see it, ah memories, real good memories back then, happy days” said Uncle Bill.

  “shame it all changed, when you did not visit any more I did try to find my father, but he had not told me where he was living and I had no idea where to look, back in those days it was not easy trying to trace someone” said Peggy.

  The following day I phoned Lesley and told her how happy we all were to of met her and her mother, and I told her there was just one more person I wanted her to meet and asked if she had any spare time coming up this week or next and she said she would be available tomorrow, so I arranged to meet Lesley
the next day outside Mitcham Road Cemetery. Lesley and I are walking through a beautiful quiet parkland, I was carrying a small bouquet of flowers, when after a short stroll I stopped and turned to Lesley and said “Lesley I would like you to meet your grandfather”, we were standing in front of my grandparents grave.

  “Pop I found the other family, your family, our family, this is Lesley your granddaughter”

  “oh my, I think I am going to cry” Lesley said with a sniff and added “I found the other family, your family, our family” and we both smiled with tears in our eyes and a tissue in our hand. I placed the bouquet on Pop’s gravestone with a note saying: With love from your granddaughters Lindsay and Lesley xx

  On our way back out of the cemetery whilst walking past the cemetery office, two men were busy reading a cemetery map and not looking where they were going and somehow accidentally bumped into Lesley and I, one man was quite elderly, the other I would of said was his son.

  “oh sorry” said Lesley and I in unison

  “no our fault, was too busy looking at the map the office gave me and wondering which direction we had to go in, not looking where we were going” said the younger man. As we continued on our way out through the cemetery gates, Lesley said to me:

  “the older man looks a bit like your Uncle Bill”

  “you mean he looks a bit like your Uncle Bill” I said with a small laugh.

  “well yes” Lesley smirked.

  “yes he does a bit”

  Lesley gave me a lift in her car and we headed towards the town centre and stopped for a coffee before we each made our separate way home, but it was not until later that evening when my suspicious mind was starting to think too much did I wonder about the elderly man we had seen in the cemetery that day. He looked a bit like Uncle Bill which both Lesley and I agreed upon but I started to think, could that of been Charles Lello in the cemetery today with one of his sons? I tried to tell myself Lindsay no don‘t be daft, he could have been anyone, but I could not shake the thought out of my head.