Voices Behind the Curtain

by Gordon Zuckerman

  When their drinks arrived, she was surprised when he failed to reach forward to raise his glass. Instead, he reached forward and clasped both of her hands in his before asking, “Natalie, I need to know if you were sensing the same kind of magic I was feeling for you at the Sentinels’ last meeting?”

  With her hands firmly clasped in his and his gaze focused on her eyes, Natalie understood this was one of those moments that could be a significant life changer. He’s expecting an honest answer.

  Withdrawing her hands, breaking eye contact, and reaching for her drink provided her with the needed opportunity to think about her answer and choose her words very carefully. With her mind made up, she slowly replaced her untouched drink on the table, reached for his hands, and after staring into his warm, brown eyes, she said, “Tony, I am so relieved to hear you were feeling the same way. I can’t remember when I have been ever so impressed by a man, interested in what he said, and felt myself so physically attracted. Like you, I have secretly been looking forward to seeing you again when jealous ex-companions are not in the room and we could talk freely.

  “But there is a problem! I don’t trust myself to begin a new relationship with somebody I suspect I really care about. When David left, I concluded I am capable of loving a man I really care about, but at the same time, I am a person who is devoted to remaining a serious solver of serious problems. It would appear, after two failed relationships, I have learned the hard way that I don’t seem to be able to pursue both at the same time. I don’t want to risk a relationship with you by becoming seriously involved.”

  Any concern she may have felt hurting Tony’s feelings with her direct reply dissipated quickly. She was surprised when he smiled, disengaged her hands, and reached for his drink. After lifting it up and inviting her to clink glasses, he said, “I’ll drink to that. Knowing how you feel about me tells me what I needed to know. It’s not my fault that Jacques and David never took the time to learn how to appreciate a fellow dreamer.

  “Before you say anything, you are not the only one sitting at this table who has destroyed an important relationship by failing to combine chasing dreams with caring about someone you really loved. You might not be aware, but when we Sentinels were attending the University of California, Claudine and I could not have been a more serious item.

  “Before we graduated, I had already started assembling land suitable for growing premium wine-quality grapes in the Napa Valley. My family needed to transfer their grape-growing and wine-making operations from Italy to the United States. Mussolini’s fascist government was beginning to confiscate some of the more valuable vineyards in Tuscany and other regions in Northern Italy, and we needed to protect our family’s heritage of fine wine production.

  “During the weeks, still suffering from a language barrier, Claudine would help me with my studies, and on the weekends, she accompanied me to Napa and helped me survey and analyze all the different properties that were for sale. I think she has carried a heavy engineering transit over more than half the hills that comprise the wine-growing regions of Napa Valley.

  “By the time we graduated, I was so involved with my dreams about creating a national premium wine-producing company, I failed to make room for her in my life. Even after she decided to remain in California and give up the brilliant European banking career that was waiting for her in Switzerland, I refused to make the time needed to better understand her needs. You have no idea how I have regretted my mistake. Ever since that time, more than 10 years ago, I have promised myself if I ever have the opportunity to fall in love with another highly intelligent, high-energy woman with serious interests, I will never make the same mistake!

  “Now that I think I have met that woman, I believe we both understand the problem. I would like to believe, since we realize that conflict that can occur between chasing dreams and pursuing interests of importance, who can better understand how it is to walk in the steps of a fellow dreamer than the two of us?”

  “I’ll drink to that. But I do have one more suggestion. Since we are both sitting in a hotel where I have a room, don’t you think this would be a good time for us to start building that relationship you have been discussing?”

  CHAPTER 46

  Jordan Sails

  NEW YORK, DECEMBER 1949

  After his return to New York, Jordan felt like a man stranded in a foreign country, not knowing anyone, not speaking the language. Thoughts about his last conversation with Mercedes continued to dominate his thinking. So many things she said really make sense. She might be right! Is knowing the path your present journey doesn’t lead to where you wish to end up represent a sufficient reason for making what will undoubtedly be a difficult and uncomfortable change?

  For the first time in his life, Jordan was finding himself in strange territory. He would ask himself, For a man who has carefully calculated, well in advance, his every move, is it possible that I am capable of initiating such a drastic change without knowing where my next journey may lead?

  He was walking along the wide passageway of the terminal carrying the white box in one hand and his overnight case in the other. His mind concentrating on other things, he failed to immediately notice as his wife stepped out of the crowd to greet him. Surprised, his first reaction was What’s she doing here? I can’t remember the last time she met me at the airport. His second thought was even more disturbing. What am I going to do if she asks me about the white box with the red ribbon? Will she think I have brought her a present? Just the vision of her reaction when she discovered the true nature of its contents made him smile.

  Watching Jordan proceed toward where she was standing, wearing such a serious look, his wife was pleased when she noticed his look of surprise when he first recognized her, immediately followed by his big smile.

  She thought she saw a sunnier, smiling man walking toward her. After they hugged in greeting, she was pleased. Maybe I did the right thing by making the effort to greet my returning warrior. Should I have been doing this before?

  Sitting in the back of the cab, the white box wedged between them, about halfway through the 30-minute drive to their apartment, she finally confronted him. “Jordan, I hoped this trip would help make things better, but you seem as distracted as you were before you left. What could possibly be going on that we can’t discuss? You used to tell me I was your best friend and your best listener.”

  Surprised by the directness of her question, Jordan felt trapped. Well aware of the white box and its contents, he said to himself, Oh, what the hell. I might as well get this over!

  “You are right. You have been my best friend for a very long time. I can only hope that as my best friend you will be able to understand why I have found it necessary to change the direction of my life. I no longer am content to live a polarized relationship with a wife whom I care very much for as a friend, but with whom I no longer share the companionship and the adventure of life that I so highly treasure. For several weeks, I have attempted to explain my problems at work. When you failed to pay attention, unconsciously, I think I began to think of you as an enemy.

  “Had I persisted, you would have learned, in an effort to best serve the needs of my clients, I voluntarily allowed myself to organize certain programs, employ ruthless private operatives, and direct the funding of activities designed to influence the introduction and passage of certain self-serving legislation. My friend, Manuel Arena, has been murdered, and the investment funds of my clients have been stolen. Now, I am being asked to approach old friends who operate the National Committees of both political parties. It will be my responsibility to determine what magnitude of political contributions will be required to influence the election of new candidates, the election of which will enable us to control the outcome of legislation considered critical to the needs of my clients.

  “Finally, I have been provided the opportunity by the Justice Department to walk away from my Manuel’s Club responsibilities, terminate my relationships with any former clients, and make
myself available to testify should it become necessary.

  “In the past, I might not have questioned what I am being asked to do. I used to believe winning at any cost represented the key to success. Now, as a result of spending many hours talking to a new friend, I have learned to appreciate the importance of dedicating one’s energies to be consistent with my own values, which will take me in a direction I wish to pursue.”

  Having finished what he had waited so long to say, Jordan let out a relieved breath, sat back, and waited for his wife’s emotional explosion. When she spoke, her voice was calm and even. “Jordan, I feel your pain. Somehow, I kept hoping things might improve. I even suspected that your trips to Washington might involve someone more than Stanley Victor, his business acquaintances, and fishing trips on his boat. Even if there was another woman involved, I was prepared to let things run their course and then do what was necessary to salvage our marriage.

  “I can’t compete with your desire for a new life. Until you discover who you are and what you want to do, there isn’t much I can do. As strange as it sounds, I’m too set in my ways to play the role of the excited, enthusiastic supporter of you, your big dreams, and your desire to paint with a big brush.”

  * * *

  SEVERAL DAYS LATER WHEN THE SHIP CARRYING J. JORDAN McWilliams sailed in front of the Statue of Liberty, it carried a man who was no longer confused or disillusioned. Standing at the rail, Jordan felt free—free to take deep breaths, free to seek out what interested him, free to use his skills and experiences to help out in situations of his choosing, free to find a new companion, one whom he could love, one who would enjoy spending quiet time with him, who wanted to meet his friends, and who would be interested in accompanying him on his new journey with a new brush. With a glass of fine champagne clasped in his hand and the white box with a red ribbon clasped in the other, he said a quiet good-bye to New York and all that it had represented to him for the last 40 years.

  He then walked around the deck to the other side of the ship, the side that faced the open sea and all it might portend. Lifting his glass, he silently wished, To whoever you are, buried deep inside me, may our journey be pleasant! In the next moment, his free arm moved quickly forward, committing the white box with the red ribbon to the depths of the sea.

  To Jordan, the experience of throwing the incriminating film over the side of the ship made him feel he had just discarded the last element of his former life. The smiling man standing by the rail for the first time in his life felt free… free to do whatever he needed to do, not fulfill someone else’s expectations.

  * * *

  BACK IN THE UNITED STATES, IT WOULD BE DIFFICULT TO IMAGINE the rage of Manuel’s Club former members created by the loss of their money, Walt Matthews’s incriminating article, and the disruption the exposure had caused inside their carefully cultivated Washington lobbying system, along with their inability to blame the now departed lawyer from Wall Street. Unfortunately, they didn’t have the luxury of indulging in self-pity. Almost daily, their attorneys were informing them about “Plan B” that required their attention if they had any hope of salvaging the introduction and passage of legislation required to fund pending military contracts. Without the appearance of any other feasible options, the stakes were too high not to consider the making of another level of expenditures and authorizing the “Voices in Front of the Curtain” to proceed.

  The problems created by Jordan’s absence began to appear. Unaccustomed to making principal decisions, the admittedly talented advisors’ energies became entangled over their inability to agree over the best possible approaches, in the changing environment of uncertainty. Who among them was prepared or qualified to do the difficult work of communicating with third parties, and avoiding possible contingent liabilities. As they continued to argue among themselves, valuable time was being lost. It was becoming increasingly apparent, when the head of the serpent had been separated from the body, the loss of leadership was causing irreparable damage . . . the kind that might take years to repair.

  CHAPTER 47

  The Retreat

  NAPA VALLEY, FEBRUARY 1950

  The Sentinels were ready to celebrate. They were proud of their accomplishments. Their success was not the kind of work that created rooting sections voicing approval. Their only source of satisfaction was derived from their mutual inner understanding of what they had done to protect the privileges of Democratic Free Enterprise from those who would abuse them.

  Mike and Jacques had prevailed upon Tony to host another reunion at their Sentinel winery in Napa, California. Consistent with historical tradition, the Sentinels and their new friends would gather together for the next 4 days and enjoy one another’s company in the serene atmosphere of the Napa Valley. Hopefully, the 4 days of rest and relaxation would provide them with the opportunity to reflect on what they had learned, to discuss their concerns about any menacing clouds that may be forming just over the horizon, and talk about what changes needed to be considered to improve their future operating capability.

  David and Juan Pablo were the only Sentinels unable to attend. David had notified Tony that his and Juan’s presence was urgently requested in Tehran, Iran. No one questioned his decision.

  What the others didn’t understand was ever since Tony and Natalie had met one night in New York, they had been spending their weekends together. One weekend in Los Angeles and one weekend in San Francisco.

  Step by step, they had been slowly building a relationship that was gradually evolving into one of deep romance. Mutually, they had decided they were comfortable enough about their feelings for each other, they were ready to expose their relationship to the other Sentinels.

  * * *

  WANTING EVERYTHING TO BE PERFECT, NATALIE PLANNED TO ARRIVE at the ranch 2 weeks ahead of the others. She needed to use the time to search out the most interesting wineries, learn about their best wines, and sample the fare in recommended restaurants. She wanted to print information regarding her choices and their agenda into a brochure, one that would describe where they would be visiting, discuss the history of each facility, and summarize the heritage of the business and its founders.

  Tony watched Natalie make full use of the days while he was attending to his regular ranch and winery duties. On her own, she would travel around the Napa Valley, locate the better vineyards and wineries, and introduce herself to their owners. She took the time to explain her relationship with Tony, and if appropriate, invite them for cocktails at some future date. It would have been impossible for them to misinterpret the actions of the famous star and their old and respected friend as anything but a friendly gesture.

  She would politely enquire if they would be willing to show her their operation, explain its heritage, and permit her to take pictures. Rather than resent her requests, they believed her interest was a reflection of Tony’s respect for them and their operation.

  Natalie spent the second week transposing all her notes, pictures, wine lists, and menus into a multipage brochure that could be easily duplicated. On the back cover, she included a map with labeled marks clearly indicating the location of each of her selected wineries and restaurants. On the inside of the front cover, she had listed descriptions of each day’s planned events. Providing professionally produced brochures for each of the Sentinels was Natalie’s way of saying how proud she was to be Tony’s “companion” and demonstrate her enthusiasm and support of his life’s dreams.

  * * *

  ON THE FIRST AFTERNOON OF THE DAY OF THEIR GUESTS’ SCHEDULED arrival, Natalie had planned the opening lunch to mimic the marketing format Tony had found so useful in introducing his new wines to national purchasers and distributors of premium wines.

  Two long, heavy, oak tables had been set end-to-end near the mouth of the cave where they used the large handmade oak casks to age their wine. From sitting positions, visiting guests could look in one direction and see the long rows of the majestically maintained barrels placed along both of the chiseled
limestone cave walls that ran deep into the mountain. Facing in the direction of the mouth of the cave, the guests were treated from an elevated position to a remarkable panoramic view of the Napa Valley, its vineyards, and its oakstudded hills framed by the pine tree-forested distant mountains.

  After Natalie would finish introducing one of the invited guest chefs, she allowed him to describe in great detail the dish he was about to serve. The chef ’s explanation allowed Tony an opportunity to follow up and describe how the distinctive elements of the particular wine would complement each of the food’s distinctive qualities the chef had described.

  Jacques, the group’s expert on wine, not for its making but for its drinking, said, “Tony, we couldn’t be more impressed by all that you have accomplished. The day you suggested that the Sentinels invest $25 million into the achieving of your dream marked the day when we knew we had lost our sanity. Now that we can see the living proof of your dreams, I, together with all the original Sentinels, would like to congratulate you on a job well done and toast to the Sentinels for their particular brand of insanity.”

  Standing up alongside Jacques, Mike said, “I would like to propose a toast to Natalie. It couldn’t be more obvious how much time and energy you have spent to ensure our enjoyment over the next 4 days.”

  Jacques, the inveterate teaser, said, “Natalie, now that we have finished recognizing all your fine work, there are some of us who would like to question your judgment. Would you mind sharing how you can be attracted to a tall, handsome, self-made, charming man who has been totally devoted to chasing his dreams? What could Tony have possibly said to convince you sharing a life with him might turn out to be a very lonely proposition?”

  Appreciating how Jacques like to introduce a bit of sarcastic humor into serious questions of care and concern, Natalie said, “Having learned my lesson the hard way, on the evening when we met in New York, I asked him the same question. When he answered, ‘Only another dreamer can understand how important it is to be sensitive and supportive of the same qualities in another person,’ I knew I was hooked. I’m just happy that I never took the opportunity to ask your question to you and David.”