Forgive & Regret

by Kaitlyn Cross

  Roman.

  “Hey you,” she said, trying to act like she didn’t just have a meltdown in her father’s arms for the first time since wiping out on her purple bike with pink tassels.

  “How are you?”

  Last night flickered through her head. “Embarrassed.”

  In his heavy silence that followed, she could hear he was on the road.

  “I’m sorry about last night,” she finally said.

  “Try telling that to my jaw. Listen, I’m about to head back to the city and I’d like to see you before I go. Are you up for a late lunch?”

  Her eyes darted around the kitchen, like there might be a clue as to how she should respond. Was he going to break it off with her? Had her drama finally reached an end with him? “Sure.”

  “Perfect! Where should we meet?”

  She glanced at the front door. “My dad just left. I’ll text you the address and hop in the shower.”

  “Sounds good.”

  Stella hung up and texted him the address before taking a speed shower upstairs, nervous anxiety bringing her down. Of course he was breaking it off. She went home with Sawyer last night and God only knows what was going through his mind. Three strikes and you’re out.

  After toweling off, she slid into her favorite pair of jeans and went to work on her hair. She tried not to think about last night as she examined her reflection in a freestanding mirror in the corner of the room. If he wasn’t coming to break up with her it was time to pick a side. She nodded to her reflection, promising change. Her reflection smiled back, on the same page.

  The doorbell rang and she went to the doorway. “Come in,” she yelled downstairs, rushing back into her room to finish getting ready.

  The front door opened and closed while Stella slipped into a yellow top and nude heels. Footsteps plodded up the staircase. She dashed inside her closet, hearing Roman stop in the bedroom doorway. “You don’t waste any time, do you?” she said, grabbing a skinny belt from a hook on the wall.

  “Never do.”

  Panic set in at the sound of his voice. She came out of the closet and cocked her head to one side, puckering her brow. “What are you doing here?”

  He shrugged with his hands in the pockets of his Diesel jeans, taking inventory of her childhood bedroom. “I wanted to see you again.”

  “This isn’t a good time.”

  He followed her eyes to the open doorway. “Expecting someone?”

  “Yes,” she blurted. “My dad.”

  “I just watched him drive away.”

  “Look, you can’t just show up here like this.”

  He smiled and stepped into the room, making her breath catch in her throat. “Can you really say you’re not happy to see me?”

  Stella backed into the bed, the last place she wanted to be with him right now. “Please, leave.”

  He stopped in front of her and Stella fell back onto the bed with a soft bounce. “Don’t worry, this won’t take long.”

  “You’re making a big mistake!”

  “Oh, I’m the one making a big mistake?” His shrill laughter gave her the chills. “No, you made the big mistake when you sent my fiancé a video of us having sex in my office, you little bitch!”

  Professor Sherman’s rise in volume struck fear into her, and by the look on his face it was obvious he came for revenge. The worst part was…she deserved it.

  Stella leaned on her elbows and spoke slowly, like she was talking to a child. “Chris, you need to stop and think about what you’re doing. You can’t just come walking in here like this.”

  He thumbed behind him. “You told me to come in; and I know exactly what am I doing.” He smacked his lips together. “Thanks to you, I’m losing my fiancé and my job at the exact same fucking time.” The fear in her eyes brought a grin to his unshaven face.

  Stella could tell it was time to come clean. “Why did you start failing me?”

  Chris’ face went blank. “Because we got caught.”

  “I know we did but you ended it; you didn’t have to flunk me as well!”

  “Ha! And take a chance of someone finding out about your generous A’s and B’s? No thanks. Everything would’ve been fine if you hadn’t gone to the board.” He paused to set his jaw, a tendon bulging in his neck. “And my fiancé.”

  “That was wrong,” she said, holding a hand up. “And I’m sorry.”

  His devilish smile made her quiver. “Oh, I’m going to teach you all about sorry,” he said, pulling a pocketknife from his jeans and flicking the blade open. “I’ll be lucky to land some shitty-ass community college job in fucking Fargo because of you!”

  Stella’s heart beat so fast her words came out on a string. “This won’t make it any better!”

  He held the blade up and turned it in the light. “Wrong again.”

  “Look, you dumped me and I was upset!” She painted on the tears.

  “No, you weren’t,” he said, voice turning grave. “You were just pissed you couldn’t use me anymore.”

  She gasped. “Oh, I was using you?”

  “We used each other!”

  Her stomach wound into tight knots as she scooted against the headboard with nowhere to go. She just needed to stall him long enough for Roman to get here, so she started spinning her intricate web. “Don’t you remember Aspen?”

  He grinned, a fond look softening his gaze. “Very well.”

  “It could still be like that,” she said, taking stock of potential weapons in the room: An old track trophy, a small lamp on the nightstand, her own two fists. “Let’s go right now and leave all of this behind. I hate it here.”

  “You and me in Aspen?” He shook his head. “I’m selling the condo.”

  “We could go somewhere else.”

  “Yeah, like right here.” Professor Sherman gestured with the knife. “This is as good a place to die as any.”

  Stella scrambled for more time. “It’s not against school policy to date a student!”

  He tilted his head to one side, indignation stirring in his eyes. “You told them I was failing you because of our severed relationship!”

  “You were!”

  “You were failing on your own!” Pointing the knife at her, he inched closer.

  “Don’t do this,” she pleaded, tears streaking her cheeks.

  He plunged the knife between her legs and buried it into the mattress, laughing like a madman.

  Stella screamed. “Chris, this isn’t you!”

  The doorbell rang, drawing Chris’s frenzied gaze. He stared out into the hall for a few seconds and slowly lowered the blade.

  “I told you,” she panted, glancing at the lamp on the nightstand again.

  He turned back to her with his eyebrows knitted together, a tension-filled silence pressing against the fuchsia blue walls. Slipping the knife back into his jeans, a pleasant smile crossed the lips she used to kiss. “We’ll catch up some other time then,” he said, leaving the room.

  “Come in!” Stella hollered, pushing herself out of bed.

  Roman opened the door and, from the top of the stairs, Stella watched him give Professor Sherman an odd look as they met in the foyer. He left the door open and turned with Chris as he passed by in a slow moving tango. Chris studied Roman, vitriol swimming in his eyes. Her veins turned to ice, making her hesitate before dashing down the winding staircase.

  Roman watched him disappear outside before turning to Stella at the bottom of the staircase, brow folding. “Who was that?”

  She shut the door and locked it, shaking all over.

  Roman took her arm and steadied her on her feet. “Are you okay?”

  She pushed past him and went to a window, carefully peeling back the curtains. A long breath left her. The professor was gone.

  “Goddammit, Stella! Who was that?”

  She moved away from the window and avoided Roman’s intense eyes. “A guy I dated at school.”

  He put his hands on his hips, pulling his jacket back enough
to show off his slim fit dress shirt beneath. “So what’s he doing here?” he asked, trying to avoid the jealously creeping into his voice.

  Stella decided to tell him everything. He deserved to know how bad of a person she really was. What scared her the most was she felt capable of so much worse. She swallowed dryly, staring into his troubled eyes. “He came to kill me.”

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Stella took a long drink of water in the kitchen, staring out the French doors overlooking the covered pool in the backyard. Raindrops pelted the lake beyond it, the houses on the other side a blur. Roman leaned against the island, eyes glued to her back, trying to process everything she just told him.

  Stella finally broke the silence making her fidget. “He was just trying to scare me.”

  “You said he had a knife!”

  Her eyes watched him in the reflection of the glass doors, afraid to meet his gaze in person. “But you scared him off.”

  “We should call the police!”

  “That is the last thing I need right now. My father will have an absolute heart attack.”

  “He could come back, Stella! And when he abducts you and kills you, guess who becomes suspect number one? Me! The mystery man who rented a lake house to be near you.”

  “Thanks for the concern.”

  A heated breath deflated his chest. “You know what I mean.”

  She kept her back to him, shrinking with the drama she could not shake. He deserved better, which is something she could never give him. “He would never hurt me,” she lied.

  Roman rubbed his forehead. “And you think he was the one who left the notes and flowers?”

  She nodded. “Had to be him.”

  “He’s stalking you, Stella.”

  For a moment, she glanced to the side and then looked back out the French doors.

  “How long did you date this guy anyway?”

  Stella blew out a long breath. “We dated for eight months.” She watched two mallards land on the end of their dock, the rain sliding off their feathers.

  Roman stood with his hands on his hips. “Did you love him?”

  A slow moving fishing boat crossed in the distance, caught in the rain. “No.”

  “So what happened?”

  Her eyes fell to the fingers she was twisting in front of her. “I did a bad thing.”

  When Stella got very quiet, Roman’s voice dropped to a whisper. “Like what?”

  Blinking a tear down her cheek, she boldly turned to meet Roman’s uneasy gaze head on. He needed to know the truth because, sooner or later, the truth always comes out. “We got caught in his office by a coworker.”

  “His office?”

  She replied with a shallow nod.

  Lines snaked through his face. “Caught doing what?”

  She stared at him without answering.

  Roman shook his head. “Oh my God.”

  “Chris immediately called the whole thing off,” she blurted, balling her hands into fists. “He’d been giving me A’s on my papers and tests and he stopped doing that too. I was already struggling in my other classes and I figured that if I was going down, I’d take him with me.”

  Roman tilted his head to the side. “What’d you do?”

  “First, I went to the school board and told them everything.” She took a deep breath and let it out. “Then I sent his fiancé a video we made in his office.”

  His eyes thinned as her words set in. “A video?”

  Heels clicking, she sat down at the island and hid behind her hands. “A bad one.”

  When there was no response, she looked up to find a sickened look wringing his face.

  “Professor of what?” he finally asked.

  She wiped away a tear. “Psychology.”

  Roman rolled his eyes. “Figures.” His gaze drifted to the lake in the distance, the pieces of a warped puzzle fitting together in his mind. When he spoke his words were low and quiet. “And now he’s back for revenge.”

  Stella massaged her face with both hands, determined never to face him again. “Yep.”

  He grew quiet and after a few seconds Stella looked up to see if he was still there. Roman leaned over and wiped a tear from her cheek with his thumb. “Do you always make men lose their minds?”

  She paused, a current of tension running through them. “Yes.”

  “I’ll have to be more careful then.”

  “You’ve been warned.”

  Roman pressed his lips together, looking her over. “Why are you telling me this?”

  “Because you need to know that you are picking the wrong flower, Roman. You can’t fix me like one of your clients.”

  He scooted a chair closer and sat down, brushing hair from her face. “Stella, I don’t want to fix you. I want to stand by your side while you fix yourself.”

  She tightened her gaze to clear her vision, studying his cleanly shaven face. “Why?” she whispered.

  He smiled, holding two fingers beneath her chin. “Because you are a thief who has stolen my heart.”

  “You could have any girl you wanted.”

  “And I intend to have you.”

  This brought a slight smile to her face.

  He took her hand in his. “Come away with me to the city for a few days.”

  Unlike with Sawyer, Stella brightened at the mention of the city.

  “I have an appointment tomorrow afternoon with a client, Mrs. Bolderdash, who won’t let anyone touch her but me. I’ll give her a couple quick Botox injections, make sure everything is up to speed with the crew, and then we’ll be free to do whatever we want.”

  Stella turned to the stainless steel fridge and let her eyes stray from focus, wondering where her mother’s powder blue fridge was at this very moment, wondering if their family picture was still attached. “I don’t know, Roman.”

  “Didn’t Hank tell you to take some time to relax?”

  “He did, but…”

  “Stella,” Roman said, leaning in closer to find her sodden gaze. “I promise this will be good for you. All you have to do is pack a bag, get in my car, and leave this place behind for a minute.”

  She frowned as if he’d just suggested a threesome with Wendy. “Are you married?”

  He sat back in his chair. “No, I’m not married.”

  “Engaged?”

  He smiled. “No.”

  “Because I’ll find out.”

  “I’m sure you would.”

  She studied his face and answered before making up her mind. “Okay.”

  His eyes opened wider. “You won’t regret it,” he said, running his fingers through her blond locks. “Although, you might want to put your hair back.”

  Her eyebrows pulled together. “Why?”

  *****

  Stella laughed when Roman gave the Shelby Cobra more gas. The wind tugged at her ponytail as the compact sports car flew down the interstate at a dangerous clip. Roman turned the heat up, sunlight beaming off his face. It was unseasonably warm but still chilly with the top down.

  He stared at her through his sunglasses and turned back to the road. “Had enough yet?” he yelled over the howling wind.

  “Never!”

  Roman smiled and pulled off into a wooded rest stop, slowing the performance engine to a purr and coolly parking into an angled spot. He turned the car off, plunging them into a profound calmness. Outside of a lone semi, the place was deserted.

  Stella fed her racing heart deep breaths of air that tasted like cotton candy. Everything was brighter. “That was fun.”

  “Sorry, I just got this car over the winter and haven’t had the chance to put the top down yet.”

  Her eyes ran over the purist dashboard before gliding over the polished chrome accents and thin steering wheel wrapped in the same soft leather as the dash. She felt like she’d stepped into a time machine and teleported back to nineteen sixty-five without the distractions of cell phones and internet to make you miss the moment. “It’s so beautiful,” she
said, running her fingers over the carpeted console between them.

  “Thank you,” he said, resting a hand on the gear shift. “It was too good a deal to pass up.”

  She set her hand on his and stared at him over her sunglasses. “Thank you for doing this.”

  “You don’t have to twist my arm to enjoy the company of a beautiful woman.”

  “I can’t wait to see where you live,” she said, leaning over and planting a soft peck on his lips.

  “Almost there.”

  “I want to know more about you.”

  “I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”

  Her eyes tapered as she considered the offer. “How many women have you seduced like this before?”

  “Well, time to hit the bathroom,” he said, popping his door open.

  She gently slapped his arm, melting at the touch of his firm bicep. “Jerk.”

  “You coming?”

  “No, I’m okay.”

  She watched him remove a nylon top from the trunk and snap it into place over the roll bars planted behind the seats, blocking out the sun like a slow moving cloud. “Be right back,” he smiled, heading for the restrooms.

  Stella sighed and checked her hair in the mirror, anticipation making her fidget as she imagined what his place must look like. It was true. She wanted to know everything about him. Her cell phone rang, waking her from her daydream. She retrieved it from her bag and stared at the screen, crimping her brow. After a quick peek at the restrooms, she answered. “Hello?”

  “What’s up, beautiful?”

  Her heart threw itself against her ribcage at the sound of his voice. “Hi.”

  “Jase and I are knocking out that kitchen wall tomorrow morning and I was hoping you could stop by for a quick look before we do.”

  “Sawyer, I already did.”

  “Yeah but, I’m wondering if we should go with an island in the middle of the kitchen like we talked about, or demo half the wall and slap a granite breakfast bar on it instead.”

  “I would definitely go with the island. It’ll be a bigger workspace.” She paused. “And demo the whole wall.”

  “Maybe you could stop by later today and take a quick look before we destroy the place? Just to be safe.”