Silent Crescendo

by Catherine George

  'No!'

  Judith thought she realised the problem. 'Are you afraid I'll hurt your throat?'

  'Of course not—it is not my throat which troubles me, you stupid girl.' Suddenly he twisted round and pulled her on the bed beside him, staring into her startled eyes as he clamped her tightly to him. 'I may be just another arrangement of muscles and sinews to you Judith, but your hands are driving me insane!'

  Judith stared, speechless, into his eyes, where flames literally burned as he stared into hers. He turned on one side, drawing her full length against him, and through the thick denim and thin cotton that separated them the reason for his disquiet was immediately obvious, his arousal an urgent, living presence. Her mouth dried and her eyes widened to dark, shining discs of suspense as very slowly he moved a little to free a hand sufficiently to flick each of her shirt buttons free of its mooring, pausing between each one to wait, his eyes questioning before he moved on to the next. Held in thrall by his nearness Judith said nothing at all, lying motionless as he slid the shirt from her shoulders and let it fall to the floor. Rafael's face was austere and taut, no hint of the performer now. This was the basic man in the grip of a need that some part of Judith's mind recognised as total. Against the urgency of the physical desire rising inside her any doubts or reservations were suddenly irrelevant. Nothing on earth mattered at this moment but the deep need to be loved, and to give everything of herself in return.

  The mutual spell held them in breathless silence as his fingers moved caressingly over her bare shoulders, cupping them, sliding over her shoulderblades to the small clip between them to unfasten and discard the last barrier between her skin and his. Instantly their breathing quickened, shallow and uneven, a rhythm that moved Judith's breasts in soft, ravishing friction against his chest, Rafael's eyes drawn in fascination to their motion, his gaze a burn she felt on her skin. She was conscious of her nipples unfolding, erecting in response to the almost tactile caress of his eyes, but still he held her upper arms and just looked at her, his square white teeth clenched together as he ran his eyes over her body. The tension built unbearably inside Judith and suddenly he moved, pulling the ribbon from her hair and pushing her flat, his mouth a sudden, avid demand on hers. She was ready for him, a hunger in her response that sent him wild as her hands moved constantly over his back and shoulders, nothing remotely impersonal now in their touch as she gave herself up with joy to his embrace, yielding utterly in a fusion of lips and tongues and mingled breath. Breathing soon became difficult, and Rafael's mouth released hers and began to rove, following a downward path in the wake of his caressing fingers to seek her pointing nipples, his lips and tongue teasing until she writhed in gasping silence, liquid fire running through her entire body at his touch.

  Judith shook her head violently in blind entreaty as his caresses stopped, but his pause was only to strip off their remaining covering until they were moulded together in full contact at last, lying motionless for a moment or two to taste the sensation before Rafael resumed his voyage of discovery. His progress was torturingly slow, a savouring of every last inch of her as his mouth and hands moved in a passionate pere­grination to the tips of her toes and back again. When at long last his mouth finally returned to hers, his kiss was different, even more urgent than before. 'Judith?' he questioned huskily, and she answered him wordlessly, arching her body to receive his.

  They came together with a finality that consumed every last iota of energy in their bodies in the mutual conflagration. Afterwards they fell deeply asleep in each other's arms, lost to the world for hours, until a watery afternoon sun sent a glow into the room and Judith stirred reluctantly. Rafael's arms tightened at once, holding her still.

  'Mi amor,' he murmured softly, and turned her face up to his for a brief, gentle kiss as ravishing in its own way as the more urgent caresses of before.

  'We should get up,' suggested Judith without conviction.

  'Why?'

  'It must be late …'

  'So?'

  'Oh well, if you're tired—' She slid deeper under the duvet and put her parted mouth against his chest.

  'I said nothing of feeling tired, querida.' There was a breathless, laughing note in his voice as his teeth caught in her earlobe and his fingers wound possessively in her hair.

  'If we are not tired,' Judith said primly, 'we should not be in bed.'

  'And what shall we do if we get up?' demanded Rafael. 'I warn you I have no intention of chopping wood.'

  Judith moved a little to look up at him in concern.

  'Are you still sore?'

  'No. I have been cured-—one way and another.' His eyes gleamed at her. 'Do not, I command, use the same method with anyone else.'

  Her eyes narrowed. 'Command?'

  Rafael shrugged. ' "Plead" is better?'

  'Not characteristic—but better.' Judith smiled at him lazily and clasped her hands behind her head. His eyes dilated as they watched her.

  'Don't,' he said huskily. it calls attention to that part of you which already keeps me awake at night.'

  Judith dropped her arms hastily and turned her head away, suddenly absurdly shy. 'I must get up,' she said breathlessly.

  'Not yet.' Rafael drew her into his arms and laid his rough cheek against hers. 'Was it good for you, querida?' His voice deepened to a caressing note that made her shiver involuntarily.

  'You know very well it was—and for you?'

  'Un milagro—a miracle. The most wonderful ex­perience of my life.'

  'Of which there have been many such experiences, Don Rafael!'

  'I would lie if I said otherwise, alas.' He held her away from him, his eyes searching. 'Does it spoil it for you, Judith? To know there have been other women?'

  'No,' she said, meeting his eyes candidly. 'I'd be a fool if it did.' She smiled impishly. 'Perhaps I should be grateful to them for contributing to your expertise!'

  'Bruja!' He shook her hard and kissed her until Judith pushed him away and leapt out of bed clutching her clothes to her as she fled from the room. 'Come back!' he yelled, searching wildly for something to cover his nakedness.

  'I'm hungry,' she called, and shut herself in her room.

  Ten minutes later, bathed and dressed, they met in the kitchen and went into each other's arms as naturally as if it were a life-long habit. They heated the left-over soup together and ate it with bread and cheese and endless cups of coffee, talking and talking, the floodgates open as they explored each other's minds with as much urge to learn as their bodies had experienced earlier.

  'We have more in common than I would ever have imagined,' admitted Judith at one stage, as they discovered a mutual passion for following tennis and athletics, reading spinechillers and crime novels, watching Western films, eating good food.

  'And in one respect we function in most perfect accord,' said Rafael, his eyes glowing as he caressed the hand he held.

  'But that isn't enough for—' Judith stopped, confused.

  'A basis for a relationship?' he suggested gently.

  They looked long into each other's eyes before Judith nodded slowly.

  'Yes. Mutual interests last longer than sex.'

  'Is that what we experienced, Judith? Just sex?' The glow died and his eyes grew sombre.

  'You would know more about it than me, I grant you.' Judith looked away. How could she say that for her it had been everything any woman could ever wish for, passion and tenderness and a final savagery that had taken every part of her by storm.

  'I know more, yes, but I am talking about feelings, little one. Was mere physical sensation the only thing you felt when we were together?' Rafael was relentless.

  'No,' said Judith baldly, and got up to clear away, ignoring his triumphant smile as he allowed her to change the subject to the more mundane matter of what they should eat for dinner. When they sat over a simple meal of omelettes and salad much later that night Judith said, after some hesitation'.

  'How long are you going to stay prisoner, Ra
fael?'

  Rafael looked up from his meal, his eyes questioning.

  'You mean within this house, Judith?'

  'Not exactly, but it'll do for starters.'

  He frowned. 'I suppose we could go out in the car if you would be willing to play chauffeur in your little Morris. I was stupid to drive down here in the Lotus—the anaesthetic must have affected my thinking powers. It simply never occurred to me that a less noticeable vehicle would be better once I was here on my own; I just followed Bryn down and have not been out since. He did all the shopping while he was here.'

  'I heard, down at the Anchor.'

  'Did anyone suspect I was staying with him, do you think?'

  Judith shook her head, giving him a crooked little grin.

  'I don't want to puncture your ego, Rafael, but I have a feeling Brynmor Tudor is much more of a celebrity in this part of the world than ever you were.'

  Rafael laughed good-humouredly. 'And so he should be. He's the home-grown product, no?'

  'Would you like to go out tomorrow?' persisted Judith. 'We could penetrate into deepest Dyfed, walk for a bit. It would do you good—you must be stir-crazy by this time.'

  'For you—anything, chica. There is an old tweed hat of Bryn's on a hook in the back kitchen, and a truly disreputable jacket he wears for the fishing. I brought my own boots, and of course I shall wear the indispensable dark glasses.' Rafael leaned forward to kiss the tip of her nose, then cheerfully washed dishes while Judith made coffee, mentally warning herself sternly not to be so happy, to remember that this was just playing house, a little diversion to be taken lightly.

  'You could wear the black track-suit and that terrifying ski-helmet thing of yours,' she suggested with a sly grin. 'You'd probably scare half the local populace to death, but at least no one would know who was doing it!'

  He laughed uproariously and seized her round the waist, kissing her hard. 'Come,' he said imperiously. 'We will play backgammon again, and tonight the victor chooses the prize.'

  Judith failed to win a single game, and had to admit defeat after only two.

  'Infuriating,' she said crossly, and eyed her glass of brandy with hostility. 'I'll remember to avoid alcohol in future—it doesn't improve my game. Either that or you were cheating!'

  Rafael turned eyes of limpid innocence on her and laid a hand on his heart. 'How could you even think such a thing, querida!'

  'H'm.' Judith was unconvinced. 'And what prize had you in mind, anyway?'

  'Since you accuse me of cheating,' he said with arrogance, 'I shall not trouble to claim one.'

  Judith stared at him blankly as he put the backgammon set away, gave her a graceful bow and bade her good night with formality. She watched him leave the room with a hint of swagger, feeling forlorn as she collected their glasses and took them to the kitchen. She could hardly believe that Rafael had actually taken himself off in a huff over such a little thing. When she went upstairs she looked at his door for a moment, then passed by with her chin lifted. To hell with him. In her room she cleansed her face with a vigour that left it glowing, and brushed her hair until it crackled and sparked like an extension of her bad temper. She pulled on her nightgown and was just turning down the bed when she saw the door opening slowly. Deciding it was probably one of those errant draughts Rafael had talked about she went irritably to close it, nearly dying of fright at the apparition in the hall, all in black and with the all too familiar mask. Judith screamed and banged the door shut in sharp, instinctive terror, her fright turning to unadulterated fury as Rafael charged through the doorway, tearing off the helmet in consternation as she turned on him like an avenging angel.

  'Never, never, never do that again, you—you…' Almost beside herself with rage she pummelled his broad chest, breathless with the desire to lash out at him.

  'Judith, mi amor! I am sorry, sorry. Forgive me, please. It was a joke—I thought you would laugh.' With an effort Rafael caught her flailing fists and held her fast, his powerful arms holding her still, frustrating her savage efforts to be free. To her horror Judith began to cry and Rafael became utterly frantic. 'Please! Judith, querida, do not weep, I implore you, hush, little one, mi amor, mi corazón…' He cradled her to his chest, lapsing into a stream of liquid Spanish intended to soothe and comfort. After a while she calmed down, leaning limply against him.

  'I thought it was you when I was attacked,' she said hoarsely at last, 'that's why I was taken by surprise. I really thought it was you, but it was him—'

  Rafael took in a deep shuddering breath. 'What can I say, Judith? I grovel at your feet—see!' In one fluid, graceful movement Rafael went down on his knees, face turned up to hers in passionate sup­plication, and in spite of herself Judith's tears turned to laughter.

  'God, you're impossible—get up you melodramatic idiot Which role are you playing now, may I enquire?'

  He leapt to his feet and stood staring down at her, a look in his eyes she recognised with sudden excitement. The smooth silk of her nightgown was suddenly restricting across her breasts, and her lips parted, the tears dried by the heat of her cheeks.

  'I assure you I'm not playing, Judith.' Rafael's voice was rougher, deeper as he reached out a hand and touched her lower lip with a long forefinger. Instinctively her teeth closed gently on his fingertip and his eyes dilated. The naked question in them quickened her already hammering pulse. 'I want my prize now, querida.'

  'Even though you cheated?' she said unsteadily.

  'I would do far worse to achieve my desire, mi amor—and you are my desire. You know only too well it has been so from our first meeting.' Rafael drew her slowly into his arms, running a loving hand down her spine, suddenly jerking her hips hard against him, his other hand sliding into her hair to bring her parted mouth to his. Judith's knees gave and she melted against him pliantly, yielding to his mouth and hands so completely that almost without knowing how they got there they were together in the wide double bed in a breathless, hot excited world of their own, with no thoughts of past or future allowed to intrude into the wonder that was now.

  During the days that followed they tramped the remote green hills beyond Morfa by day, returning to evenings by the fire and long, rapturous nights in the big bed, occupying a dream world of their own, an enchanted time unlike any experience in Judith's existence before. The few people encountered on their walks took little interest in them beyond a polite greeting, and Judith did any shopping necessary alone in Cardigan, hurrying through the chore as rapidly as possible, grudging every second she spent apart from Rafael. A couple of guarded telephone calls to Honor to assure her all was well, and a postcard of Morfa beach sent to her father and mother were all the communication Judith made with the outside world.

  One evening, Rafael joined her on the hearthrug, kissing her mouth with a lingering tenderness. 'I am deeply conscious of my debt to you, querida,' he muttered against her skin.

  'Don't talk of debts, Rafael.' Judith's dark eyes were luminous as she looked into his. 'You have no obligation to me of any kind. I came because I was very worried about you, and I stayed because you wanted me to, and because I wanted to just as much. I had no idea that things would—would happen the way they have, I'll admit.'

  'Do you regret this?'

  'How could I? These past few days have been idyllic; the happiest of my life.'

  Rafael sat straight, putting her a little away from him so he could face her, his voice suddenly urgent.

  'Then marry me, Judith!'

  She sat motionless, her dark eyes wide with shock.

  'Marry you, Rafael! But—but—'

  'But what?' There was stormy entreaty in his look. 'You do not care enough for me? I am too old? I cannot sing any more I know—'

  'Stop, stop,' she implored. 'I don't care a button whether you can sing or not. And you know only too well that I care. I couldn't, I mean I wouldn't—oh stop looking at me like that, Rafael. God knows if this is how you make love at your advanced stage of decrepitude I think it's ju
st as well I didn't know you when you were a young stud—Rafael!'

  The rest of her protest was lost against his mouth as he hauled her across his knees and kissed her until she moaned for mercy.

  'Then say yes,' he muttered, his mouth roaming over her face, his teeth nibbling delicately at her earlobe. 'A small word, chica. Very easy to say, no? Say it, say it!'

  Judith pushed him away with a superhuman effort, shaking back her tangled hair.

  'Now steady on a bit, Rafael.' She held him off as he would have pulled her close again. 'No, please. I can't think rationally when you touch me. And I'd like to clarify a few points.'

  Rafael sat upright, folding his arms across his chest.

  'See, I am good. Now what is it that troubles you?'

  'When you talk of marriage,' Judith began hesitantly, 'just what precisely do you mean?'

  He frowned at her, his brows drawn together in surprise.

  'It means something different in this country from mine? You and me, Judith. Together for life. A home, children if we are fortunate. The normal things anyone expects from marriage, no?'

  'Where would we live? Your house in Spain?'

  'If you wish. Or anywhere else you like—'

  'And I would have to give up my job?'

  'That, definitely.' His face darkened. 'I do not enjoy the thought of you touching other men, however old they are, or ill. This must stop.'

  Judith's full mouth took on rather a set look.

  'I see. And what will you do, Rafael? If you can't sing any more how do you propose to fill your life?'

  He shrugged. 'Grow olives, write my autobiography, play with my children, make love with you. An idyll, no?'

  'No,' said Judith positively.

  They stared at each other for a moment.

  'You mean that?' he demanded harshly.

  She nodded. 'Think about it, Rafael—'

  'Do you think I have not?' he retorted bitterly. 'Since I have been certain my voice would never be the same I have done little else but think. I was almost crazy from thinking by the time you arrived.'

  'Then how can you even imagine that the life you mapped out could ever be enough for you—or me?' Judith put out a hand imploringly. 'You're accustomed to a frantically busy, demanding public life, and I'm used to quite a demanding job myself. Neither of us cares very much for inactivity. So how could we go off and live some idle, lotus-eating existence in your castle in Spain with any possible hope of being happy?'