The Patchwork Bride

by Sandra Dallas

  “Stay inside,” Buddy said as he stepped past her with a bucket in his hands. In a few minutes he was back, the bucket filled with snow. He set it beside the fireplace, then lit the fire, watching it carefully to make sure the smoke didn’t back up. “This snow’ll melt, and we’ll have drinking water,” he said, going back outside to bring in more wood. “I wish we had us some canned tomatoes. They’re as good as water when you’re thirsty, better sometimes.”

  Nell followed. She could carry the kindling, too. But Buddy told her to go back inside before she took a wrong step and disappeared in the whiteout. Nell thought she wouldn’t do that, but after the mistakes she’d made that day, she didn’t argue. She stared at Buddy’s broad back as he went into the snow, thinking how glad she was he would take care of her, thinking how much she loved him.

  After Buddy stacked the wood, he checked the fire again and said he thought the chimney was good. “A bird’ll built its nest on a chimney top, and that’ll cause the smoke to back up,” he explained. “I’d sure hate to have to climb up there and to knock it off.”

  “Maybe I’d do it,” Nell said, giving Buddy a sly look.

  Buddy caught her meaning and laughed. “Maybe in all this snow, I couldn’t see how high up I was.”

  The fire was warm now, and Nell moved away from it to a broken stool. Buddy unrolled his bedroll and made a cushion for her, and she sat down.

  “My blanket!” she said suddenly. “My blanket was on Bean. What am I going to do?”

  “I reckon you can use mine.”

  “That wouldn’t be fair. It’s my fault. I spooked Bean.”

  “Maybe he’ll come back.”

  Maybe, Nell thought, but it wasn’t likely. She sat staring into the fire for a long time, not knowing how late it was, although she thought it might be close to evening. When Buddy went outside to fill the water bucket with more snow, she saw blackness through the doorway, but that could have been the storm.

  “Are you hungry?” Buddy asked. He went to the table, where he had placed the sack of food. Nell had packed cookies and apples, along with half a dozen sandwiches, one of which he removed and broke in two, handing half to her. “We better go easy on eating since we don’t know how long we’ll be here,” he said. He returned the food to his saddlebags so the mice wouldn’t get it.

  They ate their sandwiches slowly, making them last, and drank water from a tin cup Buddy found on a shelf.

  “If I’d brought a guitar, I could have played it for you—that is, if I knew how to play a guitar,” Buddy said with a laugh.

  “Can you sing?”

  “Every cowboy can sing. We sing to the cattle. It’s just that most of the boys can’t hold a tune.”

  “Can you?”

  Instead of answering, Buddy began to sing “The Cowboy’s Lament.” His voice was soft, but it was clear, and he hit the right notes. After the first verse, Nell joined in. She had a strong voice.

  “Where’d you learn that song, Miss Nell?”

  “Oh, I heard some cowboy singing it in the bunkhouse.”

  “Probably Wendell.”

  “More likely you.”

  “Do you know this one?” He began “There’ll Be a Hot Time in the Old Town Tonight,” then sang it alone, because Nell had not heard it before.

  When Buddy was finished, he unfolded his blanket and spread it before the fire, and the two sat down on it. “How about ‘Lorena’?” she asked. “Everybody knows that one.” And the two began singing it together, Nell doing the harmony. For a long time they sang hymns and popular songs.

  “This is what it’ll be like when we’re married,” Buddy said, and he put his arms around Nell.

  She snuggled up beside him. “Only we’ll have a cookstove. And a bed.” She yawned, and Buddy said he reckoned it was time to sleep.

  Where? Nell wondered. She had put the idea of bedding down with him in the cabin out of her mind, but now she wondered just what their arrangement would be. They’d have to share the room, of course. Buddy had kissed her—kissed her often and held her close—but he’d never done anything more than that. Nothing would happen until they were marred. They hadn’t talked about that, but it was understood—at least on her part. She supposed Buddy could hang his blanket across the room for privacy, but it was cold, and there was only one blanket. So that wouldn’t make sense.

  “I guess you’ll be wanting the blanket over you,” he said.

  “It’s not my blanket,” she told him.

  “Well, I’m not going to let you freeze. You put your coat under you, and cover up with the blanket.”

  “What will you do?”

  “I guess I’ve slept in my coat before.”

  Nell knew she should protest, but she was cold. The fire was still blazing, but wind blew through the cabin where the chinking had fallen out, and snow had sifted through the cracks. “Maybe we should share the blanket,” she said at last.

  “It makes sense,” he said. “I reckon if it was Wendell, I’d share it with him.” He chuckled. “I’m sure glad it’s not Wendell.” He spread their coats on the floor, and they lay down, their backs against each other, the blanket over them. Buddy had built up the fire, but even so, Nell was cold, and she couldn’t sleep. She lay there a long time, her teeth chattering, moving around to get warm. And then she felt Buddy turn and put his arms around her, holding her tight. She relaxed a little, warming her body against his, and in a little while, he turned her toward him so that she nestled in his arms. Her face was against his, and she felt his lips on her forehead and then on her eyes and finally on her mouth.

  His arms moved over her, touching her. She should push him away, Nell thought. They weren’t married yet. They should wait. But she didn’t want him to stop. She wasn’t cold any longer, and she wanted him, wanted him in a way she knew wasn’t right, but she didn’t care. She helped him remove her clothes, and then he stripped off his, and he held her close, murmuring so softly that she didn’t understand the words. She felt his body harden, and he grasped her so tightly she couldn’t move.

  When they were finished, they lay in each other’s arms, their bodies pressed against each other. And Nell thought she had never in her life felt so warm.

  * * *

  Nell awoke when the door opened and fresh air rushed into the room. There were no windows in the cabin, so she didn’t know whether the blizzard was over. But when she looked out the door, she saw the sun glinting off snow.

  “Storm’s done with, and guess who’s back?” Buddy said from the doorway. He held a blanket in his hands.

  “Bean!”

  “He was standing just outside when I went out.” He paused and gave her a sly look. “I’m kind of glad he didn’t come back last night.”

  Nell blushed as she went to the door, thinking of what had happened in the night. She felt shy and a little embarrassed. Everything seemed different in the bright sunlight. She wondered if Buddy would talk about the night. “Are the cattle still there?” she asked, when Buddy didn’t say anything.

  “Right there in the trees.”

  “Are we going to herd them back to the ranch?”

  “I reckon that’s why we came.”

  “We ought to go. Lucy will be worried.”

  Buddy nodded, but he led Nell back into the room. The fire was blazing, and she thought he had built it up before she awoke. “I guess we’ve got some things to say.”

  Nell looked away. She wondered if they had done a terrible thing and Buddy was disappointed in her. He might think Charlie was right, that she was indeed a chippie, a loose woman. He might even say he didn’t want to marry someone who was so easy, someone he didn’t respect anymore.

  Buddy put his arms around her, then tipped up her face so that he was looking into her eyes. “Maybe we ought to move up our wedding day. What say we get married in the fall instead of next winter?”

  Nell grinned at him. “I’d like that just fine.”

  CHAPTER NINE

  Lucy came int
o Nell’s room one afternoon not long after Nell returned from the mountains and confided she and Buddy were going to marry. She had hoped to keep the engagement secret for a time. But Lucy informed Mr. Archer, who forgot it was a secret and congratulated Buddy at supper that night, and the word was out. The cowboys were happy, because Buddy was a favorite among them, and they liked Nell. No one was surprised, though; Nell wouldn’t be the first hired girl to marry a Rockin’ A hand.

  No one but Alice and Owen, it seemed. “I hope you’re happy you broke my brother’s heart, Miss Hired Girl. You should be ashamed of yourself, leading Owen on like that,” Alice told Nell when they ran into each other in Las Vegas. Then she added, “You certainly set your cap for my boyfriend. Well, he isn’t married yet. I didn’t come home all the way from New York to see him hitch himself to some cook’s helper. There’s still time for him to come to his senses.”

  Nell was too shocked to think of a response. Not until she was on her way home did it occur to her that she should have said that Buddy had indeed come to his senses. That was why he had proposed to her instead of Alice.

  Now Lucy sat down on the edge of Nell’s bed and handed her a flour sack. Nell reached inside and removed a length of fabric. “My aunt Mary, your grandmother’s sister, cut out this dress long ago,” Lucy explained. “She was going to wear it at her wedding, but her fiancé was killed in the War Between the States. Aunt Mary never married, and she never finished the dress. The style is old-fashioned, but I believe we could remake it as a wedding dress for you.” Lucy spread out pieces of fragile white silk on the bed, some of them overlaid with lace. “The lace is handmade. It might have been old even back then.”

  Nell ran her fingers over the thin silk.

  “Aunt Mary probably intended to wear it with a hoop skirt. Look at how much material there is. But the bodice is a nice cut, and I believe it would fit you. Aunt Mary was tall like you.” Lucy smoothed the top of the dress, its seams held together by pins that were rusty with age.

  “It’s beautiful,” Nell said. “I would love to wear it.”

  Lucy smiled. “I thought I might wear it myself one day, but I won’t.” She paused. “Some might think it bad luck wearing a wedding dress made for a woman whose intended died, but I don’t hold with that.”

  “Me either,” Nell said. “In fact, I think it might honor Aunt Mary to wear her gown. I remember her. There was always something sad about her.”

  “And sour, after she got older. She told me once that without a husband, she felt incomplete. She thought of herself as a failure.”

  Nell stared at her aunt. “And you? Do you feel that way, Aunt Lucy?” Nell turned away, embarrassed at her impertinence. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said—”

  “Sad? Sour? Not at all,” Lucy interrupted. “I have the benefits of marriage without the fuss.” She gave Nell a look of defiance. “Marriage is fine for most women, but some of us can get along without it.” Then she added, “I’m not sure you’re one of ‘us.’”

  After Lucy left, Nell picked up each piece of the dress and studied it. She would change the sleeves a little and rework the skirt, making it less full. She reached into the bottom of the sack and pulled out a crumpled piece of lace. It was indeed very fine, and Nell thought she could wear it instead of a hat. She hadn’t even thought about a wedding dress—instead, she had begun making a wedding quilt for Buddy—and here was one already cut out for her. Of course, the dress would take work, but there was plenty of time. She and Buddy wouldn’t be married for months. Her grandparents would come to the wedding. Nell was sure of that. They and Lucy were the only family she had, and it meant everything to her that they would all be together. They would invite the Rockin’ A cowboys and ranch families who had been nice to her, along with people in town. They would invite the Mackintoshes, too, even Alice. Especially Alice, Nell thought.

  She wanted the wedding to be held at the ranch. They’d stand with the minister on the portico, decorated with golden aspen, and Nell would carry a bouquet of chamisa and purple asters and daisies. She’d wear her great-aunt’s gown with the piece of old lace on her head. Lucy would stand up with her, and Mr. Archer or maybe Wendell would be the best man.

  * * *

  Nell was aware that war was coming. They all were. Everyone on the Rockin’ A knew that the USS Maine had been blown up in the harbor in Cuba and that the newspapers blamed the Spanish. Everyone was calling for the government to drive them out of Cuba. But Cuba was so far away that the cowboys hadn’t paid all that much attention to the war talk, and Nell had been too engrossed in Buddy and the ranch to give it a thought.

  Then at supper one night, Mr. Archer announced he’d heard the army was recruiting cowboys from New Mexico Territory to join the 1st U.S. Volunteer Cavalry, which would invade Cuba.

  “Cowboys?” Wendell asked. “How come cowboys?”

  “I guess they don’t want no eastern dudes that never slept anyplace but a feather bed. Cowboys can ride and shoot and roll up at night on the ground. If you had to choose between a cowpuncher and a greener, who’d you pick?” Mr. Archer replied.

  “You’re right about that,” Wendell said.

  “Now, I’d hate to see any of you boys go, but I got to do my patriotic duty and tell you if you want to join up, I’ll hold your jobs open till you come back.” He added, “I hear Willy Burden’s already volunteered.”

  “Willy? He just got married,” one of the hands said, which caused snickers around the table.

  “I wonder if he don’t like married life,” Monty said.

  “He’s a red-blooded American with a wife to come home to,” Buddy told him.

  “Then maybe you ought to get hitched to Nell right now, if you’re thinking of joining up,” Wendell replied.

  “Maybe I will.”

  Nell glanced at Buddy, but he wouldn’t look at her. He’d never told her he was thinking of joining the army. They’d never talked about it. They hadn’t even talked about the USS Maine being blown up or the possibility that America would go to war. She couldn’t stand it if he left. He might get killed. She wouldn’t let him go. Nell thought of the aunt whose wedding dress she would wear and how her fiancé had been killed in a war, and she wondered if the gown was some kind of omen. She would never let that happen to Buddy. Ever. When he asked her about joining the army, she would tell him no.

  * * *

  Buddy left the table as soon as supper was over. He had work to do in the barn. And in the morning he left just after he bolted breakfast. Mr. Archer was sending him into Las Vegas to pick up supplies. Nell had hoped to be invited to go with him, but neither Buddy nor Mr. Archer suggested she accompany him, and Nell, afraid she would be turned down, didn’t request the time off.

  Buddy returned late in the afternoon, and at supper, he announced that Owen Mackintosh was joining the army. People were calling the unit Roosevelt’s Rough Riders. “It will be the most exciting adventure since the War Between the States,” he said.

  “Are you joining up, then?” one of the cowhands asked Buddy.

  He glanced at Nell. “I just might.”

  Without talking to me? Nell wanted to ask, but with others at the table, she couldn’t protest. “Well, let me know,” she said, sure that everyone heard the displeasure in her voice.

  She thought Buddy would seek her out after dinner, but he went off with Wendell to doctor a horse, and it was the next day before they talked. Nell was on the porch churning butter.

  “They don’t let just anybody join the Rough Riders, but Mr. Archer knows a man. He’s sure I can get in. If they’ll take Owen Mackintosh, they’ll surely want me.”

  “How did you know about Owen?”

  “Alice told me.”

  “Oh, you’ve seen Alice?” Nell tried to keep the anger out of her voice.

  “Well, sure. I stopped at the Mackintosh house to say hello. You aren’t jealous, are you?”

  “No more than you are of Owen.” Nell gave the churn a vicious whack,
knowing she was indeed jealous. She didn’t trust Alice, and she wondered now if she trusted Buddy. She and Buddy weren’t married yet. He could still change his mind.

  Buddy frowned. “You’ve seen Owen? Maybe you already knew about him going for a soldier.”

  “And Alice, did you tell her you were thinking of joining the army before you told me?”

  Buddy didn’t answer. Instead, he said, “Come on, Nell. I thought you’d be right proud if I joined up. It’s a chance to do a little pirooting before I settle down.”

  “And me, do I get to do a little pirooting, too?”

  Buddy looked startled. “You’re a woman.”

  “I’d think you would have talked to me before you made a decision.”

  “You mean I got to ask your permission?” He reached for the churn, but Nell held on to it.

  “You don’t have to ask me for anything. You just suit yourself.” The churning was done, and Nell poured the buttermilk into a pitcher so fast that it slopped over the side. Then she took the butter to the sink, where she washed and salted it. She wouldn’t let Buddy help her.

  “Give here,” He yanked the butter from her and put it into the icebox. “You’re one stubborn woman.”

  Nell glared at him.

  “I take it we don’t think alike on several points, but it sounds like you’re telling me what to do. I wouldn’t abide a wife who did that.”

  “But you tell me what to do.” She removed the butter and put it into a wooden mold.

  “I disremember telling you anything. Besides, so what if I did? A husband’s got the right.”

  “Not my husband,” Nell said.