“God I miss you so much, babe... ”
“Gage, I—” he lightly presses his fingertips to my lips.
“I need to ask you one question, Lyra. And then I promise I’ll never mention him again. Did you love him because he saved your life?”
I didn’t think my heart could possibly break any more than it already has, but seeing the pain reflected in his eyes just tears me apart. “Not one day went by that I didn’t think of you. I missed you with every fiber of my being. But you weren’t there and I never thought I’d ever see you again. I’m so sorry, Gage. If I could do it all over again, I wouldn’t have been so weak…”
“Stop. You’re not weak, Lyra. Far from it. In fact, you’re one of the strongest women I’ve ever known. Especially after everything he put you through.” I want to close my eyes and melt against him when Cody decides to get in on the action.
“Cody! Argh, you’re all wet and sandy. Get down!” I’m trying desperately to brush myself off when Gage throws his head back, laughing. “It’s not funny. Now I have to give her a bath.”
I’m caught off guard when Gage wraps his arms around me and whispers, “Who’s going to give you a bath, Lyra?”
What? Oh, good lord! One minute we’re discussing ‘Ryker’ and the next, Gage wants to give me a bath? Seriously? My mind’s screaming at me to say no but my body remembers all too well what it was like to be loved by this man. He’s such a gentle and caring lover and has always been sensitive to my needs. Always. I desperately want to be intimate with him again. But I’m afraid it will conjure up all sorts of memories of Ryker and me.
Gage quickly eases the sexual tension. “Why don’t you bring Cody around to the outdoor shower and I’ll go get her shampoo. Then I’ll help you wash her since I’m the one who let her chase the waves. Sound good?”
Yeah, it sounds great. But I don’t want to get my hopes up in case he leaves at the end of the day. Which reminds me. “I didn’t see your truck when I pulled in. How’d you get here?”
“I just needed to think, so I decided to go for a walk. An hour later I found myself here. I didn’t know where you were or when you’d be back, so I decided to let her out. Big mistake, huh?”
My chest feels like it’s about to explode. I want to ask him. What’s a mistake, Gage? Letting her out or walking here to see me? No, no, no. I don’t want to know. The important thing is he’s here. We’ll leave it at that. Instead of answering him, I stand on my tiptoes and press my lips to his cheek. “I’ll get her ready, while you get the shampoo.”
Gage
What the fuck am I doing? I’m such an idiot! I came here today to talk to her, not seduce her. Fuck! I still love her.
I love Lyra Rose Harper. There, I’ve said it and I mean every damn word. So, the quicker I say what I came here to say, the better it will be. For the both of us.
I haven’t been able to take my eyes off of her since she started walking away. But before she disappears around the corner, she turns to say, “It wasn’t a mistake, Gage. I’m glad you came.” My heart slams against my chest when a beautiful smile sweeps across her face. Yeah, now I’m wearing a shit-eating grin too. I’m so screwed.
Once I’ve grabbed the shampoo, I meet her around back. Cody’s secured to the post and Lyra’s getting her wet. To no avail. Cody loves the ocean, but apparently not the shower. “Here, let me help you.” Lyra starts talking to her as I wet her down and begin washing her thick coat. I’d never admit this to Lyra but she is a good watch dog. I’m glad she’s here for her. We’re both on our knees, scrubbing and shampooing, and I’m beginning to think we’re just as wet as Cody. If not more.
Once we’ve finished, the last thing I want is for her to go traipsing through the sand. “I’ll bring her into the sunroom to dry off.”
“I can take her, Gage, if you’d like to change into some dry clothes.” I can’t help wondering if the blush along her cheeks is from exertion or from something else. Because I know the sight of her in a wet T-shirt is turning me the hell on. I need to get out of here before she sees how she’s affected me.
“I’m fine, Lyra. You go change while I bring her in the house.” The minute I grab Cody’s collar, she begins to shake, splattering water everywhere. Apparently, she didn’t think I was wet enough because she waited until Lyra had left. “Thanks a lot, Cody.” But I can’t help chuckling as I lead her through the kitchen since it’s the shortest route.
Once I’ve locked her in the sunroom, I linger. I look through the mail, grab a drink and check on her one more time before heading upstairs to change. But as soon as I walk into our bedroom, I know I’ve made a huge mistake. Lyra’s just walking out of the bathroom, wearing nothing but a towel. And when her eyes lock on mine, she freezes. That fucking sucks!
“I needed to take a shower because I had sand in my…”
In a few long strides, I have her in my arms and my mouth’s crashing down on hers. I seek the shelter of her warm mouth by parting her lips with my tongue. She tastes like heaven and since I’ve been living in hell for so long, it feels like she’s breathing life into me again.
When a moan escapes the back of her throat, I don’t hesitate. I tug on that damn towel until it hits the floor. Now the only clothes that stand in the way of me and my girl are mine. “If you don’t want this, Lyra, stop me now. Otherwise, I’ll be too far gone.” I rest my head against hers, trying to push down my emotions before I can continue. “I want to swap out every memory you’ve ever made with him, with memories of us. Please. Let me show you how much I love you.” I should leave right now before she rejects me, but I can’t. I want to be the last one inside of her. Not him. Then I’ll be able to walk away and do what needs to be done. No matter the outcome.
I’m holding my breath, waiting for her answer, when her trembling hands dip below the hem of my shirt. Searing my skin with every brush and every touch of her fingertips. Before she pulls my shirt over my head and throws it on the floor. My breath catches as she tugs on my wet jeans and has them pooling around my ankles. Now my hard-on is straining against my boxers, begging for her touch. “Gage, you’re wet. Do you want to take a hot shower?”
I might be cold and damp, but I have a cure for that standing right in front of me. “I might be wet, babe, but as you can see, I’m already hot.” In one swift motion, I lift her up as she clings to me for dear life. But when her legs lock around my waist, I lose my breath. Fuck! The heat emanating from her core is pressed tightly against my cock. It’s been so long that I’m afraid I’ll blow my load before I have a chance to make it good for her.
I don’t stop walking until my knees come in contact with the edge of the bed. And then I gently lay her down. Lyra’s still wrapped around me when I place my hands on either side of her head. Now, I’m staring into the eyes of the only girl I’ve ever loved, when she pulls me a breath away from her mouth. “Make love to me, Gage. Please... ”
My cock twitches in anticipation when my mouth covers hers. Hard and hungry. And when I hear those little whimpers that I love so fucking much, I lose all self-control.
Reluctantly, I stop kissing her. So I can worship and explore the rest of her body. Slowly, I glide my lips down her neck. Lingering, just long enough to lick and suck on all the places that drive her wild. Her pulse points, right below her ears and the base of her throat. I leave tender kisses along her collarbones before wandering down to her breasts. Allowing my tongue to circle her areolas before sucking her nipple into my mouth. I love the feel of it against my tongue. It’s silky smooth and rigid both at the same time. Then I bite, blow and flick until she’s grinding against me. “Gage, please... ”
“We have all night, babe. Let me love you slowly.” When her hands leave the back of my neck and slide into the back of my boxers, I moan. But when her hands slither around my hips and wrap around my cock...
Oh. My. Fucking. God.
I nearly lose my ever loving mind!
Lyra’s stroking me from base to tip and it feels so f
ucking amazing that I don’t want her to stop. Ever. But I know if she continues, I’m going to come in her hand. And there’s someplace else I’d rather be when I do. “Mmm, you have very talented hands, but I want to be inside of you when I come.” Quickly, I push off the bed, dispose of my underwear and position myself between her thighs.
“Gage, I need you.”
When her eyes land on mine, I slowly push inside of her. My heart is hammering inside of my chest as her warm, wet heat wraps around me like a glove. Sucking me in. Inch by inch. Until I’m deep inside of her and we are now one. “Fuck. You feel so damn good, babe.”
I’m turned on even more when Lyra’s gaze dips down to where our bodies are joined. But I’m stunned when her eyes drift back up to mine and she whispers, “Fuck me harder, Gage. Please…”
What? Where did that come from? This is the first time Lyra has ever been vocal with me in the bedroom. With the exception of her little moans and mews, she’s normally quiet. So sue me when I get a niggling feeling that creeps across my skin. Is this how she was with him? Did they talk dirty to one another just so they could get off? Hurt turns into anger when I thrust inside of her. Harder and deeper than I’ve ever dared to go before. For fear of hurting her. If she wants it rough, then that’s exactly what she’ll get.
Within minutes I can feel her clenching around me while she’s screaming my name. “Yes! Gage, I’m coming! Ahhh…”
I can’t help being sucked in when her hands slide around to my ass, pulling me in tighter. Prolonging her orgasm and forcing me to surrender to the most intense orgasm I’ve ever had in my life.
Feels. So. Fucking. Good.
Before I know it, Lyra is sitting up and grabbing her clothes. “Gage... I-I need to go to the bathroom.” Okay. I guess cuddling is out of the question.
I leave a quick kiss on the corner of her mouth before rolling onto my back. But I’m hurt when Lyra races out the door. What the hell? It’s like she can’t get away from me fast enough. Suddenly, I feel like I just got played. Did she just use me for sex? Fucking A! I think she did.
After throwing on a pair of clean jeans, I go downstairs. I’m hoping I’m wrong, but my first instinct has me heading straight for the sunroom. When I see her kneeling on the floor with hers arms wrapped around Cody, I stop dead in my tracks. It’s at this very moment that I know. She’s crying for him.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Lyra
I have no idea how long I’ve been hugging Cody but my heart stutters when One by Ed Sheeran begins to play.
Music has always been Gage’s way of expressing his feelings when he can’t find the right words.
I can’t speak. There’s a gigantic lump caught in my throat that I can’t swallow down. No matter how hard I try. When, “You are the only one,” resonates around the room, tears threaten to fall. But by the time the lyrics, “Take my hand and my heart and soul, I will only have these eyes for you,” start to play, I can’t stop the tears from flowing even if I’d wanted to.
I can barely hear Gage whisper above the music, “I don’t want to be just your friend, Lyra. I want to be your everything. Because god knows that’s what you are to me.”
I can hear both of our hearts breaking in unison and it’s all my fault. Mine! A sob rips through my chest just as he kneels down in front of me. When his warm hands frame my face, I launch myself at him. “Gage, I promise I’ll try harder…”
I feel the goodbye on his lips as he quiets me with his mouth. Memorizing. Savoring. Until I taste the salt of his tears mingling with mine. Now, we are two bodies with one heartbeat.
Gage sighs before leaning his head against mine. “I guess subconsciously I had a reason for coming here today.” He leaves a tender kiss on both of my cheeks. “I had no intention of making love to you, Lyra. Until I saw you wearing that damn towel.” Silent tears continue to stream down his face as he kisses the tip of my nose. His piercing brown eyes lock on mine when he whispers, “I just want you to know, this is not goodbye.”
“What?” I must’ve misunderstood him, right? I’ve no doubt, he can hear my racing heart as he slides to the floor. He’s leaving? Suddenly, his arms wrap around me and the next thing I know, I’m sitting in his lap.
“I have had a lot to deal with over the past few weeks. I didn’t want to burden you with any of it because you’ve been through enough to last you a lifetime. But I can’t put it off any longer.” When he takes a deep breath, I know it isn’t good. “I was offered a job in Toronto with a prestigious architectural firm and I’ve accepted it.”
He’s saying goodbye, he just doesn’t want to admit it. “I’m happy for you, Gage. But a selfish part of me doesn’t want to let you go.” I straddle him so I can see his reaction when I ask, “Are you doing this because of what you overheard that day I was talking to Kennedy?”
“No. Absolutely not. There’s no doubt in my mind that you love me, Lyra. I feel it right here.” When he grabs my hand and places it over his heart, I fall apart. “I’m just not sure if you’re in love with me anymore. Baby, please don’t cry. I promise this is not goodbye, I’m just letting you go. I’m only signing on for six months. If they like what they see, then I’ll be hired on permanently. Listen to me, Lyra.” When his large hands frame my face, I have no choice but to look into his teary gaze. “When you want to hear the sound of my voice, call me. If you’re having a great day and you want to let me know, text me. Hell, you can call or text any time of day or night and I promise, I’ll do the same.”
What I don’t understand is why he hasn’t asked me to move to Toronto with him? Before I have a chance to ask, he says, “I’m not asking you to come with me because I’m giving you time to decide if I’m the one you want to spend forever with. Once I’ve fulfilled my contract, then you can be the one to decide if I stay in Toronto or come home to you. I would give it all up for you, Lyra. In a heartbeat. Because in the end, all I want is your happiness.”
I have no words. Months ago, I thought Ryker had made the ultimate sacrifice. His life for mine. He didn’t give me a choice. But Gage just did. Dammit! Now I have six months to decide whether I want the man who loves me unconditionally, or the one who left me behind. I shouldn’t have to give it a second thought. It’s a no-brainer. Unfortunately, I’m in love with both of them. Gage will always have my heart, but somehow Ryker owns my body and soul. And if I can’t figure this out soon, it has the potential to destroy us all. “When are you leaving?”
“I’m taking the red-eye out on Monday.”
How can I possibly say goodbye to someone who’s been the very air I breathe? Impossible. Forty-eight hours just isn’t enough time to show Gage how much he truly means to me. Because in my heart, I know. The moment he walks out that door, he won’t be back. “Will you let me drive you to the airport?”
The tortured look on his face says it all. “Absolutely not. I’m not that strong. I’ve even asked my mom to stay home. It’s going to be just my dad and me.”
I nuzzle into his neck and just breathe. I want to drink in his scent until it’s embedded beneath my skin so I will never, ever forget him. If I hadn’t been consumed by lust, I wouldn’t be in this situation. Why, oh why did I give myself so freely to Ryker? When I had this incredible man waiting for me all along? “Please don’t go, Gage.”
He wraps his arms around me so tightly, not even the thinnest piece of paper would fit between us. I want to wail when I feel his heart beating in sync with mine. Gage is wrong. He is my everything. So please tell me why that isn’t enough?
“I’ve been agonizing over this for weeks now, Lyra. It wasn’t an easy decision, but I feel like it’s the right one. Not just for me, but for both of us. I’ve never forgotten how great we were together, but you need time alone to remember. I’m hoping absence will ‘make the heart grow fonder.’ Seriously babe, you need time to heal. And I don’t think you’d be able to do that if I’m here with you. You would come to resent me because without realizing it, I’d be suffocating
you.”
Gage and I were the perfect couple. Until Ryker Steel rescued me. Now, I’m being torn apart because I’m in love with both men. And the sad part about this whole situation is, only one of them loves me back. And he’s the one who’s leaving.
“Did you have any plans for the weekend, Lyra?”
“Only you, Gage. Only you,” I whisper as my mouth claims his. While Photograph by Ed Sheeran plays in the background. How apropos.
Gage
After the weekend I spent with Lyra, I almost didn’t get on the plane. Until I remembered why I was leaving in the first place...
I accidentally found out through a friend of a friend that Lyra and Kennedy were taking off for the weekend. So I decided it was the perfect opportunity for me to sneak into my own house and pick up the Merritt project I’d been working on. But the minute I walked into the house and heard the words, “I was in love with my abductor, Kennedy. How fucked up is that?” all rational thought disappeared. Yeah, you guessed it. I went rummaging through our closet to find all of the journals she so lovingly tucked away. They screamed, “Read me!” And I did. Not once, but twice. They gutted me. It was very difficult to accept that the woman I love had penned them. Sadly, there was no mistaking Lyra’s handwriting. It was all there in black and white…
Once I was over the initial shock, I realized she referred to him as Ryker Steel, not Jonathan Day. So I Googled him. Imagine my surprise when a shit-ton of pictures appeared. I didn’t recognize the man staring back at me. Short black hair, piercing blue eyes and an enigmatic smile. The opposite of Jonathan Day’s long dark hair, black lifeless eyes and permanent scowl. Hmm, clever disguise. Other pics were taken during his tour in Afghanistan, while he was serving in the Marine Corps. One article stated he was working for the DEA when he dropped off the grid. How convenient. But the pics that really piqued my interest were the ones where he had his arms possessively wrapped around a woman. According to the articles, it was his wife, Bella. No wonder he was so fascinated with my woman. She was the mirror image of his. That fucking bastard!
Bound by Steel Page 13