Where Love is Found

by Tiya Rayne

  “What else happened?” I asked Jackson.

  He sighed. “It’s nothing to worry about. I’ve had some issues with my truck being tampered with.”

  “Don’t forget they smashed out the windows down at your office.” Hank added.

  “And you weren’t going to tell me this.”

  I never wanted to be one of those couples that fought in public, but I was too pissed to worry about how I looked to others.

  If someone was trying to hurt Jackson I wanted to know about it. In fact, I was going to call Sean as soon as we left here to let him know. They needed to know if Cliff was back in town.

  I felt Jackson’s hand on my thigh under the table. He was trying to calm me down. I hated that it was working.

  “I was going to tell you if something else happened. I assumed it was unrelated.”

  “What do you mean unrelated?” Hank asked.

  “Char, had a stalker about a month ago, but the police handled it.”

  “Oh you poor girl. I’m glad the police was able to catch the culprit. They haven’t caught the one messing with Jackson yet.” Sally said.

  “They’ll catch him, Mama.”

  “Maybe they should look into your past. I’m pretty sure some of your old associates are involved.”

  Jackson’s body once again went ramrod straight. Jefferson must really hit a sore subject for Jackson. I’d never seen him look this way. I almost wanted to ask what past was Jefferson talking about, but I had a feeling that wasn’t a conversation I should bring up right now.

  I turned my head when I felt fingers playing in my hair. Before coming, I’d met up with Devin to get my hair done. Today I was sporting mid back length body waves with a side part. My hair slid through Gladys’ gnarled fingers when I turned to her.

  Now see, I gave Gladys a pass for the colored comment, but I’d whoop her ass for touching my hair.

  “Your hair is so pretty, and it feels so real.”

  Sally started coughing and Chelsea laughed for the first time since she’d been here.

  “Well it should,” I said keeping my cool. “I pay enough for it.”

  I had no shame in admitting this wasn’t my hair. I paid hundreds of dollars for this hair, I could give a shit if it was mine or not. I wore weave because I liked it, and I didn’t like doing my own hair.

  “I’ve always wanted to try extensions,” Sally said, again trying to lighten the mood.

  I noticed she was really good at that. Something I was starting to think she’d had years of practice with.

  “But Hank doesn’t want me to get them.” She continued.

  “That’s cause those men down at that bingo already stare at you, no need to get those hair extensions tempting them. I’d hate to get you banned from that place.”

  I loved the blush that spread over Sally’s face when Hank showed his jealous side. It reminded me of Grams and Papa. It seemed Sally had her an amazing man like my Papa.

  “You don’t need that mess in your hair anyway, Sally,” Blondie said looking directly at me. “Only superficial people pay for things like that. Real people are confident with what god gave them naturally.”

  Really? Did she really want to do this with me?

  “Funny, you speak of natural. Did god give you that naturally Blonde hair? I just asks, because it seems if he did, he would have given you the roots to match it.”

  This time Jackson and Hank chuckled. Chelsea’s face turned bright red. That’s right bitch, don’t ever come for me.

  “You of all people shouldn’t mention god. I’m sure if he knew the type of person…”

  “Don’t fucking talk to her.” Jackson warned, interrupting his brother.

  “Boys.” Hank tried to bring the tension back down.

  “No Pop!” Jefferson said turning to his father. “This needs to be said. You guys are always defending him, that’s his problem. Jackson needs to take care of his responsibilities and stop being such a fuck up.”

  “What responsibilities?” Sally asked confused.

  “We agreed we wouldn’t bring this up to your mother until we were sure.” Hank tried again to bring the peace back.

  Jefferson, completely ignoring his father, turned to his mother. “Jackson has a baby on the way. Congratulations, you’re going to be a grandmother again.”

  Sally turned to me with a wide smile on her face. “I knew it. Mama I told you she was glowing.”

  Trust me, Sally, I’m glowing, but it has nothing to do with a baby. However, your son was the cause.

  “Not by that woman,” Jefferson explained with a disgusted look on his face as if babies by me would be the worst thing to happen to Jackson. “Vanessa is pregnant.”

  Sally’s smile fell as she turned to a teary eyed Vanessa.

  “Oh! Well that’s nice. Congratulations you two.”

  “Mama, no need to congratulate me, Vanessa isn’t having my child. She might be having a baby, but it’s not mine.”

  “How dare you!” Chelsea shouted. “My friend is not like that and you know it. I should have never introduced you two. You are so immature, Jackson. You’d rather parade this gold digging tramp around than to be with a good wholesome woman.”

  “Gold digger?” I’d been called many things in my life, but never that.

  “Yes, we know you’re only after Jackson for his business. I’m sure you and your many baby daddies laugh about how gullible he is.”

  “Sweet heart, do a fucking google search before you slander someone. My bank account has more digits than your fucking phone number. Trust me, I don’t need Jackson’s money.”

  Chelsea scoffed. “You’re nothing but a tramp.”

  “And you are on your last insult.”

  Chelsea opened her mouth, probably to say something that would cause me to drag her ass across this table, but Jackson spoke first.

  “I’ve tried to keep my cool.” Jackson explained calmly, but I could tell he was reaching his breaking point. “But you’re pushing me. I’m still not even 100% sure she’s pregnant. And even if she is, it isn’t mine. This is just Vanessa’s way of trying to get me to marry her.”

  “Please.” Chelsea mocked. “My best friend can do so much better than some fat gardener.”

  “Now! See that was your last insult.”

  I tossed my fork in my plate and went to stand. Jackson placed a hand on my thigh to keep me in my seat. I wanted a piece of his sister in law so bad I was shaking. How dare she insult Jackson? First of all, he wasn’t fat. Thick, yes. Husky, maybe. Sexy, very. There was nothing wrong with Jackson’s body. Plus don’t belittle what he does by calling him a gardener. He was much more than that.

  I wanted to tell that bitch off, but Jackson spoke instead.

  “Don’t worry, Baby. It’s not worth it. Eventually, the truth will come out and they will see Vanessa for the manipulative female she is.”

  “So now we are to believe that she’s the manipulative one?” Jefferson said. “She’s not the recovering drug addict with a murder charge.”

  A few things happened all at once. I gasped, Jackson soared to his feet and grabbed his brother across the table, Sally screamed, and Hank immediately climbed to his feet to grab Jackson. I looked around at the scene of Sally clutching her chest, Vanessa crying, Chelsea trying to pry Jackson’s hands from pinning Jefferson to the table, and Hank still trying to pull Jackson back. It was then I realized, everybody’s family had shit going on.

  “Get off him!” Chelsea shouted.

  “Bubba! Let him go. Let him go, son.” Hank tried to calmly get Jackson to cool down, but it wasn’t working and Jefferson was turning blue.

  I hated Jackson’s brother, and I was not ashamed to admit that I wouldn’t be angry if Jackson choked the life out of him, but I couldn’t let that happen. At least with not this many witnesses.

  “Jackson,” I called his name and the only sign I got that he heard me was the slight movement in his face. “Let’s go home, Baby.” I didn’t care if it
was his home or mine, I just wanted to get him out of here.

  Jackson finally let go of Jefferson, who started gasping for air. He grabbed my hand, pulled me out of my seat, and without saying a word he started guiding me away from the table.

  “He’s unstable,” Jefferson called out behind us. “I bet he’s on that shit again.”

  “ENOUGH!!” Hank shouted cutting Jefferson off. “You’ve done enough, Jeff.”

  “Why did you break it up, Hank? You should have let Jackson kick his ass.”

  “Mama.” Sally warned.

  Ok, I like Memaw again.

  I followed Jackson out the house and to his truck. He whistled once and Lady came running from the back yard. She hopped in the truck along with me, and we silently pulled away from the house.

  ***

  The ride home was silent. I didn’t know what had Jackson so quiet, but Jefferson’s words were floating around my head. I wasn’t angry or judging Jackson, I was more concerned with how he felt. Why was he being so quiet? I was even more nervous when we pulled up to my place instead of his like we had planned earlier.

  Jackson turned off the car, but he also didn’t step out to open my door like he usually did. Instead he exhaled and leaned back in the seat.

  “I was a fat kid.” He started and I remained silent, allowing him to tell the story at his own pace. “I got bullied a lot about it. That isn’t an excuse for the shit I did, I’m just telling you how it was. My parents weren’t exactly poor, but we lived on a budget. Pops was so busy trying to make ends meet and mama was trying to stretch everything that came in the house from clothes to food. I guess that’s kind of the reason Jessica started making her own clothes.” He chuckled for a minute before getting serious again.

  “I was struggling, and I felt like I couldn’t talk to anyone. My parents were trying to keep us afloat, they didn’t need to worry about my problems. I started off smoking cigarettes, then it was weed and alcohol. By the time I got to high school, it was coke and pills. I thought it was helping. It was numbing me. Now when some privileged jock would make fun of the fat kid, I would kick his ass because I was numb to the hurt. Yeah, I was angry all the time, but I wasn’t depressed, at least I thought.”

  He was quiet again for a moment. Staring off into the distance. “The night started like most nights. I was hanging with some of the shitty friends I’d discovered. We were sitting around getting high and being stupid. I remember we ran out, and we decided to ride around to see if we could get some money to buy more. I’d already tapped out at home. I had started stealing from my parents. The little they had I thought it was ok to take.” He shook his head in disgust. “My friend, Terry, said that he had a girl that worked at Subway and she would give him $15 dollars. I thought it was a brilliant plan at the time. Except we didn’t go to subway, instead we went to an apartment complex. They told me to sit in the car. At the time I thought nothing of it when they always asked me to stay behind when they went to meet girls, but as I look back on it, it was their way of not including the fat kid.

  That night I sat in the car as they went in to see Terry’s girl. About thirty minutes later they came running back to the car. I’ll admit, I knew something was wrong then, but I didn’t say anything. Two days later I get pulled out of my house by the police. That night a sixteen year old kid was robbed and murdered.

  We were all charged and went to trial, but I was spared because an eleven year old boy saw me sitting in the car. He told the police that he watched the fat boy sit in the car and eat donuts. That’s the reason I’m not sitting behind bars right now, because I sat in the fucking car eating a donut while a kid was being killed.”

  He ran his hand over his face wiping away the tear that fell from his eyes.

  “After the trial was over and I was cleared, Pop’s packed my bags and sent me to the military. He said he was done. I didn’t blame him. It was the greatest thing to ever happen to me.” He finally turned to me and I saw the shame and disgust for himself written in his eyes. “I brought you home tonight, Charlice because I know you need time. And if you never want to see me again after this, I understand.”

  I remained silent taking it all in. The fact that Jackson was on drugs and the death of the young man. I allowed my mind to wrap around all of that before I made any decisions.

  “When’s the last time you used drugs?”

  “Not since the night of the murder. I’ve never even smoked another cigarette.”

  I nodded my head. “Did you have any idea that they were going to that apartment for anything other than to get money from Terry’s girl?”

  “No! Even they admitted that it was why they were there, and the murder was spur of the moment. I was a fuck up, but I would have never stood for anything like that, Char. I swear it. Every day I wish that I could go back in time. That I would have gone with them, because I would have never let that shit go down. That kid would have still been here if only I would have got my fat ass out of the car.”

  “Don’t do that to yourself. You had no control over those guys’ actions that night. And you had no idea they were going to do what they did. You can’t go back in time. You can only make sure that you don’t make the same mistakes again.”

  “I want you so bad, Char.” He turned to me with pain shining in his eyes. “I don’t deserve you, but damn if I don’t want you. If what you found out today is too much….”

  “I never asked you to be perfect, Jackson. Remember, I got shit in my past too. I don’t care about the guy you use to be. As long as you remain the guy you are now.”

  He smiled before pulling me in for a kiss. For a girl that once despised kissing, I damn sure seem to be doing a lot of it lately.

  Jackson pulled back and smiled at me. “I’m sorry dinner with my family turned out to be horrible.”

  “I owed you one for the casserole anyway.”

  He laughed.

  “Besides,” I said. “It could have been worse.”

  He looked at me and lifted a thick eyebrow. “How the hell does it get worse than my Memaw calling you colored, my Ex showing up, and my brother and I fighting?”

  “You could have had an entire family like your brother.”

  Jackson laughed again.

  “So what’s the deal with your brother? He seemed pretty damn spiteful.”

  He sighed and placed his head on the headrest.

  “At some point while I was in middle school, I became the thorn in his side. I think he despised me for being the brother to the bullied fat kid.” He grunted. “It’s hard to be popular when everyone reminds you of your family’s imperfection.”

  “Jackson, don’t take this the wrong way, but your brother’s an asshole.”

  He threw his head back and laughed.

  “Come on, let’s go in.” He climbed out of the car and came around to my door to let me out. Lady hopped out right behind us.

  “I still want to kick you sister in law’s ass.”

  He smiled. “I was kind of turned on when you were about to fight her for dissing me.”

  “That bitch had it coming, even Memaw would agree,”

  We entered the house and headed straight for my bedroom.

  That night, Jackson and I fucked until we couldn’t move. I think Jackson sharing his story with me seemed to bring us closer. We bonded on another level that night. However I knew that since Jackson opened up to me, he was going to push for me to open up to him. That could never happen. So instead of us talking, I fucked him. I fucked him for being the fat kid in school, I fucked him for the guilt he carried over that sixteen year old kid, and I fucked him for the messed up relationship between him and his brother. We both went to bed sweaty and tired.

  TWENTY-TWO

  The buzzing of my phone brought me out of a deep sleep. Jackson’s arm was thrown over my body, and his leg covered mine. It took me a minute to locate my phone beside the bed.

  “Hello?” I answered groggily.

  “Aunt Duck?” Kylie�
�s tearful voice had me fully awake and sitting up in bed.

  “Kylie, what’s wrong?”

  The alarm in my voice must have woken Jackson up, because he’s sitting up in bed too.

  “Can…..can….. you come get me?”

  I pulled the phone from my ear to see what time it was. 2:40 in the morning.

  “Kylie, where is your mother?” As the question left my lips I heard my cousin scream in the background. I was out of the bed instantly with Jackson right behind me.

  “Babe, what’s going on?”

  I couldn’t take the time to reply to Jackson. My mind was on my cousin and my god children.

  “Kylie, is Naya with you?”

  “Yes, she’s under the bed.” Kylie whispered on the other end of the phone.

  When I bought her the phone for her last birthday, her parents thought it was unnecessary. I was so fucking glad I convinced Devin to let her keep it.

  “Alright, I want you and Naya to stay where you are. Stay out of sight. I’ll be there soon.”

  “Hurry, Aunt Duck. I’m scared.”

  My heart dropped. I could imagine how scared my babies were.

  “I’ll hurry.”

  Her tearful goodbye prompted me to hang up the phone. I warned Miles once before that if he ever put his hands on my cousin I would kill him, I guess today he thought to test that theory.

  Both Jackson and I were dressing.

  “What’s going on?” He asked again.

  I realized he had no idea what was going on, but was still dressing for war with me.

  “That asshole is drunk and he put his hands on my fucking cousin. I’m going to kill him.” That was a promise.

  Jackson drove us to the house, because I was clearly in no mood to obey traffic laws. The moment his truck pulled to a stop I was out. I didn’t need Jackson to open my door this time.

  Jackson told lady to stay put and she whined but didn’t follow us. I used my phone to call Kylie.

  She answered on the first ring.