When I felt her hands snake down my chest and her fingers tease the edge of my shirt, I knew it was now or never. If not, I’d ruin this beautiful woman for all time.
“Stop!” I picked her up and sat her to the side, quickly removing myself from her and jumping up to stand. The action brought tremendous pain between my legs and a stabbing sorrow in my chest I didn’t understand, but I couldn’t do what she needed me to. That much I was certain of.
Glancing up at the stars, I cursed and kicked the sand into the fire. Little embers rained down all around us, showering us, and bringing my attention to the small form still sitting on the ground where I’d left her.
Nothing had ever felt like that before. Nobody had ever kissed me with such passion and power. Reaching up, I touched my lips, feeling the lingering electricity that remained where he’d touched me. I had almost no experience with men in a romantic way and assumed I’d either done something wrong or he simply didn’t want me because I was damaged after what Alex had done to me. Either way, I knew this couldn’t be good for the future living arrangements.
Glancing up, I watched in nervous apprehension as Nick paced in front of the fire. Every few steps, he’d stop and look up at the stars, then resume his pacing or stare into the fire. Judging by his reaction, I knew I had ruined the first thing in my life that had felt right and good. I had no idea where I could go, but maybe it was for the best that I packed the few things I had at the cabin and made my way on my own. I certainly didn’t want to stay where I wasn’t welcomed any more.
“Let’s call it a night, okay?” Nick announced without looking at me. Before I could respond, he had the cooler in hand and was dumping melted ice and water over the flames. The hiss and smoke of the extinguished fire was a perfect metaphor for how I felt.
“Can you grab the poles? I’ll get everything else.” He sounded cold and distant, nothing like the man I’d grown so close to lately.
“Sure.” I pushed myself up, ignoring the lingering desire that remained, and made my way over to where the poles were waiting. The small lantern and the moonlight that spilled through the trees made it appear like the fairies had put a nightlight out for us. Add in the fresh air, the waves lightly crashing against the shore, and the crickets and frogs singing harmoniously, and you’ve got yourself a pretty amazing night. Unfortunately, everything seemed far less wonderful now. Shaking my head at how the night had turned out, I grabbed the poles and turned in time to find Nick standing still, his eyes focused on something in the forest. With his back to me, I had no idea he’d pulled a gun from his pants until he held it in front of him, the shimmer of the barrel reflecting in the moonlight.
“What is…”
“Shhh!” he hushed me before I could finish.
Quickly glancing around, I wondered if it were an animal or someone else who’d stumbled upon us. I couldn’t see or hear anyone, but from the way Nick was now taking slow, tentative steps forward, it was obvious that he did.
I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do. I wanted to back him up in some way, but with only a few poles in my hand and nothing else, I knew I would only get in the way. Deciding to stay put, I watched as he slowly progressed, disappearing past the tree line. His fading footsteps were the only remaining clue to where he was.
The minutes slowly ticked by, my nerves gradually building as I stood along the riverbank alone. Every sound seemed magnified. With almost no light, I couldn’t see more than a couple feet in front of me. So, when the crackle of leaves sounded nearby, followed quickly by the haunting hoot of an owl behind me, I was pushed beyond my limit. I couldn’t stay there alone any longer. My imagination and fears were too much for me to battle. Just as I took a few steps in the direction Nick had gone, I knew I’d made a drastic mistake. The rapid thumps of racing footsteps and the cracking sound of breaking branches were the only warning I had. Before I had a chance to scream for help, a large body was wrapping around me from behind, a glove-covered hand thrust across my mouth. The scent of leather wafted up my nose, followed quickly by a feral and sweaty aroma. That, combined with the short stature of someone pudgy and the way they greedily grabbed and twisted me in their hold was beyond my comprehension.
My initial reaction was one of fear and denial, my eyes closing and my mind shutting down. When the stranger’s arm wrapped around my throat, in much the same way that Nick had practiced with me earlier, I wanted to give up. This was no friendly interaction. There was anger and hatred in the way I was being handled. When hot, fetid breath scalded my neck, the scent of alcohol and cigarettes enveloping me, the flashbacks were too vivid to block out this time. My knees gave out, my body threatening to spill onto the ground below. But with a large grunt and heavy breathing, my assailant refused that option and ignored my protests. With sickening precision, he yanked and jerked me upward, adjusting my weight in his arms as he started dragging me from behind.
I watched as the lantern I’d dropped near the water’s edge got further and further away. Its light was dimly visible through the tall grass, growing smaller with each step we took. My mind was straining to hold on, whispering that I was more than this. But it was like being stuck at the bottom of a well, the sound echoing and bouncing around until it was almost too faint to hear at all. It wasn’t until I pictured Nick returning to find me gone that I remembered how I now had the tools I needed to escape. Picturing his strength in my mind, his words of encouragement while he’d practiced repeatedly with me, I snapped to attention. I suddenly felt empowered to do something to protect myself.
“Walk!” a scratchy, harsh voice growled roughly in my ear, demanding I obey when my feet started dragging against the ground.
I refused and braced my feet to do as I’d been taught, forcing the man to come to a stop. Knowing he was slightly off balance from my sudden change, I took a deep breath and focused on Nick’s words in my head. With a calmness I didn’t feel, I turned my head and lowered my chin. Taking him by surprise, I was able to force him to readjust. He growled in anger, his arm squeezing tighter until the pressure against my ear and skull were almost unbearable. Knowing I was about to lose the advantage, I surged forward, opening my mouth just enough to grab hold and bite with all the force my jaws could apply. To my horror, the man held on, even as his flesh threatened to break off. I continued my attack and began to buck and kick with wild abandon, trying everything I could to break free.
It wasn’t going to work. My jaw was trembling in response to the force I was applying, the taste of dirty copper filling my mouth as he started dragging me further into the darkness. Hearing him cuss as he ignored my oral attack and flailing limbs, I remembered I had one more weapon at my disposal. Reaching backward, I frantically thrust my hand between his legs, blindly searching for what I knew would push him over the edge. It only took a few tries to locate what I needed, and a second later I gripped his groin as hard as possible, twisting and turning until the offending arm around my head dropped away, and a body thumped to the ground with a savage groan.
Scurrying away, I was surrounded by darkness, the moonlight long ago disappearing behind a cloud and the lantern nowhere in sight. I tripped over a log and fumbled to get my balance as I made my way through the weeds and in the direction of the woods. “Nick!” I couldn’t breathe, my fear quickly taking over and seizing control of my lungs. “Help! Nick!” Running a few more steps, I heard someone coming toward me, twigs and tree limbs snapping in rapid succession, and came to a stop. I couldn’t see anything. I didn’t know if this person was friend or foe, Nick or the assailant. I wasn’t sure if I should scream bloody murder or curl up in a fetal position and silently play dead.
Forcing my body to stand absolutely still, I reigned in my breathing and focused on the sounds as they approached. “Nick?” My voice trembled, trying to whisper even though I knew it was pointless after boastfully announcing my location only moments before.
“Gwen!”
Oh, thank God. The sound of his voice filled me with solace
. My body released its fight, collapsing to the ground, unable to withstand the sudden tremors that overtook me. Knowing I wasn’t completely safe yet, I frantically whipped my head in every direction, trying to seek out the whereabouts of the one who had caused this. I wasn’t sure if he would attack again with Nick nearby or if he would disappear into the darkness, but I wanted to be prepared. I couldn’t see or hear anything other than Nick’s rapid approach and breathed a small sigh of relief.
On my knees, I watched as Nick raced out of the woods. The bobbing, small light on his phone illuminating a tiny path before him.
“Gwen?” he panted, pausing his progression as he searched in every direction.
I was spiraling toward a panic attack, the tremors continuing to rack my body and paralyze my mind. I knew Nick was near. I could both see and hear him. Yet, even with the relief that knowledge provided, I felt uncontrollable rage and fear from the assault and the bombardment of memories from the past year.
Raising my hand, I tried to wave in the darkness. “Here. Here, Nick!” My voice was barely audible, but thankfully enough for him to find me. With only a few large strides, he was kneeling before me, his hands rushing over my body in search for injuries.
“I’m not… hurt,” I whispered, suddenly ashamed of what had happened—or almost happened again.
“Why are you on the ground then?” His hands came to a stop, his flashlight taking over their progression as he sought to confirm my words. I knew the minute the illumination revealed the truth. I couldn’t see his face past the bright light, but his gasp was as good as any giveaway.
“Someone… over there… he grabbed me.”
Before I had the chance to elaborate, Nick had me crushed against his chest with one arm tightly holding me in place and the other arm outstretched in the direction I’d pointed. Feeling safer than what I had minutes before, I wrapped my arms around him and held on tight. Without delay, my tremors calmed, my mind at peace. I was still scared and nervous about who may be out there, but he was my refuge.
“We need to get out of here.” He slowly helped me to my feet but didn’t release me in the least. “I need you to stay beside me no matter what, okay?”
I nodded in agreement, eager to get back to the cabin and safely behind locked doors as quickly as possible.
“Good,” he stated with determination as he angled our bodies toward the direction I’d just come from. “I’m pretty sure whoever it is took off when you yelled. Let’s just cut through here and make our way to the truck. I’ll come back out here tomorrow and get all our stuff.”
I nodded again, shifting my body so that one of his arms stayed around my shoulders and one of mine stayed tightly latched around his waist. We walked side by side through the tall brush and made our way to the gravel road where we’d parked the truck. The minute I was safely inside the cab, door locked, and Nick climbing into his seat, I took a deep breath. It did little to calm my nerves, though. Whoever had tried to grab me was out there, watching us. I didn’t know how I knew that, but I could feel their eyes lingering on me.
“Please go,” I pleaded, trying not to break down in front of him.
“No need to tell me twice,” he said as he turned the key and started the ignition.
I had a fleeting thought that the truck wouldn’t start, but as quickly as it came, Nick had the truck in gear and was spinning the tires in the gravel. Within minutes, we were on the main road and heading back to the cabin.
Three things troubled me about what had happened earlier. One, that someone was clearly after Gwen. Two, I had been so caught up in my head that I hadn’t been paying attention to our surroundings. The second thing I could rectify. Thankfully, it wasn’t too late. But the first, I had no idea who it could be. I couldn’t imagine Alex taking such a risk. He was too much of a pansy to try something like that. Besides, from Gwen’s description of the man’s body, he was way too short for Alex. Furthermore, he was now Boss’ little puppet. I highly doubted he even thought twice about her now that he was serving his master day in and day out. No, whoever that was, seemed far more skilled than Alex ever was.
Checking my guns for the third time, I sat on the sofa and listened to the quiet sounds in the cabin. Gwen had finally fallen asleep in the bedroom, her light breathing rhythmically sounding as she slept. It had taken her a couple of hours to calm down, and even then she couldn’t sleep unless I was sitting beside her in the bed. Not that I could blame her. From what she had said, she was very lucky to have kept a level head and escaped from whomever had tried to abduct her.
Fucking hell! That was the third issue I had. I couldn’t imagine what she must feel like, but knowing I had failed her burned deeper than any failure I’d ever had. I was practically ready to rip her clothes away and forcefully eliminate her innocence one minute, and in the next, recklessly endangering her life by foolishly ignoring the environment we’d been in. It seemed I was more of a problem than a solution in her life. Unfortunately, there was no other course of action I could offer her. As long as I owed Boss a debt, she was stuck with me.
When I’d seen the blood smeared across her mouth and cheek, my thoughts were a torrent of vicious ideas I planned to follow through on whenever I found the culprit who had left their stain on her. But stronger than those emotions was the realization that I could’ve lost her. The thought had come unbidden, its intensity unbearably more painful and frightening than anything I’d faced in my life before. I’d been aware of my insane attraction to her. But this had nothing to do with physical desires. In just a short amount of time, she had broken through my ironclad walls and defenses, burrowing her way into the deepest recesses of my unworthy heart. She meant more to me than any words could explain. And I had let her down.
“Nick?”
Whipping my head up, I was astounded that she could walk soft enough to keep the floor boards from creaking in the old house.
“Can I sleep out here by you tonight?”
“Here?” I nodded to the couch thinking how uncomfortable it would be for her.
“I just… I can’t…” Her lip trembled, and my heart broke all over again. It was my fault she had to feel this type of fear again. Hell, I’d sleep on thumb tacks if it would give her peace of mind.
“Come on.” I stood up, taking my hand gun and two long rifles with me. “I’ll stay in the bedroom with you. It’s almost morning anyhow.”
“Thank you,” she said softly, but the relief was evident.
“It’s not a problem, tiger. Just no biting me in your sleep.” I couldn’t help the chuckle that came out. As mad as I was at myself for failing her, I was immensely proud of her for using what little I’d taught her after only having the one day of practice together.
The next morning came way too fast. I’d fallen asleep beside Gwen, thankfully too distracted by listening to every sound in and outside of the house to think about her body lying next to mine. But two hours of sleep only went so far. I was just finishing wiring the cabin and installing multiple security lights outside, when James, one of Boss’ more intelligent puppets pulled his motorcycle into the drive. I hadn’t told anyone that I’d been staying out here instead of my house in the city, but I wasn’t surprised that he knew. They probably had trackers on each of my vehicles, easily following me everywhere. Either that, or he was smart enough to keep track on all the guys who lived offsite, just as I did.
Closing the box of extra wires, I tossed it into the shed without giving thought to where it landed and locked the door. By the time I turned around, James was already walking toward me. He wore leather cuts over his jeans, a pair of black leather riding boots—Harley, no doubt—and a tight, white T-shirt. The funny thing was, it was all for show. The man only rode a bike to look good for the ladies. He didn’t know the difference between a Kawasaki Ninja and a Harley Fatboy. He might have been schooled in the ways of the world and serving the club, but he lacked any real education and was too lazy to seek any out on his own.
“Hey
, Jay, whataya doin’ out in these parts?” I did little to hide my frustration and annoyance that anyone would bother me at my home. I may have been an unwilling member of the crew, but when I finished my work every day, I expected the same respect as all the rest—which meant being left alone. After last night’s incident and minimal sleep, I wasn’t in the mood to play their games.
“Boss man wants you to come in early tonight.” He came to a stop a few feet in front of me, crossing his arms over his chest and standing with his legs slightly spread. Did he think a little attitude and body stance would intimidate me? Obviously, he had no idea who I really was. We may have been cool with one another, even working together on some jobs during the past few years, but that didn’t mean I wouldn’t do what I had to if he ever crossed the line.
“Yeah, so? He couldn’t just call and tell me that himself?”
“He did. Couldn’t get you all day. Wanted to make sure you were all right, so he sent me over to check on you.”
Slapping my pockets, one after the other, I realized I must’ve left my phone on the bed where I’d lay next to Gwen last night. Fuck! Speaking of her, I glanced up just in time to see her duck out of the window in the kitchen. God, I hoped she didn’t come outside. James was right up there with Alex as far as women went. This time I wouldn’t even try to hold myself back if he tried anything stupid with her.
“Guess I left it inside. Been out here working all day.”
James shook his head and looked around the property. “You landscaping or something? Since when were you into the pretty shit?” He turned back toward me and smirked like he already knew the answer. The way his eyes took everything in, I was fully aware that there was more to this visit than just a call from Boss. He was in on something much deeper. Most likely, something to do with Boss wanting to keep an eye on me so I didn’t take off unexpectedly.
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