Purple People

by Kate Bulpitt

  ‘A week ago, his mum said. She was going to go on the rally, but when she got up that morning, he was sitting eating toast, Purple. Gave her a fright.’

  ‘So he was Turned on the Friday?’ Eve said.

  ‘I suppose so.’

  ‘That’s the same night Duncan was Turned. The night we were in the pub. We saw him – or you and Bob did, remember? On the way there, when we bumped into Rory?’

  Womble murmured in the affirmative as he scraped the rest of his yoghurt from the pot.

  ‘How strange,’ said Eve. ‘Maybe it was the same police officer who Turned them?’

  Womble coughed.

  ‘Only you could choke on a yoghurt,’ said Helena.

  Eve glanced at them, trying to detect if there was any affection to this comment.

  ‘This is a long shot, but maybe Rory saw something,’ said Eve. ‘He might have seen a police person near Drew.’

  ‘Bit unlikely isn’t it, Evie?’ said Helena. ‘If you saw Drew before you went to the pub, and Duncan got into the fight after you all left…’

  ‘You’re right,’ said Eve, with a sigh. ‘Drew was probably Turned much later on, like Duncan.’

  ‘Worth asking, though, just in case,’ said Helena. ‘Right, I’m going to walk the pups.’

  She called to Sven, who rushed into the room, tail wagging.

  ‘I’m going to do some homework,’ said Womble.

  As she put on the dogs’ leads, Helena watched Womble retreat from the room.

  ‘You really don’t think he’s up to something?’ she asked Eve.

  ‘He wouldn’t,’ said Eve.

  Helena nodded uncertainly and headed towards the front door, which clunked shut behind her.

  Womble’s behaviour had seemed evasively out of sorts. Eve didn’t believe he’d be unfaithful – plus he was such a terrible liar that the jig would soon be up – but she wondered if something mildly fishy could be afoot. She frowned, and switched on the radio.

  ‘Sebastian Dell, son of MP Alistair Dell, has been defending the behaviour for which he was recently Turned Purple. The twenty-five year old was heavily criticised for taunting a homeless man, and allegedly burning a fifty-pound note in front of him. Alistair Dell was said to be “saddened” by his son’s behaviour and said he hoped having been Turned would give him cause for reflection. The prime minister commented: “I think this just goes to show that the Purple Initiative leaves its mark with regard to all repellent behaviour on our streets, whoever the perpetrator or whatever their crime”. That was the news at one o’clock. We’ll be back again in an hour.’

  Eve moved her attention to the day’s newspapers. Most of the headlines centred around a pair of Purple people, believed to be part of the trio who’d been snapped escaping the secure facility and triggering awareness of the scheme. Their mugshots scowled from the front pages; the shot of one of the men caught him with a curling lip, as though if you pressed your ear to the page you might hear him snarl.

  These are two of the LAVENDER LADS whose astonishing appearance – caught on camera as they ESCAPED police detention over two weeks ago – launched the public unveiling of Theo Fletcher’s INCREDIBLE Purple Scheme. Brothers Ritchie Hawking and Jamie Pratt had been Persons of Interest to coppers investigating a series of VIOLENT ATTACKS, where victims were set upon in their own homes.

  Having been caught RED-HANDED during a raid on a home in Mansfield – during which the PETRIFIED owners triggered a panic alarm – the terrible twosome soon found themselves Purpled. Like original Lav, Lee Bowen, the pair had NO IDEA what had happened to them – and realised the tables had been well and truly turned now they were the ones FEARING for their lives.

  The brothers – who have the same mum but different dads – are no strangers to being held at Her Majesty’s Pleasure, having been NICKED for armed robbery at a post office. That offence caused elderly customer Doris Pugh – who was in the queue at the time – to have a HEART ATTACK, from which she later died.

  ‘Those men killed her,’ said Doris’s daughter Toni. ‘I said they shouldn’t be let out, and look what happened. I’m glad they’re Purple now and everyone can see them for the MURDERERS they are.’

  Unbelievably, since their Houdini act, the duo were being harboured by a pal, Nev Paulson, who had also recently been Turned Purple – but had yet to turn himself in. Ironically, it was a postman who saw the three in Nev’s back garden and called the police.

  Arresting officer Gilbert Brown said, ‘I think the general public can see the sort of people being identified by this scheme. We’re very pleased that, due to their having been Turned, a passer-by alerted us to these men, and more importantly still, that three DANGEROUS criminals are now in custody. It’s an excellent result.’

  Eve sighed and turned the page, to yet more Purpleness – the Lav Line Up. There, she saw a familiar face: the young mother from the train. Dead-eyed and not even looking directly at the camera (one of the papers picked up on this, commenting ‘a Lav who seems unable to even acknowledge, let alone respect, authority’), this was apparently Amber Brey, 23, who had been Turned for ‘extremely offensive and upsetting anti-social behaviour’. No surprise there, Eve thought, though she was curious to know more about the incident that had caused her to be Turned. Now however, with so many new Purple people to be reported each day, there wasn’t a huge amount of space to include more specific details about each one, unless it was a particularly outrageous or conspicuous case. Sebastian Dell, the MP’s son, joined Amber in today’s mauve rogues’ gallery, along with:

  Julian Tobey, 31, Loughborough – HEAD-BUTTED a shopkeeper, who gave chase after Tobey stole several bottles of wine and threatened to STAB him.

  Maurice Webber, 19, Luton – threw lit FIREWORKS at a pair of volunteers collecting money for a children’s CHARITY. The volunteers received minor burns but have been released from hospital.

  Denny Henlock, 24, Glasgow – PUNCHED an unsuspecting dinner lady outside her school’s gates, pushing her to the ground and stealing her bag in a VICIOUS mugging.

  Tim Snell, Anthony Hyde and Snowy Langen, all 14, Worthing – in the first reported case of a GANG of people being Turned, this motley crew of boys attacked FIREFIGHTERS who they had despicably summoned as a JOKE – delaying the fire engine getting to another, genuinely life-threatening, call.

  If it weren’t for Duncan having been Turned, Eve was seriously unsure that she would’ve been able to maintain her resistance to the Purple Scheme. Despite the sensible arguments against it – the wisdom of exemplary people like Helena, and Magnus – there really wasn’t any excusing such repellent behaviour. Was there? Maybe Julian Tobey was penniless, or an alcoholic; perhaps Danny Henlock was desperate, a drug addict. But that didn’t negate the fear or the suffering of their victims. Even with naiveté, or peer pressure, the Worthing ambulance-summoners should have known better – and who on earth would throw lit fireworks at another living soul? As for Sebastian Dell, his obnoxiousness and jaw-dropping lack of empathy turned the stomach. Eve groaned; this conflict felt uncomputable.

  The phone rang, then Womble called from upstairs, ‘Eve, someone for you.’

  Eve reached for the receiver.

  ‘Hi, Eve, it’s Finn.’

  ‘Finn! How are you?’

  ‘I’m Purple.’

  ‘Oh, wow.’

  After everything Eve had just been thinking.

  ‘That’s… great. Well, terrible, but great.’

  Was it really? she thought. Eve had been there, watching, as he was Turned, yet, like a befuddling illusion, she couldn’t say how it had happened.

  ‘Yeah. Sorry I didn’t let you know earlier. My mum’s gone spare.’

  ‘You will definitely be able to get Turned back?’

  ‘Probably. Mum’s saying we can’t ask my uncle again. But honestly, I don’t think he’ll want it in the papers that his nephew’s been Turned twice, so he’ll agree, I reckon.’

  ‘I do really appreciate you putting
yourself on the line like this.’

  The guilt, now.

  ‘No worries. I told Jason. He’s worried, but a bit chuffed, I think, that it might help.’

  ‘I know we already went through everything, and of course I saw everyone who was around you both when you were outside the pub, but there’s nothing else you remember, right?’

  ‘Nope. Didn’t feel anything.’

  ‘Right. Let me see what I can figure out. You’ll keep in touch and let me know when you’re Re-Turned? And if there’s anything else I can do?’

  ‘Yep.’

  ‘Great. Thank you again, so much… and I’m really sorry.’

  ‘Don’t be. All this has been amazing. Oh, and Eve?’

  ‘Yes?’

  ‘You’ll tell Simon I got Turned, won’t you?’

  ‘I will.’

  Eve tipped forward, resting her head in her hands. What had she done? And was it actually going to make any difference?

  Chapter Fifteen

  Rory was making his morning coffee.

  ‘Hi, Eve,’ he said, brightly. ‘I didn’t know we were going to have the pleasure of seeing you…’

  There was a pause. Was he going to add something else? You never quite knew.

  ‘Well actually, I wanted to have a natter with you,’ Eve said.

  ‘Really?’ Rory finished stirring his coffee and tapped the spoon decisively on the counter. ‘That sounds interesting.’

  ‘I’ve a bit of a strange query. There was a boy who Womble teaches who was Turned Purple—’

  ‘Oh. That’s unfortunate.’

  ‘I know. It seems to have happened that night we all went to the pub – do you remember? We bumped into you on the way?’

  ‘Of course.’

  ‘The random bit is that the boy who was Turned was in the area that afternoon – he was only a little way ahead of us when we bumped into you. He’s quite distinctive looking – his hair’s blue – and I just wondered if you might have seen him, or noticed anyone approach him?’

  Looking doubtful, Rory said, ‘Blue hair?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘I don’t think so. What should I have seen?’

  Eve sighed. ‘Probably nothing. You definitely didn’t see him, then? Or notice anything unusual?’

  Rory’s face wrinkled as he considered this. ‘I don’t think so, no.’

  ‘Of course,’ said Eve. ‘Never mind. I should go and let you crack on.’

  ‘Au revoir, then. Sorry I couldn’t…’

  ‘Help,’ said Eve, under her breath.

  *

  Eve’s veterinary pitstop had been made en route to visit Annie Morris, and aside from an obvious excitement at spending time with one of her heroines, she was glad of the distraction. She’d barely slept the night before, and wasn’t sure if that was the night-before-Christmas-ness of seeing Annie, or the sanity-shredding confusion of the Purpleness. Despite the fact that it was the very outcome that she had desired, Eve was upset at the thought of Finn being Purple, again. Especially given that however many times, notes in hand, she’d replayed he and Simon’s scuffle in her mind, she couldn’t see how it had happened. Were the police officers who’d seemed out of sight actually involved, or had the apparently innocuous, satin-frocked hen been an officer in disguise and nabbed Finn when she knocked into him? Those were the only possibilities Eve could think of, but, even so, she hadn’t seen how he had been Turned. No needle, no poisoned nectar, no sinister magic powder. It had happened right in front of her, and Eve still had absolutely no idea.

  *

  Eve’s arrival at Television Centre was much later than she’d intended – her teenage self planned to have rolled up years ago, ready to clamber the corporation’s news ladder – but it was still a thrill to be there. And professional path aside, the young Eve would have been more than impressed that her reason for being there now was to meet Annie Morris – and for a social engagement, no less.

  Eve could have spent hours sitting in the lobby, feeling the hum of activity in the hub where meetings began and ended, as smartly dressed people with clipboards and firm handshakes strode purposefully about. From the walls, decades of broadcasting greats watched the new faces coming and going as the revolving door spun, secure (at least for now) in their place in history.

  So far Eve had seen a pop duo dallying, one of them carrying a not insubstantial synthesiser case under his arm which, as he turned to greet a clipboard carrier (from the recently reinstated chart rundown show, Eve presumed), just missed knocking into a renowned wildlife presenter who was passing behind him. There was also a news reporter who the night before had been on location for a French election, and was carrying a duty-free bag.

  Eve had been so transfixed by the bustling activity that she hadn’t noticed Annie walking towards her. She was wearing a silky blouse with a high, gathered collar, and Eve couldn’t help but smile.

  ‘Eve!’ she said. ‘So lovely to see you.’

  ‘Lovely to see you too.’

  ‘I thought you might like to have lunch in the canteen,’ Annie said, ‘but we can go out to a restaurant if you prefer.’

  ‘I’d love to have lunch here,’ said Eve, with a laugh. The infamous canteen. Which legends would they spot in there today?

  ‘Shall we just spend a few minutes in the sunshine? I think it’s always sensible to get out and get some air,’ said Annie, heading towards the door.

  They walked along the street, past cafés and convenience stores, a newsagent’s, dry cleaners, a nail bar and a tanning salon. Eve thought of InTan. She’d been hoping she might hear more from Mina, but no. Another dead end.

  There were shouts from further along the road suddenly, and Eve looked over to see a Purple man being set upon by a trio of lads.

  A waiter from a nearby restaurant ran outside, flapping a menu, as though they were pigeons who could be shooed away.

  ‘What do you think you’re doing?’ he shouted.

  ‘He deserves it,’ said one of the three, kicking the Purple man.

  ‘They’re all scum, thinking they can do as they like and get away with it,’ said the second.

  ‘Yeah, causing trouble,’ said the third, spitting at the Purple man but missing, and instead sputtering into the gutter.

  ‘And what do you think it is you’re doing?’ said the waiter. ‘Making the world a better place?’

  ‘Exactly,’ one of the lads said.

  The waiter stood his ground.

  They shrugged, and then, as quickly as they had appeared, skulked off.

  ‘Thank you,’ said the Purple man. ‘I appreciate it.’

  The waiter nodded before marching back into the restaurant, shaking his head.

  The Purple man stood for a moment, watching him go. Wondering if he despised him too, Eve thought, despite the rescue. He had looked unassuming, normal, and was dressed quite smartly – not a stereotypical mischiefmaker or resembling most of the mugshots found in the Lav Line Up –so how was it that he’d found himself Turned? The man dusted himself down, glanced around. His gaze met Eve’s. She blinked. The man walked away.

  Thinking of Duncan, who, since visiting the police station, still refused to leave his house, she shivered. Was that what he would be subjected to if he went outside?

  ‘Are you okay, Eve?’ Annie asked.

  ‘Yes, of course, I—’ Eve stopped. He may have been through it before, but she’d lined Finn up for reactions like those, too. ‘What a mess,’ she said.

  ‘How’s your research going?’ Annie asked. ‘You were looking into that, weren’t you? You seemed intrigued.’

  ‘Well,’ said Eve. ‘Slow and frustrating progress. Like pogo-ing through treacle. Plus to be honest, I feel so conflicted. And I shouldn’t, should I?’

  Annie linked her arm through Eve’s. ‘Go on.’

  ‘One of my friends has been Turned. He’s a good guy. A really good guy, I think. And I—’ Eve wasn’t sure she could bring herself to confess about Finn, yet. />
  ‘You can rarely stop bad things happening to good people,’ said Annie. ‘Maybe your looking into the Turning could help him?’

  ‘But there aren’t even any crumbs of clues to be found. I’ve been scouring the news wires and other bits on the Portal, I’ve spoken to people who’ve been Turned, I’ve even…’ How could she put this? ‘I was with someone the night they were Turned, and I saw nothing. No police, they didn’t have a drink that could have been spiked, we didn’t see anyone –’ she shrugged – ‘I don’t know, stick a syringe in them, or something. And there was one crazy lead, which I tried to look into…’

  Should she tell Annie about InTan? Eve bit her lip.

  ‘You are being careful?’ Annie asked.

  ‘Yes, don’t worry,’ said Eve, deciding to hold her horses, for now, on the InTan front. ‘But no one – me included – seems to have seen, or felt, anything out of the ordinary. It’s incredible. If it turns out that Theo Fletcher’s got the Invisible Man Turning people, I won’t be surprised.’

  ‘Maybe he has,’ said Annie.

  Eve looked at her. ‘You haven’t heard anything?’

  ‘No.’ Annie shook her head.

  ‘Journalists don’t seem to know anything. I’ve spoken to some criminal defence lawyers with Purple clients – a lot of them are steaming about the scheme – but they don’t know anything, the police aren’t saying anything—’

  ‘You’ve been talking to the police?’

  ‘Just one PC, an old friend. He couldn’t say anything, and said to be cautious about looking.’

  ‘I agree.’

  ‘And if I saw someone Turned in front of my own eyes and still don’t know… it seems an impossible riddle. But they’re doing it somehow. I just wish I could find a loose-lipped somebody in the know.’

  ‘Unfortunately, I don’t think there’ll be a queue of those,’ said Annie.

  ‘I’m not being ridiculous though, am I? Honestly, if it weren’t for Duncan—’

  ‘He’s your friend who’s been Turned?’