Indivisible Souls: Book 3 of the Bound4Ireland Series

by Tricia Daniels

  “About what?”

  “My huge belly. It’s been a long time since you’ve touched me. I thought maybe you didn’t find me attractive anymore.”

  “First of all, it’s only been a few days since we’ve had sex.”

  “It feels like months,” she interrupts.

  Ethan chuckles. “No, days. Secondly, huge belly? Where exactly would that be? Most of the time, I have to remind myself that you’re five months pregnant.”

  She snuggles in against his chest. “I feel fat.”

  “Thirdly,” he persists. “You don’t think I find you attractive? Here.” He takes hold of her hand and slides it down his body and across his rock hard erection. “Ask my cock, what it thinks.”

  Ethan makes sure that his wife has been thoroughly fucked and no longer feels insecure. He lay beside her for the longest time, watching her sleep, and listening to the storm. The sound of the driving rain against the side of the house is almost soothing. When the lightening and thunder rolls through, making the streetlights flicker, he wiggles his way out of her grasp and sneaks out to shower. He’s standing in the hallway, reinstalling the bathroom doorknob, when she screams out. It startles him at first. It’s been a long time since nightmares have dared to appear. He waits to make sure she settles back okay then tightens the last screw.

  The sound of her scream is followed by the loud sound of smashing glass. Ethan bolts down the hall and into the room in a matter of seconds. The small bedside lamp is now across the room, smashed into a thousand pieces. Olivia thrashes and tosses around; still sound asleep. Fearing for her safety, he kneels on the bed. “Olivia.” He reaches for her, trying to still her hands and wake her from her nightmare. Screaming and struggling, she tries to get free from the blanket that becomes tangled around her. Tears stream down her cheeks as she mumbles things he can’t make out.

  “Olivia, wake up.” He wrestles with her, trying to grab her hands to prevent her from hurting herself. She continues to lash out at him; adrenaline has made her strong. When he finally gets her hands restrained, she jolts straight upright, suddenly awake. He immediately releases her, worried that restraining her will trigger any even stronger flight reaction. Gasping loudly, she pushes herself away from him, moving herself across the bed until her back is against the wall. She tries to focus, but her heart is racing at an incredible pace. “I can’t breathe,” she says in a panic, desperately trying to take in air. “Why can’t I breathe?” Covering her face with her hands, she pants through her fingers.

  Ethan quickly hits the light switch on the wall. “Olivia, it’s okay.” He feels as if there’s a heavy weight on his chest. This is the second time he’s watched the woman he loves unravel, and he feels helpless. Useless. Noah warned him about this and he was right. It’s the most horrific night terror he has ever seen and it’s his fault. Her body shakes violently as she tries to curl herself into a ball in the corner. “Olivia,” he whispers softly. Putting his knee on the bed, he reaches for her in a slow and cautious manner.

  She pulls the blanket up to her face and uses it to wipe away her tears. When her eyes adjust to the light, she lifts her head and sees him kneeling on the bed. He forces a smile trying to encourage her to calm down. “Okay now, Princess?”

  Immediately she shifts her weight onto her knees and throws herself against him, landing in his arms. The force of her body against him pushes him back against the wall, and he sits himself down and straightens his legs in front of him. In one swift movement he lifts her onto his lap. Her head rests on his chest, and she wraps her arms around him in a snug embrace.

  “It’s okay,” he soothes. “It’s okay.” He holds her head firmly against him, gently twisting her hair around his finger until her trembling stops. He holds her until she’s once again asleep in his arms.

  When she opens her eyes, she’s alone. As she lay there recalling the grim memories that spawned her nightmares, she hears clattering in the kitchen. Getting to her feet, she makes her way to the top of the stairs and sits, watching. The sight of him standing at the stove in his boxers makes her smile. The cheerful song he’s singing, in perfect pitch, is interrupted by his cursing as hot grease from the pan spatters, hitting his chest. This is the happiest and most relaxed she’s seen him in weeks. Sauntering up behind him, she wraps her arms around him and leans her cheek against his back.

  “Good morning, Mrs. O’Connell. Are you ready for breakfast?”

  “I’m not really hungry,” she admits.

  “I figured you’d say that, but you’re eating anyway.”

  “Bossy,” she quips, as she sits at the table.

  Ethan quirks a strange grin as he places a plate in front of her.

  “Holy Hannah!” She looks at the mountain of food he’s dished up in disbelief. “You could feed a village in Cambodia with this much food.”

  “Eat,” he demands, as he pulls out the chair and sits across from her.

  Olivia watches as he picks up his fork and begins to shovel his breakfast into his mouth; fuel for those well-defined, mountainous muscles. She raises her eyebrows, amused.

  “What?” he asks, feeling self-conscious.

  “Nothing.” She picks up her fork and moves her food around on her plate. “Ethan,” she sighs. “I need to go see Eva today.”

  Ethan stops eating, mid chew and looks up. “Eva?”

  She nods her head. “I need to talk to her.”

  “About?”

  “The memories I had last night.” She looks down to her plate and picks up a piece of bacon in her fingers and takes a bite.

  A look of concern morphs across his face. “Shouldn’t you see someone like a psychiatrist or victim’s counselor?”

  “They wouldn’t be able to help with these memories.”

  She explains, when he looks confused. “These are very old memories.”

  “Still.”

  “Something bad happened. In our past life, you were taken away from me. Both of you.”

  “Both of us?”

  “You and the baby. Gone.

  “I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Dead,” she clarifies.

  “Olivia,” he interrupts as she begins to break down, “those are just dreams.

  “It’s the reason I can’t breathe when I have those nightmares. The cold, the darkness… I think you drowned.”

  Ethan sits, trying to hide his concern. He’s had those dreams too. The last thing he wants is for her to be stressing over past life tragedies and putting this baby in danger. “Don’t get yourself so upset.”

  Olivia places her fork down on the table and sits back in her chair. “I need to know what happened. Maybe there’s something I’m supposed to remember… a message. Finding out might make the nightmares stop.”

  Ethan scratches his head. She has a point. He doesn’t like the idea of potentially uncovering such a tragic history, but he can tell from her body language that she’s already made up her mind. “Very well.” He nods in agreement. “But I’m going with you.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Needing some air, Olivia waits in the garden for Ethan to get ready. The fluttering of wings draws her out of her thoughts. The little green bird sits on the peg of the birdhouse, studying Olivia intently.

  “Well, hello there. I haven’t seen you for a long time.”

  Today her little green friend doesn’t greet her with her usual comforting song. She sits on her perch, silently. Her feathers ruffled. The marking on her chest is barely visible, Olivia notices. The bright white of her chest is dull grey, masking the normally dark contrast of the heart shaped mark. Reflective of everything that’s going on right now, she thinks.

  When Ethan comes out of the house, tiny bird eyes watch him. She lets out a few weak chirps, but Ethan is focused on other things. Flying from the birdhouse to the fence in front of him, she gets his attention. Ethan stops, tempted to try and coax her onto his hand. If he could just get close enough, maybe he could capture her and return her to the s
afety of her cage. Moving slowly, he cautiously takes a step forward. In one quick moment, the neighbor’s cat makes an appearance, jumping out of the tree and startling everyone. Olivia screams as the little green bird narrowly escapes.

  “Yes, Scott. We’ll be back in time to come over tonight. Is there anything we can bring?”

  “Just your wife. Mine is driving me nuts.”

  “I’m not into swapping,” Ethan jokes. “Besides, mine is just as bad.”

  “You know I can hear you, right?” Olivia shakes her head.

  Ethan disconnects the call and places his hand on her knee, moving it gently upward and caressing her thigh.

  “Are you sure Eva will be there today?”

  “Yes, I called her.”

  “She knows we’re coming?”

  “Yes.”

  Olivia stares out the window, pensively. “Why do you think she’s still here?”

  “Eva?”

  “No, the bird.”

  Ethan chuckles. “Having trouble focusing your thoughts, Love?”

  She nods. “I’m starting to feel a little overwhelmed.”

  “I bet. Try not to over think things. You’ll drive yourself crazy.”

  “Shouldn’t she have hibernated somewhere by now?”

  Ethan sighs, “Too late. I’m pretty sure birds don’t hibernate.”

  “So why is she still here?”

  “Maybe she doesn’t know where to migrate to. This isn’t her natural habitat, remember?”

  “I wonder why she doesn’t go home?”

  “I don’t even know if it’s possible for her little wings to carry her over the ocean.”

  “No, I mean Eva. Can you say that again? That sounded kind of sexy in your Irish accent.”

  “For the love of…” Ethan says frustrated.

  “Won’t she starve? Once winter hits in Canada, there won’t be any food.”

  Ethan raises a brow. “I’m gonna go out on a limb here, and guess you’re not talking about Eva right now.”

  Olivia gives him a sheepish grin. “No.”

  “Would you stop worrying about the bird? If she sticks around, we’ll make sure we put out food.”

  “What does she eat?”

  “I don’t know, Olivia. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but if it means you’ll stop worrying about it, phone Noah and find out.”

  “I’m pretty sure he’ll never talk to me again.” She frowns.

  “Oh, he will.”

  “You think so?”

  “Definitely, because he knows that it drives me out of my mind when you talk to him.”

  “I wish you two could just be friends and put all this childish jealousy stuff behind you.”

  Ethan glances at her as he pulls up in front of the old downtown shop. “That’s never going to happen.”

  “I didn’t think so. Well? I’m waiting.”

  “For what?”

  “For you to open my door. DUH!”

  Eva waits just inside the doorway of the century old shop. She already knows what brings them here. She’s seen it.

  Ethan escorts Olivia to the door, stopping her as she reaches for the knob.

  “What’s the matter?”

  Ethan turns her to face him and gently glides his fingertips across her cheek. She recognizes that look. She closes her eyes and waits for it, his sweet and tender brush of lips. It’s arrival, is always announced by his unmistakable expression of admiration.

  “For some reason, I just felt like I needed to do that before we went in there.”

  “I know. It’s way beyond my comfort level as well. But I need to know.”

  Ethan nods, and pulls open the door. Eva stands to the side and lets Olivia pass.

  “I’m ready for you in the back.”

  As she turns to follow Olivia into the room, Ethan takes hold of her elbow forcing her to stay behind.

  “She’s under a lot of stress. It could be fatal to the baby.”

  “I know,” Eva assures him.

  “You tell her what she needs to hear.”

  “She’ll learn what she needs to know.”

  “No, Eva, She needs to hear that everything is going to be fine. Lie to her, if you have to.”

  “She needs to know the truth, boy,” Eva advises.

  “Eva, I’m begging you. Please put my wife at ease. My baby’s life may depend on it.”

  Eva looks down at the grip he has on her arm. “Come. Listen. Learn.”

  Ethan sighs as he releases her and follows. Olivia waits for them, seated at the table in the dimly lit room.

  Eva deals out the cards and moves them around.

  “I see plenty of struggles for you both.”

  “That’s a no brainer. So do all the international newspapers,” Ethan says impatiently.

  “Shush!” Olivia warns.

  “These struggles will continue. There’s a lot of deception surrounding you both.”

  Ethan lets out a low growl, frustrated that Eva has chosen to ignore his request. If he thought for a minute that she’d forgive him, he’d pick Olivia up forcefully and take her out of here.

  “I need to know about the dreams,” Olivia clarifies.

  Eva places the cards down in front of her. “Shuffle and pick three cards. Turn them upright.”

  Olivia does as she asks, holding her breath. She glances over at Ethan, horrified. The Lovers. Pregnancy. Death. He curses.

  “Something horrible happened in that life,” Olivia begins. “I can feel it. I remember it.”

  Eva nods. “It was a tragic life. But it’s over. It had to end so that new life can begin.”

  “You were there. You know what happened.”

  “In a sense, I was. My spirit guides have shown me.”

  “Why am I remembering it?”

  “You’re meant to learn from it. Be aware.”

  “Of what?” she asks, becoming upset.

  “Olivia.” Ethan moves to her side. “The baby. Please stay calm.”

  “How did our baby die in our past life?”

  Eva hesitates, glancing at Ethan.

  Frustrated he throws his hands in the air. “Do it. Tell her the truth! Tell her everything.”

  “Your baby was ill.”

  “I don’t understand. In all my dreams, Ethan was a doctor. Why didn’t he make her better.”

  Ethan sits, feeling a little overwhelmed himself, as he listens to Olivia discuss out loud, details of his own dreams that he’s never shared.

  “He couldn’t, child. You lived in a small country township, a long time ago, long before the research and medical advancements of today. He didn’t have the knowledge or the training to save her.”

  “I need to know about the boat. The water,” Olivia says anxiously.

  “He was distraught at the loss of your child. Riddled with guilt and feeling like he failed you.”

  “He left me,” Olivia states, tears streaming down her cheeks. Ethan lowers his head, looking to the floor. Pain he has never allowed himself to acknowledge creeps into his chest, squeezing his heart in a death grip.

  “He loved you, child.” Eva reaches over to touch Olivia’s hand. “Don’t ever doubt that.”

  Olivia looks up through tear-filled eyes.

  “He wanted you, so desperately, to be happy; to have a family. He left to continue his education. To learn about the condition that took your daughter away from you. When he was settled, he planned on bringing you here, to Canada, where medicine and technology had made huge advancements.

  “He never made it,” Olivia sniffles.

  “No, he didn’t. There was a storm. The ship capsized in the middle of the ocean. There were no survivors.

  Olivia slides her hand onto Ethan’s thigh. He covers it with his hand and squeezes it tightly.

  “Is our baby going to die?”

  Ethan tenses and straightens in his chair. “Don’t answer that, Eva. Olivia, please. Enough.”

  “I need to know,” she pleads.
/>   “The future is fluid.”

  “Huh?”

  “He’s made the changes he needs to make in this life. Medicine is not where his success lies.”

  Ethan fidgets uncomfortably. “I guess at some point that will make sense to me?” He stands and digs out his wallet. “Well, thanks for everything.”

  “Wait,” Olivia interrupts. “I’m not done.”

  Ethan opens his mouth to say something and then glances down at her tormented look. He sighs and sits back down.

  “How do I know he’s not going to die again?”

  “Everyone dies eventually, Olivia,” he interjects.

  She ignores him and looks over to Eva.

  Eva holds up her hand and pauses, listening to her spirit guide.

  “What does your guide tell you?” Olivia asks curiously.

  “A trade was made.”

  “A what? You’re not making any sense,” Ethan complains. “Stop being so cryptic.”

  “A selfless sacrifice, made by one who loved you,” she continues to explain as Ethan contorts his face, trying to follow. “In many past lives, you were taken from this world, too young, while he lived a long and fulfilling life. In this life he traded his life to save yours.”

  “Who?” Ethan asks, wishing that he’d actually followed his thoughts and taken Olivia out of here kicking and screaming a long time ago.

  “Your twin,” Eva answers, casually.

  “My what?” he says skeptically. “I think you’ve got the wrong guy. I wasn’t a twin.”

  “Technically, no. He sacrificed his life for you, before it even began. Check with your mother, she’ll confirm it as true. In this life, you’re going to be around for a very long time.”

  “How do you know for sure?” Olivia asks, as Ethan gets to his feet, preparing to leave.

  “Give me your hand,” Eva says to him. Reluctantly he holds it out for her to study. She smiles, turning his palm up so Olivia can see. She traces her finger alone his long lifeline.

  Ethan unfolds several bills and places them on the table. Eva shakes her head and slides them back to him. “It took a lot longer to find her this time. The higher powers sometimes test us. They challenged your love by separating you, sending her to a different continent. But the universe will not be denied love, it found a way to bring you together.”