The Shadowglass

by Rin Chupeco

  Aenah knew loss, but her grief differed from yours. Your brother was old enough to be raised, had enough of his own will to be given his own freedoms. Aenah’s child had no such choices. Her daughter would always remain an infant, never growing up and never understanding what had happened. That knowledge tore at Aenah. Usij may have known similar agonies, though the well of his mind had been poisoned for far too long to draw sanity from its depths.

  You all worked together…

  No. We shared the same goals and sought to independently attain them by all means. As do you, Tea. Your colleagues sought to hide the truth from you. They are willing to kill you to preserve their objectives. Only you, of all the asha who claim the Dark, seek out shadowglass.

  This was the elders’ purpose, then? To kill me under the guise of a trial and an execution? Because my death under other circumstances would incite suspicion?

  Have you ever thought otherwise?

  I paused. No.

  Mykaela they can control. She is too weak. In time, they believe, opposition will fade once you are gone. There will be new empresses and new Dark asha, and the elders shall endure. That is the nature of tyranny, young Tea. Maintaining power is their sole intention. Why worry about retaliation and revolution when they have always intended to wield the sword? Such was Vernasha’s dream.

  You have kept yourself abreast of Kion politics.

  I am aware of many things.

  Why tell me this?

  We share the same goals, Lady Tea. We make good allies. What does it matter the means used to bring about the end result?

  You want destruction. You seek to complete shadowglass to rule. That is not the same as what I want.

  You do not know what it is that you want. You wish to rid the world of magic, yet you do not wish to rid yourself of your dead brother. It is a contradiction you have not yet come to terms with. The only solution is to wield magic for your own good, to suit the world to your principles. You know this. It gives you guilt. We are the same.

  We are not the same! You have killed so many! You blighted your own men!

  There must be sacrifices. Already we have given up too much. What is the difference if men fall to the blight or if they fall to an uncontrollable daeva? You have sacrificed your own people too.

  That’s not true! I refused to think about Telemaine, dead at his son’s hand, a murder I had indirectly carried out. I refused to think about poor Daisy. I refused to think about Fox, and Inessa, and Polaire.

  We are the same, he murmured. We were always the same. I knew as much the first time we met.

  Who are you?

  One of us shall find the First Harvest, Tea. It will not matter who takes the prize, for the consequences will be the same. Once you hold a god’s soul in your hands, you will not resist. You could make a compassionate ruler and shape the world to your liking. One day, you shall understand, and you shall thank me. In the meantime, consider the Drychta a gift, a pledge that we work toward the same objectives.

  No! I took a step toward him, but he gestured with his hand and I froze, unable to move.

  You have not known true power, Tea. The cloaked figure approached, and I felt fingers against my cheek. He leaned in close, his lips against my ear. I tried to draw back from the unwanted intimacy, but my body was immobile. The only way for you to truly understand me, he whispered, is for you to have a taste.

  His fingers marked a symbol on my temple, and power surged into me, more than I had ever taken in at one time. I gasped as I fell, my body my own once more, but still helpless as I clawed at my head and the surges of energy filling my vision.

  I was strength! Never had I felt more powerful, even when linked to the azi. I was ice and lightning and fire! I could feel the world at my fingertips! I could raise armies from the dead! I could raise them all—Polaire, Daisy, everyone! I could shape life into my own making, my own pleasure. I could become a god—

  Druj and the burning city vanished, and I was back in the cave, stumbling. Kalen’s hand was firm and secure against mine. “What did he do?” he asked tightly, his voice promising violence.

  “He wants me to find the First Harvest,” I whispered through parched lips. My voice rose in anger. “He wants to…to make an alliance.” What did you do to me, Faceless?

  All this power. Do you not hunger for it?

  I did. I wanted more of it, more of the Dark thrumming through me, although I knew it would be more than I could take, that the darkrot would find me quicker. And even with that knowledge, I still wanted more.

  I lashed out with my mind, intending to confront the Faceless, to release all my pent-up strength, but my mind encountered a vast nothingness. I could not find the Faceless’s thoughts, because there were no thoughts to glean from.

  “He’s an illusion!” As soon as I said the words, I felt Zoya and the others dissolving the wards, and the hooded figure disappeared along with them. No trace of him remained, leaving only King Aadil behind, who stared in confusion and anger as the man he thought an accomplice left him at the mercy of their enemies.

  At King Aadil’s command, his bodyguards strode forward but faltered when a gesture from Althy pinned them to the walls of the cave.

  With a roar, Aadil seized his sword and launched himself at us, his blade raised toward Althy’s face. But Kalen’s reflexes were faster, and his blade blocked the mad king’s blow. The Drychta ruler made another attempt, but a rush of Wind slammed him against the wall, knocking him out.

  “The Faceless was an illusion intended to deceive Aadil as well as us,” Althy said, staring down at the Drychta’s prone form. “It seems not even he was aware that Druj was a mirage. What did the Faceless tell you, Tea?”

  I stared where Druj had just stood. A stone jutted out of the limestone. No, not a stone. A Seeking Stone. A twisted crescent moon with inlaid stars had been carved into its center.

  “The First Harvest isn’t here,” I said hoarsely, still brimming with the immense power that the Faceless had given me. It was too much too soon, and I had to release it. “It was never here to begin with. He fooled us this whole time. He—I—all this bloodshed, just to reach out to me—”

  “Tea!” Kalen grabbed me as I slumped down. I could hear him barking orders at the others, no doubt sensing what was about to happen, but I no longer cared. There was a need inside me begging to be freed, the powers building until there was only exquisite pleasure until I had no choice but to burst.

  And I did.

  The ground before us tore open. The bones of beetles and roaches and spiders long dead scuttled out, freed by the potency of my spells, overrunning the walls. Larger skeletons followed suit, leopards and jaguars and people who had died in these mountains pushed their way out of the ground. A low moan rose from outside, and I felt rather than saw the dead blighted Drychta reconstitute themselves, this time under my reign. I heard the yells of fright, the sound of a thousand swords being drawn.

  “Kalen,” I heard Zoya say. “I’m sorry.”

  And then, without further warning, she drew back her hand and punched me.

  “She fooled you all.” The Dark asha sounded weary. “I should know. She fooled me too.”

  We remained rigid, with no choice but to cling to Tea’s every word. Wasn’t that what I wanted? I thought, angry. My bitterness must have shown, for she turned back to me. “Have you found the rest of the pages, Bard?”

  “No.” The word tasted stale in my mouth.

  Her black eyes gleamed, and her satisfaction was terrible to behold. “Good.”

  “Tea,” Lord Fox began.

  “The Hollows was a distraction. I knew, and I came anyway. She hoped that one of you would fall. Kance, Khalad, anyone I cared for who had come to repel the Drychta. She sacrificed the rest of the Drychta army for the chance to kill one of you and cause me further pain. She knew I would defend you. And s
he was right. And if this plan succeeded, then she wanted you to enter Drycht, to face a city full of nightmares.”

  “‘She’?” Lord Fox demanded.

  Lady Tea ignored him. “I weakened her, last we fought. I know I did. But she was wilier than even Usij. Usij was arrogant, not one to hide. His thoughts screamed to me all the way to Santiang, until my mind found that false pretender on the Daanorian throne and knew that it was he in disguise. But she—she was craftier. Where Usij disguised himself in the illusion of a royal emperor, she disguised herself as a woman I had loved and respected, so well that not even the Willows knew…” Her lip curled. “But then again, she always knew how to hide herself in Kion. She has been trained to hide there.”

  What a sight it was to see commanders and soldiers and a king on their knees at the Dark asha’s feet, even as she wavered, like a strong enough wind might send her stumbling. “I am done with setting fire to cities,” she told them. “But I will bring harm upon your kingdoms nonetheless because there is no other way. Send my apologies to Queen Lynoria, Lord Selvyant, for no longer will asha be born from Arhen-Kosho—or anywhere else, for that matter. You will need to find other revenues beyond Murkwick’s runeberry patch, Your Majesty. Knox—I am sorry for the nanghait that you can no longer hunt.”

  “Tea,” her brother pleaded, pained.

  The bone witch coughed. There were flecks of blood on her sleeve when her hand came away. “I will be the last bone witch, Fox. Mykaela is gone. The Faceless will win when I am dead. My daeva will succumb to their baser natures without me, and you cannot handle both them and the blight. You know that I cannot let Druj live. And as for Daisy—well, my life for hers. Was that not what you encouraged me to do, Your Majesty?”

  King Kance licked his dry lips and found his voice. “I remember what I said, Tea. But not like this.”

  “You idiot.” Lord Fox’s voice was no louder than a whisper. “To hell with magic. To hell with the asha and the Willows and the rest of the kingdoms. To hell with me. I don’t want you to die.”

  She smiled and placed her palm against his cheek. “I am already dying. There is a limit to shadowglass. It is like a hundred silver heartsglass, a hundred more ways to draw deeply of the Dark. I will not last the year. I will create shadowglass, or I will die. Sometimes it is that easy.”

  There were tears on his face. He moved to speak, failed, tried again. “Who is she, Tea? Who betrayed us?”

  She bent her head and told her brother a name.

  23

  “Well,” Zoya said, as I groggily shifted into a sitting position. “That was quite a show you put on, Tea.”

  My shoulder hurt. It was heavily bandaged. The rest of me was numb on lemon balm and lilybrew, and I wasn’t sure I could even feel my head. “How is everyone?” I mumbled.

  “Doing fairly well, considering.” Zoya was the last person I wanted telling me what I’d done wrong, and she was probably at my bedside for that very reason. “Considering you woke every dead critter to have ever lived inside Mithra’s Wall. We had quite the time getting out of the cave with your dead weight while skeletal insects and bats flew all over the place. I reckon I’ll have nightmares of beetle corpses crawling up my hair after this.”

  “Did I—?”

  “Kill anyone? Oh, thankfully no. You did the exact opposite. We endured the half-formed bats and undead roaches and rats, and we fought our way out of the mountain only to discover that you’d also summoned the bones of every animal that had ever walked this part of the plains, including the Drychta we’d already killed.”

  I tried to lurch out of the cot, ignoring my burning pain, but Wind held me in place.

  “Stop that,” Zoya said impatiently, flicking another rune in my direction, “especially after all the trouble it took to get you here. Everything’s under control. I thought they’d remain dead after I knocked you out and after Althy destroyed the Seeking Stone, but I guess a few corpses had a bit more agency than we thought. You’ve made peaceful yogis out of the surviving Drychta soldiers though. I’d bet all my hua they’ll never lift a sword again. That’s one way to scare fighters into farmers.”

  I touched my wound gingerly and flinched. “How did I get this?”

  Zoya’s mirth faded. She looked worried. “You don’t remember?”

  “Should I?”

  “I would think so, since you’re the one to go and stab yourself, which was why I punched you. I suppose you thought it was the only way to keep yourself from drawing in more Dark. Never do that again. It was rather unfair to Kalen, as he had to carry you with your blood dripping all over him. He’s been guarding you the last two days, and it’s only my wonderful skills of persuasion that finally convinced him to get some rest.”

  “I was out for two days?” I felt drained but also strangely restless. I had taken in more of the Dark than I’d ever done, but part of me yearned for more.

  “You really don’t remember?”

  “My memory has been bad as of late.”

  “Tea?” Kalen entered the tent, relaxing upon seeing me awake. He looked exhausted. “How are you?”

  “Doing much better, as you can see.” Zoya stood and rearranged her skirts. “I’ll be off now. Althy intends to return to Kion soon, and I suppose I’ll be forced to do the same.” Her voice softened. “I’m glad to see you’re better.”

  “You have to ward me,” I whispered, the instant Zoya was out of the tent.

  “Tea?”

  “You have to, Kalen.” I trembled, staring at my sheets. “I don’t remember. I don’t remember stabbing myself. Just like I don’t remember stabbing Daisy. I seem to lose more and more of myself every time I wield the Dark, and I don’t know what I might do next time. I’m starting to crave it. I can’t risk…”

  The bed dipped as Kalen pressed a knee onto the mattress, tugging me forward until I was in his arms. “You scared me today,” he said quietly.

  “That appears to be a habit of late.”

  “Do you really want to do this, Tea?”

  I nodded, my face buried against his chest. “Just for now. Please?”

  He said nothing else, but I could feel his runes wrapping around me, solidifying into barriers. The Dark slipped away. I was grateful that he didn’t argue for once—perhaps he’d sensed the fear I had and understood the reality behind it.

  I wanted to fuel my body with the Dark until I could lever the world with it. Druj wanted me a slave to power like an addict to opioids. Neither Aenah nor Usij would have dared. How could Druj channel that much power and not succumb to darkrot himself?

  Questions swirled inside of me, then were placated as Kalen’s wards did their work. The craving abated, though was not fully diminished. He said nothing, content to hold me close. And for the moment, that was all I wanted.

  • • •

  Kance visited me hours later. I had fallen asleep again and woke to find the Odalian king sitting beside me, holding my hand. He allowed himself a brief smile at my confusion. “I asked Kalen to stay with General Lode while he interrogates Aadil, as he would need my cousin’s expertise.” He watched me relax, and a small, sad smile crossed his lips. “How long have you two been together?”

  I looked away, embarrassed. “We became aware of each other’s feelings in Daanoris, Your Majesty.”

  “While searching for a cure to my sickness?” When I nodded, he sighed. “Thank you. It occurred to me that I had not yet shown you any gratitude for those efforts.”

  “Many things happened in the interim, Your Majesty.”

  “That’s no excuse. You frightened me, Tea. Kalen tells me that you have no memories of what transpired after Aadil’s capture. He also tells me that you chose to have yourself warded.”

  “I was fortunate that no one was injured this time, Your Majesty. I cannot take the same risks again.”

  “How many times have I tol
d you not to call me by titles? ‘Kance’ will do.”

  I kept my gaze down, disentangling my fingers from his. “I didn’t think I deserved that honor,” I admitted. “Not anymore.”

  “I remain wary of your abilities, Tea. I always will. But that doesn’t mean I’m not concerned for your well-being.” He leaned forward and gripped my hand, refusing to let go. “I suspected that there was something between you and Kalen soon after my engagement to Inessa.”

  “Your Majes—Kance—I hadn’t even realized then.”

  “But Kalen did. I know him well enough to see. He was good at keeping his emotions in check, but he always lost that composure whenever you were involved.” Kance chuckled. “I teased him about you—it was a day or two before I fell sick, I think. He didn’t even bother to deny it, just stared at me like I was a ghost. It made me jealous.”

  I looked at him, puzzled. I was certain he’d felt no romantic attachment to me before.

  He clarified. “I was jealous of both of you. Of how easy it was to choose to be with someone you loved, of how there was no burden on either of you as there was on me. I would have married Inessa out of duty, you know, even if my father hadn’t forced me to. But Inessa is made of stronger stuff than I. I resent her sometimes, and Fox.” He sighed heavily. “You didn’t choose the Dark just as I never chose to be born into royalty. Kalen told me about shadowglass. How using the spell would rid the world of all magic. What do you intend to do?”

  I closed my eyes. “What do you think I should do?”

  “I understand that you have a duty to the other asha, to the kingdoms that benefit from the runes they wield. You know more than I do of how heartsglass can help people, how my brother helps people. There are ramifications to losing that power, and it will affect everyone.” Kance fell silent for several minutes, though his hand never left mine.