Hold Me Close

by Shannyn Schroeder

  God, that had been so good. Phenomenal. A huge part of her was afraid she would never find that with anyone again. No, she would. She just had to give it time. And give Eli a real chance. She picked up her phone.

  How about we meet for dinner before my shift? There’s a restaurant down the street we can meet at.

  I’ll be there.

  Shane did what Jimmy O’Malley suggested and he called Detective Carroll. The man didn’t answer, so Shane left a message. All afternoon, Shane sat with his phone in his hand, willing it to ring.

  He had never been so nervous as when it finally did ring.

  “Hello.”

  “Mr. Callahan, this is Detective Carroll returning your call.”

  “Hi. Thank you for calling back. I think there’s been some confusion, and I don’t want it to negatively impact my chances for getting on the force.”

  “What’s that?”

  “I know you were asking about me downstairs at O’Leary’s Pub. I didn’t mention on my application that I work there because I don’t. Like I told you, I’m friends with the owner, so I fill in when they need some extra help.”

  Carroll didn’t respond and Shane couldn’t interpret silence.

  “My job, the one that pays the bills, is as a carpenter. I don’t rely on the bar for anything.”

  “If that’s the case, Mr. Callahan, I suggest you not only find a new place to live but also stop working there, even to help out.”

  Shane blew out a heavy breath. “Does that mean I still have a shot?”

  “Probably. We’ll be in touch. If you get the call for the interview, make sure you can provide documentation of the changes I told you to make.”

  “I will. Thank you.” Shane disconnected and struggled with the combination of emotions gripping him. He was relieved and anxious that his application appeared to be safe, but the nagging thought of leaving here, and Maggie, stabbed at him.

  It wasn’t the bar or the apartment, even though he had put in a ton of work. He knew it was Maggie that tore at him.

  She already appeared to be moving on, just like she said she would. Granted, they’d only had the weekend together, but he knew they had feelings for each other. He couldn’t understand why she didn’t see it. Surely if she did, she wouldn’t be searching for some other guy.

  He looked at his apartment. At least he didn’t have much to pack. He wondered how he’d be able to find an apartment to move into immediately. He supposed he could always move home, but he really wanted to avoid that. The idea of living with any of his sisters again was enough to knot his muscles.

  He loved his sisters, but Riley still lived at home and both Cara and Alyson showed up at least as often as he did. He needed his own space. Looked like he’d have to get his laptop back from Maggie for sure so he could apartment hunt. He changed into his O’Leary’s shirt and headed down to the bar for his first paid shift. The crowds would be crazy and would only get worse through the weekend. Keeping an eye on Maggie might prove to be impossible.

  After knocking on Maggie’s door and not getting an answer, he jogged down the steps and pulled up short at the bar’s back door.

  Friday afternoon, Maggie was determined to have a good time with Eli. They ate pizza and laughed about their failed attempt at sexting the previous night. She was at ease with him, which she considered a sure sign they had possibilities. He held her hand and walked her back to the bar before her shift.

  She checked the time. “I’m a little early. Let’s take a walk.”

  He continued to hold her hand and she led him around the corner and down the alley toward the back door of the bar. She stopped there.

  “I had a great time tonight. I wish we could hang out more, but the bar will be slammed the whole weekend because of Saint Patrick’s Day. I usually don’t work this many hours.”

  “I understand.” He leaned back against the brick building, tugging her with him.

  This was what she’d been hoping for by bringing him around back. He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her tight to his body. He was only about six inches taller than her, so they lined up pretty well. She closed her eyes and leaned in.

  It was like he was waiting for her mouth. He didn’t make a move other than his first to pull her close. She connected her lips to his, brushed them, and stroked her tongue along them. His hands stayed planted at her hips.

  She wanted more: more movement, more action, more passion.

  The hairs on her neck bristled to attention, and she knew Shane was there. Felt his gaze on her skin. One look from him, one that she couldn’t even see, made her blood race more than having Eli’s tongue in her mouth.

  Man, was she fucked up.

  The back door to the bar slammed with Shane’s entrance, and Maggie pulled away. “I have to get in. My shift’s about to start.”

  “Have a good night.”

  She backed away. “You too.”

  As she walked through the back of the kitchen, she wiped her hand over her mouth. She got to the wall where employees stowed their things in cubbies, and Shane was waiting for her.

  “A little old to be making out in an alley, aren’t you?”

  “We were not making out. It was a kiss.” And not a very good one. She bit her tongue before those last words could escape. She really didn’t need Shane’s “I told you so.”

  They walked out to the bar together, and she couldn’t believe her eyes. As crowded as they’d been last night, tonight was a wall of people from one end of the bar to the other. “Holy crap.”

  Shane muscled his way through the bodies and found a spot near the archway that divided the back of the bar and the front. Maggie wrapped her apron at her waist and checked in with Mary and Ryan. This wasn’t going to be like a regular shift where she had a station to focus on. In addition to her station, people would flag her down from where they stood in the middle of the floor.

  A band was doing a sound check on stage. It was about to get even louder. Maggie pushed all thoughts of guys out of her head and focused on the job. With her pad in her pocket, she walked through the crowd and began taking orders. By the time she delivered the first round, the band had started playing Irish folk music.

  The sounds brought her back to her childhood, and she wished she could just stand and enjoy. Someone came up and bumped her shoulder. Maggie turned and saw Moira standing beside her.

  “Is it like this every year?”

  Moira wobbled her head side to side. “Kind of. It’s worse this year because the actual holiday lands on the weekend.”

  “I’m kind of glad I’ve missed out on this. It’s crazy.”

  “Yeah, but it’s the good kind of crazy.”

  Maggie lost track of how many employees Ryan had working. At least two fights were broken up, and twice Shane had to help muscle her through a crowd to deliver orders. Unlike the other bouncers, who simply created a path for her to follow, Shane held her close, one time carrying the tray over his head for her. When he’d put his hand on her hip to guide her through, she’d had a hard time focusing on where she needed to go.

  So much for putting men out of her mind. Some of them, she’d like to do more than put out of her mind. As the night wore on, the guys got friendlier and handsier. But Shane acted as her personal bodyguard. She never had to do more than slightly admonish a guy. If another attempt was made, Shane was at her back.

  He hadn’t thrown anyone out, but Maggie was convinced it had been unnecessary because of the look on Shane’s face.

  The music was loud and fun. At one point, Moira grabbed her hand and yelled, “Let’s dance.”

  Maggie pulled back, but Moira insisted. She had the band play a song and the two of them did an Irish step dance together like they had as kids. Tomorrow night they would have a real dance troupe performing, but the drunks at the bar were impressed with the O’Leary sisters and their hacked-up, half-remembered steps.

  They left the stage completely out of breath from laughing. Customers sh
oved singles at them for tips as they walked by. Shane met her by the arch and handed her a glass of water. She grabbed it and gulped. “Thanks.”

  “You looked cute up there.”

  She rolled her eyes. “You saw the same dance last week.”

  “But it’s better when there are two of you having fun.”

  “Yeah. It was better.” She finished the water. “Well, back to work.”

  Before she walked back to the bar with her glass, Shane grabbed her arm. “Don’t think I’ve forgotten about our conversation.”

  “I know.” But she didn’t say more. She dropped her glass off at the bar and walked the room clearing empty bottles and taking orders.

  By the time the night was done and the last customer left, Maggie was dead on her feet. She looked around the room. All of the O’Learys were there, plus the regular staff filled the space.

  Ryan stood at the bar. “Can I have everyone’s attention?”

  Movement across the room stopped. Everyone faced Ryan.

  “First, I want to thank you all for your hard work tonight. We had very few problems and most people seemed to enjoy themselves. I’ve got a skeleton crew on during the day tomorrow because I’m hoping it won’t be too busy. At least until the parade is over. We still have a lot of cleanup to do, but I think you all deserve a drink.”

  No one moved.

  Colin yelled, “Come on. Belly up to the bar.”

  Everyone moved like a wave. Maggie followed and Ryan and Colin poured shots and beer for everyone. Maggie reached for a glass of beer.

  Shane looked at her. “A beer?”

  She nodded. “I had a couple at Moira’s last weekend. They were good.”

  When everyone had a drink in hand, Colin raised his. “To Patrick O’Leary for founding one hell of a bar. And to all my O’Leary siblings for showing up today. Sláinte.”

  Maggie took a drink of her beer. It wasn’t as good as the bottled beer she’d had last weekend, but it wasn’t bad. She took another sip.

  Shane’s mug was already half empty. “You’re really going to drink a beer. I can’t believe it.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you stopped drinking five years ago.”

  She quirked an eyebrow. “I’m restarting a lot of things I stopped doing five years ago.”

  Although she’d had only a few swallows of beer, she might as well have been drunk to say something like that.

  But Shane smiled. “So you are. That’s one of the things we need to talk about.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “This guy you were with—”

  “Eli.”

  “Yeah.” His yeah was every bit a whatever. “Is it serious?”

  “How can it be serious? We just met and went out a couple of times. The important thing is that I want to give him a chance. For the first time in forever, I want to see what happens.”

  She studied his face and tried to figure out where he was going with this. She wrapped her arm around his. “I know you worry, but I’m okay. I’m not rushing anything.” She smiled up at him. “Well, maybe I rushed the kiss with him, but you know how important a kiss is. If that’s not right, nothing else matters.”

  “Is it?”

  “Is what?”

  “The kiss right?”

  She took another gulp of beer to avoid answering, but Shane was relentless anytime he asked a question. He was going to make one hell of a cop. A long, slow inhale and then she said, “I’m not sure yet.”

  Shane snorted and disengaged his arm. He grabbed a broom and started sweeping. She ran around to get in front of him. “Hey, what is that supposed to mean?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Come on. Say it.”

  He leaned the broom against a table and took two steps toward her. His eyes were hard but not angry. She backed up and bumped into the corner of a booth. Shane kept coming.

  “A kiss isn’t something to have to think about or decide on. It’s right or it’s not. In the moment you can’t think. You don’t analyze. You just feel. And if you’re telling me you’re not sure, this guy doesn’t know what he’s doing.”

  He stood so close that she felt his breath on her face, a warm caress to go with what felt like a warning.

  “What do you know?”

  He took a full step back. “I know what I’m doing. You know it too.”

  Then he turned and went back to sweeping the floor. Maggie stared at him, not sure what to say or do. This was a different side to Shane. This was the Shane that burned a hole in her back while she kissed Eli. This was the Shane who was bossy and controlling.

  Unfortunately, she had no idea what any of it meant or what she was supposed to do with it. So she did what she did best: She walked away.

  CHAPTER 16

  Shane and Maggie worked the weekend with a barely perceptible rift between them. Frustration consumed him. He’d almost kissed her the other night at the end of their shift. He’d been too wound up hearing her talk about giving Eli a chance. He’d wanted to shout that he deserved a chance, but that would make him sound insane.

  So he dialed it back. His life was out of kilter and he couldn’t afford to take it out on Maggie. They needed to have a conversation, a real one without the O’Leary’s staff standing by observing.

  He knew the chemistry exploded between him and Maggie. He’d be able to convince her they could be more. But first he had to tell her about moving out and on. He didn’t want to start a new relationship with lies between them.

  She had the night off at the bar, and he’d already told Ryan that he was done. He ordered a pizza to be delivered to her apartment and now he was just waiting for her to get home. That morning in passing she mentioned a new job, something to do with Moira, and then left.

  A thump on his door let him know she was home. “I have pizza.”

  He swung his door open and Maggie stood there with a bright smile, holding their dinner.

  “I have excellent timing. I pulled up right behind the delivery guy. I’m starving.” She spun on her heel and walked across the hall.

  Sometimes he forgot how much of a whirlwind Maggie could be. He followed into her apartment and watched her carefully lock up. “You look happy.”

  “It’s amazing. I thought when I met with Moira and her friend Tara that I was heading into something good. I told you about that, right? Anyway, part of me was hesitant because, let’s face it, I’m not a photographer, but it’s fun. And like Moira always says, why work a job you hate? I’m so glad I tried.”

  Another thing he forgot about Maggie was when she spent a lot of time with Moira, she started to talk like her. He remembered that being at the O’Leary house and listening to the two of them talk was like being caught between dueling tornadoes.

  “Are you listening?” She grabbed some water from the fridge as he opened the pizza box.

  “Yes, I’m listening.”

  She inhaled, and he took note of the tight sweater she wore. Bright blue to match her eyes. “So this weekend, even though I knew it would mean going on almost no sleep, I went to the parade and took some pictures and then I snapped some shots on my phone at the bar.” She grabbed a slice of pizza and bit into it.

  Shane ate without responding because he figured she had more to say.

  “I had to play with the ones from the bar, but the parade turned out great. Tara loved them. She definitely wants me to do more, cover more events for her. She plans to launch her ezine at the beginning of the summer.”

  “Ezine?”

  “Online magazine. Digital only. In the meantime, Moira and I are going to help her build content for a soft launch.”

  Shane ate his pizza and tried to figure out what language Maggie spoke. He had no idea what she was talking about. “What does all this mean?”

  “It means I’m getting in on the ground floor of a new magazine. If it succeeds, so do we. Although Tara is the main backer, Moira and I are here at the beginning. It’s exciting to start somethi
ng new. To build something.”

  “Yeah, it is. You don’t have plans tonight, do you?”

  “I actually have to go take some pictures at a community fun fest for the newspaper Moira got me in with.”

  “So you’re really doing this. Becoming a photographer.”

  “I think so. I thought about going back to school, but nothing is grabbing me. I’m having fun with this.”

  They ate in silence for a few minutes.

  “What about you? What happened with the police?”

  “Well, I still have a shot, but I need to move out of here and not work at the bar anymore.”

  “Oh.”

  “But Detective Carroll led me to believe that if I do that, I’m in. I’ll be in the next round of recruits.”

  “Congratulations.” Her voice held no enthusiasm.

  “You don’t sound very happy for me.”

  “I am. I mean, I know you want this, but being a cop is a dangerous job. It’s scary.”

  “I’ll be fine. I take a greater risk working in the bar.” He finished off his pizza and water. “But I wanted to talk to you about the rest. I’m going to be moving out pretty fast.”

  “Like how fast?”

  “Hopefully within a week.” He huffed out a breath, not knowing how to soften the next part. “I think you should move out too.”

  “Why? I just got settled.”

  He knew that no matter how he answered this, she would get mad, but he had to say it. “I won’t be here.”

  “So? We’ll see each other often enough, I hope.”

  “But I won’t be here, Mags. You’re already moving on from working at the bar. Move out.”

  “Wait. I didn’t say I was quitting at the bar. Yeah, I have new jobs lined up, but they won’t pay the bills yet. I have to keep waitressing. Although I’ll miss having you around, you not being here won’t have an impact on me keeping my job.”

  He blew out a heavy breath. “I don’t want you to stay here. Not working. Not living.”