Past Lies

by Bobby Hutchinson

  Mavis gave a snort that managed to sound both doubtful and delighted.

  Caitlin took Alex’s arm and led him down the hall to the den where Theo was sitting in a recliner. He got up when they came in.

  “I told this young man you’d want to see him and thank him yourself, dearest,” Caitlin said. The love she felt for her husband was obvious in her voice. It made Alex suddenly feel lonely.

  “I sure do.” Theo was much thinner and older-looking. There was a fragility about him that shocked Alex as he took the older man’s hand.

  “Welcome home, Theo. It’s very good to have you back.”

  “Thank you. Ben said you did everything but dust while I was taking it easy in that hospital bed. I want you to know how grateful I am, son. And I saw the cabins when we landed—they look wonderful. I haven’t had a chance to take a closer look yet, but it was a real pleasure to see them so nearly completed.” Theo sank back into the recliner and gestured at an easy chair beside him. “Sit down, tell me what’s left to do on them.”

  Alex gave him a brief summary, and they discussed plumbing and electricity. Then Alex said, “There’s only a couple of hours work left. When I have the roofs finished, Theo, I’m going to be leaving.”

  Theo nodded. “I figured as much. You’ve already done way more than we agreed to in the beginning. Just let me know when you plan to head off, and I’ll have a check for you.”

  “Thanks. It’ll probably be in the next day or two.”

  “Heading off into the bush, like you planned?”

  “Yes.” Again, Alex had that sinking feeling in his gut. “The weather’s good, I’d like to get started.”

  “Any chance you might want a full-time job when your trek is over? We could use a man with your diverse talents around here.”

  Alex shook his head. “Thank you, Theo. The offer’s much appreciated. But I think I’ll be going back when my trip is over.”

  “Our loss. Before you set off into the bush, you be sure to leave us a detailed map. For safety’s sake.”

  “I will. I’ve really enjoyed my time here at the lodge. I only wish you hadn’t been sick.”

  “Me, too, son. Me, too.”

  Theo seemed to be fading, so Alex got to his feet.

  “I’ve left Oliver unloading the boat. He won’t be very impressed with me unless I get back out there.”

  “I’ll see you at supper, then.” With an exhausted smile, Theo used the controls to tip the chair back and, by the time Alex left the room, the older man’s eyes were closed.

  Outside, the day was clouding over and the wind off the ocean was brisk. Alex shivered, but the cold he felt had nothing to do with the weather. He glanced over at the empty helipad. He’d told Theo. Now he’d have to tell Ivy he was leaving, and the thought filled him with dread.

  IVY LANDED THE COPTER, relieved beyond belief to be back at the office. Rick and Irv, the two men she’d spent the afternoon flying around, were easily the most objectionable idiots she’d ever met. They’d made one crude sexual joke after the other, and they’d each taken a turn at trying to convince her to spend the evening with them. Most damning of all from Ivy’s point of view, they’d been totally oblivious to the raw beauty of the country she’d flown them over.

  “End of the line, gentlemen, everybody out.” Gentlemen was her private sarcasm, and her smile was more like a grimace, but these two idiots were too self-absorbed and thick-skulled to even notice.

  “Honey, you sure you won’t change your mind about tonight? We’ll show you the best time this burg has to offer. Money’s no object. We got unlimited expense accounts, right, Irv?”

  “Righty-o. And it would be real sweet of you to line up a friend, honey. Maybe one of those little native girls prancing around in tight jeans,” Irv the nerd added.

  “The answer’s still no.” Ivy didn’t care if she sounded rude. All she wanted was to get these two gone and go into the office bathroom to wash.

  As soon as they were out of the copter, she turned on her heel and made for the trailer. She could hear them behind her, arguing now over whether it was possible to even get a decent piece of tail in this godforsaken hick town. Fuming, she felt like going back and kicking them in the balls, but she settled for slamming the trailer door as hard as she could—and was amazed to find her mother and father sitting in the office.

  Tom was behind the desk, and Frances was seated in the old wooden armchair across from him. There was a large brown envelope and several legal-looking documents in front of Tom.

  They turned toward her, and she instantly sensed the tension in the atmosphere.

  “Bad trip?” Tom squinted out the window at the two paunchy men now sauntering down the street.

  “Bad as it gets. I charged them double the usual rate—I should have tripled it.” She nodded at Frances. “Hi, Mom. I have to use the bathroom, be out in a sec.”

  She took her time washing, trying to imagine what was going on. Frances hardly ever dropped by the office. Ivy walked out and poured herself a coffee, noting that both her parents had full mugs that looked untouched.

  “So what’s up, guys?” She tried for a casual tone, but she was beginning to feel anxious.

  Frances glanced at Tom, but he shook his head and shrugged. When she spoke, Frances’s voice was higher-pitched than normal.

  “Tom and I are separating, Ivy. I’ve brought your father the legal papers to sign. I’ll be moving to New York as soon as the school year ends. I have an offer of a job there.”

  It shouldn’t have been such a huge shock. Ivy had always known their marriage wasn’t the stuff romance novels were made of. In high school, when her best friend’s parents were going through a bitter divorce, Ivy had been certain it would happen to her parents as well. But the years passed, and they seemed to arrive at some sort of agreement. She’d gotten lulled into believing they’d stay together forever.

  Frances was watching her. Ivy hadn’t noticed before that there were lines around her mother’s mouth and eyes. “I wanted to tell you that day we had lunch, Ivy, but you left before I could.”

  “So what were you planning to do, Mom, leave me a little note the day you left?” That was sarcastic, but Ivy couldn’t help herself.

  “I—I was hoping—” Her mother looked over at Tom. “I know you’re close to your father, I was hoping he’d explain.”

  “That would suit you fine, wouldn’t it, Mother?” She was shaking. Ivy set the mug she was holding down on the table. The coffee slopped over the rim. It had dripped all over her shirt.

  “Just like always, you’d leave it up to Dad to clean up your mess.”

  She grabbed a towel and gave the stains a vicious rub. “You wouldn’t have to get into any nasty emotional stuff that way, would you?”

  “Ivy, please—” Frances got up and came over. She put a hand out, but Ivy brushed it away. She felt like striking her mother.

  “How can you do this? I mean, it’s really not such a big deal for me, but how can you treat Dad this way? He loves you, you know that. He’s the one who’s always been there for you, he’s the one who picked up the slack when I was little and you were depressed all the time.” Ivy’s voice rose. “If you were so dissatisfied, why didn’t you leave years ago? Why wait till now?”

  Frances kept her voice soft and even. “Because I was sick, Ivy. Depression is an illness, like any other.”

  “That’s it? You were depressed and now you’re not, so now you can walk away?”

  “That’s not how it is at all.” Frances put her jacket on and picked up her handbag. She gathered up the legal papers and fitted them back into their envelope. “Ivy, I hope we can talk when you’re not so angry.”

  “Yeah, well, don’t hold your breath.”

  Frances left without another word.

  Ivy waited until the door closed after her and then sank into the chair where her mother had been sitting.

  “I suppose she wants half of everything you’ve got,” she raged. “W
hich will affect the business, right? You’ll have to mortgage Up And Away in order to pay her off, won’t you, Dad?”

  “That’s between your mother and me.”

  She could hear in Tom’s voice how upset he was.

  “It won’t affect your share of the business, we agreed on that. You shouldn’t be so hard on her, honey.”

  Disgusted, Ivy sprang to her feet again. “How can you say that? You always defend her, Dad.” She strode up and down the small area. “Maybe I should look on the bright side, maybe you’ll be better off without her.”

  “Don’t ever say such a thing.” Teeth clenched, Tom got up and put his jacket on. “I don’t want to hear any more about it. I’m taking Bert up for a lesson, he’ll be along any minute. Are you taking the copter back to the lodge tonight?”

  For a moment, her anger flared at her father as well. In his way, he was as bad as Frances at avoidance.

  “I’ve got a booking with those German people for early tomorrow morning. They want to see where the eagles are nesting.”

  “I probably won’t see you until tomorrow afternoon, then.” He hesitated. “Do me a favor and don’t mention anything about this at the lodge. I’ll tell them when I’m ready.”

  “I won’t say anything.” She wouldn’t have told Caitlin even if he hadn’t asked; there was always that hint of discord between her aunt and her mother. And even now, as furious as she was with Frances, Ivy still wouldn’t betray her mother that way.

  “Thanks.” He sighed and put an arm around her shoulders, squeezing her for a moment. “Don’t take it so hard, Ivy. I’ve known it was coming for a long time.”

  He was out the door before she could reply.

  Feeling deserted, she drew in a sobbing breath, realizing she was close to tears. There was only one cure when she felt this upset. She needed to fly.

  She watched from the window until her father and Bert motored out into the chuck and took off, and then she went out to the copter, forcing herself to concentrate on the preflight checks, the procedure for liftoff.

  As the Bell rose into the afternoon sky and the little town of Valdez melded into the surrounding mountainous landscape, Ivy waited for her mood to improve. But it didn’t happen. Then, in a short time, the lodge came into view and, as she guided the copter down, she saw Alex.

  He was walking in the direction of his cabin, and he looked up and waved. The sight of him finally lifted her spirits.

  Once the copter was safely on the landing pad, it came to her that she wanted nothing more than to be with Alex. She wanted him to hold her close as she told him about her parents. She could confide in him. She felt safe and secure when she was with him. Even though they argued sometimes, she respected his opinion.

  Sitting behind the controls, she could see her little cabin, although Alex’s was hidden, shielded by a grove of trees. She wondered for a moment why he hadn’t come over when he’d seen she was about to land.

  She didn’t dwell on it. There were enough troubling things to think about, including the fact that there was now no reason for her to be staying here. She’d have to pack up her gear and move back to town, which meant she wouldn’t be able to spend every night with Alex anymore.

  That fact just plummeted her back into her earlier darkness.

  On so many different levels, she was involved with him. She was strong enough to handle this emotional stuff on her own, she knew that. She just didn’t want to. She wanted Alex’s input, his support, his viewpoint. She wanted him.

  This thing with Alex was different. This time, the more they were together, the more time she wanted to spend with him.

  He made her laugh, he made her think, he made her angry and then kissed and teased her out of it again.

  Her heart slammed into her ribs as she admitted to herself that she was in love with him. Should she tell him? She shook her head. Now wasn’t the time.

  There were other things she needed to tell him. She climbed out of the copter and headed for his cabin. “Knock, knock, anybody home?” She opened the door, trying to sound upbeat.

  Alex was standing at the window, looking out at the ocean. He didn’t say anything as she stripped off her jacket and her boots.

  She walked over and wrapped her arms around him, breathing in his familiar smell. His arms came up and held her close, and for the first time in hours she felt safe.

  “Professor, I’m so glad you’re here. I really need to talk to you.”

  “Okay.” He kissed her softly, released her and moved to the table. He pulled out a chair for her and took the one opposite. “I’m listening.”

  Ivy sat down, wishing he’d gone on holding her. But the cabin was too small for a couch, and the bunk was the only other alternative. Actually, it was the one she’d have chosen.

  He reached across and took her hand in his, interlacing their fingers so their palms were joined. “You go first.”

  She was too consumed by her own troubled emotions to notice how serious he was being.

  “My mother’s leaving,” she burst out. “She’s divorcing my dad, leaving Valdez, moving to New York. I just found out.”

  There was a long silence. She watched his face and waited for him to say something.

  “Maybe she’s doing what she needs to do, Ivy.”

  “Oh, I’m sure she thinks so.” Her bitterness and anger spilled out in a flood of words. “She’s so goddamned selfish. All my father and I have ever done is pay attention to what Frances needs. The whole household always revolved around her. Dad and I would tiptoe around when she was having one of her low times, which was every other week. We’d bend over backward trying to please her, but she never appreciated anything. And now when she’s finally on some sort of an even keel, well, now she’s walking out on him.”

  Again, he was silent for quite a long time. He blew out a breath and then said, “Marriage is never all one-sided, Ivy. No one ever knows what’s really between two people.”

  “I know.” She banged their joined hands on the table for emphasis. “I lived with them, remember?” It irritated her that he wasn’t sympathizing. “I know you and Dad have some issues, but believe me, if you’d ever met my mother, you’d realize that the problems in their marriage aren’t his fault. Not by a long shot.”

  He waited a heartbeat, and then he said, “I did meet your mother, Ivy. I liked her very much.”

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  I can’t wait much longer for the weather to get better, money just evaporates hanging around Valdez. Hope all’s well with you and the sprout.

  From letters written by Roy Nolan,

  April, 1972

  IVY FROWNED. “You—what? You met Frances?” She stared at him, astounded. “When? How could you meet her? She never comes here.”

  “I met her today, in Valdez. I had to take a boat and go into town for supplies. She stopped and introduced herself. We talked for a while.”

  “Talked? With Frances? About what?” An entire new sense of betrayal was beginning to take form and her gut reacted, cramping.

  “About your brother, Jacob. About Annie. Losing them gave us something in common.”

  “She talked about Jacob? She never talks about Jacob.” Not to Ivy, anyway. “What time was this?” She hugged her belly. She needed to know exactly when.

  “About three.”

  “Three. So, did she happen to mention she was heading over to the office right then to get Dad to sign separation papers?”

  “Of course not. She wouldn’t tell me something like that.” He was losing patience with her. And he was defending her mother, which hurt like hell.

  He seemed distracted, and Ivy began to sense that there was something more, something he wasn’t saying. His voice was gentle and even that angered her. She pulled her hand away as he went on in a perfectly maddening, reasonable voice.

  “I’ve heard that when your parents divorce, it’s traumatic, no matter what age you are, Ivy. But don’t you think you’re reacting a little too str
ongly here? You do have a tendency to worship your father, and maybe that’s clouding your judgment just a little about Frances.” He stopped and frowned. “Sorry. That’s such a load of pop psychology it’s nauseating.” He reached over to take her hand again, but she snatched it away. “Come on, Ivy. Don’t be so hard on her. Nobody’s perfect.”

  Her voice rose. “Don’t you think I know that? I do know both of them, they’re my parents, for God’s sake. And I don’t think you have the right to make judgments. You’ve only met my mother once. That’s hardly enough time to find out what she’s really like.”

  “I agree, that’s true.” His tone became stubborn. “But I found her a lot easier to get on with than Tom.”

  “Really? I don’t suppose the fact that she’s drop-dead gorgeous had anything to do with that.” She knew that was way out of line, but she didn’t care. “Men have been known to lose the power of speech around my mother.”

  Instead of getting defensive, he just looked amused. “Now you’re really being childish.”

  She knew that, too. And she certainly didn’t appreciate having him remind her. She was close to tears again. She’d come to him for comfort.

  “I should go.” She started to get to her feet.

  “Wait, please. There’s something I need to tell you.”

  She sank back into the chair. “Okay, I’m listening.”

  “The cabins are nearly done. There’s still a little carpentry after the electricity and plumbing go in, but Ben can easily manage that.”

  “You’re leaving.” The bottom seemed to drop out of her stomach.

  “Yes. I told Theo this afternoon.”

  “When? When are you going?” As if it mattered.

  “Tomorrow, probably.” He leaned toward her. “Ivy, you know I came up here to follow my father’s map. I need to find out what I can about him, and this is the only way that feels right to me.”

  “Are you coming back?” She hated herself for even asking.

  “My Jeep is in Valdez.” His words came out faster, defensive. “But I won’t be staying long. I have to get back to San Diego, pick up the pieces of my life. I’ll be in touch. I’ll certainly see you when I get back, but it may not be for more than a day or two.”