But that didn’t mean I didn’t wish I had more moments like this.
“Do you want another one?”
I shook my head. “Better not.”
“Are you going to make me feel guilty for eating another?”
I looked over at her and paused. “Are you going to rub it in my face?”
She smirked and brought the cookie to her lips, slowly opening her mouth and licking the edge. She winked at me and took an enormous bite.
“That’s cruel.”
She shrugged. “Life isn’t fair.”
“No. It’s really not.”
I looked back over the city, hoping she didn’t notice my mood change.
“What’s wrong?”
I inwardly groaned. She and Chloe were two of a kind. They both knew how and when to push me.
“Something happened earlier.”
“Something with the team?”
I glanced over, and her concerned expression made me feel bad. “No. nothing like that.”
“Then what?”
I sighed. “Reese and I had a chat.”
“Okay.”
I appreciated that she didn’t push me. She was going to let me take my time.
“I knew it was coming.” I looked out at the city, not wanting her to see my emotions.
“But it wasn’t a good chat?”
I shrugged. “For him it was.”
“But you’re upset about it?”
I shouldn’t be. I should be happy my sister found someone who treated her like the queen she was. She deserved it.
“Maybe.”
“Is there anything you can do to change it?”
I shook my head once. “No.”
“Is that you giving up, or do you not want to change it?”
“I don’t want to change it. Not really.”
I knew I wasn’t making sense, but I wasn’t ready to say it aloud. Plus, she and Chloe were friends. I couldn’t ask her to keep that a secret.
“It’s going to be a good thing, but I need time to accept it.”
“I know something that will help.”
I looked over at her and she held out a cookie. I shook my head, but she thrust it forward. “This will work. If you think about the thing you’re upset about while eating a cookie, you’ll create a positive association for the thing.”
“Or it will make me hate cookies.” I could tell by her fallen face she hadn’t thought of that.
“You’re not supposed to eat them anyway, so it’s really not a loss.”
Her logic was about as sound as mine. Plus, what would it really hurt? “Fair enough.”
“Good.”
I took the cookie and leaned back in the chair. Maybe their marriage would be a good thing. Chloe deserved a family. She deserved a house in the hills and everything she could ever dream of. I couldn’t stand in the way of that.
“Thanks, Madeline.”
She smiled. “Welcome. Now, are you ready to head in or do you need to sit and sulk a bit more?”
I stood and wiped off the crumbs before offering her my hand. “I wasn’t sulking. I was thinking.”
“Whatever you say.”
I wished I had a witty comeback, but I just opened the door for her and followed her into the kitchen where we were greeted with cheers.
“Where have you guys been?”
Madeline opened her container. “I asked him to test my recipe to see if it was any good.”
Hartman looked at me. “You ate sugar?”
I shrugged. “They were delicious.”
“Wow. Must be some recipe.” He reached in and took one for himself. The group went silent until he moaned and stepped forward and kissed her cheek. “You’re a goddess among us, Madi.”
I wanted to punch him. At least push him away from her. He had no right doing that. Getting in her personal space.
She was smiling though. “Thanks.”
Was that a blush? Did she like that? Did she like him? What about the suit?
What did it matter?
“Better take a breath before you pummel your best friend.”
I looked over my shoulder to where Olli was standing behind me. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yeah, right. And you don’t want to kill him right now for breathing the same air as her.”
I shrugged. “She has a boyfriend. I don’t think he’d appreciate that.”
“And where is this boyfriend? He’s never where she is.”
“Madeline?”
I turned at the sound of the unfamiliar voice. There he was. The suit.
Just like that, the life was sucked out of the room. Hartman walked away, and soon the rest of the kitchen emptied out.
He looked agitated, and I didn’t want to leave her with him like that.
I turned to Olli and tried to direct his attention to them. “Do you need help restocking anything.”
“Yeah, actually.” He’d somehow picked up on my signal and we walked to the sink on the opposite side of the room.
Chapter Eleven
Madeline
I hadn’t expected Clark to show. I’d told him about the housewarming last week, but he hadn’t even acknowledged me.
“Hi.” I moved around the large, marble island and lifted my arms to hug him, but he pushed them away.
“Hi? That’s all you’ve got to say?”
I was shocked. He’d never spoken to me like this.
“What do you mean?”
“I had an event tonight. One I needed you to be at. I went home, and you weren’t there. I called your mom and she told me where you were.”
I shook my head, not understanding. “I told you about this days ago. I left the invitation on the fridge.”
“My schedule is on my phone. You know that. Anywhere I need to be goes in there.”
“How am I supposed to know that? How would I even add something to it?”
“My secretary handles it.”
“You’re secretary?” I nearly laughed at how ridiculous this conversation had become. “Am I supposed to book time with you through her now?”
“It would help.” He was being serious.
“Clark, I’m not contacting someone I don’t know to spend time with you. That’s absurd.”
“What’s absurd is coming home to an empty house. I needed you to make an appearance tonight.”
“You didn’t tell me about it.”
He looked at me with a arrogant expression. “You should have been there.”
“Waiting at home for you?” Was he insane? Who did he think he was?
“Yes.”
“Can you not hear yourself? Clark, you can’t honestly expect me to be waiting at home for you every day.” Where had my sweet, loving boyfriend gone? I didn’t recognize the man in front of me.
“Why not?”
“Because I have my own life. My own job. My own friends. I’m not going to wait around for you to remember me.”
“What are you talking about?” He actually looked confused.
“We haven’t seen each other, let alone spent time together, in over a week.”
He sighed and looked to the ceiling. “I’ve been busy.”
“I have too.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“The problem is that we can’t both function like that. We can’t go days or weeks without seeing each other and not notice, at least not until someone needs something from the other.”
“I don’t understand what you’re trying to say.”
I looked around. Chloe and Reese were standing with their arms wrapped around each other. Sophia and Porter were making eyes at each other from across the room. That’s how we used to be. That’s how it should be. But we haven’t been that in months. We haven’t been in love for months.
“Clark, we live separate lives.”
“What are you trying to say, Madeline?”
“Maybe we’ve grown too far apart.”
He
shook his head. “You’re being unreasonable. You just need to remember what’s important. We moved here so I would have a better chance at attorney general. We moved here to start our lives together. We both have to make sacrifices, but it will be worth it in the end.”
“Your career? That’s all you can think of?”
“What else is there?”
I was flabbergasted. “What about love? What about our connection? Sharing this life together?”
He smirked. “We have that.”
I shook my head. He couldn’t be that far in denial. “We used to.”
He looked around and frowned. “You didn’t use to be like this.”
“Like what?”
“Ever since we moved here, all you’ve cared about is this stupid team.”
“That’s not true.”
“Yes, it is. Wherever you go and whatever you do is about them. A group of overpaid, underachieving overgrown boys. What are they doing for the world? What are they contributing? I’m busting my butt every day to make changes for the future. To make our country better. And these Neanderthals are wasting time chasing a ball around.”
“A puck.”
He looked at me incredulously. “What?”
“It’s not a ball. They use a puck.”
“That’s what you got out of that?”
“Well, you were wrong about so much, but I figured I could correct one thing.”
“I can’t believe you, Madeline.”
I couldn’t believe myself either. I wasn’t the type to put up with this. I wasn’t the type to let someone put me down. My parents taught me better.
I noticed Olli and Erik out of the corner of my eye. They were stepping closer to us with their eyes on Clark. I hadn’t noticed they were there.
This was humiliating. I couldn’t believe they’d just witness this.
“Clark, I think it’s time for you to go.”
He stared at me for several heartbeats that I heard in my ears before nodding. “You’re right. I think it is time.”
He turned and walk out before I could ask him to clarify. I wasn’t positive, but I was pretty sure we’d just broken up. I would have thought I’d feel more. No sadness, no regret. Mostly just relief. Like an enormous weight had been lifted.
Olli followed after him, hopefully to lock the door behind him. Erik was stopped, staring at me.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t think he would cause a scene.”
“You shouldn’t apologize for him.”
I tried to smile and failed. I couldn’t fake it this time.
I looked down, wringing my hands. I couldn’t believe Clark had acted that way. And in front of the team. It had been humiliating and, of course, Erik saw and heard it all. Couldn’t he have magically been on the other side of the house.
I felt warmth and looked up. He was standing inches away from me. Looking at me like he could see into my soul. The last thing I wanted right now.
“He’s not right for you.”
I almost laughed. “How could you possibly know that?”
“You may think I don’t know you very well, but there’s a difference between knowing someone for a long time and knowing them well.”
I didn’t argue.
“I’ve seen you with and without him. I know what a woman looks like when she’s in love. When she can’t keep her eyes of the man she trusts and chooses.”
I looked away. I wanted to leave but I knew he would follow.
“You’re not happy when he’s around.”
He’d only seen us twice. How could he say that?
“Things have been strained lately.”
“Why do you love him?”
I swallowed. I didn’t have to answer him. I could turn and walked out. Leave. Drive home to where I hoped Clark was.
“We’re a great match.”
His eyes narrowed, but he didn’t say anything. He wanted more? I could come up with something. Probably.
“He’s going to be a politician. I’m going to work until I have enough experience to open my own practice. In ten years, we’ll be a super couple.”
“How many times has he told you that?”
“A few.”
“No wonder it sounds so rehearsed.”
I rolled my eyes and stepped away.
“Wait.” I froze. Why was I listening to him? “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t judge your relationship. But I don’t like what happens to you when you’re around him.”
I met his eyes. “What do you mean?”
“You dim.”
“What?” Was he calling me dumb?
“You’re normally so bright. You’re always smiling. People gravitate to you. But when he’s around, you dim.”
I didn’t want to admit that I knew what he was talking about. It came from four years of being Clark’s silent puppet. He was the star. I was meant to stand next to him and look pretty. He was molding me into the perfect trophy wife. I knew it. I wasn’t happy about it, but I did nothing to fight it.
“He doesn’t treat you like the absolute treasure you are.” He stepped closer until his hard stomach pressed against my arm. “You deserve to be treated like a queen. A goddess. The most important person in the world. You should be the most important person in his world.”
He made it sound so normal. Like that’s how every other relationship was. My dad treated my mom like that. But they were from a different era. That wasn’t how things were anymore.
“Look at Reese.” My eyes automatically searched the crowd until I found him. He was gazing down at Chloe like she was the sun, the moon, the entire universe. I had a feeling he would do just about anything for her. That wasn’t something I could say about Clark.
“Look at Olli.” I found him next to the fireplace. He was talking to Hartman, but his eyes were on Emma sitting with a few other wives. His smile was so pure. So content. He loved her. It was written on his face.
That wasn’t a look I’d ever seen on Clark. Well, maybe if he was looking in the mirror.
I felt his breath on my neck and fought the shiver it sent down the entire length of my body.
“That’s what you deserve. Don’t settle for less.”
“We’ve been together for four years.”
“It’s never too late to start over.”
“He moved here with me.”
“He seems just fine with his new job.”
“He’s everything I ever wanted.”
“The idea of him maybe, but Clark can’t possibly be what you want for the rest of your life.”
“Why not?”
“Because you’re losing your breath. Standing here. Next to me.”
I tried to turn but his arms came up and boxed me in against the island.
“Tell me the last time you felt this way around him.”
He was dangerous. Lethal.
I should run.
I shouldn’t have these feelings for a guy I barely know. A guy who isn’t my boyfriend.
“There’s more to life, to love, than a spark. I need stability. I need promise. A future.”
He leaned forward until his lips were touching my neck. “Can he really provide that?”
My brain was broken. All I could focus on was the feeling of him all around me.
“Will you ever feel safe, secure with him? Won’t you wonder about where he goes all the time? Who he secretary is? If he’s thinking of you?”
I tried to shake away the thoughts. Clark hadn’t cheated on me. Yet. I had feelings in the past, but he promised me, swore to me he never did. He wouldn’t.
Would he?
He wanted to appear perfect. Perfect house. Perfect wife. Perfect life.
News that he was a cheater would destroy the image. It would ruin him.
He wouldn’t.
But that didn’t mean he loved me.
He’d never looked at me the way Reese or Olli worshipped their loves with their eyes.
He’d never make me feel the way Erik did right now.
But this was temporary. Fleeting.
Erik was a player. I knew his story. His reputation. His own sister warned people about him. He wasn’t stable.
He wasn’t safe.
He couldn’t provide the predictable life I craved.
He’d put me through exactly what my dad did. I’d move around the country following his career. The NHL would run our world.
I wanted out.
I couldn’t do that anymore. I didn’t want to.
“Erik.” My voice was barely a whisper. “Please.”
“Please what, Madeline?”
Ugh. His voice. It was melting me. My resolve.
I needed out.
“Please, let me be.” I pushed against his arm and he let it fall.
Chapter Twelve
Erik
I watched her walk out of the kitchen. I thought she was leaving, but she wiggled in between the girls on the couch.
I couldn’t believe I’d pushed her away.
I thought she’d listen.
Clark wasn’t good enough for her. Neither was I, but at least I admitted it. I’d spend the rest of my life trying to make her happy. To worship her.
She deserved it. I knew it, but she didn’t. Not yet.
How could Coach let her be with Clark? Didn’t he see the faker for what he was?
I grabbed a bottle of water and wandered into the living room. Olli nodded when he saw me. “That guy’s a real gem.”
“I can’t stand him.”
He smirked. “I noticed.”
I shook my head, but it only encouraged him.
“Someone’s got a crush on the coach’s daughter.”
I tried to ignore him, but he persisted.
“The one rule that matters is the one you break. Of course.”
“She needs to dump the idiot first.”
He nodded. “It’ll happen. She’s a smart girl.”
“Smart girls make dumb decisions all the time.”
“Then don’t let her.”
I wasn’t planning on it.
“I’ll be back in a second.” He left and went to the couch where Emma sat. He offered his hand and helped her stand before walking to the front of the room.
Match Penalty (Utah Fury Hockey Book 2) Page 7