Deadly Satisfaction

by Trice Hickman

  “You know, I think about that all the time,” Donetta said, sadness coating her voice, “and I don’t only want it to get better, I want it to be great. You don’t know how blessed you are to have been born with your outside matching up with your inside. You have a good husband who loves, values, and cherishes you, and a beautiful baby daughter who holds her arms out for you and lights up every time she sees you. I’d give anything to have that.” This was the first time Donetta had ever admitted that she envied her best friend’s life.

  “My life hasn’t been perfect,” Geneva said. “I might not have gone through the same kinds of struggles that you have, but I’ve had my fair share of challenges. Yes, I was born looking and feeling like a woman. But the difference between you and me, Donetta, is that I looked like a woman and never really felt pretty. Regardless of what you looked like on the outside, you always, from day one, felt like you were the most gorgeous thing on two legs. That’s powerful, because it’s what’s inside you that makes you so beautiful. I’ve always admired your confidence and how self-assured you are. It took me a long time to achieve what you’ve always had, so don’t sell yourself short. And don’t discount finding a husband and child who love you. If you want it, go after it.”

  Donetta smiled. “You always know the right thing to say.”

  “Not only is it right, it’s true.”

  “I pray that Phillip will think that way, too.”

  “He sounds like a caring person, but you won’t know until you tell him. If he can’t handle who you are, then he’s not the one for you.”

  “Damn, life sure can throw you for a loop.”

  “It can change in the blink of an eye. Look how much has happened to both of us in the last twenty-four hours. Yesterday, if anyone had told me that Vivana was innocent of Johnny’s murder, I wouldn’t have believed it, but today I know it’s true. And if anyone had told me that my husband’s brother would sell us out”—Geneva paused—“on second thought, that’s a bad example. But you get my point.”

  “I do, and I agree. Phillip came into my life and changed things, literally overnight. I’ve never been one of those sappy romantic types, but girl, I’m all in. That’s why I’m so nervous about telling him.”

  “He just might be your happily-ever-after. I’ve never heard you sound this way, and in all the years I’ve known you, I can’t ever remember you bringing a man over to your house, let alone letting them spend the night.”

  “Girl, I know. I’m so into him it scares me.”

  “You’ve got to tell him right away. Like now.”

  Donetta knew Geneva was right. “I’m going to call him after we hang up.”

  “Okay, call me back and let me know how the conversation goes.”

  Donetta hung up the phone and took a deep breath. She’d made a lot of mistakes in her life, and she’d also done some things that had been right. In just one day, Phillip had felt righter than anything she’d ever experienced, and she prayed that he would listen, keep an open mind, and continue to walk down the path they’d started on. “Okay, here goes.” She dialed his number, heard it ring, and waited for him to pick up.

  Chapter 23

  PHILLIP

  Phillip rubbed his chin and shook his head as he sat alone on the sofa in the family room. He’d just gotten off the phone with Donetta, and while their conversation had been brief, it had put a smile on his face to know that she was feeling better. He’d been worried about her when he’d left her house a few hours ago because she’d been in so much pain from the menstrual cramps she’d been experiencing. It was the first time he’d ever taken care of a woman the way he’d cared for her, and it had felt as natural to him as breathing.

  Being with Donetta had been exhilarating, but that good feeling had ended as soon as he’d spotted his sister walking toward him in the baggage claim. Initially, he hadn’t recognized her, and when he’d seen the hefty-sized young woman grab her bag and give him a quizzical look, he’d thought to himself that she looked an awful lot like Lauren.

  “Um, excuse me, but a hello would be nice,” the woman said.

  Phillip blinked twice. “Lauren?”

  He couldn’t get over the drastic change in his sister’s appearance. He hadn’t seen her since back in the spring, when she’d taken the train from Baltimore into DC to spend her school break with him. He’d been surprised to see that she’d put on what looked to be at least forty pounds, and that she didn’t look as put together as she usually did. Her once neatly combed hair had been matted atop her head, the bright eyes he’d been used to seeing had shown telltale signs of lack of sleep, and her normally smooth, caramel-colored skin had been blotchy with a breakout.

  He’d had a heart-to-heart talk with Lauren about not only her appearance, but also her seeming overall lack of care about life. He’d asked her outright if her decline had anything to do with the anger and resentment she’d been carrying for her father since the incident involving their half brother. She’d been adamant that she didn’t even think about their father or their half brother anymore, and that she’d simply decided to start living her life in a much freer way. That had been seven months ago, and as he now looked at his sister, whom he barely recognized, he knew there was something very wrong going on with her. She’d put on an additional fifty pounds since spring, which was a dead giveaway that something was definitely wrong. Her leggings and sweatshirt looked cheap, tight, and ill-fitting, and he could tell she hadn’t combed her hair because her makeshift Afro looked as though she’d been wearing a hairnet, even though she wasn’t.

  After he’d gotten over the shock of her physical appearance, she’d given him another stunner when he’d loaded her last suitcase into the trunk of his car and asked her why she’d packed so many bags. When she’d told him that she’d withdrawn from medical school, he couldn’t believe his ears. He’d spent the next thirty minutes standing in the cold parking deck trying to talk some sense into her. Finally, he’d given up. He didn’t put up resistance when she’d asked him to stop at a local fast food restaurant and had ordered a triple bacon and cheese steak burger, large fries, and a large milk shake.

  Phillip had known that as soon as his mother laid eyes on Lauren, it wasn’t going to be good. She would hit the roof, and rightfully so, but he hadn’t expected Lauren to act so disrespectfully to her, and he’d begun to wonder if his sister was using drugs. Right in the middle of their heated family confrontation, his phone had rung. Sabrina had called and he’d hit Ignore, choosing to deal with her later. A few minutes after that, Rachel called, and he ignored her call, as well. Then Donetta called almost immediately after, and he’d rushed out of the room to talk to her.

  Now, as Phillip continued to sit alone in the silence of the family room, he was glad his mother and sister had finally stopped arguing. This certainly wasn’t shaping up into the family-friendly holiday he’d thought it was going to be when he’d arrived in town yesterday. He’d had a rough week at work, and he’d been looking forward to relaxing in his mother’s comfortable home, eating her delicious food, catching up with her and his sister, and then flying back out late Sunday morning. But it didn’t look like any of that was going to happen now.

  He thought about how close his family used to be, and how fractured they were now. He hadn’t seen his father in two years, and even then their interaction had been tepid at best. His mother had always been the strong pillar of the family, but now she was drinking herself to sleep at night. And poor Lauren seemed to be drifting out to sea without a clue as to how to make it back to shore.

  Phillip sat in silence for a few more minutes before he got up in search of his mother and sister, hoping they’d each calmed down and were in better moods. He walked down the hall toward his mother’s study and found her there. She was sitting behind her desk, concentrating as she typed on her computer.

  “You busy?” he asked, slightly startling his mother. He leaned against the doorway. “I can come back later.”

  “I’m
never too busy for my children. Come on in.”

  Phillip walked into her spacious office and took a seat in front of her desk. The blinds were closed, and because it was already cloudy outside when he’d been out earlier, it felt like it was early evening instead of lunchtime. “Mom, I’m sorry about the way this holiday is shaping up.”

  “It’s not your fault.” She removed her reading glasses and rubbed her tired eyes. “This is what they call life, and as you know, life changes and so do people.”

  “I tried talking to Lauren on our way back from the airport, but it’s like trying to get through a brick wall.”

  “Please keep talking to her. She’s always looked up to you, and she respects your opinion.”

  Phillip shook his head. “I think she’s more concerned with what that clown Hakeem has to say than anything I can tell her.”

  “How long has she been dating him?”

  “I don’t know. The first time I heard his name was when she mentioned him this afternoon, but apparently they’re living together.”

  “Dear Lord.”

  Phillip watched as his mother slumped her shoulders and shook her head. Her eyes looked tired, and she was still wearing her nightgown and robe from this morning. It seemed that her hangover was gone and had been replaced by defeat. “Mom, are you gonna be okay?”

  His mother gave him a small smile. “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me, I’m a tough bird.”

  “But even tough birds need to give their wings a rest every now and then.”

  “True.” She leaned forward in her chair and looked into his eyes. “Tell me how you’re doing.”

  Phillip smiled. “I’m good.”

  “Who is she?”

  He smiled even wider. “Mom, c’mon.”

  “You didn’t come back home last night, and as cold as it is, I know you didn’t sleep in your car.”

  “No, I didn’t. I spent the night at a friend’s house.” He felt slightly uncomfortable talking to his mother about his love life. She usually allowed him to go about his business with impunity. But he understood that because she was worried about her children, she would naturally ask questions. When he thought about Donetta, he knew his mother would like her.

  “I don’t understand, Phillip. Is this someone you just met? Because I’ve never known you to go out with anyone when you come home to visit.”

  “Yes, I just met her. But I feel like we’ve known each other for a while. I can’t explain it, but . . . All I can say is that she’s an amazing woman, and I think you’d like her.”

  “Do you realize that you’re smiling while you’re talking about her?”

  “No, I didn’t.” Phillip chuckled. “Enough with the interrogation, for now. I’ll keep you updated as things develop.”

  His mother folded her arms, and Phillip noticed a weary look cloud her face. “I worry about you and your sister. I know the things you witnessed your father do while you were growing up didn’t set a good example, but please, please don’t follow in his footsteps.”

  “Wait, you knew Dad was creeping back in the day?”

  “I didn’t have definitive proof, but I suspected things. Then I noticed when you were in high school that the relationship between you two became very strained. When you were in college, I heard you two arguing one night and it finally made sense to me.”

  “Wow, I never knew you’d heard us.”

  “I did, and I put up with a lot of things that I shouldn’t have for far too long. And now I feel like all those poor decisions have come back to bite me. You and Lauren don’t even know how to have healthy relationships. And to be honest, I still don’t.”

  Phillip shook his head. “Mom, you can’t blame yourself for the decisions that anyone else makes. We all have free will.” Phillip had to smile when he repeated what Donetta had said to him last night. “You’re a great mother and a great example of how to do things the right way. I’ll be fine, and so will Lauren. We’ll get through this.”

  She raised her brow. “When did you become so wise?”

  “I’m learning every day.” Just then his phone rang. He glanced at it and saw that it was Rachel trying to reach him. He’d texted her last night and told her he’d call her when he returned to DC. But she was persistent. His battery was low, and he didn’t want to waste precious juice responding to her, so he slid the phone back into his pocket.

  “That’s why I worry about you,” his mother said. “Your phone’s been ringing off the hook this afternoon with different women calling you. You’re playing a dangerous game, son. You’re juggling too many women, and pretty soon it’s going to come to a head.”

  “Mom, it’s not like you think, and I’m not doggin’ out anyone.”

  “Like I’ve told you, you might not think so, but you don’t know how these women feel. All it takes is the one bad move with the wrong woman, and . . .”

  Phillip loved his mother, but he was starting to tire of her constant warnings. “You act like I’m Johnny Mayfield or somebody.”

  “What did you say?”

  “Johnny Mayfield, you know, that dude who was murdered a couple of years ago and no one knew who did it because he’d been messing with so many women, even blackmailing some of them. Then they found out that a crazy chick he’d been messing around with did it. You remember, Mom. It made national news. It’s sad that’s how Amber got its name on the map.”

  She nodded, and he noticed that she looked even more worried than before. Then he realized that had been a terrible example to use. “I’m nothing like that guy, and nothing’s going to happen to me. I’m careful. And as a matter of fact, right now there’s only one woman I want to spend my time with, so all these calls are about to cease.”

  His mother nodded and rubbed her forehead. “I’m exhausted, I need to take a nap.”

  Phillip and his mother left her office. She walked in one direction to her bedroom, and he walked in the other as he headed upstairs. He decided to have a talk with Lauren, but when he walked by her room she was sound asleep and snoring. He was beginning to feel tired, too. And after the late night and early morning he’d had with Donetta, and the drama with his mother and sister this afternoon, he knew he needed to get some rest. As soon as his head hit the pillow, he was out.

  Three hours later Phillip awoke when he heard a knock on his door.

  “It’s snowing like crazy!” Lauren yelled with excitement.

  “What?” Phillip rubbed his eyes and tried to focus.

  Lauren rushed into his room, walked over to his window, and opened the blinds. “Look, there’s at least four or five inches out there.”

  Phillip jumped up from the bed and rushed to the window. “Damn, I didn’t know it was going to snow.” He hadn’t watched the news today, and this morning when he’d been scrolling through his phone while he ate the breakfast he’d cooked at Donetta’s, he hadn’t seen any weather alerts. “This is crazy,” he said as he watched the big flakes fall. The top of his rental car was already covered.

  Lauren nodded. “Tell me about it. I woke up about ten minutes ago, turned on the TV, and it was all over the news. This winter storm came from out of nowhere, without any warning, and now it’s like an emergency.”

  The first thing Phillip thought about was Donetta. He rushed over to his phone, but when he tried to turn it on, it remained black. His battery was dead. He rushed over to his suitcase and searched for his charger.

  “What are you looking for?” Lauren asked.

  “My cell phone charger. I can’t find it. Damn it! Hey, let me use yours.”

  Lauren looked at his phone. “My charger won’t do you any good unless you turn that Apple into an Android.”

  “Damn, and Mom has an Android, too.”

  “If you know the number, you can still use my phone.”

  Phillip couldn’t remember Donetta’s cell number and the number on her business card was for her salon. He had no way of contacting her. He looked back out the window at the big flake
s that kept falling in a steady stream. “How much snow are they calling for?”

  “At least a half foot before nightfall. Some areas are gonna get up to ten inches,” Lauren said with delight. “The forecasters are saying we’ll have about nine inches by morning.”

  “I’ve gotta get going before I get stuck here.”

  Lauren craned her neck. “Where’re you going in this weather?”

  “To see a friend.” Phillip walked over to the corner, grabbed his dead phone, and put it in his bag. He went into the bathroom and tossed his toiletries back into his leather case, added them to his bag, and headed downstairs with Lauren following him.

  “Mom’s gonna flip. She’s not letting you out of this house in the middle of a snowstorm,” Lauren balked.

  “Let me out the house? Are you forgetting that I’m a grown man?”

  His sister pursed her lips. “Not if you ask Charlene Harris. We’re both babies in her eyes.”

  Phillip walked down the hall and peeked into the study, but his mother wasn’t there. Then he went to the family room, and she wasn’t there, either. When he walked past the kitchen, he was surprised that he didn’t smell food cooking, so he knew there was only one other place she could still be. He walked to her bedroom and there she was, sound asleep. He knew this was very unlike his mother. She was the type of person who was always full of energy and on the go. But ever since he’d come home yesterday, all she’d done was sleep, and he hoped she hadn’t had anything else to drink today. He thought about waking her up, but then he changed his mind because he didn’t have time to debate with her whether it was a good idea for him to be on the road in the middle of a snowstorm.

  Phillip walked back down the hall to where he’d left Lauren standing near his bag. “When Mom wakes up, tell her I’ll call her later.”

  “Okay.” She smirked and shook her head. “I hope she’s worth it.”