Changes of the Heart

by Judith Mccoy Miller

  She shook her head in acknowledgment of his statement but took the time to carefully form her thoughts before answering.

  “I’m sure you don’t—and I’m not sure I understand you, either. But if we’re ever going to begin understanding one another, I think we need to call a truce. That’s why I wanted to be alone with you for a few minutes,” she told him as they walked into the barn.

  Watching as Luther uncinched the gray dapple workhorses, Maura fidgeted when he did not immediately reply. He began to remove the horses’ leather collars and, when he had finished, he walked over and positioned himself behind the railing surrounding the stall where she stood. Resting his arms on the top strip of wood and allowing his upper body to lean forward, he whispered, “What kind of truce did you have in mind?”

  As he spoke, she could feel his warm breath on her neck. It sent shivers running up and down her spine, and she felt her cheeks turning hot. Her mind raced back to their wedding day and the passionate kiss Luther had placed upon her lips. Unconsciously, she traced a finger across her mouth. Not wanting him to know the effect he was having upon her, she dared not move.

  “I thought perhaps we could try speaking to and treating each other more kindly,” she weakly ventured, unsure exactly what to propose.

  “Is that all you thought?” he asked, once again leaning close to her neck before he spoke.

  “No, but it’s a starting place,” she replied.

  He moved from behind her and walked around the stall, placing himself directly in front of her. Carefully, he placed his hands on either side of her waist and lifted her onto one of the tall barrels sitting close by. She didn’t resist but gave him a questioning look.

  “I want to see your eyes when you talk to me,” he said in answer to her look. “Instead of all those vague answers you’ve given me, why don’t you tell me what you really want—from me, from this so-called marriage, from life itself.”

  Maura wriggled uncomfortably. She hadn’t anticipated being placed in a position in which she might have to reveal her inner thoughts to him.

  “I’m not sure we have time now for such a deep conversation. I need to assist with dinner preparations. Besides, everyone will be wondering where we are,” she ventured, hoping to escape his pointed questions. She needed time for thoughtful introspection before she answered—time to carefully prepare.

  “There are enough folks in that kitchen that they’ll be falling all over each other. Besides, I told Michael we might be gone for a while. He’ll be able to answer any questions that might arise regarding our whereabouts. Since we are married, there’s certainly no need to worry about any impropriety in our being alone, is there?” he asked, already knowing the answer.

  “Well, no. . .” she haltingly replied.

  “So tell me, Maura Buchanan, what is it you want?” he once again asked.

  Maura Buchanan. The name sounded foreign to her ears. She still thought of herself as Maura Thorenson.

  “When you think of yourself, you think of Maura Thorenson—not Maura Buchanan. Am I right?” he asked, when she hadn’t replied to his earlier question.

  Her head snapped up at his remark. How did he know what she was thinking? There was a twinkle in his inquiring mahogany eyes.

  “It makes you uncomfortable that I could have any idea of what you’re thinking, doesn’t it?”

  Before she could reply, he bent his head and pulled her to him, his full lips gently caressing hers and then quickly giving way to the urgency of his passion—a passion he had held in reserve throughout these months of marriage. She responded, leaning forward and placing her arms around his neck, her breath shallow as his lips explored hers with an unrelenting hunger.

  “You were thinking of that, too, weren’t you?” he whispered, when their lips finally parted.

  Fearing that she would slip off the barrel if he released her, she leaned back against the railing, her body gone limp from the intensity of their mutual ardor.

  “Yes,” she honestly answered.

  “And what else were you thinking?” he urged.

  “I want a devoted husband who is affectionate and tender. A husband who will allow me to share his life, who admires my strengths and overlooks my imperfections. I want a husband who loves God and wants the kind of marriage God intended for His children,” she candidly replied, Luther’s kiss having erased her fears. “I usually hide my true feelings for I’m not as vulnerable if people don’t know what I really feel,” she explained.

  He smiled at her, tenderly lifted a strand of hair, and then tucked it behind her ear. “The problem with hiding your true feelings from your marriage partner is that you never receive the full joy God intended. I realize that being honest makes you more susceptible to being hurt. But when you are open and honest with the person you love, it gives him the opportunity to fulfill your expectations instead of leaving that person merely to guess how to please you.”

  She nodded her head but wasn’t sure she was willing to go quite that far.

  “For instance, there is nothing improper about a wife telling her husband she would like to be kissed. You see, husbands don’t automatically know those things,” he instructed.

  “I would like that,” she said, lifting her head and closing her eyes.

  He broke forth in a laugh and then stopped himself when he saw the pained look she gave him. Quickly, he leaned down to kiss her, only to be rebuffed.

  “Maura, you misinterpreted my laughter,” he admonished when she turned her head as he once again attempted to kiss her. “You can’t always assume the worst when people laugh. I am pleased that you want me to kiss you. Truly, I am. I laughed only because I was using the statement about kissing as an illustration and you took it literally. I’ll try to be more careful in the future if you’ll try to be less sensitive,” he suggested.

  She glanced up at him and saw a look of pleading in his eyes.

  “I think I would still like a kiss,” she said, breaking the un-comfortable silence. This time he didn’t laugh as he gathered her into his arms.

  “We have a lot more to talk about,” he said, once he’d re-leased her from his embrace, “but I suppose we should get back to the house.”

  Maura gathered her shawl as they walked from the barn.

  “I believe it’s getting cooler,” Luther remarked, taking the shawl and placing it around her shoulders.

  Maura nodded in affirmation. “I think I’d like for you to keep your arm around my shoulder,” she said, smiling.

  “I think I’d like that, too,” he replied, placing his arm around her shoulder and pulling her close while they made their way down the street.

  ELEVEN

  “Maura! Where have you been?” Georgette scolded as the couple walked into the house.

  “Luther and I returned his horses to the barn,” she replied, smiling when Luther winked at her.

  “Well, don’t just stand there. We’ll have guests arriving soon, and the rest of us have been hard at work while you’ve been gone. You should have been here helping,” she continued.

  “She was exactly where she needed to be, Georgette,” Luther replied. “Please don’t be harsh with Maura. It’s really my fault for keeping her away, but there were things we needed to discuss. Things I felt were more important to our future than the dinner. She wanted to return, but I assured her there were plenty of hands to prepare the meal,” he defended, his voice protective.

  Georgette gave him a stunned look and then shifted her eyes back toward Maura. “So you two have been talking,” she remarked, seeing the look on her friend’s face. “In that case, how could I object? Did this talking have an amiable outcome?” she asked.

  “I would say it did. Wouldn’t you agree, Luther?” Maura inquired, looking at him, wishing she could ask for another kiss.

  “Most amiable, although we didn’t have enough time to resolve all of the issues we wanted to discuss. Did we, my dear?” he asked, giving her a light kiss.

  “No, not
everything,” she agreed, realizing he had once again known what she was thinking. It was most disconcerting. She’d have to be careful what she thought!

  Georgette stood momentarily transfixed. Was this the same bickering couple that she’d been with only last night? “God certainly can work miracles,” she murmured, walking toward the kitchen.

  “You go and help her, my sweet, and I’ll see what I can do to help Michael,” Luther said, leaning down to kiss her cheek.

  My sweet, he called me “my sweet,” she thought, walking into the kitchen. However, it didn’t take long for the culinary mayhem to push all thoughts of Luther from her mind. Surveying the situation, it became immediately obvious that no one had taken time to organize the group of women. Everyone was scurrying about, but not much was being accomplished.

  “Ladies!” Maura called out, quickly gaining their attention. “It appears that we need a bit of teamwork if we’re to prepare and serve this meal on time. I think the easiest plan would be to make assignments. Is that all right with all of you?” she asked, though not waiting for an answer. “Georgette, you’re in charge of the meat; have Michael help you with carving when you’re ready. Edith, you’re in charge of the stuffing and sweet potatoes—”

  “But the turkeys have already been stuffed. Don’t you want me to do something besides the sweet potatoes?” the excited parson’s wife asked.

  “You can prepare the mashed potatoes also, but remember you’ll need to help Georgette unstuff those turkeys when they’re ready,” Maura answered, giving Edith a smile.

  And so it went. Maura assigned the tasks and each of the women was responsible from beginning to end for those particular foods or tasks. Earlier they had placed signs about town informing folks of the dinner, but Maura thought it would be a nice gesture to personally invite folks so that they would feel genuinely welcome. To that end, she went seeking her husband.

  “Luther, there you are,” she said, walking into the parlor where Michael and Luther were tending Becca. “Don’t you think it would be hospitable to go to the saloons and gaming parlors and invite the men to dinner? They may not see the signs; besides, some of them may not be able to read.”

  Luther leaned back in the sturdy oak chair, balancing on the back two legs and holding himself steady with the tips of his toes resting on the floor in front of him. He gave her a slow grin.

  “Maura, my dear wife, do you have any idea how the owners of those saloons and gambling halls are going to react when I walk in and invite their customers to leave for a free meal?”

  She shook her head and waited.

  “They are going to be very unhappy. This is one of the busiest times of year for them. In fact, the men spend most of their money trying to drown or forget their loneliness during this time of year,” he carefully explained.

  “Well, I know that, Luther. That’s why we planned this get-together!” Maura replied, with exasperation written on her face. “I thought you were going to reveal some really good reason why you couldn’t go invite folks.”

  He stared at her and then looked at Michael for assistance.

  “Go ahead, Luther. You’re doing fine. Explain it to her,” Michael said, while trying to hide the smirk on his face.

  “Let me put it this way, my dear. If I go into those businesses and ask the customers to leave and come over here for free food and festivities, the owners of those businesses may never speak to me again. They’re going to be angry because we’ll be the cause of their losing money,” he politely ex-plained in a measured tone of voice.

  “Well, if that’s the only problem, invite them, too. We’d be happy to have them join us,” she answered, giving him a sweet smile while totally dismissing the portion of his answer relating to the lost business of the local merchants.

  “I think perhaps those who want to attend will come without a special invitation,” Luther said in a feeble attempt to sidestep the whole issue.

  “If you don’t want to go, I’m sure that Michael would be willing to assist,” Maura replied, giving him a stern look and turning toward new prey for her holiday mission.

  “You know I would do that for you, Maura, but Georgette told me that I dare not leave this parlor. She said she’d be more than a little upset if she came looking for me to help carve the meat and I wasn’t around,” he replied, clearly pleased at how adroitly he had avoided the trap.

  “I see,” Maura replied. Saying nothing further, she walked back toward the kitchen as the two men looked at each other and sighed with relief.

  It had been only a few minutes when they saw her returning with Amelia Bergman in tow. “Amelia is going to tend Becca for the rest of the afternoon,” she advised them, taking the baby from Michael and placing her in Amelia’s capable arms.

  “You sure she’s old enough to look after a baby?” Michael asked, a sense of foreboding in his voice.

  “Of course, she is. She’s fifteen years old and has seven younger brothers and sisters. She’s had loads of experience, haven’t you, Amelia?” she asked the young girl.

  Amelia nodded her head in affirmation and walked toward the bedroom carrying her young charge.

  “Now, then, gentlemen, I think we’ve been able to work out a plan,” Maura announced as the two men looked at each other with trepidation.

  Looking at Luther, she said in her sweetest voice, “I am doing as you requested earlier, Luther. I’m being open and honest with you in order to allow you the opportunity to fulfill my expectations.”

  “This isn’t quite what I had in mind when we talked. . .” Luther began.

  “Well, we never know when an opportunity will present itself, do we? In any event, it would make me extremely happy if you and Michael would go and extend a personal invitation around town,” she said in an agreeable tone.

  “But—” Michael began.

  “Georgette said she wouldn’t need you for at least an hour, Michael,” she interrupted before the young man could protest being included.

  The two men exchanged a look of doom. “Guess we’d just as well get this over with, Michael,” Luther said as he rose from the chair. Maura followed behind them as they walked onto the porch and down the steps.

  “Luther,” she called just as the men reached the bottom of the stairs.

  He turned and walked back toward her. “When you return, I think I would like a kiss,” she said, giving him a captivating smile.

  “I’ll be happy to meet that expectation,” he said, laughing as he caught up with Michael.

  Almost an hour had passed when Michael and Luther returned to the house, and Georgette quickly rushed Michael into the kitchen to assist her with the turkeys. Spying Michael as he began to carve one of the birds, Maura walked into the parlor.

  “I see that you’re back all in one piece,” she said to Luther, smiling.

  Without a word, he swept her into his arms and kissed her soundly, which left her breathless as he slowly pulled away from her.

  “I am all in one piece, my dear, but just remember that you are the one who sent me out extending invitations,” he said, causing her to wonder at the remark.

  “Did the business owners become angry?” she inquired.

  “They weren’t overly pleased, but I guess they’ll get over it,” he answered. “By the way, how many did you say you’d planned on serving?”

  “I’m not sure, but I think we’ll have plenty of food. Why do you ask?” she inquired.

  He didn’t answer but merely pointed his finger down the street toward a throng of people headed toward the house. Her eyes grew wide as she looked from the street toward Luther and then back again.

  “Are they all coming here?” Maura inquired.

  “Yep!”

  “All of them?” she asked, incredulously.

  “All of them. After Michael and I had visited a couple of the saloons, the owners got together and decided that the best thing to do was just close down and let their employees as well as their patrons attend your dinner. You
’re going to feed everyone from the miners to the dance hall girls,” he told her.

  “This is more than I expected, and I know it’s more than Georgette expected,” she replied, with a note of fear in her voice.

  He turned toward her and smiled. “Like you said earlier, you never know when an opportunity will present itself. Just look at this as an opportunity, Maura. In fact, you may never get another chance to minister to this many unsaved folks at one time.”

  “But there are so many,” she said, as the crowd grew closer.

  “Hopefully those turkeys and hams will stretch as far as the loaves and fishes,” he said, placing a protective arm around her. “We’ll manage,” he said in a comforting voice when she gave him a doleful look.

  Maura returned to the kitchen as fast as her legs would allow, though her left hip and leg had begun to ache. She’d been on her feet all day, and her limp always worsened when she began to tire.

  “Georgette,” she called in a loud whisper. “Our guests are arriving. Many more than we anticipated,” she said, looking at her friend.

  “I know. Michael told me. What are we going to do?”

  “We’ll just have to organize ourselves. I think if we set up a line and have them come through with their plates, not only can we control the portion sizes, but also it may control seating. By the time the ones at the beginning of the line are done eating, they can free their places for the others. If we run out of food, we’ll apologize and let them know we’ll plan for more guests next year,” she said with a shrug.

  Hastily issuing instructions to the men and women assisting, Maura gave the dining room one last glance. It was chilly, but at least the weather was bearable. At the last moment Maura asked Michael and Luther to move the small piano onto the front porch so that Edith could play Christmas carols. If anyone could keep a group in good humor, it was Edith.

  Assuring Maura she was up to the challenge, Edith delightedly took her place at the piano. Before long, the strains of “Silent Night” being sung by the crowd filled the house, and soon the dinner was being served to the crowd.