The Shattered Genesis (Eternity)

by Rudacille, T.

  “He is not even that smart!” I snapped at him. Every last one of those notions presented in his tirade were completely hyperbolic, to the say the least. I almost laughed at how ludicrous they were.

  “Goddamn it, don't even grin like that, like I'm being an idiot and you're up on a cloud of knowledge looking down on me!”

  “Relatively good simile, if I may...”

  He punched one of the smaller pillars on the porch, sending pieces of wood and tiny projectiles of white paint flying. I frowned; we had been conscious in Don's house for less than three hours and already, we had dented a wall (when I slapped Elijah) and broken a part of his lovely, picturesque porch.

  “Do not start that right now.” James growled furiously, “Do not underestimate this situation and try to distract me from telling you exactly how deep in shit we are!”

  “Oh, God or Gods, you are so dramatic!” I exclaimed as I covered my face in irritation. “This is not a matter of me ignoring the level of danger. This is a matter of you and I disagreeing on how high that level is.”

  “He’s aligned with Adam, so it's pretty fucking high, Brynna!”

  Once again, I was scowling. Oh, I how I loathed profanity...

  “You and I both know that Adam would like to see all of us dead! He doesn't just want the Bachums gone! He wants all of us gone!”

  “Well, he'll never get all of us gone.” I mimicked him, which only added to his fury. “James, I don’t find his alliance with Adam to be admirable or even wise. I certainly don’t trust Adam but…”

  “There is something very bad brewing here, Brynna.”

  His voice was lower and more civil. If he could not convince me with his brash fury, then he would try to beseech my understanding with calm. But I could see that he was still livid at my “naivety.” His body was shaking, sending sprays of blood from his busted knuckles flying wildly. His brown eyes were still swirled with flecks of red. Seeing the physical evidence of his out-of-proportion and horribly misguided anger only irritated me.

  “I know you feel it as well as I do.” He continued, “It’s not only here in this house, it’s the whole damn planet. We fell right into the middle of a war between the city-people and the cave-people. Now, Adam is using us as pawns in the game. You’re going to have to forgive me for not wanting to fight a war that I care nothing about! Earlier, you said that you hated being a pawn in the political game. This is just like that.”

  “James...” I said in a furious whisper, “Do not take what I said earlier and use it to your advantage. Do not try to use something that I confided in you as manipulation.”

  “If that's what it will take to make you see this, then I will use it, Brynna!”

  “Then you run the risk of infuriating me. If you want to take that risk, then go ahead!” I stopped, took a deep breath and tried to regain some of my composure. “James, I know that these are not the most desirable circumstances…”

  “Yeah, no shit, baby...”

  “Will you stop interrupting me for half a second so I can say what I want to say?!” I snapped at him. Now my irritation had made the high jump back to anger.

  “Fine, go on. I'm sure this will be riveting.”

  “Oh my God, just shut up!” I exclaimed but after a deep breath, I resumed talking at a mild volume. “Adam has said that it will be either Don’s group or the Bachums’ group that will be able to live here free of any threat. We have no choice but to fight if we want to live here. It does not matter if we believe in what he believes. We need to live here safely, do you understand?”

  “Of course I understand! This just isn’t the way to go about it! I really thought you were smarter than this, Brynna.”

  I stood up, completely livid now.

  “Do not suggest for even a moment that your intelligence rises above or is even on par with mine! I can feel things before they happen! I can read into people’s hearts and minds! Not to mention, on Earth, I probably could have dismantled an atomic bomb while playing a game of chess, and…”

  “You are so arrogant! It drives me insane, Brynna!”

  “Really? Well, you are ungrateful and proud!”

  “As if you’re not proud! I don’t know why I’m taking any lectures from you about being polite, the way you tear your own sister and brother down all the time!”

  “That is none of your business! And just for the record, I do that…”

  “To feel superior, because you’re arrogant! It’s easier for you to be a bitch to them than to actually be their sister. And just so you know, let me clarify this for you: Refusing to feel anything is more of a sign of weakness than feeling whatever it is that you feel. Not to mention that while you’re projecting all of your anger onto them, you’re destroying them! You have a complex and half, I’m telling you!”

  “Oh, thank you, Dr. Maxwell!” I exclaimed as I clapped my hands, “I do not know what would have happened to me if I had not received your astute psychological analysis! Please, say whatever you need to say! Say what you are feeling because I will not! All of this is in response to Don and Adam?!”

  “It’s in response to you walking around like you know everything and then you going and exhibiting such astounding stupidity! That’s what this is about, Brynna! I want you to get your head on straight!”

  “No, you want me to acknowledge some vast character flaws you feel I possess.” I was not yelling anymore. I could see our fight for what it really was and the reality made me very, very sad. “You want to knock me down a few pegs.”

  “I want you to see things for what they are.” He reiterated firmly. “But I also want you to see just how ridiculous you calling me out for being rude is. Yes, I want you to realize that being a coldhearted, hypocritical bitch is going to destroy those girls the same way your mother and Maura being cold-hearted, hypocritical bitches destroyed you.”

  “Wow, apparently it is the day for the men in my life to hurl overly personal insults at me. I am going to bed so that hopefully tomorrow, it will be the day when those men either apologize or fall off of a cliff!”

  “Yes, because that was so mature, Brynna.”

  “Perhaps it was not but I will not be debating that with you. Please, for your own sake, find somewhere else to sleep tonight.”

  I turned away, stung by all that had been shouted or venomously spat. What Elijah had said earlier received a new breath of life in my mind; it bounced back to the forefront to intermingle gladly with James’s cruel words. I was amazed that our fight had descended into such hostility. I understood that he was angry at me for not seeing things his way. I understood that he was frustrated because in his opinion, I was allowing myself to embrace naivety in place of a true grasp on the dangerous situation we were in.

  After returning to our bedroom and closing the door, I laid down on the bed. It was more like a gigantic pillow than a mattress, I decided. Thousands of feathers filled the two pieces of fabric that had been sewn together all around the ends. Under my head were regular pillows, fashioned the same way. The animal skin blanket was soft on both sides, keeping me warm despite the chill in my heart.

  Maura was in my mind, shaking her head at me. I warned you, she seemed to be saying. You allowed yourself to fall victim to his charms.

  She was right, but I still snapped at her to go away using disgusting obscenities that I had never uttered, even mentally.

  The door opened and closed quietly about an hour later. I heard his footsteps approach the bed. I had my eyes closed and was pretending to be asleep. As I wondered if he was going to attempt to wake me in order to apologize, he shed his shirt and pants and crawled into bed beside me. I waited, feeling his eyes on me. I did not know if I would accept his apology even if he offered one. We had been fighting and cruel things were always said in the scorching heat of a fight. They were things that were not meant. They were simply intended to weaken the defenses of the other person, for reasons that neither party truly understood. We only hurt the ones we love, after all. That ex
pression is an apt way to determine the causality of fights between people but it certainly does not determine a sure reason why we feel the need to tear down the ones we care for.

  I felt a fresh surge of anger roar to life in his heart as he turned away from me.

  I fell asleep.

  XXX

  I could not be sure that what occurred the following morning was just a dream. I assumed that it must have been the ideas of the hidden-away little girl that did exist somewhere inside of me. She was projecting her idealistic view of how a fight should resolve into my dreams.

  I felt James’s lips moving slowly up my arm to my neck and then to my cheek.

  “I’m sorry.” He whispered in my ear.

  And then, profoundly shocking both the cynical shrew and that wide-eyed, empty-headed little girl inside of me, he whispered:

  “I love you.”

  It was a dream. I awoke with the familiar longing to fall back into the sea of sleep where those beautifully poignant moments occurred. If there was one feeling that I loathed profoundly, it was awaking from the soothing alternate universe that existed only in sleep to find a harsh, hostile reality gnashing its teeth at me. I had been experiencing that literal wake-up call for much of my life. It never lost its potent, pitiless edge.

  “You look tired.” Alice informed me gently when I exited my room for my first day of work. She was attempting to make nice with me by displaying concern for my well-being. I was in no mood to hold a grudge. I nodded in response.

  “Are you alright?”

  “I am peachy, dear.” I lied effortlessly, “All is right with the world now that we are here.”

  “It is amazing, isn’t it?” She beamed brightly and began to pull her long, blonde hair into a messy bun on top of her head. “I really feel like we’re going to be okay from here on out. It will be easy to forget that there’s a fight going on.”

  “Indeed.” My insides soured upon hearing such blind optimism spoken out loud so freely. Was I spewing that same nonsense the night before? Was that what had angered James? Alice’s belief that all was perfectly well could be forgiven, for she had never displayed my same intelligent distrust. I had pulled the wool over my eyes, however briefly. James’s final words would not be excused until he had apologized properly. But I admitted bitterly that he was right in all the other things he had said.

  “Where’s James?”

  “He joined security detail. They need some muscle, I suppose.”

  “Quinn got that job, too!” Alice was clearly enthused by the common link between us. Both of our men were out fighting for our continued survival. We were bonded together by the sisterhood of brave women left behind by braver men. I suppressed a gag and several very self-righteous thoughts.

  “Did he offer you that job?” I asked her, and my mind cleared of all intelligence when she spoke again.

  “No. He said that you, Penny and Violet would be working in the kitchen and that I would be put there. Why? Did he offer that job to you?”

  “He did. I should have taken it. I do not know how I am going to fare doing something that requires no adrenaline or fangs.”

  “I know, right?” Alice said and I rolled my eyes, “After what we’ve been through these past couple of days, it’s going to be weird not to be constantly looking over our shoulders, isn’t it?”

  “Indeed. Alice,” I looked at her, prepared to shock myself by asking such a candid question of an intellectual inferior. “You and Quinn were experiencing some difficulties in your relationship before. Though his reasoning behind his anger was flawed and he knew that, he did not let it go.”

  “Yeah, he’s really stubborn. He always thinks he’s right, even when he’s being ridiculous, like he was with that fight we had. It drives me crazy sometimes.”

  “So, how did it resolve? How did you settle the matter?”

  Alice gaped at me for a moment, stunned that I was actually posing a question to her. In asking for a solution to mine and James’s problem, I was admitting that she knew something I did not. I expected her to stick her tongue out at me, gloat for the duration of our walk down to the kitchen, and then tell everyone she met about my moment of cerebral weakness.

  Instead, she reached out, placed her hand on my arm and rubbed it comfortingly. I cringed for a moment but then realized that her consolation was needed greatly.

  “You’re so weird.” She told me with a small smile. “Every time someone touches you, you cringe.”

  “Yes. I have trust issues. Could you answer my question?”

  “Well, we just had to let it run its course, I guess. I had to wait for him to actually let me talk before I could apologize for whatever part I played in it.”

  “So, you had to admit fault even though it was not…”

  “No, I didn’t say that I admitted fault. I apologized for not talking about it sooner. I apologized for the misunderstanding. The rest of the apologies had to come from him because he was in the wrong. I know that you’re probably going to say that you’re not at fault, but between you and James, in complete honesty, who is wronger?”

  “The correct term is 'more wrong' but...” I muttered and she frowned jokingly at me, “Never mind. I am not going to be biased, as I have slept on it for a night and am seeing it clearly now. I should have said things differently. I should have acknowledged that perhaps I was being slightly hypocritical. I should have agreed with him because I do actually agree. But what he said to me would have been very hurtful if I had feelings that could be hurt…”

  I saw her roll her eyes and smile slightly. I chose to ignore that. She chose not to call me on the ridiculous suggestion that I had no feelings.

  “We were both angry. I think, in a way, we are testing one another. We are trying to see how deeply our devotion runs. I could be wrong, I suppose.”

  “I don’t think so. But just know, from an outsider's perspective, that he really cares about you. I didn't think so before but after watching you two these past couple of days, I can see that. I know that you two haven’t been together for very long…” She trailed off and I realized that she had posed a question to me.

  “Well, it has only been since I found him in the woods that we have been dating officially. But there was always a spark, a flirtation, if you will, from the moment I began to trust him. I cannot say I felt that way from the moment we met because that is a long story.”

  “Well, I’d love to hear it sometime. But just keep that in mind. It hasn’t been long but his feelings for you run deep. It sounds really cheesy, but I can see it in the way he looks at you. And just so you know,” Alice beamed, “you look at him the same way.”

  When she walked into the kitchen ahead of me, I smiled to myself. I knew she was right about that. For the first time, I acknowledged that my feelings for James had progressed far more quickly than I ever could have imagined. Those were not the hopeful, blindly sanguine feelings present at the early stages in relationships. It was not ‘puppy love’, as it was called. It was, quite simply, love.

  It was a new breed of love, though. It was a perfect mixture of joyful lightness and dark recklessness. It was a love that could burn brilliantly or scorch painfully. It was far more enhanced than anything we could have experienced on Earth.

  It was yet another complexity of Pangean evolution.

  XXX

  I was not familiar with activities that were enjoyable due to the presence of other people, but that was the case with work in the kitchen. We had a daunting task ahead of us; we were required to utilize the homegrown Pangean fruits, vegetables and the hunted meat to make a meal large enough to feed the entire population of Don’s commune. Violet, Alice and I shuddered at the task, only to be reassured that it was not only possible, it was much easier than it sounded, given how many hands were contributing.

  I engaged in conversation with the other people, interested by each of their stories that were being shared with us freely. There were many different cultures coming together in that ki
tchen. There was a man from Brazil, a woman from Switzerland, a man from New Zealand… The list was endless. I enjoyed their company, truly.

  “My husband is on guard duty, too.” A woman named Rachel told me.

  “Do you worry about him? I am very worried about James and Elijah, admittedly.”

  “I was at first. But look at what’s happening to all of us. We’re getting stronger every day. We’re becoming more like Adam’s people. Maybe if we were still completely human, I’d have to worry about him. But now, I don’t worry at all. They can handle themselves. We could handle ourselves out there, what with what we’re changing into!”

  I laughed before replying.

  “We could probably handle it better.”

  She laughed raucously and nudged me with her elbow.

  “That’s right, girl.” She looked up at Penny, “Your sister is beautiful.”

  After watching the man from Japan expertly flip and toss his knives around before chopping the vegetables at record speed, Penny gasped, beamed brightly and clapped her hands in excitement. I covered my mouth as I beamed at the sight of her youthful enthusiasm.

  “She is, isn't she?” I responded to Rachel after that moment of observing Penny.

  “Is she secretly your little girl?” Rachel asked, and I shook my head before reconsidering.

  “Well,” I replied softly, “yes, I suppose if she was not already before, she certainly is now.”

  “You look at her the way moms look at their babies, I know that much. It’s very sweet.”

  “Thank you.” I replied with a soft chuckle.

  I returned to stirring the huge pot in front of me. It had taken six of us to lift it into its holder over the fire pit that was built at the far end of the kitchen, closest to the windows.

  “Can I ask you something?” She asked after looking over at me.

  I nodded and watched as she dropped some freshly cut spices into the boiling water.

  “I suppose so.”

  “How do you feel about the fact that she’ll never age?”

  I had not thought about it. Given that I was prone to looking at the darker side of any scenario, I was surprised to find that Penny remaining five for all eternity was not something that scared or saddened me in any way.