Mortality Bites - The COMPLETE Boxed Set (Books 1 - 10): An Urban Fantasy Epic Adventure

by Ramy Vance

  Aldie shook his head as he held onto the controller, his brow furrowed as he tried to anticipate Oche’s next move. “You said one day, right? Since we flew east, we lost hours. Lots of hours. If anything, they gave us extra time.”

  “Oh, great. Thanks.” I was fumbling with Aldie’s phone, trying to call Paradise Lot’s police station. The thing about phones in the sky is, even though we were closer to the satellites, they don’t really work. I guess they were programmed for phones that operated at certain heights. “Can you take us lower?”

  “How much lower?”

  “I don’t know … as low as the highest mountain peak around here?” I studied the screen. “I’ll let you know as soon as I get a signal.”

  “Why?” I heard Deirdre groan with anxiety. “I hate these metal birds. One is meant to ride atop a dragon, not in its belly.”

  Deirdre was having one hell of a time with it. Egya on the other hand, was laughing.

  “What’s so funny?” I yelled over my shoulder.

  “I just learned how to find my inner hyena—something I have craved since the gods left—and I’m about to die. The gods aren’t gone. They’re here. And they’re fucking with us, laughing their asses off.” He pointed to the sky and cackled. “I get the joke, you sadistic bastards. And I love it!”

  “Great. We’ve got Lt. Dan back there.”

  Aldie groaned. “Forrest Gump? The scene on the boat?”

  “Indeed.”

  “Good pop culture reference. Now hold on.” Aldie pushed the controller away from him and the plane’s nose took a dive. Oche appeared in the descending window. He wore a look of puzzled amusement that said, Are you crashing the plane for me? How considerate of you.

  “Do we have a signal?” Aldie cried out.

  “Planes that are rapidly descending really do make a cartoonish vroom noise,” I thought as I stared at the screen. “Nothing yet.”

  “Keep me posted,” he said like he wasn’t nosediving a plane into the ground.

  “Come on, come on, come on!” I was willing the little 4G symbol to pop up—or 3G, or even a friggin’ ‘E.’ Anything. And just as I was considering searching for a Wi-Fi signal, a single bar of signal appeared. “Got it!”

  Aldie pulled on the controller, and we leveled out as I dialed 911. The phone rang. Then rang again.

  It rang a third time before I finally heard a soft, lovely voice on the other end say, “Paradise Lot Police Department. Please state your emergency.”

  “I’m in a crashing plane being chased by an angel because I have Rooh Ina’ah—the Soul Jar, something that the archangel Gabriel told me I needed to deliver to Michael.”

  Pretty succinct description of our situation, if I do say so myself. But it also sounded insane, and I worried the dispatcher would dismiss me as a prank caller.

  Only in Paradise Lot would a statement like that be taken seriously. “OK, I need you to calm down, ma’am, and tell me where you are.”

  I looked out the cockpit window as a rush of desert rolled before us. “I have no idea. I just see sand. Like I said, I’m in a pl—”

  And before I could finish, the plane jolted and I felt a rush of wind. Turning, I saw the sky through the hole that Oche had torn in the back of the plane. And by hole, I mean he ripped off the entire back.

  The angel stalked into the cabin, his hand extended. “The Soul Jar.”

  Deirdre stood. “You shall not pass!”

  Did she really just make a Lord of the Rings reference? She’s becoming more and more human every day, was my last thought as the changeling dove into Oche, forcing him out the back of the plane.

  ↔

  DEIRDRE WAS GONE, the back of the plane was gone … but what was most worrying was that Egya’s cackles were gone. He wasn’t laughing, which could only mean one thing.

  We were screwed.

  Aldie held onto my hand. “You may want to assume the position.”

  “I thought you said it doesn’t do anything.”

  “It doesn’t,” he said, hugging his knees.

  When in Rome, I thought, and hugged my own.

  There were a series of thwacking noises as we hit the ground before bouncing back up and hitting again. We must have done that four times before the windshield broke, inviting in a sandstorm that buried us alive.

  DESERTS, TREES AND CHOICES

  I knew we had survived when I heard Egya’s cackle. Normally that noise grated on my recently reinstated soul. But hearing it then was music to my ears. We had survived the crash.

  But given that Oche was inevitably waiting for us out there, I knew our situation hadn’t improved. As I dug out of the sand that covered my body, I thought of the age-old adage: Out of the frying pan and into the arms of a murderous angel.

  “You OK?” I asked, reaching out a hand to Aldie.

  I couldn’t find him. He wasn’t there. Moreover, his seat wasn’t there. The initial thwacks must have dislodged his seat, which meant that he was somewhere behind us. Thoughts of the worst swam through my head. “He could be mangled, or buried under sand, suffocating. He could be—”

  “Then we best go find him,” Egya said. The were-hyena had already unstrapped himself and was reaching to unstrap my own belt. Say what you will about him, he could be calm in a plane crash. There wasn’t anyone else in the world I wanted by my side in a fight.

  “OK, let’s go.” I peeled myself out of my seat and headed to the back of the plane.

  Outside, I saw that we had driven head-first into a sand dune. Desert surrounded us, but because of the nature of the dunes, we had to climb up to see much farther.

  We couldn’t see any sign of Aldie or Deirdre and Oche. I worried for my fae friends. Aldie for being helplessly ripped out of a plane, and Deirdre because she now faced off against an angel who had bested her in battle before. She was powerful. Very powerful. And for Oche to have done to her what he did showed just how dangerous he was.

  “I thought Paradise Lot was an island near Europe,” Egya said as we took in the desert’s expanse. He pointed in the direction of a single giant oak tree that stood alone in a sea of nothing.

  “We are,” I said. “I studied this place. Paradise Lot is the only Other-majority place on Earth, with a disproportionate number of portals opening here. Where we are standing was once a lush forest. When the gods left, everything died. And not just died, withered into nothing. Everything but that tree.”

  “Let me guess, they’ve nicknamed it the Tree of Life?”

  “Good guess.” But when I saw his face, I understood that he was playing with me. “You knew that already.”

  “Jeopardy. 1000 points in the ‘How Our World Changed’ category.”

  “Humph. Shall we?” I pointed toward the back of the plane. “If we’re going to find them, they’ll be that way.”

  ↔

  THERE WAS no point in hiding. Either Deirdre had won and we needed to find her, or she’d lost and Oche would take to the sky, find the wreckage and come after us. All that was left for us to do was find our friends and prepare for a fight.

  As we struggled to walk on the uneven sand, I heard Egya breathing hard. He was out of shape, or—

  Looking at my friend, I saw that his nose had extended slightly, and the tips of his fingers had elongated into sharp claws. “Shit, Aldie’s breathing thing really works?”

  “It does.” His voice came out deeper, sultrier, like a low growl. Egya lifted his nose into the air and sniffed. “Aldie is that way.” Another sniff. “And Deirdre is that way.” He was pointing in two different directions.

  Deciding which way to go was like Sophie’s Choice—if her choice was deciding which of the two people she loved deeply she was going to save. Truth is, I have no idea what Sophie’s Choice is about. I’ve never seen it.

  In the end, Egya made the decision for me. “Separating now will only mean we all die. We go for Deirdre. We deal with the threat. And in the unlikely event we survive, we find Aldie.” He wasn’t laughi
ng, but staring at me with a deadly seriousness I had never seen in him before. He knew the stakes full well, and he was ready to see this to the bitter end.

  We trekked in the direction of where Deirdre should be. It took about ten minutes of walking, but eventually we found her. She was fine, walking in the direction of the tree.

  “Deirdre,” I called out, running to my changeling friend. “Deirdre!”

  The changeling turned and let out the biggest yelp of joy. “Milady! Milady lives. I was sure you were consumed by the demise of the flying beast.”

  Tears of relief poured out of her and she wrapped one powerful arm around me. It was only up-close that I saw her other arm hung useless at her side. “Your arm?”

  “Destroyed in the crash.”

  “What do you mean, destroyed? I’m sure it’s only broken. A cast and some time and you’ll be good as new.” But as I took a closer look, I knew I was lying. Her arm was mush. It must have broken in two dozen places. The fact that she wasn’t reeling in pain was a testament to the changeling’s strength.

  Tear of remorse flowed from me. “I’m so sorry,” I said. “I’m so sorry for bringing you into this. I’m so sorry—”

  “No, milady. I am grateful, for you have given me something that I craved more than life itself. Purpose.”

  “Purpose?”

  She nodded. “And right now, my purpose is to prepare for the angel’s return.”

  Wiping away tears of my own, I looked around. “Where … where is he?”

  “Mid-battle, I heard a ringing. The brutish angel took to the sky before stating that he would return to finally end me. I can only assume his master called him, and that the two of them will return imminently. I am going to the tree, as it is the only place with even ground and cover. It is the best place for us to stage our final stand.”

  “Final stand, eh?” Egya giggled. “Optimistic much?”

  Deirdre gave Egya a look that would have silenced a banshee. “Yes, our final stand. For today we die. Let it be glorious.”

  ANGELS, STONES AND INDECISIONS

  T he tree was massive, with a low canopy hanging just above us. If I jumped, I could grab one of the low-hanging branches, but I saw no strategic advantage to it. The only thing this tree really offered us was cover, which took away Oche’s ability to use his flight against us.

  Deirdre was right: we were doomed. We were a weaponless, five-arm-strong adventuring party about to storm the gates of Mordor. Or rather, the gates of Mordor were about to storm us.

  I really wished Aldie was with us. His elven prowess was sorely missed. But more than that, I found myself craving one of his believe in yourself speeches. I could really use a pep talk.

  Deirdre and Egya were hard at work gathering stones. They were counting on the David vs. Goliath win … I, on the other hand, was less optimistic that a well-aimed rock would turn the tide of this battle.

  But if Aldie had taught me anything, it was that if you believed you were doomed, you probably were. Especially considering the only other thing that would save us—the phone I had used to call 911—was somewhere among the destruction of the plane we’d just crashed in.

  So, stones it was.

  We must have built about three decent-sized piles when Egya lifted his nose to the air and said, “They’re here.”

  Oh yay!

  ↔

  STEPPING out from under the canopy, I watched as Oche lowered from the sky, Enoch cradled in his arms like they were newlyweds. Hah—newlyweds. I wondered what my death would do to our honeymoon. Knowing Enoch, he probably had some zombie spell in his arsenal and his revised plan was to reanimate me, Walking Dead style.

  Still, I had one ace up my sleeve.

  “Still want this?” I held up the Soul Jar.

  Enoch nodded. “I’m afraid, dear Katrina, that we are past bartering for your life or the lives of your friends. This is the end game for you.”

  “I know,” I said. “I figure that I’m doomed, Fates predicting our nuptials or not. Still, just because you’re over me doesn’t mean I can’t hurt you.”

  “You cannot,” he rasped.

  “Oh, but I can.” I set the Soul Jar on the ground and, picking up a large rock before me, I held it over the tiny magic item. As soon as I did, Oche tensed as he prepared to rush at me.

  Enoch held out a steadying hand. “Humph—do you really think an item as powerful as the Soul Jar can be destroyed by a mortal hand and an ordinary rock?”

  “I have no idea, but from the way you just stopped your pet pigeon, I’m taking it that you don’t, either.”

  Enoch may have been an expert poker player, but even the best at hiding their telltale signs will break when something they truly love or need is threatened. Enoch’s eyes twitched. That was all I needed to know that he wasn’t willing to risk it.

  Besides, I knew I was right the minute I looked at him. I was wearing his little lens—the Eye of Borvo—and it revealed his greatest desires. Whereas when he landed his desires were a mixture of killing us and getting the Soul Jar, as soon as I threatened it, his desire became very much about stopping me.

  “So, what’s it going to be?” I said. “Let them go?”

  He tilted his head. “You still fight for them.”

  “Always.”

  “And if I do … the Jar?”

  “No,” I said. “I’ll never give you this. Never.”

  “So then, what leverage do you have?”

  “An appeal to your humanity. That is all I have left. I ask you to find the kindness and decency that still thrives in your soul and let them go.”

  Something that I said clearly touched a nerve, because Enoch hesitated. There were no “It’s too late” or “I have a greater purpose” speeches. He considered my plea.

  “I so wish I could, but I have gone too far down the path of wrong to change now. But you know that. Just as you know that this little banter won’t change anything.”

  “I know,” I said.

  “Then what is the purpose of all this?”

  “Egya,” I said, “any good news?”

  There was a pause and a sniff. “Yes. A minute, maybe a bit more.”

  “The purpose,” I said, staring down Enoch with rage-filled hate, “was to stall you while we waited for the cavalry to arrive.”

  Egya’s new super-nose was wrong; we didn’t have to wait a minute. We only had to wait another three seconds before the earth shook with a deafening voice.

  “What is the meaning of all this?” thundered the archangel Michael as he hovered above us. I didn’t think there was an angel in this world or any other that could be bigger than Oche, and I was wrong. Michael was. Not by much, but there was a bulk there that Oche didn’t have.

  And stature. Put the two of them side by side and you knew who was in charge.

  Next to Michael hovered another angel I had never seen before. She was slender, tall and looked like a young Cindy Crawford—if that was, Cindy was brandishing a glowing sword.

  “Ahh, Miral and Michael have joined the party. Archangel and Leader of the Celestial Army, I welcome you,” Enoch rasped. “But this affair is not to be attended by two as lowly as you. This affair demands higher beings with a larger grasp of universal needs.”

  “Holy guacamole, did he just imply that the archangel Michael is a lower being than his human ass?”

  Egya howled with inhuman laughter as Deirdre tried to shush the half-turned hyena, or boy, or whatever the hell he was now. Damn, I must have thought that one out loud.

  “Silence, AlwaysMortals,” Enoch growled. “None of you truly grasps what is at play here. If you think these two angels will do anything to change the outcome of this day, you are laboring under a severe misapprehension.”

  I lifted a confused eyebrow. “That’s a convoluted way of saying they’re not going to help? But to your point, I don’t know about that. It’s all pretty simple, really. You’ve got a hard-on for this and me.”

  He let out a dismi
ssive breath.

  “Oh, come on,” I said. “You’re honestly telling me that if I had a change of heart and were to welcome you into my oh-so-pretty bosom, you’d say no?” I puffed up my chest to give him a better view of my, um, assets. “The answer is still, ‘Even if you were the last man on earth,’ by the way. Anyhoo … you want this and you want to end it all.”

  I picked the Soul Jar up and held it up high. “Gabriel told me to give you this.”

  Michael narrowed his eyes as he stared at the tiny, seemingly innocuous pendant in my hands. As soon as he realized what I held, I swear to the GoneGods electricity coursed through his eyes, causing the tiny hairs on my body to stand up and demand I run.

  But I didn’t. I held my ground. “He said you will protect the world from the evil that would seek to use this to their own, private gain. That you were the only guardian left in this world or any other who knew what to do with this. That the hierarchy of order is yours to uphold.” As I spoke the words, I couldn’t remember Gabriel saying any of that stuff, and yet the words flowed out of me like they were the only truth I was allowed to speak.

  Holy ghost, Batman, I thought, I’m being used as a celestial mouthpiece.

  And that pissed me off. I hate being used. By people, other ex-vampires and angels … I’m not their toy to be manipulated. I shook my head and summoned my own will to speak. “I don’t know about all that. What I do know is that this asshole wants it. And let me repeat, just in case you missed it: Enoch here is planning on ending all life after he gets it.”

  Enoch looked up at the angels. “Miral, Michael—leave. I am here doing God’s will.”

  “And what is His will, exactly?” Miral pointed the tip of her sword at Enoch.

  As soon as she did, Oche took a step, shielding Enoch from her should she choose to swoop down and smite his raspy ass.

  “Do you threaten the Witness?” Oche snarled.

  “Silence, lowly angel,” Miral shot back.