Hey Brother

by Jarrah Dundler

  ‘Beee yeew yeew yeeew yeeew yeeew yew. THE BOMB!’

  ‘Snoop doggy—daaaawwwwwg!’

  ‘C’mon then, Big Man,’ Flamingo Girl said. ‘Come an’ dance. None of the other fellas round here are game enough.’

  Before I could say anything, she yanked me onto the dance floor and wedged me between her and Zebra Girl. They cackled and winked and licked their lips as they danced, one in front and one behind, moving closer as the song progressed, shaking their arses. But before they could get too close Jessica yanked me back off the dance floor, glaring at those girls like she was thinking of clawing their eyes out.

  She pulled my head down to hers and gave me a huge pash, then pointed to the kitchen. ‘More drinks, remember?’

  ‘Ricky! What’s up, Mr Barman? Know how to make a Pino Colorado?’

  ‘Nah.’

  ‘Yeah, neither do I, hey.’ I slapped my hand on the kitchen counter. ‘Make it two rum and Cokes then.’

  ‘Righto!’

  I handed the drink to Jessica and she went back into the lounge room, glaring at the dancing girls like she was ready to toss her drink at them. After walking in little circles for a bit, she spied Jade sprawled out on the couch, and stumbled over and joined her.

  ‘Where the fuck ya been all night?’ I asked Ricky.

  ‘Jade’s room!’

  ‘Hey? I can’t hear ya! Music’s too loud!’

  ‘I said, Jade’s room!’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘Shit yeah! Jade gave me a…’

  But I couldn’t catch the end of the sentence. Something about a hedgehog? ‘What?’

  ‘Jade gave me a head job!’ Ricky said right as the music stopped. ‘A head job, brother! She SUCKED MY DICK!’

  I turned round. Jade leapt off the couch and fled across the lounge room, hands over her face like a pop star being hounded by the paparazzi. The safari girls and the two fellas who’d joined them on the dance floor pointed after Jade and chuckled their arses off as she disappeared down the hallway.

  ‘Shit! Sorry, babe.’ Ricky charged after her.

  ‘Ha!’ said one of the fellas on the dance floor. ‘He’s aiming for another!’

  Then the music resumed and the dancing started up again like nothing had happened. I stood behind the kitchen counter, sipping my drink and watching as Jessica made her way to the middle of the dance floor. I watched her for a while, moving her hips, shaking her arse, rolling her shoulders—busting out moves that made Zebra and Flamingo look like they had two left feet. And all the while her eyes were on me.

  When I couldn’t stand the watching any longer, I tossed back the rest of my drink and grabbed the half-empty rum bottle and a large bottle of Coke. Then I strode across the dance floor, linked arms with Jessica and led her to the Tank, which—zhoom!—was a quick journey because time and space disappeared into blackness again.

  A couple more drinks. A whole lot more kissing and then time and space disappeared for a long while.

  ‘Hey! Trysten, get off. GET OFF!’

  Jessica shoved me off her and I rolled onto the floor of the Tank.

  I looked up at her. Everything was clearer—still a bit fuzzy round the edges, but clearer. She didn’t look so crash hot now—her hair was like a crow’s nest that’d been blown from a tree, her lipstick all smeared up her cheeks like a scary clown. Big black rings ran round her eyes.

  Fuck! Why had she pushed me off? I racked my brain, but couldn’t remember anything.

  ‘What happened? Why did you push me?’

  Jessica jiggled her foot up and down and rubbed her shin. ‘You fell asleep on me and gave me a dead leg, ya dick!’

  ‘Ah, phew!’

  ‘Oh, thanks, Casanova.’

  ‘Nah, didn’t mean that.’ I climbed back onto the seat. ‘My mind’s all blank. Last thing I remember is kissing you, and I was worried I might’ve tried to…’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Y’know, push you…’

  ‘What? Push me into something?’

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘Don’t worry. I know you wouldn’t, not like that Michael dickhead was always trying to. That’s one of the reasons why I picked you.’

  ‘That right?’ I smiled. ‘What are the other reasons then?’

  ‘Ah, well. Let’s see. You might be a bit full of yourself, but you’re not full of shit.’

  I nodded. ‘Yeah? What else?’

  She looked me up and down, then putting on a voice like she’d lived here all her life and not in the city, said, ‘And ya scrub up alright!’

  ‘Ha!’ I winked. ‘You do a pretty good job of that yourself!’

  She laughed. ‘And you know how to make a girl feel special. Real special.’

  ‘Ah, jeez, Jessica. You make me feel real special too. I think I love you, hey.’

  She smiled. And even with her hair all messed up, and that scary clown make-up, and those panda-ringed eyes, that smile she gave me, wider, brighter than I’d ever seen her smile before, like she was so happy she could explode like a firecracker—made me feel the best I’d ever felt in my whole goddamn life.

  Then she winked. ‘You know what, Trysten, I think I might be heading that way too.’

  And even though she didn’t say the words it was enough to make me feel like I might explode too.

  Hand in hand we walked from the Kingswood past the row of cars parked alongside Jade’s house. There were heaps more than when I arrived, including one I’d seen earlier in the evening. Adz’s Subaru.

  ‘C’mon,’ I said. ‘Let’s go over to the fire. I think Shaun might be here.’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘Yeah!’

  We walked across the backyard towards the open gate and the twenty or so people circled round the fading bonfire in the paddock.

  I knew I should get moving. It was probably only a couple of hours till sunrise, but I just couldn’t let go of Jessica’s hand. I wanted to hold onto it forever. I was gonna stay till morning. If I got busted, fuck it.

  I was gazing over to Jessica, who was looking up at the shimmering stars, when a loud whistling noise—thrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeww—broke the silence.

  I looked up to see a faint orange light rocketing up.

  BANG. BOOM! POP…POP…POP…POP-POP-POP-POP-POP-POP-POP.

  ‘Fireworks, awesome!’

  ‘Fuck yeah!’

  Thrrrrreeeeeeeeeww! BANG! Thrrrreeeeeeeeeeww! BOOM! POP…POP…POP…POP-POP-POP-POP-POP-POP-POP.

  Firework after firework shot up in the air, red and yellow, fizzing and raining down into the paddock behind the fire.

  ‘Yeah!’

  ‘Fucken good one, fellas!’

  We weaved through the crowd round the fading fire, now just a few crumbles of logs and a scattering of coals.

  ‘Shaaa-aun! Aaaa-dam! Anyone seen Shaun and Adam?’

  We’d done a whole circle when I spotted Adam’s orange and black footy shirt. He faced the fire. A girl with long blonde hair had her hand tucked in his back jeans pocket. Adam’s arm was wrapped round her back, resting on her arse, which stuck out like a shelf.

  ‘Adam!’ I stepped towards them. ‘Adam! How was Shaun? Thanks for going to see him, hey. Didn’t manage to drag him out, did ya?’

  Before they’d turned their heads it hit me: that blonde hair. That shelf-arse. Amy!

  ‘Oh, Trysten. Hey, buddy…What are you—’

  I pointed at them. ‘What’s going on here?’

  Jessica squeezed my hand. I pulled away from her, stepped closer to Adam and Amy. ‘I said, what’s going on?’

  ‘Hey, Trysten, mate.’ Adam reached out to place his hand on my shoulder. ‘Listen, I can ex—’

  I slapped his hand away. ‘Don’t fucken touch me!’

  Adam folded his arms over his solid chest, looked down. Moving from defence to offence. He lowered his voice. ‘Hey, little fella. You’d better calm it down, got it?’

  The circle of people round the sleepy bonfire broke and then re-formed roun
d Adam and me. Two figures, the ones who’d put on the fireworks show—one fat, one skinny—emerged from the darkness at the other end of the paddock and strolled over to the fire. Acker and Jase.

  ‘And you two!’ I yelled. ‘Youse knew about this too, huh?’

  Jase broke into the circle, stepped between me and Adam and held his hands up, palms facing me. ‘Hey, Trysten. I ain’t too fucken happy with this so-called best mate of Shaun’s at the moment either.’ He glared over his shoulder at Adam, then stepped towards me and placed his hands on my chest.

  ‘Listen,’ he said quietly. ‘I get why yer pissed off—when I found out, bumping into ’em in Big Town the other day, I wanted to belt him too. Me versus Adam, though? Nah, mate, I know which fights to pick. Plus, it’s not my fight to fight. It’s Shaun’s. I told Adz he’d better man up and tell Shaun himself. Be in his best interest. Shaun’d take the news easier from the horse’s mouth, might only break one of his arms.’

  I leant around Jase to look at Adam. ‘So…that’s what the call was about? That’s why you went to see him tonight?’ I pointed at Amy. ‘And you! Did you go and see him, too? Rub salt in the wound, huh? How did he take it, hearing you two’d been screwing round while he was away?’

  Amy stepped forward, brushing Jase gently aside. ‘Listen, Trysten. Nothing happened while Shaun was away. I promise. I broke up with him when he got back—well, I’ve been trying to. Adz and I, well, it’s new…it only—’

  ‘WOO-HEY!’ Ricky barged through the crowd into the middle of the circle. Amy stepped back beside Adam. Ricky looked from them to me and back again. ‘What the fuckedy fuck is goin’ on ’ere?’

  I pointed at Adam and Amy. ‘That! That’s what’s goin’ on.’

  ‘What? Hey, ya saying this fella here is rooting Shaun’s missu—’

  ‘I’m not his missus!’

  ‘Yeah, well,’ I said. ‘It’s still not fucken right.’ Something else wasn’t right either. I looked Adam up and down. Not a scratch. Not a bruise. Nothing.

  Ricky started pacing back and forth across the middle of the circle, between Adam and Amy and me, his slurry voice rising with each word. ‘Can’t fucken believe this! Fucken people doing something like this to a fella in trouble. I mean, don’t youse fucken know? Shaun can’t be set off right now. Shaun’s gone FUCKEN MENTAL!’

  ‘Ricky!’ Jessica pulled on Ricky’s sleeve. ‘Shhh!’

  A hush fell over the crowd. Not a soul spoke. The only sound was the fire crackling behind Adam.

  With my head lowered I stared at the grass at my feet. It was all torn up—roots ripped from the earth. I must’ve been booting it like a bull ready to charge. I could sense everyone’s eyes on me. They were waiting for me to say or do something.

  I kicked up some more grass with my boot. Thinking. I just couldn’t get my head round it. Why hadn’t Shaun done something? Why was Adam at the party and not the hospital? Maybe, with Shaun being mental and the meds and everything, he was just too damned crushed to do anything.

  I wasn’t, but. Keeping my head down, I charged forward.

  Booofff.

  My head got Adam square in the guts. He tumbled back, and fell on his arse in the fire. Then, as he scrambled out, slapping wildly at his jeans, screaming—a nightmarish scream that made me think of Shaun and his moods and how defeated he’d looked and Mum and Trev’s keep an eye on him—it hit me. If Shaun hadn’t hurt Adam, there was only one other person he might try to hurt.

  Himself.

  I yanked the Tank’s door open and climbed in. I tried to pull the door shut, but someone had it from the outside. Someone else had fled from around the fire. Jessica.

  ‘Let go!’ I yelled. ‘You’re not coming!’ I reached out and prised her fingers off the handle and slammed the door.

  ‘Trysten! I want to come and help!’

  ‘No! I’ve got to get to him. Now!’

  Through the windscreen I saw Adam storming across Jade’s back lawn.

  I rammed the keys in the ignition. Started the Tank. Flicked the lights on and put her into reverse.

  ‘Jessica,’ I called out the window. ‘Call my house. Tell Mum I’m on my way and ask her to check on Shaun.’

  Bang! Adam dived onto the front of the Tank, snarled at me through the windscreen and smashed his fist on the bonnet. ‘I’m gonna fucken kill you!’

  Jessica screamed and leapt out of the way.

  I put my foot down. The Tank shot backwards, sending Adam tumbling off. As he stood, gravel and dirt was flung up from the Tank’s spinning front wheels and hit him in the chest and face.

  Cop that!

  ‘I’m gonna kill you, ya cunt!’

  I changed gear. Too fast. The Tank stalled. ‘FUCK!’

  Adam wiped the dust from his face and, shielding his eyes with one hand and making a fist with the other, marched through the high-beam light towards the Tank.

  My hands shook as I turned the key. I started her. Stalled her again!

  ‘Fuck fuck fuck!’

  I thought I was done for when, from the darkness above, a figure swooped like a bat, grabbed Adam round the head and slammed him to the ground.

  I found a gear and turned onto the driveway, taking one last look at the scene.

  Ricky had pinned Adam and was laying into his face over and over again.

  ‘That’s for me brother,’ he yelled. ‘And that’s for me brother’s brother!’

  22

  I slid the shed door open. His lights were off, but I could make out Shaun’s shape under the sheets. Asleep. Safe.

  Phew!

  I stepped out and was starting to slide the door closed when something, a niggling feeling, like someone was standing behind me, made me turn to check again.

  Even in the dim light from the stars shining through his window I could tell it wasn’t right. I couldn’t see his head on the pillow. His arm wasn’t sticking out from under the sheets. Like all that was under there was a pile of…

  ‘No! Ah, no!’

  I flicked the light on.

  ‘FUCK!’

  ‘Mum! Dad!’ I crashed against the hallway walls like a wrecking ball. ‘Where is he? Where’s Shaun?’

  Music blasted from the lounge room. Cold Chisel—Trev’s favourite.

  I slammed my fists on Mum and Dad’s bedroom door. ‘Open up. Quick!’

  Dad opened the door and stepped into the hallway, wrapping a dressing-gown round his grey-haired chest. ‘Huh? What’s going on?’

  ‘Shaun! Where is he?’

  ‘He’s in the shed. Yer mum went and checked on him just half an hour ago.’

  ‘No! Shaun’s not in the shed.’

  Mum barged past Dad. ‘What? What did you say about—’

  ‘He’s not in the shed! And he wasn’t there either. He wasn’t there. But Adam was. Don’t you get it? Adam was there and he was with Amy! And—’

  ‘Calm down, would ya? What are you talking about? Shaun wasn’t where?’

  ‘The party!’

  ‘WHAT?’ Mum shrieked. ‘You wen—’

  ‘Mum!’ I slammed my palm against the wall beside her head. ‘Listen, would ya! Adam came here earlier, right, to see Shaun?’

  ‘Yeah, I wasn’t going to let him up there but figured it was Adam, y’know. They chatted for a while and Adam took off and I guess Shaun went to be—’

  ‘Mum! Adam came to see Shaun to tell him that he’s with Amy now. Came to break the news.’

  Dad was the first to react properly—pupils growing wide, face paling.

  ‘What? Really? Nah, Trysten. Yer having us on. Now, why—’

  ‘Mum, fucken shut up! Don’t you fucken get it? Shaun’s not in the shed. Shaun’s in trouble!’

  Then Mum got it. ‘Shit!’ She leant back against the wall and grabbed Dad’s arm.

  ‘Quick.’ I placed my hands on Dad’s shoulders, stared into his eyes. ‘We’ve got to move quick!’

  I turned and started down the hallway, Dad and Mum close behind me.
r />   ‘Shaun!’ Dad shouted.

  ‘Shaun!’ I peered into the lounge room.

  Trev was asleep on the couch, sitting upright, head crooked right back, the cover of the Cold Chisel CD in one hand, a half-finished beer in the other, snoring.

  I scooted over and turned the music down. As soon as I did I heard the phone ringing.

  ‘That could be him!’ Mum made a start for the kitchen.

  ‘No.’ I pushed past her. ‘You wake Trev—fill him in. The phone’ll be for me.’ I picked it up. ‘Jessica?’

  Her voice trembled. ‘Ah, shit, Trysten, it was messy…Ricky…Adam got the better of him before Jase stepped in and broke it up and sent Adam and Amy on their way…Soon as the fight was over I tried to call. No one picked up. What’s happened? Is Shaun okay?’

  ‘Dunno. Can’t find him.’

  ‘Fuck!’

  ‘Yeah! I gotta go!’

  ‘Okay, bye. Good lu—’

  I hung up the phone as Trev zipped through the hallway and onto the verandah. ‘Shaun,’ he roared. ‘Shaun!’

  Mum and Dad raced from room to room.

  ‘Shaun! Shaun!’

  ‘Shaun! C’mon, mate, where are ya?’

  I followed Trev onto the verandah. ‘C’mon, Shaun!’

  ‘Not inside,’ Dad said from behind us. He stepped out onto the verandah and almost tripped over something. At his feet was a wooden box, one of the precious items he’d salvaged from the caravan. The rest of the junk—the cups and books and trinkets—was scattered about on the tarp.

  ‘Dad. Did you unwrap that?’

  ‘Nope.’

  ‘You didn’t take the rope?’

  ‘Nope. Why?’

  ‘Ah, fuck,’ said Trev.

  Mum appeared in the doorway. ‘Oh, god.’ She fell to her knees. ‘Oh, god. Oh, god. Oh, god!’

  ‘Shaun!’ Trev screamed into the night sky. ‘Shaun, where are you?’

  His voice echoed back from the hill on the other side of the creek. Where are you? Where are you?