Wanting Winter

by J. L. Ostle

  I try to crawl away, but it’s useless. He comes my way and puts the cloth over my mouth. I try and fight the darkness that’s taking over, but soon my eyes close and I’m taken away from this world for a little while.

  Eighteen

  Trent

  I wake up the next day, grabbing my phone and notice I have a message from Winter. Opening it up, I feel a little disappointed at her words, but I understand.

  Winter: I had to leave for a few days to clear my head. I’m going to head to my mom’s. Don’t try and contact me as I need this time to think about what I want.

  Me: Take all the time you need. If you need me, I’m just a phone call away

  I put my phone away, and, heading to the living room, I see Drake sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee in his hands, deep in thought. I know what he is thinking about.

  Not what. Who.

  “Hey man,” I say heading to the kitchen making myself a coffee. When ready, I sit opposite him and he is looking at me.

  “Did you get a message?” he asks.

  I nod. “I did.”

  He knows I went down to talk to Winter. When he told me that he’d slept with her, it hurt, but when he admitted that he wished he hadn’t, that surprised me. He enjoyed it, who wouldn’t, but he hated how it happened. He wished it hadn’t been outside on top of his car. He’d wanted it to be more special. He’s a romantic at heart, but now that he’s done it, he sees her differently. He got what he wanted, but sometimes, when you get something you’ve wanted for so long, the fun in wanting is gone.

  This I know.

  I told him that Candice and I were over, and he was relieved to hear that but not happy when I told him that I still wanted Winter. I told him that I was going to tell her how I felt, that she deserved to know, and that it would then be up to her what she did with that piece of information.

  I guess being around us all is too much.

  “She is going to take you back isn’t she?” he says, slumping back.

  I hate that he is upset about this. He is the last person I want to hurt but I think I love her and I can’t live the rest of my life wondering what if. However, I saw tears in her eyes. She was crying over him. “I don’t know. I messed her up—hurt her so bad. I don’t think she can ever get past that. Not really.”

  “This is fucked up.”

  “I know. I slept with her best friend and now she has slept with mine. The question now is, do you still want her?”

  Winter

  I open my heavy eyes feeling dizzy, and look around the small space. The place is full of darkness apart from a small window on the far side. I try and move but I cry out in pain, my body hurting.

  Last night’s events come rushing back and tears fall down my cheeks. I move myself so I am sitting up, hugging my sides and look around, wondering where I am. Then, I realize that I’m still in the building but in the basement. He brought me to the basement.

  I can’t believe Patrick did this to me.

  I was raped.

  My head falls into my hands as I sob.

  You hear it happening all the time, but you never think it will happen to you. I try and stand but my body is too sore to move from where I am. I need to heal; I need my strength.

  I am sure someone will realize I’m missing soon.

  Once I am out of here, I hope they lock Patrick up and throw away the key.

  I am looking at my surroundings, trying to find something I can eventually use as a weapon when the door opens, and Patrick stands there with a bottle of water and a sandwich.

  “Finally awake,” he says, coming in. He bends down, stroking my hair away from my face, but I turn my away, not wanting his touch. He punishes me with a backhand across my face making me fall to my side. “That wasn’t really very smart.” He stands up, taking the drink and food with him.

  “Please let me go,” I cry out in pain.

  “Why would I do that? I’m in far too deep now to let you go.”

  I sit up with the little strength I have. “I won’t tell anyone. If you let me go, I won’t say a word. I promise.”

  He laughs. “Of course you won’t,” he says sarcastically. “You will keep all this a secret.” He comes over. “I know how this works. I keep you here for the rest of your life or I kill you. I am sure you don’t want the latter to happen.”

  Oh, my God. Is he going to eventually kill me?

  “Why would you do this?” I continue to cry.

  “Winter, I wanted you the first day I saw you. I became your friend. I have been there, looking after you, and how do you repay me? by whoring yourself to those three pretty boys. You are mine, Winter; you have always been, and I don’t like sharing.” He sets the water and food aside. “How about you please me, and I might let you have a bath. Well, a sponge bath, as you can see there are no toilets or baths in here.” He waves around the room.

  Please him? Just thinking about him touching me is making me feel sick. “Patrick please,” I beg.

  “Well if you won’t give it willingly…” He grabs my legs, pulling me and making me fall back. “I will have to take it.” He rips my dress, throwing the material away from me, leaving me completely naked. “Now that’s better.” He flips me over, so my face is to the ground, and I hear his zipper before he enters me again.

  Just like last night, he enters me hard, not caring if I’m ready for him.

  I cry on the ground, my tears falling, him thrusting in and out before he comes.

  He leaves me there while he stands. “You need to learn to please me, Winter if you want this to be easier for you.” I hear him say before I hear the door lock, and I continue to stay where I am, crying.

  Trent

  It has been a week and neither Drake nor I have heard a word from Winter. I want to give her, the space she’s asked for, but at the same time, I want to see if she’s okay. I have a bad feeling, but I don’t know what it is. It’s just this gut feeling that something is wrong.

  At lunch, I sit next to Drake as he is reading his book. I look around the room and I see Candice sitting next to Joshua, talking to him. I watch them, and he looks angry while she looks bored with the conversation.

  Like they can feel me watching them, they both face me.

  Candice looks at me angrily; Joshua just shakes his head before looking away.

  I hope Candice isn’t going back there because she found out that he slept with Winter and is trying to do the same trick again, but with him.

  “Something is wrong, I can feel it.” I tell Drake my concerns.

  “She’s fine; she’s processing. She’ll be in touch once she’s ready,” he says, not looking up.

  I glare at him, but he doesn’t notice. I know he is right. I’m just being impatient.

  I just miss her.

  Joshua

  “Candice, you lost the guy. Get over it,” I tell her.

  “Me get over it? This wasn’t the plan. He was meant to stay mine,” she whines.

  “You should have tried harder—should have stopped being such a spoilt brat. Now get out of my face,” I say bitterly.

  “What is up your ass? Winter not putting out?” she jokes.

  I grit my teeth. “She has gone to her mom’s to think things through. I just haven’t heard from her in the last few days,” I tell her. I know she is deciding who she wants to be with. I just know that if it’s not me, I will be back to my asshole ways.

  I will be a dick again; it’s my defense mechanism.

  “She went to her mom’s?” Candice asks, confused.

  “Yeah. It’s what she said in her message.” I take out my phone from my pocket, handing it to her. She reads it then hands it back.

  Winter

  I have lost count of how many days I have been down here. I’m lucky if I get one bottle of water and something to eat a day.

  He is making sure I stay weak.

  He doesn’t want me to fight.

  He visits me twice a day, sometimes more.

&nbs
p; Lucky for me, he hasn’t raped me again, but his new pleasure is hurting me. My body has got skinnier; I see bruises and cuts cover my body. My ribs are black and blue. Down near my pussy, the bruising has gone yellowish. He kicked me there a few times when I wouldn’t comply with what he wanted. It was the worst pain I’ve ever felt.

  I hear the door open and he has bags with him.

  I hug the wall, wanting it to open up and swallow me in.

  He walks closer to me, dropping the bags in front of me, and grabs my ankles before pulling me across the hard, dirty floor. Opening the bag, he takes out something, locking my ankles to this device that keeps my legs spread open.

  He does the same thing to my wrists, placing them above my head, he pushes me over so I’m facing the ground. He doesn’t really like seeing my face these days; he always hurts me face down. I hear him taking a few things out of the bag, and I dread what he has planned for today.

  “You look good all pale and blue.”

  His hands glide down my body, going to my ass. He then pushes something hard and smooth into my puckered hole, making me cry out from the invasion.

  “Beautiful,” he says, pushing it in further. I cry out, the object stretching me, filling me.

  He keeps pushing until whatever it is, is in deep. He takes it out slowly and rams it back in. It’s like each day he finds ways to hurt me even more.

  After a few minutes, he stops. I hear his breathing coming in faster. Then I feel a whack across my back, the burning sting reaching all over my body. He has belted me. He hits me over and over. I can feel blood falling down my sides. He goes to my legs, with each hit I sob out.

  “I thought you wanted to try this. You told Trent as much. You wanted to try the BDSM. I am fulfilling your wishes.” He hits me again.

  How did he know that I said that?

  I feel him bend down to my ear. “Did I not mention? I have cameras at yours, Trent’s and Candice’s house. The dirty things those two got up to, it would make you blush.” He laughs, and more tears fall from my eyes.

  I don’t say anything.

  Nothing I say, no matter how much I plead and beg, will make any difference.

  I am using all my inner strength to keep me whole. I feel it breaking but I can’t let him take all my power. I can’t let him have my soul.

  He uses his foot and turns me. I cry out from the pain when I land on my back. I look up at him with blurry eyes and I see him holding a knife.

  “If you try to not scream, I will try and not scar you for life.” He kneels down and starts cutting along my stomach. “I used to love your flawless skin. When I was home, I watched you getting changed, or coming out of the shower. I wanted to lick every inch of you.” He leans down, licking up some of my blood.

  My body shivers.

  “Don’t scream,” he chuckles, and starts cutting along my breasts, my legs, my upper and inner thighs.

  I clamp my mouth shut.

  He wants me to scream, but like hell will I: I want marks on me that I will always remember, to remember him marking my skin.

  “Good girl.”

  Candice

  I use my spare key to get into Winter’s apartment. It's weird being here after everything that has gone down, but I know something isn’t right. No one has heard from her in almost four weeks now. I have gone to the school admissions and someone is emailing them to tell them that Winter is in a bad place, but I know it’s not her.

  Entering Winter’s room, I go to her side draw, grabbing her phone book. I told her so many times that she was lame for having it, but she’d said that if her phone ever broke or died she would have all her numbers on hand. I’m glad of it now.

  I flip through the pages until I find her mom’s number. There’s no answer. Then I spot a post-it that says ‘Mom’ and a number underneath that I dial.

  I pray that she doesn’t hang up on me.

  After a few rings, she answers.

  “Hi Mrs. Daniels. This is Candice, Winters friend,” I say mildly.

  “Oh, hello, sweetie. What a surprise. Is everything okay?” She says in a cheery voice. I guess Winter hasn’t filled her in yet.

  “Yeah, I’m good. How’s you.” I start off with the small talk.

  “I’m brilliant. I needed this cruise so bad. Mr. Daniels and I feel like teenagers again.” She laughs, and I chuckle with her. I knew they were away on holiday; I remember Winter saying ages ago. “How’s Winter?” I definitely know now that Winter isn’t with them.

  “You know how Winter is, study, study, study. I was just seeing when you were back. We all need to have a good catch up.” I look around Winter’s room, and nothing is missing. If you were going somewhere, things would be gone.

  “Still have two weeks. I’d better go. Tell Winter to stop studying so hard and have fun. We will all go for dinner once we are back home.”

  “I will tell her.” We say our goodbyes.

  I stand up opening her draws and cupboards and notice that nothing has been taken. Her weekend bag is still here. I look in her jewelry box and that’s when I know something is definitely wrong. Her grandmother, before she died, gave Winter a snowflake necklace. Winter wouldn’t leave it behind in case anything ever happened to it.

  I walk further into the living room and see a bottle of wine on the coffee table, unopened. I look around some more and something doesn’t feel right. Taking hold of my phone, I message the guys telling them to come here as quickly as possible. I may hate Winter, but I wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to her.

  However, something tells me it already has.

  Winter

  I am sitting on a chair, my front to the backrest, my ankles tied to the legs of the seat, and my wrists tied together in front of me. Tears fall down my cheeks with the feel of the whip hitting my back, but I don’t make a sound.

  He has tried everything to hear me scream, beg, plead, to make any sort of sound, but I don’t. I have numbed myself.

  No one is looking for me.

  I have been here for weeks and not one person has come anywhere near this room.

  Thoughts of Drake, Trent, and Joshua enter my mind, wondering what they are doing.

  Are they thinking about me?

  I know I am stuck here for a while as my parents are away on a cruise and even when they are back, they won’t think anything bad has happened as I don’t call them as much as I should.

  I look down at my body and I hardly recognize it.

  He hits me again. I feel his erection press against my back, but I don’t move away or show my disgust for him.

  He has tried to fuck me, but I blank out, I just lie there like a corpse and he can’t get it up.

  It’s my fear that turns him on.

  He knows that the Winter he always wanted and lusted after has been replaced by this skinny, ugly-looking girl. My breasts have shrunk. My bones are more defined against my skin. I can’t see myself but I know I don’t look attractive anymore.

  Feeling another sting, I scrunch up my face for a second, trying to think about the outside world.

  “My dirty whore,” he whispers.

  I hear him grunting and moaning and then feel his warm liquid slide down my back. I still don’t move.

  “Beautiful. Think you earned this.” He unties me and hands me a pack of baby wipes. This is a treat. If he is happy with me, he gives me something useful.

  I bow my head in gratitude. He looks at me angrily for a moment hating that again I haven’t spoken a word.

  I wobble over to the far wall, and taking out the wipes, I start wiping my face. I use each wipe to wipe another part of my body.

  He leaves me alone once again, locking the door behind him. I have tried to open it in the past, but it doesn’t budge and I won’t fit through the tiny window.

  I grab hold of all the furniture and pile them on top of each other. Climbing up, I look outside; it’s the only real pleasure I do get. I see bushes in front of me. I smiled once when I saw a rabbit hop by.
This is the only glimpse I get of the outside world. I stay there until my body feels too weak to stay. I move everything back in its place and go back to my spot near the wall.

  I hug myself as I close my eyes, getting some sleep.

  Nineteen

  Trent

  “How the fuck did you get in here?” I shout at Candice. Of all things, she sneaks into Winter’s home.

  “She probably brought us all here for some sort of gang bang,” Joshua says, crossing his arms.

  “Yes, I want to fuck you all at the same time in Winter’s home,” she says sarcastically. “I think something is wrong with Winter.”

  That I am surprised about.

  “Why do you suddenly care about Winter? You haven’t in the past,” Drake says, sitting on the couch.

  “I may feel jealous of her, but I wouldn’t want any serious harm to come to her. I’m not that much of a bitch. Joshua showed me his text from her, saying she’s at her mom’s, but I remember her telling me ages ago that her parents were going on this cruise; I found the number in her book for their room on the cruise and she isn’t with them.”

  “Maybe she is at home by herself.” Drake shrugs.

  I knew something was wrong; I felt it in my gut. “Has anyone heard from her?” I ask, looking at each person. They all shake their heads. “Right I’m going to call her.” I take out my phone and call her number, but it just rings before going to voicemail. I do this a few times but there’s nothing. “She’s not answering. I’ll leave her a message to see if she’s okay.”

  Candice quickly takes my phone from my hands. “You need to mention her mom. If she says she’s with her then it's not her. Winter doesn’t lie. Even if she’s pissed at you, she will tell you how it is.”

  I watch her write out a message.

  “So what you trying to say? Someone took Winter and is messaging people on her behalf?” Drake tries to joke.