Entrusted: A Drug of Desire Novel

by Sidney Bristol

  “I…didn’t know. I’m sorry.”

  They stared at each other, Raven stroking Níłch’i’s fur.

  “What—happened?” she asked finally.

  “When?”

  “Since I last saw you?”

  He took a deep breath. It was a blur, and he’d had to fight tooth and nail for his resignation to stick. Eddie had led a campaign to keep him in the DEA, but Matías was done with it all.

  “I spent a few days in the hospital, then checked myself out.”

  “Then what? Where were you? I sat in a damn room for seven fucking days with no idea what had happened to you.”

  “Can we go inside?” He glanced at her neighbors, who’d shamelessly stuck their heads out of their trailer door to listen.

  She sighed and spun, her footsteps heavy thuds on the thin floor. He stepped into the trailer behind her, liking the inside even less. It was probably a third-or fourth-hand home, and the wear shone through on every surface. She deserved better than this.

  “Are you here to give me some line?” Raven was hurt, and he got it. But he hadn’t been able to go to her. Not when he couldn’t stay with her. There’d been so much to wrap up.

  “No line.” He pressed his palms to his legs to keep from reaching for her.

  “Why are you here?”

  “I had to bring Níłch’i to you and I wanted to see you.”

  “You couldn’t see me while I was probably next door?”

  “They were keeping you at a facility in El Paso. They took me to D.C. They wouldn’t let me contact you.”

  “Then why are you here now?”

  “They don’t pull my strings anymore.”

  “That’s nice.”

  He wanted to shake her, hug her, fuck her, probably even strangle her—but only if she was into that.

  “I put Hokee’s supplier out of business,” he blurted.

  Raven stared at him, her eyes growing wide.

  He took a deep breath and kicked himself. A hundred things had happened since that moment in Colombia when he’d lost consciousness.

  “When I woke up in D.C. and they said you were back in Texas, I was pissed. I wanted you there. It’s because of you I got out of there alive, and then the bullshit started. They did everything they could to keep me in the DEA, but I wanted out. We made a compromise. I did three buy busts, and they turned a blind eye while I went after the guy Hokee has been buying from. He can’t traffic anymore because he doesn’t have a supplier. I didn’t turn him in. He’s your family, but I wasn’t going to sit back, knowing what he’s done to you and your dad. I…had to do it before I saw you again.”

  Raven just kept staring at him.

  “Look, I know being in the field like we were can intensify things, make you feel how you wouldn’t otherwise feel, but—”

  “What the fuck are you saying?”

  She had a magical way with words. God, he’d missed her mouth and the way she got right to the point. She put Níłch’i down, facing him fully.

  He grinned.

  “I’m just saying—”

  “I love you. Fuck what you think, what your bullshit logic says, I love you and you didn’t come back for me.” Her chin jutted forward and tears shone in her eyes. “I came back for you.”

  He opened and closed his mouth, torn between elation and guilt.

  She loved him.

  She loved him, and she was right—he hadn’t gone back for her immediately. Because he couldn’t. He had to tie up the loose ends, for them.

  “I know, and I’m sorry.” He reached for her but she took a step back so he let his hands drop to his sides once more. “I knew that if I came to you, I wouldn’t leave. Not unless you beat me back, and I didn’t want you to be worried about Hokee or anything. I wanted it to be us.” He edged closer, and this time she didn’t retreat from him. Not that there was anywhere else to go. They were almost into the cramped bedroom that took up the back of the trailer.

  Matías cupped her face, the tension inside easing as her silky hair swept over his knuckles. She still glared at him, but her body was softening, yielding to him. He could handle her anger, deserved it. In hindsight, he hadn’t made the best choices, but he’d been thinking of her.

  “You didn’t come for me,” she said again.

  “Yes, I did. I went to New Mexico because I thought you’d be there, but you weren’t. I was there, so I followed Hokee back to his source, took care of that and then went looking for you again. I’m here now.” He rested his forehead against hers. Parts of his body weren’t healed yet, there were more scars to add to his collection, but the only ache he cared about was the one deep in his chest.

  She’d said she loved him.

  “I waited a week. I didn’t know what to do anymore,” she said.

  There were a hundred red tape reasons, but they didn’t matter. She curled around him, putting her head on his shoulder and wrapping her arms around him. He’d take her anger, so long as she gave him her love.

  “You did exactly what you needed to do. I’m sorry it took me so long to find you. I wanted to be with you, but I couldn’t get out. They weren’t very happy I insisted on leaving, but I kept telling them there was this woman I had to see, that I loved her and it was time to be with her.”

  She lifted her head from his shoulder and stared at him. He’d violated a sense of trust, but he’d earn it back, even if he had to spend a year proving to her in every little way he could think of that he’d always come for her.

  Raven opened her mouth and closed it.

  “See, I wasn’t trying to tell you that what you felt was wrong. I was going to tell you it made me realize that I loved you sooner. It’s hard to not love a woman who would take on a whole cartel for you.”

  Raven’s mouth was dry, and her fingers tingled. Her heart, which had forgotten how to beat, pulsed once more in her chest. She’d forgotten what it was like to feel. In the last couple of weeks, she’d grown numb, dry like the land she’d left behind.

  She took a deep breath, not sure what to do or say.

  “What now?” she asked.

  Matías chuckled. A smile stretched across his face, more relaxed and at ease than he’d been when she first met him. God, she’d missed him so bad.

  “What do you want to happen?” he asked.

  “I…don’t know.” She cringed and glanced around the trailer. “I don’t have a lot. I mean, I’m living here with my dad.”

  “Do you want to go somewhere else?”

  “It’s not that easy.” When they’d been on the run, it was easy to ignore the differences in their lifestyles, but now the reality slapped her hard.

  “It can be.” He leaned against the stove, his hands on her hips. “I’ve spent the last twenty years working. What if we take a vacation? Nothing fancy, maybe just hop on the road and head to El Paso for a week or two. We can figure it out. Besides, I’m jobless now. I’ve got to find work. Think you could be a character reference?”

  “Don’t be an ass.” Yet he made her smile, and here she’d set out to wipe the frown off his face.

  “Fine. The facts? I have enough saved up so we could both live comfortably for a few years. Now, do I expect to do that? No, but I want the chance to explore this. I’m also not stupid enough to suggest you live off me.” He lifted his hand and ran his fingers through her hair.

  “Well, what do you know? He’s pretty and smart.” She took another deep breath, and this time it came easier. There wasn’t anything holding her here. Her dad had plans to go to Oklahoma and live with some cousins. She stared deeply into Matías’ eyes and felt a wholeness she’d never experienced before. “I want to be with you. I don’t know what that will mean or where we’ll go, but I’m not happy without you.”

  “It’ll be whatever we make it.” He picked up her hand and went to kiss it, but she pulled it back.

  “I’m filthy.” She hadn’t had a chance to shower or clean up since her last job.

  Matías leaned o
ver and turned on the faucet. The pump began humming, churning out the water. He took her hands and ran them under the tap, while her heart rose into her throat.

  He didn’t know what he was doing, and it wasn’t really the same thing, but…he was washing her hands.

  “What’s wrong?” Matías paused, their hands still under the water.

  She blinked away an unexpected tear and cleared her throat.

  “A part of the Navajo wedding ceremony involves the couple washing each other’s hands. It’s…a symbol, a promise to help each other.” Her cheeks grew warm. It was probably silly to bring that up. Things between them were already moving so fast, but she couldn’t shake the parallels.

  “It’s beautiful.” He continued to massage her hands, working the dirt out of the creases of her fingers while glancing up at her every few seconds. “What happens next?”

  “Usually, the bride washes the groom’s hands first.”

  “You will always come first.” He said it with such certainty, as if it were a fact of life, she couldn’t find fault in his answer.

  She took a deep breath and grasped his hands, turning them so the water fell on his knuckles. Slowly, she went through the motions of washing him. It was just tap water, and they were in a filthy, second-hand trailer, but the act nearly brought tears to her eyes. He’d almost died, and yet, he’d taken care of not only her, but her family. He really had come for her.

  Matías lifted an arm and brought her to stand in front of him in the safety of his embrace. She spent several moments tracing the lines of his hands, noting the differences and similarities.

  Finally, he turned the water off and kissed her temple. He dug something out of his pocket and held it up in front of her. It was a silver cuff with a few turquoise stones set into it. Simple and elegant.

  “I wasn’t sure you were ready, but, what the hell? You don’t seem like the jewelry type, but I’m hoping you’ll make an allowance for this.” He spoke in a rush, as if he were trying to get it all out at once. “In BDSM, people have symbols of their relationship. A lot of people use collars, but…that doesn’t seem right for us. I got this on my way out of New Mexico, and…I don’t know. It just seemed like you.”

  She took the cuff in her hand and turned it in the fading light. As she rolled it in her hand, she saw an engraving on the inside.

  Good girl.

  Two words that made her melt.

  Raven turned to face him. She’d done her homework, now that she wasn’t running for her life, and she knew a bit more about his kink world.

  “So what you’re asking is, will I accept your ownership?” she asked.

  “I don’t want to own you, but I want to be the only one making love to you, marking your body and the only one who calls you his good girl.”

  “I don’t have anything to give you.”

  He leaned in close until their lips almost touched. “All I need is you.”

  “Put it on me.” She pressed the bracelet into his hand.

  Matías took the silver cuff and her right hand. He slipped it around her wrist. It was light, and fit her well, but more than anything else, it was his gift to her.

  “I’ll have to give you something to keep the other little subbies away.” She grabbed the neckline of his T-shirt and pulled it aside. Before he could stop her, she bit his shoulder.

  He hissed and dug his fingers into her ass, hoisting her up onto the counter. He slid one hand up under her clothes to grasp her breast. In an instant, her panties were damp and her nipples chaffed against her bra. She wanted him, but now was not the time.

  “No, Matías, stop!” She laughed and jerked her shirt down. “My dad will be here any second.”

  “Fuck.” He growled and stepped back, nearly tripping on Níłch’i. He stooped and picked up the dog with one hand and grabbed her wrist with the other.

  “What are you doing?” She laughed as he hauled her out of the trailer.

  “We’re going into town and getting a hotel room. Now.”

  She couldn’t argue with him, didn’t want to. Wherever he went, whatever name he called himself, he was her Sir, and she would be by his side.

  Dear Readers,

  This book has taken a long time and a whole team of people to make happen. To those who have stuck through it with me, cheered it on, thank you. From the bottom of my heart. I wouldn’t be here without you.

  Sid

  Book List

  Aegis Group

  Dangerous Attraction

  Dangerous in Training

  Dangerous Games

  Dangerous Attraction

  Dangerous Protector

  Twisted Royals

  Alpha Prince

  Her Prince

  Reckless Prince

  Hot Rides

  Drive

  Shift

  Chase

  Bayou Bound

  Picture Her Bound

  Duty Bound

  Bound Memories

  Bound & Tamed

  Other BDSM Titles

  Committed

  Bound with Pearls

  Collar Me in Paris

  Festive Seduction

  Electric Engagement

  So Inked

  Under His Skin

  The Harder He Falls

  His Marriage Bargain

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  It can never be said that NYT & USA Today Bestselling author Sidney Bristol has had a ‘normal’ life. She is a recovering roller derby queen, former missionary, and tattoo addict. She grew up in a motor-home on the US highways (with an occasional jaunt into Canada and Mexico), traveling the rodeo circuit with her parents. Sidney has lived abroad in both Russia and Thailand, working with children and teenagers. She now lives in Texas where she splits her time between a job she loves, writing, reading and fostering cats.

  Sidney is represented by Nicole Resciniti of the Seymour Agency.

  You can find Sidney here:

  Website: www.SidneyBristol.com

  Twitter: @Sidney_Bristol

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  Copyright © 2017 by Sidney Bristol.

  Cover design by Charity Hendry.

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher, addressed “Attention: Permissions Coordinator,” at the address below.

  Sidney Bristol | Inked Press

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  Publisher’s Note: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are a product of the author’s imagination. Locales and public names are sometimes used for atmospheric purposes. Any resemblance to actual people, living or dead, or to businesses, companies, events, institutions, or locales is completely coincidental.

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  Entrusted by Sidney Bristol -- 1st ed.