The Book of the Shadow

by Carrie Asai

  We drove into the downtown section of L.A. It was completely dead down here—much worse than it ever was during the day. I took short, nervous breaths. It felt like I was driving to my own execution. I squeezed my eyes shut, and although I tried to put him out of my mind, I kept seeing Ohiko floating above me. Where was he now? What was he doing? According to the Shinto religion, after death every person becomes a kami, a supernatural being who continues to have a part in the life of the community, nation, and family. Good individuals become good and beneficial kamis; the bad become pernicious ones. Was that what was happening to Ohiko? Was he a good person—meaning he would become a good kami?

  Yes. I thought he would.

  There were some sects that believed in reincarnation as well. What if Ohiko were reincarnated as something?

  How would I know it was him?

  We turned onto the familiar street and rolled up to the familiar corner. I could see a car parked at the edge of the lot. I drew in my breath. The windows were tinted—was Karen in there? Was Teddy in the car, too? Another car was parked a little farther back, next to the garage. I could see the driver staring at us as Hiro slowed to a stop.

  “Remember,” Hiro whispered. “Keep a clear head. Do not let fear take over your mind. Keep calm, dash in quickly. Stall them. Wait for me. I’ll come in as soon as I can.”

  I swallowed painfully. “Uh-huh,” I said. One of the men was walking toward us. He motioned to Hiro to roll down the window. Hiro did.

  The man stuck his large, round face in the window and looked right at me. I stared straight ahead. Hiro didn’t say anything. Finally the man seemed satisfied. “All right,” he said. “Pull in there.” He motioned to the garage at the far end of the lot. The door was open.

  The instructions given over the phone said that Hiro should pull into the garage, I should step out, Karen would quickly get into the back of our car, and then Hiro would back out quickly. The whole transaction, I knew, would happen mostly in darkness. I was sure they didn’t want to do anything as stupid as give away their identities and allow Hiro to get a good view of who they were. The man who was flagging us over to the garage wore an enormous overcoat and one of those ski caps that camouflages your nose and mouth. Only his two round eyes poked through. I shivered.

  Hiro steadily rolled into the garage. Only a thin stripe of light lit it from the inside. A car waited in there; I didn’t know how many men were inside.

  He touched my knee. I jumped. “Calm down,” he whispered. “You can do this.”

  At that moment the door of the other car opened. In the dim light I could just make out Karen—blindfolded—tentatively struggling to get out of the car. Someone shoved her from the back and she stumbled, holding out her arms for something to grab onto. Ski mask man grabbed her and walked her over to our car. He opened my door.

  Hiro made a little noise. Karen looked dirty and completely disoriented. My heart swam around in a circle. What if Hiro got so caught up with tending to Karen, he forgot about me? What kind of stupid plan had I gotten myself into?

  “Step out,” ski mask told me.

  I didn’t look at Hiro. Center yourself, I thought. I felt my shoes step onto the cold ground. Ski mask guy led me away from the car and shoved Karen in, all in one movement. Holding my wrist, he said to Hiro, “Keep her blindfolded until you leave. Pull out now.”

  Hiro pressed his foot on the gas and backed out of the garage. Karen’s mouth didn’t move. I could see, though, that she was trembling a little. I wondered what she had been through in the past three days. Whatever it was, that was what waited for me if I wasn’t able to fight my way out of this. I shivered. The headlights backed up farther and farther until they were at the edge of the lot.

  Then ski mask guy walked over to the garage door, dragging me with him. With one swoop, he grabbed the top of the door and slid it closed.

  It crashed angrily. Complete darkness surrounded us. No link to the outside. The door sounded heavy.

  My eyes struggled to adjust to the startling darkness. That hadn’t exactly been in our plans. I didn’t know how many of them were in the room, but I could sense more than one. Only a small flickering light shone from the corner; I could see the outlines of more men in the distance.

  This is it, I told myself. This is it.

  15

  Okay, Heaven. Settle down. You can do this.

  Ski mask guy led me by the wrist farther into the garage. I snuck a peek to the door—it was shut tight. I wondered what Hiro was doing out there. Where had he driven? Was he talking to Karen? Was there a way for him to get in? Or was I on my own?

  I turned my head forward again. My eyes had finally adjusted to the minimal light. At the back of the garage six men stood with their arms crossed. But no Teddy. There was a chair in the middle of them. One of them, in a quilted down vest, was smiling.

  “Hello, Heaven Kogo,” he said. “We’ve been waiting for you. We have some questions. And congratulations—we hear you’ll be getting married.” Beyond the chair I could see a small car with the door open. Did they expect me to go inside? And where was Teddy? I didn’t see him anywhere. Did that mean he wasn’t part of this…operation?

  I didn’t make a noise. I realized it was definitely the Yukemura gumi that surrounded me. One of the men had an elaborate tattoo on his wrist and was missing a finger. I remembered him now from the engagement party with the city-themed rooms. I had been standing with Teddy as we were being photographed for the press, and he’d waited off to the side, ready to grab Teddy and go outside and probably get high or something. “She’s quite a tasty morsel,” he’d said as Teddy had walked over to him, looking me over inch by inch. “I bet she’ll be a tiger.” I scowled. I hadn’t had to ask how he meant that.

  Now, as he stared at me, his lips curled. His muscles pulsed. His legs looked like they could crush someone. His feet were made for kicking. I wondered if any of the men were carrying weapons.

  I recognized another guy from the wedding—he had his hair slicked back and coiled in a long braid and had enormous hands. When I’d walked up the aisle, I’d fixated on him, thinking, The people the Yukemuras invited are such freaks.

  Calm down, Heaven. I knew that if I dwelled on any of this too much, I wouldn’t be able to go through with the plan Hiro and I had worked out. Think positive. You are strong.

  I heard a small rattle from the garage door. Hiro! Was he trying to get in? The rattle sounded again. Could he be back so soon? Or was that just the wind? But even the sound of it lifted my spirits. I could do this. I had to stall them. I had to try.

  Ski mask led me closer to the men. “Sit down,” one said. “We just want to talk with you.” My heart hammered so loudly, I was certain that all of them could hear it. The odor of cigars was stifling. I thought of Hiro outside, trying to lift the garage door.

  Why did I not see Teddy among the bunch? I wondered what that could mean.

  Ski mask shoved me into the chair. “Sit,” he said. He shoved me so hard that I stumbled. My hand scraped against the hard concrete floor. Some of the men laughed. Silly clumsy girl, I knew they were thinking.

  Do it now, I told myself. Do it now.

  I snapped into action. I did a wrist roll to free myself, and I gave ski mask guy a solid kick to his stomach. It wasn’t very strong, but he was so taken by surprise that he didn’t have time to put up his defenses. I used my shoulder to hit his chest. He fell, slamming into the chair they wanted me to sit on.

  I rushed over to the wall and felt around for the Whisper. The shadows were even deeper than those Hiro and I had practiced in. I had memorized them. I knew them well. With the Whisper firmly in my hand, I twirled it around so they wouldn’t be able to snatch it from my grasp.

  The men stepped back when they saw the katana. “What the…,” the biggest one sputtered. I guessed Teddy hadn’t told them that I might try an attack. Amazing. My brain stopped on this for a moment: Why hadn’t he? Was it a trick? But I quickly moved past it. I had t
o think action now. Not about Teddy. Not about anything.

  The yakuza were ready, however. One of the men drew a knife. He rolled toward me quickly, angrily, ready to silence me once and for all. I could see the look on his face—She got lucky, but she’s not going to get out of here without coming with us. I managed to slide into a shadow and elude him. He went crashing into a wall. The knife slipped from his grasp, dropping almost at my feet. I quickly grabbed it and shoved it into my pocket.

  Another man careened toward me. There was someone at my back. I swirled and kicked. I managed to land a blow on someone’s shoulder. One of them hit me on my side, but I managed not to fall. Concentrate, I told myself. You’re doing this. You’re smarter than them!

  I could only see the task at hand. I knew that I had to employ the method Hiro and I had spoken about—using the shadows to dance in and out of. Using them to pit one of the attackers against the other. The man I’d hit first struggled to get up. Another rushed toward me. They were all ready in case one fell. I could tell they were all thinking, This is ridiculous. This girl is small. She is no match.

  When the man rushing toward me was inches away, I found the shadow I needed. I quickly moved to the side. But not quickly enough. The guy moved, too, and rammed right into me. The second one lunged at me from the side. I gasped and nearly bit my tongue off. The two of them sandwiched me together, pulling and scraping and kicking and trying to tie me up in a knot. The Whisper screeched desperately out of my hand, sliding across the room with an angry wail.

  One of the men took hold of me strongly while the other raced for the katana. He held me by my shoulders and tried to pick me up to flip me. I held his waist. We struggled in a strange dance for a few minutes. His hands dug into my skin. His knees beat relentlessly into my torso. I could see the others rushing toward me as well, hoping to form a pileup with Heaven in the middle.

  “We don’t want to hurt you,” the guy whispered to me sinisterly. “We just want to talk to you. If you just let go peacefully, no one will get hurt.”

  Something in his voice told me not to believe him. I choked and gasped for air. Is this it? Where is Hiro? The man grunted and writhed and lifted me up. I saw, from above, my feet dangling in the air. I tried to pummel his chest. I did not want to be flipped—if I was, I would be knocked out for sure. I couldn’t imagine the impact of him throwing me on the concrete. His arms around me felt like steel girders. He wrenched at my waist and squeezed. It felt like all my organs were being crushed. I desperately tried to kick and claw at him, using all of my body parts, but they were like feathers hitting him. He didn’t even flinch. Instead he continued to squeeze me, holding my arm back from its socket, almost ready to break it, trying to lift me farther off the ground so he could throw me over to the other side of the room.

  I could not be flipped. I could possibly pass out and then they would throw me into the car and take me where I needed to go. Or worse, they could kill me. What did they care? Yes, they needed Teddy and me to get married, but these men were ruthless.

  I could no longer breathe. The other men came up to my side and began hitting me from all angles. I tried to bury my face in the man’s chest. The pain was so extreme that some sort of survival mechanism kicked in—I actually began to feel nothing. In that moment I found myself drifting off, almost, losing consciousness. I looked around the room, ready to accept my fate. A strange calmness washed over me. And in that moment, a miraculous thing happened.

  I saw Ohiko.

  I saw him standing at the corner of the garage, his arms crossed against his chest. A strange light surrounded him, illuminating just his body, coming from some ethereal outside source. He held a sword like the Whisper at his side. He stared right at me, with a benevolent, relaxed look.

  “Ohiko!” I screamed. I don’t know if I actually screamed it out loud or not.

  Ohiko stared at me and held the sword up in my direction. He stared at me for a very long time, silent. But above the din of the angry men pulling the life from me, I heard him speak. “Heaven,” he said calmly. “You must help yourself.”

  “What do you mean?” I screamed.

  “You have all the strength inside you to help yourself,” Ohiko said calmly. “I will be watching. I know you can.”

  I looked for him in the next moment and couldn’t see him. Where had he gone? I felt like I’d lost him once again.

  I was jerked back to consciousness and drowning in pain. But then suddenly the wind shifted. It was like a golden light had descended upon me. My arms and legs began to move. My knees began to connect. Even my head became a weapon. I butted the guy’s chest and used my fingers to drill into his solar plexus. He backed up in pain. I found my window. I managed to wrench myself free, then grabbed him around his middle and flipped him myself. It was as excruciating and terrible as when I’d flipped the other guy, but I managed to send him crashing to his back. Dust rose from the garage floor. A terrible rattling shook the rafters. The others backed away in surprise.

  Ohiko said I had to help myself. That I had the strength inside me. I glared at the shadows and suddenly it all became clear. The swiftness, the lightness. I was focused. The next man ran toward me, even angrier than before. I found the shadow and this time conquered it. I slid in quickly, stealthily, and the man crashed into the wall. The next one raced toward me, yelling. I positioned myself near the man who’d just hit the wall and the second attacker changed direction. At the last second I found the shadow again. The second guy sprawled into the first. They both landed spread-eagled in a massive pile on the floor. I could hear gasping and wheezing from one of them—he must have had the wind knocked out of him.

  I couldn’t believe it. It was working. My plan was working.

  The next man—I realized it the same guy who’d led us in—had found the Whisper at the other end of the room. He advanced toward me, waving it around dangerously. I dodged and weaved, trying to find the proper shadow. I moved around the room quickly—perhaps I would tire him out a little. Out of the corner of my eye I saw one of the other guys rushing up from behind. Ski mask loomed before me. I desperately searched for a shadow and found one. I held my breath and for a moment stood very still. The two men ran for me at once, ski mask with the Whisper blazing and the other guy with his meaty arms outstretched, ready to cut off my circulation. I clenched my jaw and at the last possible moment ducked, rolled, and disappeared into the shadow. For one slim second, I was invisible.

  Crash. Body hit body in a thunderous clash of bone meeting bone, muscle smashing up against muscle. I could hear the strange conk of two heads knocking against each other. Like two dominoes, they fell down, one on top of the other. I stood in my shadowy corner and gaped.

  I saw the glint of my katana in ski mask’s hands. He still clutched it, even having fallen. I quickly dashed over to him and stood on his hand and moved my foot around, as if I was stamping out a cigarette. I could feel the bones in his fingers. It worked. He wailed in pain and released his grasp. I grabbed the Whisper and went back to my shadowy corner.

  The other guy, who had fallen on top of ski mask, struggled to get up quickly. He got to his knees and saw me, flaring his nostrils like a bull. I slid out of my shadow and managed to give him a quick cut to his side. He screamed and collapsed back down. I knew that if I hadn’t found my shadow, I could have been at the bottom of that pile. Or worse. I scanned the wreckage in the garage. The two guys who had run into the wall were groaning and getting to their feet.

  Suddenly I heard a noise at the end of the garage. The rattling was back. All at once I saw a flood of lights from the street and the garage door was open. Hiro’s silhouette was backlit by the yellow streetlights. He stood in the ready position. His arms flexed. He saw me and nodded. I knew not to say anything. The attackers were so dazed, many of them didn’t even look in the direction of the door as Hiro walked in. The two that I hadn’t hurt yet rushed toward Hiro. “Get out of here!” they rumbled.

  I wanted to run to Hiro a
nd throw my arms around him. I wanted to kiss him just as passionately as I had in my dream and bury my head in his chest. But we had a job to do. I left him to his. I held up my sword and tended to mine.

  Hiro quickly gave one a blow to the shoulder and the next a kick in the face. He spun and moved economically, beautifully. I knew we should move into our fighting plans that we’d devised the other day. I would elude them by bobbing into the shadows; Hiro, the stronger fighter, would take them to the ground with one of his powerful kicks.

  I rushed over to the space in the wall to find the second hidden katana. With a glance in Hiro’s direction, I caught his eye. He saw the glint of the metal; I threw it over to him. It arced gracefully in the sky and fell neatly into Hiro’s hands.

  Everyone was back on their feet now. Hiro twirled and spun. The attackers were confused about who to go after. Hiro and I stood close together, saying nothing, simply and silently trying to fight them down. I twirled around and around, ducking, rolling, stealthily forcing the attackers closer and closer to the shadows. Hiro followed. Eventually, when they would take a swing at me, I would collapse into the shadow and Hiro would slice them on the shoulder, leg, arm with the katana.

  I thought of nothing else except where my attackers would try to strike me. It was like finally getting into the swing of swimming—I became efficient, focused, effortless. I knew the battleground and I began to understand the men who were trying to attack us. They were street fighters—brutal, dirty. They just wanted to get us in a body hold and then bring us down. They were slow and often swung for our faces. It just took some strategically placed ducks to send them off balance. One of the men swung at me. I crouched. His whole power settled into the swing; when it didn’t connect, he became confused. And in that second of confusion, Hiro pounced.