by J. L. Drake
“Garrett?” I slipped to the verge of panic.
He rubbed his hands down my arms. “You need a drink?”
“Do I need one?” My eyes narrowed on his, desperately trying to read him. “Garrett?” My tone came out harsh.
Seth came through the door at that moment, so I backed off.
“Connors!” Johnnie yelled out and raised his beer to him. Seth smiled and patted his back. Garrett backed away from me.
“Hi, Jenny, trust you had a nice day.” Seth smiled in her direction. She waved and granted him her million-dollar smile. He turned and went over to the bar to order a drink. Vanessa glanced at me with sad eyes. I forced a pleasant expression, but I knew she saw right through it.
“So, Jenny, what’s this gala you mentioned?” Riggs asked.
“Well.” She shifted in her seat. She loved that everyone was interested. “Doctors Without Borders has been chosen as the main recipient for the annual fundraiser this year. Since I’ve been an active community member over the past twenty years, they asked me to be a guest speaker. I was thrilled. How could I refuse?” She glanced at me. “Plus, I get to see how Emily is doing with her school work, though I’m sure she’s doing fine. It shouldn’t be much of a challenge to get a teaching degree. I had hoped she would go into medicine.” She looked pointedly at me.
My grip tightened on my glass and my eyes started to water. I knew I had disappointed her in so many ways, starting with being born. She had made that very clear to me as I grew up. At least I knew my father loved me, no matter what.
“I enjoy the idea of teaching, Mother,” I hissed. “There’s nothing wrong with that.”
She tossed her hair over her shoulder. “No, I guess not, even though you’ll only make peanuts for a living. That’s not an attractive quality in a woman, honey.” She motioned her head toward Seth.
My chest started to feel tight, and I took a big sip of my martini. Vanessa reached over the table and touched my hand gently. She was such a sweetheart. I swallowed hard. “Thanks,” I mouthed.
Seth came back to the table. He sat next to me, but barely made eye contact.
“I would rather live in a shack and be happy, Mother, than live in a mansion and hate what I do every day. If a man doesn’t like that quality in me, then I don’t want him.” I paused. “I do quite fine on my own, anyway.” I sensed Seth tense, but I pretended not to notice.
“Lord, you’re one stubborn young woman, Emily,” she rubbed her temples as if she were annoyed. I caught Garrett’s smirk to Seth. “How do you deal with her?” she asked the table. I rolled my eyes.
“Heart of gold,” Campbell said in my defense. “She’s part of our family here.” He winked at me and gave Vanessa a kiss on her head.
“Thank you,” I mouthed to them both.
“Well, better you than me,” Mother tried to joke. I let out a puff of air. Man, this woman couldn’t say anything nice about her own daughter! “So, Johnnie, do tell me more about your day.”
Between my mother’s constant jabs and Seth’s coldness, I didn’t think I was going to make it through the night. I excused myself and went to the bathroom, pretending not to hear the protests to take someone with me. I pulled out my phone and called Pete.
“Hello, love,” he answered on the second ring.
I paused to hold it together. “Mom’s back,” I blurted out.
“Where are you?”
“I’m at the Triangle with the guys and her. Pete, she just showed up after how many months? Between her and Seth, I can’t…” I started to sob.
“Be outside in ten minutes.” He hung up.
I slipped past a bunch of girls who entered the pub. I managed to get out the doors without being seen and moved over to the corner of the building. Pete’s Mercedes soon pulled up. I opened the door and hopped in. Before I could say a word, he gave me a huge hug.
“Thank you,” I whispered through the tears.
“Okay.” He held up a hand. “What’s the Queen Bee doing here?”
I let out a long sigh. “There’s a fundraiser for her organization, a gala dinner Sunday, and I have to attend.”
He nodded. “Of course.” He knew Jenny all too well. “Now, what’s going on with Seth?”
I shifted in my seat to turn to face him better, and wiped my constant tears. “It’s odd. He was great, loving, and so attentive ever since I got back. Then three days ago something changed, and now he’s all Officer Connors with me and not my boyfriend. He’s pulling away again.” I ran my fingers along my cheek to clear my steady stream of tears. “I don’t think I can handle this. Between him pulling at my heart strings, and this psychopath, I think I may lose it. I’m barely holding it together. I—”
He grabbed my hand to stop my rant. “We all know Seth keeps everything balled up. Maybe he just needs some time to sort it out? Have you tried asking Garrett?”
I nodded through a shaky breath. “He and Seth are born from the same egg. He wouldn’t ever share something with me if Seth told him not to. Garrett gives me hints, but not much more. They have such a strong friendship.” I ran my hands through my hair and flopped my head back. “I’m emotionally drained.”
“I bet.” He squeezed my hand. “Em, I know you get asked this a hundred times a day, but I’m your oldest friend. How are you really doing?”
I looked him right in his eyes and felt like I was dangling on the edge. I couldn’t do it anymore. I burst into tears.
Quickly he leaned over and held me. “Oh, love. Just let it out. No one’s here but me.”
***
Seth
My phone buzzed.
Mom: Will you be home tomorrow for dinner?
I rubbed my sore neck. I hated to decline again, but I just couldn’t deal with all that entailed. It wasn’t just dinner—it was that house. I didn’t like the way it felt anymore. It was cold, even though he wasn’t around as much.
Seth: I’m sorry Mom, I can’t.
Mom: I need to speak with you, honey. Please set some time aside for me.
Asshole. That’s what I was. Emily would kill to have a mother like mine, and all I did was push her away, just like I did with every other woman in my life. I was fucked up inside, put together wrong, missing that “push the shit aside, family is important” gene.
Seth: I’ll call you Friday, maybe lunch?
Mom: Tuesday, at home, dinner 6 p.m. Don’t make me come and get you.
I sucked in a deep breath; I could tell she’d had enough of my bullshit.
Seth: See you then.
Mom: Thank you, honey.
My calendar was pretty full of work stuff, but on a personal level, it was pretty pathetic. Mainly because the only people I wanted to be with, I was with. Speaking of which, where was Emily?
I glanced around the bar a few times. “Garrett?”
“Bathroom,” Riggs called out. He knew what I wanted to know. Everyone knew I watched that woman like she was my next breath—mainly because she was.
Garrett leaned over to Vanessa. “Can you check to see if Em’s all right?”
Vanessa glanced at me. I could see she didn’t like being put on the spot when something was up. I didn’t blame her; I could be scary. “Umm, sure.”
Campbell shot me a look, but didn’t say anything. He knew better. When it came to Emily, especially right now, people knew I had no room for error.
***
Emily
“You know what we haven’t done in a long time?” Pete flashed his excited face.
I dried my face momentarily. “What?”
“Midnight margaritas and ice cream.”
I lightly laughed at his unique taste. We were so much alike it wasn’t even funny. I wasn’t sure I knew anyone else who would like that but us.
I sighed. “It has been a few months.”
I felt my purse buzz. Pete opened it and read the text. He texted back and held my phone up to show me the text.
Emily: This is Pete. She’s with me. I’m
taking her to my place tonight. She needs a break. Tell them I’ll drop her off in the a.m.
“That was Vanessa. The guys wanted to know where you were. I told her I was taking you back to my place.” He set my phone on my lap, then he gently eased out in traffic.
“Let’s make a trip to the store. I was missing you anyway. I could use a little love from my love.” He glanced over at me just as a car lit up his face. “I know this is hard, but we’ll get through it. We all know Jenny doesn’t stick around for long. She does her whole forty-eight hour border crap to secure her citizenship, then heads back to Africa where she’s actually wanted.”
“True,” I hissed. There was always a tiny part of me that hoped one of these times she’d come home to see me. I nearly laughed at that. She didn’t have a place for me in her self-involved life. I was merely a reminder of what she had.
I sank into the seat. The weight of my stress anchored me to the present when all I wanted to do was disappear into the past.
***
Seth
I watched as a nervous Vanessa came back to the table. Her hand touched Campbell’s shoulder as she sat. Shit, this isn’t going to be good.
“Find Emily?” Campbell asked.
I leaned over to watch her carefully. Her neck was strained and she swallowed hard. She was nervous. “Yeah, um, kind of.” She paused and took a deep breath.
“What does that mean?” I snapped.
“Um…it means that she’s with Pete and is spending the night there.” The words rushed out of her mouth.
My face twisted as the anger came. I looked at Garrett, who appeared just as shocked. We let it process for a few moments, but I was friggin’ pissed.
“What the hell is she thinking?” I bit out.
“Well…” Vanessa looked at Jenny, who was at the bar. “I’m guessing she’s not, given what has happened and what’s happening tonight.”
I stared at her and wondered what she knew.
Vanessa took a deep breath. “You clearly needed some space. Why not give her the night too?”
I leaned forward to rest my head on my hands. My stress level was through the roof. I didn’t know how to deal with her and this psychopath.
***
Emily
I curled up in Pete’s gray, fuzzy blanket and propped myself against the wall. He snuggled in next to me. We’d polished off four midnight margaritas and half a pint of ice cream. We talked, laughed, and cried until the wee hours of the morning.
My head bounced on Pete’s stomach as he laughed at my story about my mother coming to the bar. Everything was funny when you added some tequila.
“Can I ask you for a favor?” I strained my neck to see him better.
“Yes, but don’t be offended if I picture you as Matt Bomer.”
I smacked his leg and let out a laugh. Pete had no shame. “When I get older, if I start to wear those three piece suits or those God-awful dresses with scarves, please tell me to knock it off.”
Pete wiped a tear away as his silent laugh made me roll off his stomach. He held his sides and heaved in a deep breath. “First,” he began, trying to regain his composure, “you have me, so that will never happen, and second…” He moved to sit upright, his face changed, and his hand landed on my arm. “You are the polar opposite of Jenny McPhee. Don’t ever try to compare or class yourself next to that woman.” My face fell. He was right; I did. I was just scared of becoming something I despised.
“What if I do that to my child? What if—”
“Em,” he shook his head, “you are ninety-nine percent your father, and the one percent is your mother’s hair color. You have the world’s biggest heart and you share it with everyone. I will be damned if Jenny shreds your self-worth. Don’t ever doubt how wonderful you are.”
I crawled into his side and hugged my best friend. “I love you, Pete.”
“How could you not?” He kissed my head as I rolled my eyes. “I’m just the male version of you.”
“Interesting comparison,” I joked, but he was right. We had a lot in common, and that was why we’d remained friends for so long.
The clock read around five-something when I finally closed my eyes.
***
Seth
I paced the living room as Garrett opened his eyes. He yawned and slowly moved to sit. “What time is it?”
“Nine thirty,” I answered impatiently.
“How long have you been up?”
“Since six.”
Garrett rubbed his face and tried to wake up further. “Have you tried calling her?”
“Yes. Her phone is off.”
“Well, she’s with Pete. You know she’s in good hands. She just needed a break. I get it. Jenny is hard on her.”
“She shouldn’t have left without telling us,” I snapped.
Garrett smirked. I hated that he knew what was really going on in my head. “No, I guess not, but you wouldn’t have let her go, and she knew it.” He drew a lazy breath before he sat upright. “Seth what are you doing? She knows you’re pulling away again. It’s killing her.”
“I’m not!” I snapped again. “I have some things to think about.”
Garrett shook his head. “All you should be thinking is how lucky you are to have gotten her back.” His voice got softer. “She loves you. Don’t fuck this is up, Seth. Don’t push her away again. She may not come back this time.”
“Trust me, that’s been looping around in my brain for some time now.”
“Well, what are you going to do about it?”
I dug my fingers into my scalp and pulled at the roots until it hurt.
“It’s not about us right now, it’s about a crazy fucker trying to take her from me…from us.” Garrett’s eyebrows shot up at my slip. “Look, I can’t do this right now. Can you call her? See if her phone is on. She’ll answer if you do.”
“She’d rather it be you.”
I held up my phone to show him my eight unanswered calls. “I think she’d rather it was you.”
He said something behind me, but I didn’t listen. I need some space to think.
***
Emily
I smiled slightly as Patty handed me a large cup of coffee. “Thanks.” I could feel the warmth from Pete’s mom.
“You look tired, sweetheart.” She clearly noticed my puffy eyes from my cry-fest last night. She sat in her chair.
I shrugged. “Been a crazy few months.”
She gently touched my hand. “I’m so sorry, Emily.” Her eyes filled with tears. Pete must have told her.
I shifted, not comfortable with the emotion in her voice. “I’m all right.”
She wiped a tear away. “You’ve been through so much.”
I cut her off. “But I’m okay. I’m strong, and I can get through this,” I reassured her.
“I know you can, sweetheart. Just know that Mamma Patty is always here for you.”
I reached out and held her hand. “Thank you.”
Pete dropped me off at home around 11:30. I knew the shit storm I was about to walk into was going to be a rough one, but frankly, I didn’t care. I had really needed a night off. I opened the door to find Seth on the stairs and Garrett next to the couch. I slipped off my shoes and kept my head down.
“Red or silver?” Mom asked as she held up two different pairs of shoes at the top of the stairs. She had on a long robe and her hair was wet.
“Red,” I muttered. Nice that she noticed I was home.
“Seth, dear,” Mom looked down at him, “don’t forget to get fitted for your tux. It’s at 4:30.”
He closed his eyes and then turned to her. “I’m sorry, Jenny, but I can’t go tomorrow.”
My heart sank with such sadness. It was too much.
“Oh, no,” she whined. “How am I going to find a date for Emily now?” I pushed past him on the stairs. My mother finally looked at my face. “Have you been crying?” She sounded a little surprised, though I didn’t know why. I heard Seth stand
.
“I’ll get a date for tomorrow night,” I called over my shoulder and headed into my room. I locked my door and stripped off my dress. I pulled on sweats and jumped into bed and snuggled into the comfort of my blankets. I was beyond beat.
I was woken out of a deep sleep by my mother’s voice. “Emily.” I heard a knock at my door. “Emily!” My mother shouted a little louder.
I pulled my blankets over my head. I wasn’t ready to get up yet. I heard a rattle, and then my door opened.
“Thank you, dear.”
I peeked out to see Seth walk back to his room. Traitor.
Note to self, get a better lock.
Mom pulled open my blinds, and then went to turn my shower on. I could see her outline from behind the sheet. I hid like a child.
“Emily Grace McPhee, get your behind out of that bed. Marc will be here soon, and I do not want him to see this.” She waved her hand around dramatically. “I’ll come back in five minutes, and you had better be in that shower!”
I heard the scuffle of her slippers as she headed down the hallway. I tossed the blankets back and dragged myself into the shower.
I dried my hair and slipped on a robe. “Emily.” My mother’s voice shot through me, then it made me jump. I turned to see her next to Marc.
“Emily, you look lovely as always.” He floated over to me. He was a graceful man; my mother had employed him for as long as I could remember. A team of three girls stood in the doorway wearing stylish coats with ‘Marc Roam Co’ embroidered on them.
Marc leaned in and gave me a soft hug and two swift kisses on each check. I got a whiff of his expensive aftershave as he pulled away. He was dressed in a perfectly pressed shirt and dress pants. He stepped back and eyed me. “You have lost some weight.” He raised one eyebrow at his statement.
“Flu.” I shifted uncomfortably.