The Falls

by Cathryn Hein

  ‘Not for me,’ said Penny. ‘I’m going to have some of my special cleanser.’

  Teagan rolled her eyes.

  A roll that only worsened when Penny returned to the verandah with a glass of something oily and alarmingly reminiscent of urine, and several pills of equally unappetising colour. Vanessa admired her sister’s fortitude when a sip of the yellow liquid went down with only a slight wince. Though her admiration faded to concern at the range of vitamins and herbal pills she had lined up. There seemed an awful lot.

  With every pill swallow, Teagan gave another shake of her head, but Vanessa could also tell she was truly worried.

  As Vanessa poured margaritas for Teagan and herself, a car sounded in the driveway. Vanessa hoped it was Lucas arriving for a swim. Anything to distract Teagan and give her a chance to settle before Dom arrived. The temper she was in didn’t bode well for a harmonious cocktail hour.

  Unfortunately, the car turned out to be an aging blue Ford.

  ‘Colin,’ said Vanessa with all the warmth she could muster, ‘how nice to see you.’

  ‘Mrs Ferguson know you’re here, Col?’ asked Teagan, clearly in a combative mood.

  Not looking at Teagan, Col mumbled a ‘no’ and thrust a carton of eggs towards Vanessa.

  ‘Oh, eggs!’ she said, using a delighted smile to hide her surprise at his answer. How fascinating. Col usually never did anything without Kathleen’s imprimatur. ‘You’re such a darling man.’

  ‘Knew you’d like some.’ Col nodded at Penny before returning beady eyes to Vanessa. ‘Any news on Merlin?’

  ‘As far as I’m aware he’s being well cared for.’

  ‘As far as you’re aware?’ Col scratched at his head. ‘So you haven’t visited him?’

  ‘No.’ She slid a look towards Teagan and winked subtly before resettling her expression into deep earnestness. ‘He’s undergoing behaviour-management therapy. It’s best I stay away lest he regresses.’

  Col’s grey eyes turned enormous. ‘Therapy? For a sheep?’

  ‘Yes. Merlin has been a valuable member of the Falls Farm menagerie. I feel he’s worth it.’

  He let out a whistle. ‘You must really like that ram.’

  ‘He’s very special.’ She gave a sad sniff, determined not to look at Teagan who, having at last shed her temper, now had her knees jammed up to her chest and her hand slammed across her mouth, trying not to laugh. ‘He helped me through some difficult times. I’m terribly fond of him.’

  Col patted her arm in sympathy. ‘I’m sure he’ll be allowed back soon.’

  ‘I hope so. This affair is quite distressing.’ She simulated brushing a tear from beneath her left eye. ‘Thank you so much for the eggs. You know how I appreciate them.’ She waved towards Penny’s foul-looking drink. From this angle, the liquid looked even more urine-like. ‘I’d offer you a glass of my new cocktail, but knowing how generous and caring you are, you’re probably in a hurry to get home and help Maggie with dinner.’

  He blinked at the glass, his mouth popping open as Penny raised it to her lips. ‘Yes, right you are. Must dash.’ He gave a wave and headed off.

  The Ford disappeared down the drive and, for the first time since Penny’s arrival home, the three women broke into raucous laughter. Which was how, a few minutes later, Lucas found them.

  Surprised, he grinned in that infectious, radiant way he had. ‘I’m guessing a private girls’ joke. Laughter like that tends to only come at the expense of men.’

  ‘Only one man,’ said Vanessa, delighted to see that Lucas kept most of his attention on Teagan. With her cheeks pink and her smile wide, it was no wonder. When she wasn’t looking anxious or being down on herself, her niece was extraordinarily pretty. ‘And never you.’ She held up her glass. ‘Drink?’

  ‘Thanks.’ He turned to Penny. ‘Look at you. You look great.’

  Penny beamed at the compliment. ‘I feel amazing.’

  ‘You enjoyed yourself then?’

  ‘It was wonderful. You have no idea.’

  ‘Maybe I should book myself a session and find out,’ he said, accepting a tumbler of margarita and groaning a little as he settled into a chair.

  ‘Merlin?’ asked Teagan.

  He shook his head. ‘Horse.’

  ‘They do excellent massages at the centre,’ said Penny, causing Teagan to raise her eyes heavenward as though praying for patience.

  Fortunately Bunny chose that moment to arrive. Pausing only to give a rather startled look and flattering remark to Penny, Bunny let loose on Callum.

  ‘I know who All-dim has onside at the council now. That fucktard Montague.’

  ‘Dom says we don’t need to worry about it,’ said Vanessa. ‘The Companion Animals Act was designed for dogs and cats, not sheep.’

  Bunny remained unconvinced. ‘There’s a provision in the act for “any other animal that is prescribed by the regulations as a companion animal.”’

  ‘But that’s hardly Merlin,’ said Lucas.

  ‘Montague believes there’s a case to be made.’

  Vanessa closed her eyes as she realised what a dunderhead she’d just been. Well, it served her right for being smart and teasing an old man.

  Bunny arched forward in concern. ‘What’s the matter?’

  ‘I am such a fool.’

  ‘Why?’ asked Teagan.

  ‘I was just telling Col what a wonderful friend Merlin has been and how he’s helped me through bad times. If he is spying for Callum, that little piece of intelligence will now go straight to your council fellow.’ Her eyes began to sting. Such a silly thing, but she really was fond of that sheep. And it was so very wrong for him to be a pawn in a vain man’s game. ‘Poor Merlin. All he was doing was what came naturally. I’m so scared for him.’

  Lucas placed his arm around her and squeezed. ‘He’ll be fine. No one’s touching Merlin. They’ll have to come through me first.’

  Out of the corner of her eye, Vanessa glimpsed Teagan take a gulp of margarita and look away. Oh, dear. The last thing any of them needed was Teagan thinking the wrong thing about her and Lucas. Smiling at him gratefully, Vanessa shifted forward to reach for her own drink, forcing Lucas to drop his hold.

  Bunny took over the conversation, but Vanessa could see Teagan’s mood had again soured. She was staring moodily out at the trees, chewing a thumbnail. Vanessa let her be for a moment, considering how best to tackle the problem, then leaned across to whisper to Lucas.

  ‘Time for a swim?’

  Teagan hooked a slither of thumbnail between her front teeth and began to gnaw. It was stupid, this feeling. She hated herself for it, but it lingered like the oil in the bottom of her mum’s glass.

  Her aunt was over fifty, for crying out loud. Lucas was being his usual nice self. They’d known each other a long time. How could she possibly feel jealous? Yet the slimy feeling remained and her head was thick with negative whispers.

  Ness didn’t look her age. She was glamorous and classy and had a figure built for sin. What did Teagan have? A body like a plank, zero sophistication and the unerring ability to constantly make a total twit of herself.

  She tugged at her thumbnail and felt a surge of sick pleasure when the nail tore too far. The sharp pain brought her back into focus. She wished it hadn’t. Conversation had returned to the Wellness Centre.

  ‘Think I’ll go for a swim,’ said Lucas, standing and wincing as he stretched. ‘Might ease the pain in my back.’ He looked at Teagan. ‘Want to come?’

  Teagan contemplated for a moment. It was either stay here and listen to more crap about the efficacy of gallbladder cleanses or join Lucas and the risk of him bringing up the trivia night again.

  ‘Okay,’ she said.

  Lucas was swimming slow laps when Teagan padded out onto the deck in her bikini. She slid into the water and sat in the warmer shallows, admiring his easy stroke. He reached the deep end and stopped. Scraping his hair back from his face, he rested against the wall, one muscled arm raised to gr
ip the pool’s edge, and regarded her.

  ‘What’s up?’

  ‘Nothing.’

  He pushed off the wall and dived down. Teagan watched his body cut through the water until it reached the shallows and he resurfaced. He stayed lying in the water, balanced on his fingertips, head up.

  The sun had dipped enough to sneak under the pool’s protective sail. It caressed his skin, turning him golden and sparkling, and his blue eyes sky bright. Teagan wanted to look away, but he was too mesmerising. And she ached in that awful agonising way that only deep, hopeless want produced.

  ‘You were laughing before, when I arrived.’ He crept closer until he was level with her ankles. ‘Now you seem upset. What’s wrong?’

  ‘It’s nothing.’

  ‘Doesn’t look like it.’ He tilted his head. ‘Is it about Friday night, because —’

  ‘No. It’s not Friday night.’ She breathed out. Friday night was not something she wanted to talk about. Ever. ‘It’s Mum.’

  ‘What about her? She looks great.’

  ‘She does, and I’m not criticising that, but she’s come back with all these wacked-out ideas and drinking some slush that looks like wee. Plus they’ve given her all these weird pills. None of this stuff is regulated. They could have anything in them. And with all that’s happened Mum’s vulnerable right now.’

  He smiled, trying to reassure her. ‘I’m sure they’re harmless.’

  ‘Dad thought his stupid computer program was harmless, too, until it cost us the farm.’

  ‘Come on, Teagan. It’s hardly the same.’

  She shook her head and looked away, biting her lip. Why did she feel on the verge of tears? This was ridiculous.

  ‘Hey.’ He took her hand under the water. ‘What’s really going on?’

  ‘I hate seeing gullible people taken for a ride, Lucas. I hate it.’

  ‘Because you were for so long?’

  ‘Yes, because I was.’ His fingers tightened as her throat caught and the words snagged. ‘And so was Mum, and now she’s being taken on another one, this time with her health. I’m not going to let it happen again. I have to protect her.’

  ‘Look, I’m not in the habit of defending Dom, but I doubt he’d let anything bad happen to your mum. If nothing else, he cares too much about Vanessa for that.’ He pressed a muscled shoulder against hers. ‘You worry too much.’

  Teagan said nothing. He didn’t understand. No one did. It was because of her weakness, her cowardice, that they’d lost so much already.

  ‘I was thinking,’ said Lucas. ‘Do you want to come over to my place for a while? Watch a movie or something?’

  The idea of an evening alone with Lucas made her heartbeat quicken, but what was the point? It would only make her stupid crush worse. Besides, she wouldn’t mind spending some time using Vanessa’s computer to research some of the pills her mum was taking. Just to reassure herself that they weren’t dangerous.

  ‘Thanks, but I’d better stay here. Keep an eye on Mum.’

  ‘She’ll be fine. Vanessa’s with her.’

  ‘I know, but I want to Google some stuff. Check out what Mum’s taking.’

  ‘You can Google on my iPad.’

  ‘It’ll be easier on Ness’s. That way I can show her anything I find straight away.’

  ‘Right,’ said Lucas, sounding pissed off. He released her fingers and rose out of the water like a Norse god to stand looking down at her. Annoyance dripped off him with the pool water.

  Uncomfortable, she tried to make a joke. ‘Not much of a friend, am I?’

  ‘Friday night you wanted to be more than friends.’

  She winced at the mention. Why couldn’t he forget it, leave it alone? ‘That was just drunk talk.’

  ‘Drunk talk,’ said Lucas, staring at her. Then he shook his head as if to clear it. ‘I’ve got to go.’

  ‘Oh. Okay.’

  ‘I need to shift Merlin. He’s too easy to spot where he is.’

  ‘Yes. Of course.’ She sucked in a breath, suddenly wishing she was going with him. So it would hurt, but the thought of not being with him hurt more. Except now it was too late. ‘I’ll see you later?’

  Making a gesture that could have been yes or no, he walked up the pool steps, leaving her alone in shallows that suddenly felt cold.

  Even in the calm sanctuary of Astonville, Lucas couldn’t hold back his exasperation. What the fuck was wrong with Teagan? He’d practically spelled it out. Come home with me. How much clearer did he need to be? Sure, she was upset over Penny. After what her dad did he could sort of understand it, but Penny looked the best she had since she’d arrived at The Falls. Plus she had Vanessa there to keep an eye on things. And okay, so he wasn’t egotistical enough to think he was completely irresistible. But still.

  As for ‘drunk talk’, those two lousy words still stung. It was more than that, he knew it. And so did she, except she was too scared to acknowledge the fact. Why, he had no idea.

  He ran his hand through his hair. Jesus, women were unfathomable.

  Merlin didn’t improve Lucas’s temper. The ram was hell-bent on dislocating his knee. It took all his strength to keep the knuckleheaded creature out of bunting distance as he dragged him to the small paddock behind the forge. It wasn’t ideal. A short wander behind the shed and any visitor would be able to spot the ram through the trees. In a few years the windbreak would be thicker, but for now the trees he’d planted were barely past sapling stage. Lucas hoped Merlin wouldn’t ringbark or flatten them. He’d spent a fortune in water keeping them alive last summer.

  After letting go of the ram’s huge horn, he slid back through the gate and headed for the shed. Disappointment was pumping through his veins and he needed to sweat it out. He pushed the door open and turned on the lights. Soon it would be too dark to work properly, but the thought of going to the house alone didn’t appeal.

  He stalked over to the benchtop and picked up the silver pendant he’d been working on, a new design he’d thought Teagan might like. It was close to finished, the peacock-coloured enamel inlays buffed bright. All that was needed was some work on the silver curlicues and to fit a bale through which a chain could be threaded.

  He turned it over in his fingers, thinking of her. The way she made him feel. Catching her laughing this afternoon was like watching some rare flower come into bloom. She was pretty before, but now that she was starting to put on weight she’d developed a sexiness to go with it. That it was unconscious and almost innocent made it even more powerful. His dreams were full of her in that white bikini. And out of it. Naked, in his bed. Red hair feathered over his pillow, an inviting smile on her face.

  Getting her that way was proving harder than expected.

  He walked to the door and stared down at his house and pergola, and experienced an unexpected jab of loneliness. The place felt barren. No family, no girlfriend. Just his own grumpy company.

  Alone.

  Except that wasn’t quite true. He had a father. A father who wanted to have a relationship with his son. To be mates. The very thing he’d secretly longed for as a boy.

  Lucas sighed and looked around. This was shit. He wasn’t going to mope all night. He pulled his mobile from his pocket and called Dunks.

  An hour later, showered and in clean jeans and a shirt, he was propped on a bar stool at the bowlo drinking beer with Dunks and wondering why he’d thought this was a good idea. His friend was even more of a misery guts than he was.

  ‘Look on the bright side,’ said Lucas. ‘A least you’re getting laid.’

  But Dunks was too broody to see the positives. ‘Why can’t she stay the night? A couple of shags and she’s off home.’

  ‘Maybe she’s worried about how she’ll look in the morning. Maybe she snores.’ He shrugged. ‘You’re asking the wrong bloke if you want to understand how women think. I haven’t a frigging clue.’

  Dunks took a long draught of beer and stared into the dregs. ‘She says she’s too old for me.’
/>
  ‘Seems to be doing a good job of keeping up so far.’

  ‘That’s what I told her. Anyway, I thought women were supposed to reach their peak at fifty.’ He twirled a coaster. ‘It’s not just Bunny. Angela’s being a bitch about it, too.’

  ‘Probably jealous you’re having fun with someone else.’

  ‘She’s threatening to apply for full-time custody.’

  So that was the real problem. No wonder Dunks was upset. ‘She won’t get it. You’re a great dad. No court would stop you from seeing your daughters.’

  ‘Doesn’t matter what the court says. She can make life pretty hard if she wants. The girls are only young. Wouldn’t take much to poison them against me. She bitches enough as it is.’

  ‘That’s so fucking wrong.’

  ‘Tell me something I don’t know.’

  Later that evening at home, feeling disturbed, Lucas pulled out his mum’s old photo albums. Every page was stuffed with pictures of him as a happy boy. At school, at sport, playing in the yard. He flicked through the pages, feeling not just down but pissed off. He’d had a dad. One who said he would have wanted to be in Lucas’s life, and she’d denied him that.

  Lucas paused at a photo of him with his mum. She was crouched beside him, her arm tight around his body, her face turned to his. There was nothing but love in her expression, yet he couldn’t help thinking of the tightness of her hold. As if Lucas was hers and no one else’s. That her son wasn’t for sharing.

  She’d held extraordinary power and abused it just to punish Dom. Yet it was Lucas who’d been punished. Perhaps that’s what she’d seen in the end, when she was close to dying. That she would be leaving Lucas with nothing, only the memory of her.

  He shut the album and stared at the cover for a long while.

  It wouldn’t be easy, but maybe it was about time he started learning about his father.

  Thanks to her ongoing idiocy, Teagan was in a gloom. Even Diablo affectionately snuffling his velvety muzzle through her hair didn’t cheer her up.

  Saturday and Sunday had passed with no visit from Lucas, when he usually poked his head in at the farm at least once over a weekend. Her own fault. She should have told the truth about her feelings instead of relying on the drunk defence, but watching Lucas put his arm around her aunt had brought on a bout of self-doubt and jealousy Teagan couldn’t control.