The Falls

by Cathryn Hein

‘Do you have a uniform?’ asked Penny.

  ‘Cherub has a spare. I can borrow that in a pinch.’ Bunny tapped the board again. ‘Quit tempting fate.’ Suddenly her attention shifted towards the carpark. ‘Achtung, babies. The Fuckuppa Führer and her pendulous pet are approaching.’

  Teagan couldn’t help her laughter. She really needed to lay off the champagne.

  Kathleen Ferguson strode under the shade as though invited. Col was red-faced behind, whiskered chin scrunched up in consternation as though he wanted to call her back but was too scared. Kathleen’s hard gaze fell on Teagan, making her squirm and reach for a calming drink.

  Ness hid her displeasure well. ‘Can I offer you a glass of champagne, Kathleen? We’re celebrating an engagement.’

  Both Kathleen and Col looked at Teagan. ‘Not me.’ She pointed at Bunny, who was grinning triumphantly. ‘Bunny.’

  Col seemed genuinely thrilled. He bustled over to kiss her cheek. ‘Well, that’s wonderful news, Bunny. Wonderful. Good to see you’re being made an honest woman at last.’

  ‘I was honest before, Colin.’

  ‘Congratulations,’ said Kathleen without a hint of sincerity.

  ‘Thank you,’ replied Bunny with equal disdain. ‘I’d invite you to the wedding but it’ll be a private affair, probably in the Wellness Centre’s gardens. Dom says they’re very beautiful.’

  Kathleen’s mouth puckered.

  Ness waved the champagne bottle. ‘Fizz?’

  As Col opened his mouth to accept, Kathleen butted in. ‘Best we don’t.’

  ‘It is?’ said Col, clutching his hands and looking bewildered.

  Kathleen ignored him, twitched a smile and strode off, tossing back a ‘Come along, Colin’ when he continued to linger.

  Col threw a last look of deep longing towards Ness before scuttling off behind his leader.

  ‘Those two are up to no good,’ said Penny, frowning at their backs, but no one paid much heed. The Falcons had just taken another wicket.

  ‘Well, this is going marvellously,’ said Vanessa, clapping her hands together and smiling. Anything to cover her anxiety and ensure the day progressed as planned.

  She wished Dom was by her side. Since Kathleen’s entrance she’d struggled to maintain her poise. The woman’s sly expression had threaded worry through her veins and Colin had seemed more agitated than normal. As expert collectors of local gossip they could be harbouring all kinds of information. Information Vanessa would rather remain secret for a day longer. But she knew that pair too well. The chance to make mischief during the Falcons’ first home game and Dom’s debut for the team would be too exquisite to miss.

  At least Teagan and Penny seemed to be enjoying themselves, although there was a rather fraught moment early on when Penny began to defend Dom. Fortunately, Teagan seemed too wrapped up in Lucas to notice and Bunny, bless her, had saved the day completely with her engagement.

  Vanessa smiled at her friend. Despite the celebrations, congratulatory hugs and multiple toasts, Bunny’s focus had rarely left the game. As soon as drinks were called she’d gathered up a basket of sports bottles and jogged out. Now she stood in the centre of the pack, pointing animatedly at the field and players while Mark looked on with a mixture of awe and adoration. The two of them made Vanessa’s heart skip with delight.

  The thought had her seeking out Dom. He was standing next to Lucas, drinking as he listened to Bunny. An unflattering cotton hat was on his head, similar to Lucas’s, and she was warmed by how well they fitted together. And how pleasing for Dom, who wanted the relationship so badly, that Lucas was thawing. The resentful man was slowly morphing into a friend. One day he would be a son, too.

  Somehow, her troubled niece had brought not one, but two families together.

  Vanessa glanced around for her. Cold seeped across her back as she spotted Kathleen and Col deep in conversation near the clubhouse. As though sensing her scrutiny, Col glanced towards the Falls Farm shelter. He caught Vanessa’s eye before his focus shifted to a point behind. Vanessa followed his line of sight to where Teagan stood with her glass of wine, chatting to Stacey. When she looked back, Kathleen was watching. For a moment the woman’s mouth crimped into a catty smile, then was hidden as she deliberately turned her shoulder.

  Teagan was in that mild state of buzzy drunkenness that made her feel marvellous. She’d never been much of a cricket fan, but she’d never enjoyed a game like this either. A glorious day, great company, good food and wine, an engagement to celebrate, and a man on the field she was beginning to believe might honestly love her.

  Wrapping her arms around her waist, she gave herself an indulgent hug as she made her way to the loos. She’d have to be quick. Already the boys were downing the last of their drinks and slapping backs in encouragement, ready to take the innings by its throat.

  She smiled at the mirror as she washed her hands. The champagne had put pink in her cheeks and her eyes had lost their haunted dullness. The chambray dress might not be as expensively elegant as Vanessa’s sleek blue job but it made her look pretty and young.

  Claps began to sound. The teams were filing out. As the yelled barracking, occasional whistles and good-humoured sledges faded, other voices filtered in from outside the toilet block. Recognising Col’s, Teagan cocked her head and listened in as she tore off a stretch of paper towel and dried her hands. From his tone he sounded overexcited about something.

  ‘But she came to the meeting.’

  ‘Spying, no doubt. Along with Tony.’ The voice was Kathleen’s. ‘No question whose side she’s on now that Vanessa and Dom are together.’

  Teagan stilled, her heart thumping.

  There was a pause before Col spoke again. This time his voice was almost wistful. ‘I think it’s nice she’s found someone. Very attractive lady. Shame for her to be on her own.’ His words began to fade as he moved away from the toilet block. ‘They do make a good couple. Wonder why they’ve been keeping it secret.’

  Teagan tried to process the conversation but, tossed around by alcohol and disbelief, the words wouldn’t settle. She closed her eyes, breathing hard in an effort to focus. Ness and Dom were together? It had been clear from the beginning that Dom had strong feelings for her aunt, but Ness had always held him at arm’s length. If Kathleen and Col’s conversation was true, then clearly that had changed.

  And no one had told Teagan.

  Who else knew? Her mother? Living at the farm she had to know. Lucas? From the way they were acting on the field, he and Dom were pretty thick these days. So why hadn’t either of them mentioned it? The memory of her attack on Dom and her mother reared. She swallowed as tears pricked and her throat turned rough. No one trusted her. Given her past actions she couldn’t blame them, but it was as though they thought she was so mean she would begrudge her aunt happiness. Teagan would never do that.

  Hauling in a shuddery breath, she blew her nose on the towel and tossed it in the bin, before checking herself in the mirror. A little bedraggled and too wide-eyed, but she’d pass. Enough at least for no one to corner her before she’d had a chance to talk to Penny.

  She slipped from the building and, keeping behind the spectators, made her way to the back of the Falls Farm shade. Smiling at Debbie Anderson and ducking past Stacey who was burping Olly, Teagan tugged on the back of her mother’s dress.

  ‘Can I talk to you for a minute?’ she whispered when Penny turned. Teagan darted a look at the others. ‘In private.’

  Penny threw a pensive glance Vanessa’s way, but her sister was busy watching the cricket with Bunny. ‘Is everything all right?’

  ‘I just need to ask you something.’

  Her mum frowned before nodding reluctantly and following Teagan towards the dusty road that separated the spectator stands from the car-parking area. ‘What is it?’

  ‘Are Ness and Dom lovers?’

  ‘Oh, Teagan.’ Her mum reached out.

  Teagan stepped back, biting her lip as hurt flooded her. ‘Why didn’t an
yone tell me?’

  ‘We didn’t want to upset you.’

  She gazed at the field, blinking. Lucas was stepping in from the outer as the bowler made his run. ‘By we, I guess you mean Lucas too.’

  ‘Teagan, sweetheart, it’s not how you think.’

  ‘Then how is it, Mum? Did you all think I was so mean-hearted that I wouldn’t be happy for Ness?’

  Was she really that awful a person?

  ‘No!’ Penny held out her palms in a pleading gesture. ‘Come back into the shade. Let Vanessa explain.’

  The crowd let out a cheer. Teagan jerked her head towards the field and stared as Dom sprinted up to Lucas and slapped him on the back. Still triumphantly holding his catch, Lucas turned and man-hugged him. A tiny groan escaped her mouth as all the little hints and clues merged together and realisation finally hammered home. Lucas and Dom were related. Most likely father and son. The father he had once hated, who’d caused his expression to darken and whom he’d described as an arsehole. Who Lucas was now best mates with, and never said a word to her about.

  A clenching pain swelled beneath her ribs. Balling her fist, Teagan jammed it against her chest but the ache kept growing.

  ‘What else are you keeping from me?’ She could barely get the words out, they hurt so much.

  Tears swamped Penny’s eyes. ‘We were going to tell you everything tomorrow.’

  ‘Tell me what?’

  ‘Your dad . . .’

  Her tongue felt thick, her mouth sticky. Fiery sun pounded her head. ‘What do you mean, my dad?’

  ‘He’s at the Wellness Centre.’ At the blood-draining shock on Teagan’s face Penny began to gabble. ‘Dom had Graham flown up on Monday. He’s in the gambling program. Dom says it’s one of the best there is. I’ve been to see him. He promises he’ll work hard to get better.’

  The words faded into a jumble. Teagan took another staggery step back. Her own father, here, in The Falls.

  And no one told her?

  Slowly, she faced the cricket ground again. Lucas and Dom were side by side, waiting for the new batsmen, united. She shifted focus to the shelter and locked eyes with Vanessa. Her aunt lifted a hand to her mouth as it widened in dismay.

  The lies crowded in on her, one after the other. Ness and Dom. Lucas and Dom. Her father at the centre. How many more were there? How much worse did they get?

  ‘Teagan, come on, please. It’ll be okay. Talk to Vanessa. She’ll explain.’

  Explain? Teagan didn’t need any more explanations. Her worst nightmare had come true. They all thought she was crazy, an unkind, ugly-hearted person not to be trusted with anything. And given the horrible, insane thoughts rioting through her mind, they were probably right.

  Teagan took another step back, then another. Swivelling forward, she broke into a jog.

  When she reached the oval’s gates, she began to sprint.

  ‘Where’s Teagan?’ asked Lucas, scanning the shades and spectators. He thought he’d heard her cheering when he took that catch but hadn’t heard anything since.

  The opposition were all out for a hundred and fifty-nine. Now it was the Falcons’ turn to chase runs. The team were gathered under the clubhouse awning, kits open, bats and pads and helmets ready for strapping on. As opening batsman, Lucas was already preparing. Any moment he’d have to head out. He wanted a kiss for good luck.

  Vanessa answered in a weird, high voice. She’d been tucked at Dom’s side ever since they’d come off the field, the pair exchanging whispers. ‘I’m sure she’s around. Probably the loo.’

  Lucas noticed her grip on Dom’s arm. He looked at his father’s face. Something was wrong.

  ‘Come on,’ said Dunks, slapping his back. ‘Get those pads on.’

  But Lucas didn’t want to get his pads on. He wanted to know where Teagan was. He stared around again and caught the excitement on his teammates’ faces as Bunny revved them up. There was cricket to play and Teagan was a big girl. She’d be fine. Probably in the loo, as Vanessa said.

  He finished padding up and shoved his box into place, thinking of Teagan and their deal. She’d looked amazing in that dress. Girlish and sexy. But best of all, when she’d smiled, it’d been real, reaching her eyes and lighting them in a way that had his heart leaping.

  His gloves went on. He grinned as Dom ruffled his hair and handed him his helmet and bat.

  ‘You’ll do great.’

  Pride surged through Lucas. It had taken years, but the longed-for little-boy dream was coming true. His dad was here, watching him. Playing on the same team like he’d once fantasised.

  The calls of good luck faded as he and Dunks walked out to the wicket. Lucas glanced back, hoping to see Teagan. Hoping to hear her voice, see her smile, but again there was nothing. Sickness lurched in his stomach. He tried to put it aside but it lingered all the way to his stumps.

  As he took his mark he scanned the crowd one last time. Then all Lucas could think about was the ball coming straight at his head.

  ‘I don’t know where she’s gone,’ Vanessa hissed to Dom. She’d dragged him to the side of the clubhouse away from the others. When Penny told her what had happened they decided to let Teagan be, confident she wouldn’t miss Lucas’s innings. A little time to work out her temper and for Vanessa and Penny to coordinate their approach would do them all good. Except it had been half an hour now, Lucas was at the crease, and she still hadn’t returned.

  Dom rubbed her shoulder. ‘She’ll turn up. It’s fine.’

  Vanessa wasn’t so sure about that. The look Teagan had given her as she’d retreated from her mother had been one of complete disbelief and deep hurt.

  ‘How did she find out about us? We’ve been so careful.’

  Dom shrugged. ‘Maybe someone saw my car at the farm.’

  ‘But that’s hardly unusual.’

  ‘It being parked there all night is.’

  Out of the corner of her eye, she caught the tall figure of Kathleen Ferguson and remembered the catty smugness of her earlier expression. Vanessa’s lip curled slightly. She bet it was her. Not much happened in The Falls without Kathleen hearing about it. Her and Col were like bowerbirds when it came to gossip. Anything colourful was snatched up with glee, and against their grey daily life in The Falls, she and Dom would glow very colourfully indeed.

  Vanessa scanned the grounds again, desperate for Teagan. All they needed was a chance to explain. For her to understand they’d only wanted to protect her.

  Dom followed her gaze. ‘She can’t have gone far. Her ute’s still here.’

  ‘That doesn’t mean anything. She’s had too much to drink to drive. We all have.’ Vanessa wrung her hands. She had guests to get back to. Dom had his son and team to watch and cheer on. She pressed her lips together to hold back worried tears. ‘Oh, this is awful. Teagan was having such a lovely time and now it’s all gone so wrong.’

  He frowned, at last looking as worried as she felt, then softened at Vanessa’s distress. ‘Hey,’ he said, kissing her temple. ‘Stop fretting. It’ll be all right.’

  ‘But I can’t just stand around doing nothing.’

  Dom’s mouth thinned. ‘I know. But bar starting a search party I don’t know what else we can do except wait and see if she turns up.’

  It was getting dark now, the air cooling. Teagan’s feet hurt. She’d busted a strap on her sandal during the sprint away from the cricket ground and the rough edge had rubbed a raw patch over her toes.

  She’d run a long way. A long, long way in her search for somewhere safe. But there was nowhere in The Falls that was safe, not when the danger lay inside her.

  She stared at the waterfall and pool, hunting for a way out of this mess, only for her vision to blur with more tears. They hadn’t stopped. Each time she thought they might dry up, the overwhelming feeling of betrayal and uselessness flattened her again, squeezing more out.

  Why hadn’t she trusted her gut and returned to Levenham when she had the chance? At least there she had Em and
Jasmine, friends she knew she could rely on. And Astra, with her solid warmth and big horsey heart. She could have found a job easily enough, fended for herself. The Falls would have been a memory.

  Lucas would have been a memory.

  Lucas. God, it hurt to think of him; his smiling, promise-filled eyes. His ardent, almost angry plea for her not to leave when she’d wanted to go. Teagan had hoped it was because he truly felt something for her, but she could see now it was just another ruse to keep her here, the depressed-mean girl who needed help.

  Help, no doubt, in the form of the Wellness Centre.

  An icy shiver ran over her skin at the thought of that place. She couldn’t go there. The risk was too great. The counsellors would get inside her head and see the awfulness there, and then everyone would know how truly crazy she was.

  She didn’t want to be like this. All she wanted was to be her real self again, for the whispery darkness to stop.

  The tears and sobs came again. Convulsive and loud, bouncing off the rocks before being absorbed into the green bower. When the fit had passed, she sniffed and wiped her sodden cheeks on the bottom of her dress. Deep fatigue dragged at her bones and flesh. She was so tired. So sick of crying, of not knowing what to do. And so scared of a future that contained only more of this misery.

  A noise sounded from her dress pocket. Recognising her phone’s ‘feed me’ bleep, she dug it out and stared at it. The screen had sported a ‘Connect to Charger’ message for a long while now. Unsurprising. She’d been gone for hours.

  More tears began to fall. God, were they ever going to stop? She closed her eyes tightly. She wanted to go home, to the place where she was once normal. Recapture the girl that had become so lost. Except she didn’t know how, and there was no one she could trust to help anymore.

  Apart from . . .

  She hit ‘call’ on Em’s number before she could stop herself.

  ‘Teagan? How are you? I’ve been meaning to call.’

  The kindness in Em’s voice, the genuine delight at hearing Teagan’s voice had her breaking down again.