Tell Me Lies

by Michelle Lindo-Rice

  “What does he want, Officer Denton?” Noah asked.

  “We have a message for you,” he gasped. He shoved an envelope into Noah’s hands.

  Noah heard the click of a gun next to his head. “Let him go,” Denton’s partner said. Denton complied.

  Officer Denton said, “Close your eyes and count to ten.”

  Noah closed his eyes. He heard the crunch as both men returned to their vehicle. He kept his eyes closed until he heard the door slam. Then he felt the whoosh as the vehicle took off into the night.

  “Thank you, Lord.” Noah clutched the envelope, entered his car, and drove home. He was glad Gramps was already asleep. Noah rushed into this study and tore open the envelope.

  He pulled out another picture. His eyes widened. It was a picture of him and Sydney. He flipped it over and saw one word.

  Family?

  His legs wobbled. Noah dropped into his chair. Matthew had given a not-so-subtle threat. Was Sydney in danger? Noah shook his head. The Avengers didn’t hurt women. Well, four of them didn’t. Matthew meant to shake him.

  It worked.

  Noah clenched his fists. “What do you want? Just get to it already!” But, he knew Matthew wouldn’t be hurried. Noah would have to wait and see.

  23

  The stiff, awkward silence was deafening.

  “I know you’re not pleased to see me,” Janine began.

  Sydney whirled and stormed into the kitchen. She couldn’t throw her mother out, but she didn’t have to speak to her. She made her displeasure known by tossing the candles in the garbage can. She slammed the cupboards and the dishwasher rattled from the force of her movements. She knew it was childish, but she didn’t care.

  “I’m going to get a headache if you don’t stop all that banging,” Janine said.

  “You could go home where it’s quiet.”

  “We’re having this talk tonight. I’m not going to bed crying one more night.”

  Sydney faced her mother. “Am I supposed to feel sorry you’ve been crying? What about me? How do you think I feel knowing you lied to me?”

  Janine swallowed. Tears lined her cheeks. “I’m sorry. I’m here asking for you to listen and forgive. That’s what the Word says.”

  “You dare talk to me about the Word?” She turned away. “Don’t talk to me about forgiveness.”

  She trounced into the living area. Janine followed.

  “I guess your feeling sorry is supposed to fix everything,” Sydney continued. “You denied me the right to have a father like all the other children. Most of my friends had both of their parents.” Her lips quivered. “I’m the one who had to mooch off Belinda’s dad. I had to …” She shook her head. “But he was alive. He was alive the entire time and you took that away from me. There’s nothing you can say to console me.”

  Sydney’s chest heaved. Rage poured from her. “Dead. Dead. You said he was dead. Who does that? What human with blood running through their veins would concoct such a wicked, vicious, cruel lie, and tell it to their own child?” Sydney got in her mother’s face.

  Janine mumbled, “A soft answer turneth away wrath.” Sydney heard her recite the words three times.

  “Well, cat caught your tongue?”

  Janine spoke through her teeth. “I understand your anger. But I won’t tolerate your disrespect.” Janine’s right eye twitched.

  Sydney interpreted the twitch and took a seat. She’d gone too far. “I’m sorry.”

  Janine took several deep breaths. “Sydney Ariella Richardson it’s time for you to hear what I have to say.”

  That was not a request. It was a command. When her mother used all her God-given names, it meant she was not in the mood to be trifled with. Sydney nodded.

  Janine sat opposite her. She smoothed her jeans skirt. “My mother had me when she was thirteen years old. She was a child herself and couldn’t take proper care of me—which was understandable—so the state stepped in and I became a ward of the court. I was adopted at five years old. I never knew my father.”

  Sydney half-listened because she’d heard this part before. She kept her face blank, but inside her mind raced. When would her mother get to the point?

  “What I didn’t tell you was that I wasn’t the only child the Richardson’s took into their home,” Janine said.

  Sydney crooked her ears. “You have brothers and sisters?”

  Janine shook her head. “No. I was their only adopted child. When I was fourteen, the Richardson’s took in a foster child, Irving Edison. His parents had been killed in a fire. The agency begged my parents to take him in.”

  Sydney’s eyes widened. She flashed back to their last conversation. She cupped her mouth. Irving was her father’s name. Suddenly the story fell in place. Sydney looked at Janine as if she’d never seen her before. Janine’s confession demolished the pedestal on which she’d been placed for most of Sydney’s life.

  “You had a sexual relationship with your foster brother?” Sydney’s face scrunched like she’d eaten sour candy.

  Janine lifted her hands. “He wasn’t my brother. He only stayed with us for a short time. I know how it sounds,” She looked upward. “Lord, help me. Give me the right words.” She touched her throat. “May I have a drink of water?”

  Sydney rushed into the kitchen and snatched two bottles from the refrigerator, which she rested on the counter. She was glad her mother asked for the water. She needed a minute. She leaned into the counter and mulled over her mother’s truth. It was a serum snaking up her spine from the pit of her stomach. So far, truth left a poor taste in her mouth. Sydney muttered under her breath. “Just listen. Don’t judge.” She straightened, grabbed the waters, and returned to where Janine sat waiting.

  Janine undid the cap and took several hearty gulps. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. “I didn’t think this would be so hard to talk about. Experiencing it was one thing, but talking about this whole tawdry affair is hard. Finding Irving was the greatest joy of my life. He was my only love. It sounds sordid and shocking.” She shrugged. “But at my age, I’m not going to entertain any regret. I’ve earned the right to live above other people’s microscopic view of love.” Her eyes pleaded with Sydney. “When I’m done, I hope you’ll agree.”

  Sydney drank some of her water. “I’m listening.”

  Janine continued. “Irving was seventeen and we became the best of friends.” She squared her shoulders. “He stayed with us for a couple of years. Then he joined the navy. I think it’s important to mention nothing inappropriate happened under my parents’ roof. Anyway, my parents would welcome him anytime he was on leave. I heard all about his adventures, his women, everything. It was fascinating, especially since I’d been so sheltered.” She got a faraway look in her eyes.

  “The turn in our relationship began when I left home for USF in Tampa. By this time, Irving had his honorable discharge and had completed his bachelor’s degree. He decided to go for his masters and enrolled at USF.” She smiled. Her voice took on a breathy air. “We were thrilled to be reunited. We were inseparable. It was as if no time had passed. Then I met Steven Macomber. Steven was pre-med and very, very, good looking,” Janine smacked her lips to emphasize her point. “I fell for Steven fast and hard. He was thoughtful and kind. He made me laugh. But what I didn’t know was Irving no longer felt ‘brotherly’ toward me. I’d go on and on about Steven.” Janine shook her head.

  Sydney smiled, as any child would when being told how their parent’s fell in love. “He must have been so jealous.”

  Janine and Sydney’s eyes met. This was the first time Sydney had addressed her mother in a normal conversational tone.

  “He was.” Janine chuckled. “He transformed into this unrecognizable … I don’t even know what … right before my eyes. He was nasty to Steven. Irving teased him about his hair, his teeth. You name it. I remember telling him he picked at Steven like a chicken picking in the dirt.”

  Sydney grappled with the picture of her mother,
young, carefree and having a relationship. It was… weird. “Go on,” she said.

  “Irving carried on so bad, I couldn’t take it anymore. I confronted him. We had one of the biggest shouting matches of our lives. I can’t recall half of what was said, but we were throwing insults like Frisbees back and forth.” Janine squinted. “Then he said something really nasty to me. I don’t remember his words, but I do remember running back to my dorm in tears. I cried so much that night my eyes were the size of golf balls. I refused to speak to him after that.”

  She shook her head. “I can’t remember what he said.” Then she shrugged. “Somehow I made it through my classes the rest of the semester. My relationship with Steven fizzled and I blamed Irving. He made several attempts to approach me, but I shut him out. Completely.”

  Sydney squirmed. Her mother sounded … like her.

  “Now bear in mind, I hadn’t met the Lord, yet. I wasn’t washed, saved, and sanctified,” Janine offered. “You’re more like me than you realize.” She pointed her hands between them.

  “So what happened next?” Sydney asked, scooting to the edge of the couch.

  Janine squinted. “The last night of our exams, we had to pack to return home during winter break. This time I had to talk to Irving, as he was my ride home. My roommate had already left by the time Irving came to collect my things. He was always such a gentleman, even when he was mad at me.” Janine looked at Sydney. “That day as he bent over to pick up my bags, something happened. My heart shifted. That was when I saw him, not as Irving the clown, Irving the navy man, Irving the student, or Irving my best friend. I saw him as Irving the man.”

  After her mother’s declaration, Sydney released a heartfelt sigh. It was hard not to be drawn in by the romance of it all.

  Janine continued, her eyes wide. “Imagine my surprise. All of a sudden, I saw this gorgeous, handsome man before me. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I remember I was holding something in my hand—a vase or something—because the next thing I knew it fell to the ground. There was shattered glass everywhere. But I was immobile, frozen with clarity. I was in love with Irving Carver Edison.”

  Sydney rubbed her arms. Goose bumps popped on her flesh. “Did you tell him?” Sydney had to know.

  “Patience,” Janine stood and stretched. She went to peer out the window, but her mind seemed far way. Then she turned back to Sydney. “I don’t know what my face said, because Irving crunched over that broken glass and took both of my hands in his.” Janine held both her hands out mimicking the action. “I trembled and looked to the ground in shame. I didn’t want Irving to see my soul. He reached under my chin and made me look at him. What I saw made me gasp. I saw the same torture reflected in his eyes and I knew.”

  Tears streamed down Sydney’s cheeks. She visualized her mother and father standing in front of each other, acknowledging feelings some might see as taboo.

  “Irving moved his arms around me in slow motion, giving me the chance to back out, but I stood rooted. My heart pounded. I knew he was going to kiss me. I wanted him to kiss me. It felt like forever but when his lips finally touched mine, it was like, like, coming home. His kiss felt so right, so… everything. We knew there would be no turning back. Our youthful urges took over and we… we…” She laughed self-consciously. “Well, you can imagine what happened next. And, it was beyond words to describe. It was… completion.”

  “Completion.” Sydney repeated the word and exhaled. Janine described a feeling she understood. “That’s what it is. That’s what it felt like when Noah and I kissed.”

  Janine smiled. “You feel that way about Noah?”

  “Yes.” Sydney blushed. “But we have plenty of time to talk about him. I don’t want you to get sidetracked.”

  Janine continued, “Once we cleaned up the glass and drove home, reality set in. Though, we were afraid of how they would react, we couldn’t carry on a charade. They saw us as siblings, but we decided to tell our parents the truth and hoped they would… adjust. Irving and I knew our parents wouldn’t be pleased at our news.”

  Sydney shifted, afraid to hear what was coming next. Her shoulders tensed.

  “Mom and Pop were furious. They couldn’t accept our relationship. I guess Irving and I were kind of like Whitney Houston’s daughter dating that boy. Anyway, Irving and I promised them we would end things.” Her eyes grew sad. “We tried. For two whole months, Irving and I dated other people. But we were battling something more powerful than ourselves. We ended up back into each other’s arms. But this time we went undercover. It was the best time of my life, until …”

  “You got pregnant. With me.” Sydney filled in.

  Janine nodded. “Here I was, young and pregnant. I was so scared. I made the biggest mistake of my life. I cut things off with Irving, afraid to tell him the truth. Instead, I concocted the lie that I had met someone and was going to marry him. Irving bought it, too. I’ll never forget the pain in his eyes as long I live. He left the next day not knowing he’d fathered a child.

  But my parents knew. They knew I was carrying Irving’s baby, but we never discussed it. In fact, my father threw out any pictures we had with Irving. He wanted to forget Irving Edison ever existed. When you were born, I gave you my name. Eventually, I moved to Cape Coral. Irving and I lost touch, though I know he sent letters to Mom occasionally. It wasn’t until Facebook that we reconnected, and I finally confessed the truth.” Her shoulders sagged.

  Sydney went to her phone and pulled up Irving Edison on Facebook. Her hands shook and she strained to get a glimpse. But he had a Bible as his profile picture.

  “Does he have any other children?” Sydney didn’t feel comfortable calling him Irving or dad, so she used ‘he’ for now. That was going to take some getting used to.

  “Sadly, no. He did marry, though, but his wife died.” Janine shook her head. She reached for the rest of her bottled water and took a sip. “But no children. You are our only child.”

  Sydney stood and went to hug her mom. “You lost over thirty years together.” She shook her head. “I feel a pang knowing I could’ve had a family with a mother and a father. I understand, though. I really do.”

  Sydney surprised herself with how much she meant those words.

  “I told you he was dead.” Janine faced Sydney who was now seated next to her and continued. “Because he had to be to me. My parents saw Irving as a son. They had wanted to adopt him, but his biological parents refused to sign consent.”

  “You could’ve moved.” Sydney edged closer to her mother to drive her point across. “You could’ve told him the truth and moved somewhere.”

  “I agree with you now.” Janine took her hand. “Irving suggested moving, and now I wish I had. But when you’re adopted, your parents’ approval means everything to you. You do what they say because you want them to love you. You don’t want to feel like you’ve disappointed them.”

  Sydney nodded. “I think I understand.”

  Janine’s eyes held sorrow. “Now that I’m a parent, I know I was wrong. But I can’t undo the past. I can only change the future. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. What I did was horrible. I shouldn’t have let fear dictate my life.”

  “I forgive you. And I agree that you can’t let fear rule you. I’m glad you found love again.” Sydney felt an emotion stir within her from the pit of her stomach. It circulated all the way up to her heart. She touched her chest. “I love you, Mom.”

  The two women hugged.

  “I love you, too.”

  Sydney pulled back. “Mom, I’d like to meet him. I’d like to meet my father.”

  “Irving really wants to meet you. He’s already in love with you,” Janine said, touching Sydney’s cheek. “We’re going to get married quickly.”

  Sydney lifted her hand to clasp Janine’s hand, which was still holding her face. The child in her rejoiced at the thought of her parents’ reunion. “I’m happy for you, Mom.”

  Janine nodded. “I’ve never
felt so alive. I want you to be my maid of honor.”

  Sydney gulped. “I’d be honored.”

  24

  The picture of Noah and Sydney at the park was the first thing Noah saw when he awakened the next morning. It was almost six a.m. He checked his cell phone. Sydney had sent a text at 12:49 am.

  Her message said:

  All is well.

  Noah breathed a sigh of relief. He’d prayed for both women last night. He’d also prayed about Matthew.

  Noah’s heart lifted at Sydney and Janine’s reconciliation. He texted back.

  So glad to hear that.

  Forgiveness was a struggle, but a requirement for a child of God. As a minister, it seemed Noah needed to practice forgiveness more than others. The members of his congregation in Texas had expected much of him. He was held at a different standard than the rest of the “regular” population, and his wife would be too.

  He wanted Sydney, but her forgiveness issues didn’t exactly make her the ideal candidate. Sydney couldn’t let things go easy. Noah had things he needed to work on as well so he wouldn’t judge. He hoped she’d learn the secret of forgiving others. Maybe it would be his job as her pastor, and hopefully, her husband to lead her there.

  At seven-fifteen, Noah started his drive to Beulah. Sydney called. He pressed the talk button on his steering wheel. “Hey, Beautiful. Glad to hear everything went well last night,” he said.

  Her voice came through the speakers. “Yes, and I should’ve listened to you long ago.” She yawned. “I’m a little tired and I’m due into court at eight a.m. this morning. I’m driving into the office to grab my file.”

  “I’m glad you patched things up. I hated hearing you and your mother were at odds. I’d do anything to have my parents here again.”

  “Oh, Noah,” she said, her voice sympathetic, “And here God has given me two parents. Life isn’t fair.”

  “It’s not supposed to be. Losing my parents was hard. But it left a gap for God to fill. I’m at peace with my past. I’ll have to tell you more about me.”