William groaned. What did he have to do to get a little sympathy from literally anyone today?
“That’s a no?” Tyler did sound tentative now.
“No, I mean- no that sounds good. What did you have in mind?” He rolled onto his back and pushed himself up on one elbow.
“It’s meant to be sunny. I wouldn’t mind a poke around the second-hand stores, maybe a beer in the sun.”
“I like the second part of that.” William didn’t exactly love shopping.
Tyler looked at him with what on anyone else would have been puppy dog eyes, but which somehow he just made look hopeful and earnest.
William relented. “I’m sure I can handle a little bit of looking at clothes as long as we get beer at the end of it.”
Tyler looked genuinely delighted.
“Do you feel like joining me and Gen for movie night on Sunday, by the way? She wants to meet you properly.”
“Oh, yeah! That sounds good. How do you feel about pizza tonight? We’re kind of out of anything that looks like a vegetable, and it is a Friday.”
“We can do that without me moving from the couch, right?”
They wound up eating pizza on the couch and trading stories about old classmates. William had pretty much given up on pretending it didn’t feel like they were dating. He noticed how often Tyler leaned into his personal space, close enough he could feel the heat radiating from him. Tyler, for his part, seemed not to notice, moving with a casual ease and comfort, leaning on William’s shoulder to look at a photo on his phone, sitting closer than strictly necessary on the couch. It was late, but not hugely so when he yawned and rolled his shoulders forward. “I’m going to get to bed, I feel like the jetlag is still kicking my ass.” William had almost forgotten it’d been less than a week that Tyler had been here, it felt like they’d been living together like this for months.
“I’ll sleep in, probably, but I promise I’ll be awake to take you out on the town.”
Tyler smiled sleepily. “I’ll hold you to it.”
William kept as positive a mindset as he could muster for the shopping portion of the afternoon. Tyler, to his credit, was decisive and moved with an impressive efficiency though the stores they were hitting up one after another.
“I thought you wanted me to show you around? Though I guess things can’t have changed that much in the last few months.”
“I did a bit of research yesterday afternoon. I figured out how to hit up everywhere that looked promising then end up at a bar. I don’t know if the bar is any good, though.”
William was relieved and impressed. He bought a black scarf, in the spirit of things, and focused on the fact it wasn’t a terrible hardship to watch Tyler trying on a series of slightly-too-small t-shirts for an hour or two.
The bar they ended up at was one William hadn’t been to before, nestled down an alley a few blocks from his apartment. It had a courtyard out the back, which Tyler led him through to. “How’d you find this place?”
Tyler didn’t meet William’s eyes. “I um, it used to be my go-to for dates. It’s quiet, usually, and generally the floor isn’t sticky. You know, the little things.” He slid a note across the bar, collecting a jug and a couple of glasses.
“Are you romancing me?” William sounded amused, but he could feel the back of his throat catching as he spoke.
“They also let you smoke in the courtyard, c’mon.” Tyler hip-checked the door open and picked a table in the corner. They were the only ones there. William noticed that Tyler hadn’t actually answered his question.
“Did you go on many dates before Jules?” William realized he didn’t really know anything about Tyler’s dating life. That wasn’t was surprising exactly, but he couldn’t deny he was curious.
“No”, Tyler deadpanned, “I was sweet 29 and never been kissed”.
William pulled a cigarette out of the pack in his jacket pocket and tapped it against the table, waiting.
“A few. I had a long-term thing that ended before I came here for school, then I went on a few dates but nothing that really stuck. I was always pretty bad at dating, I usually just hooked up with friends-of-friends.”
William nodded, “I know the feeling.”
“How about you?” Tyler poured beer into each of the two glasses, tilting them so they didn’t wind up all foam, a talent which William had never mastered.
“I mean, like I said the other night. I go on dates sometimes, but not… like you said, nothing which really sticks.”
Tyler took a long swig of his beer and lifted his eyebrows, signaling go on.
“I dated this guy called Heath for a while. Well, sort of dated. We saw each other like three times a week but he would never call me his boyfriend. That went on for… I don’t know, a couple of years? We started seeing each other during my final year of post grad, then I eventually broke it off at the beginning of last year.” Gen had stood over him while he composed the break-up text. (“Isn’t it sort of bad form to do it like this? Shouldn’t it be face to face?” he asked. “He won’t call you his boyfriend, he doesn’t get a proper break-up” she said, severely.)
Tyler nodded sympathetically. “That sucks, I’m sorry.”
William shrugged. “I guess? I mean, it made me kind of nuts. The not knowing what we were.” He hadn’t actually meant to be so honest there, but in for a penny. “That’s kind of why I date but not like, a lot. I kind of like. Well. I like second dates” he finished quietly.
“I mean, that sounds pretty normal to me. I don’t think wanting to like, call the person you see every week your something is unusual.”
William picked up his beer, as much so he had something to do with his hands as anything else. Also, now that he thought about it, this conversation might go a little smoother with a bit of alcohol in his system.
“I mean, that’s kind of why I ended up dating friends of friends” added Tyler. “I didn’t really like trying to figure out if I wanted to hook-up with someone based on a couple of hours chatting in a bar. I tried it, but I guess I’m just not built that way.”
William took another swallow of his beer, working out how to respond. “That’s a good way of putting it.” He stubbed out the cigarette he’d been mostly ignoring as it burnt down to ash. “So, tell me about this novel of yours.”
Tyler rolled his eyes. “All the personal questions today, huh?”
“Ok, I’ll buy the next jug if you tell me about your novel. Deal?”
It was a few hours later and properly dark when William stood up to go to the bathroom and realized the beers had caught up with him. He felt loose and relaxed, and oddly unconcerned about how personal the chat had gotten. He looked at himself in the mirror as he washed his hands, brushing his hair back into place and tucking a stray strand behind his ear. He needed a haircut, probably. When he slid back into his seat there was a fresh jug of beer in front of him. He raised an eyebrow at Tyler who, to be fair, looked as least as drunk as he felt.
“Last round?”
“I think so. Do you have much to do tomorrow?”
William shook his head, “movies with Gen, and a little bit of class prep. Nothing which I can’t do in the afternoon.” Possibly it was the spring weather setting in properly, maybe it was the beers, but he felt incredibly warm.
They drained the jug surprisingly fast and William caught a chair with his foot as he stood up, winding his new scarf clumsily around his neck.
“Oops” he mumbled, as Tyler darted out a hand to catch his elbow. “I’m fine!”
“Uh huh” said Tyler, who then managed to knock over a glass as he stood up. “Shit.”
William giggled. “Taxi?”
“Do you want to walk instead? It’s a nice night.”
Maybe it was that the beer had made him bolder, but William replied, “is that the line you used on your dates?” before he could think better of it.
“Maybe” said Tyler lightly. Opening the door out of the courtyard and leading William back through the bar. It was
a good night, clear and still, when they tumbled out onto the street.
“This way” he said, even though Tyler had already started walking, and they wandered slowly back down the darkened streets to his apartment.
“Why did you come back here?” he asked.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, I know why you left Sydney. But why here? Why not somewhere else? You said you wanted to figure out what you were doing with your life.” William wasn’t sure if he was making sense.
“I don’t know, exactly. I guess it didn’t occur to me to go anywhere else. Which maybe means this was the right place. Or maybe just that it was easy.”
“I like it here” said William quietly.
“I think I do too” said Tyler, pulling his keys out of his pocket, the flash of the golden house key catching William’s eye.
They were standing outside William’s door, Tyler fiddling and fumbling with the lock.
“Do you want me to get that?” asked William, half leaning on Tyler’s shoulder, though he wasn’t sure if he would do any better.
“No, I think I’ve- “ Tyler was cut off as he finally worked the key into the lock and they both half-fell through the doorway. William caught himself against the wall and grabbed Tyler’s upper arm with his other hand.
“Ah, sorry” Tyler righted himself and pushed the door closed. He was standing so close William could count his eyelashes. William’s hand was still on his arm. Tyler looked at him, their eyes meeting and William’s breath was suddenly slowing, everything slowing down as he dropped his eyes to Tyler’s mouth. He leaned forward ever-so-slightly and pressed his lips against Tyler’s.
William had no idea what possessed him to kiss Tyler. His brain felt slow and fuzzy, the beer and the sharing of secrets and the closeness coming together to shut off his better judgement. Tyler didn’t move away, kissing back with a low hum. One of his hands came up to catch William’s hip, his fingertips splayed across the top of his ass. William could feel the sticky slide of Tyler’s stubble, and the warmth from his chest, even though the layers of clothing. They pulled apart, and William could hear Tyler’s shallow breaths. Neither of them spoke for a moment.
“I uh-“ William paused, not sure where to go next. Did he apologize? Should he make some kind of move? Tyler looked at him, his face open, soft and shocked. “I should um, get to bed, probably.” He pushed past Tyler, heading straight to his bedroom and shutting the door. He sat on his bed heavily, not bothering to switch on the light. There was a soft knock at the door.
“Goodnight. Don’t forget to drink some water.”
He heard Tyler’s door shut a second later, then silence.
Chapter 8.
William woke up to sunlight streaming through his open curtains and audibly groaned. Why did his head hurt so badly and why hadn’t he closed his curtains before he went to sleep? He blinked a few times, then remembered what had happened the previous night. He climbed out of bed for just long enough to pull the curtains closed, considered trying to make it to the kitchen to get a glass of water without bumping into Tyler and decided he wanted to stay in the safety of his room for as long as possible. He climbed back into bed, pulling the covers over himself and fell back asleep despite his pounding headache.
When he woke again a few hours later he had sweated so much his sheets felt like they were glued to his back. He wrinkled his nose, sat up and regretted it almost immediately. He couldn’t actually say how much of how terrible he felt was a hangover, what was dehydration, and what was a horrible sinking feeling he had fucked up monumentally. He couldn’t really stay in his room forever, though. He stood up, tugging on his dressing gown and opened his door a crack. Tyler’s door was still firmly closed. William walked to the kitchen, treading carefully, even though he knew Tyler must surely be awake by now; it was the early afternoon. He drained a glass of water, then another, gulping it too quickly and spilling a thin stream down his chin and onto his chest.
He dug through the drawer full of miscellaneous crap under the kitchen counter, hoping he might turn up a painkiller or two, but no such luck. Coffee would probably make things better. William wondered how long he could avoid someone who was living in the same house as him and resolved to find out. He hoped it would be a while at least. He could hear movement from Tyler’s bedroom, and then the bathroom door shutting and the sound of the shower. He probably had about ten minutes to smoke a cigarette, drink some coffee, and disappear back into his own bedroom before Tyler emerged, he thought. He let himself onto the balcony, and lit a cigarette, the nicotine hitting him and making the hangover behind his eyes wobble back and forth, unable to decide if it was getting worse or better. How did he manage not to date at all, really, then the first boy he kisses who he actually likes in what might be years, is straight and living in his spare room? William closed his eyes and held the smoke in his lungs for a second longer than usual.
He shut the door of his bedroom at the exact moment the lock on the bathroom clicked open, and the whirr of the fan became louder now it wasn’t muffled by the door. William felt sort of stupid, and childish, hiding in his bedroom, but he also didn’t really want to face Tyler just yet. It was Sunday, which meant he had a day before classes, but maybe he could just go up to campus tomorrow anyway… oh no. It was Sunday, which meant Gen was due over in a couple of hours. William’s shoulders tensed. There was no way he was going to be able to avoid her figuring this out, Gen sniffed out boy-trouble like no one else on earth.
A few hours later, William had showered, shoved a load of laundry through the wash in a gesture at being a functioning adult, and was working at his desk in the lounge. Tyler hadn’t emerged from his room all afternoon, which made William anxious but also oddly satisfied that it wasn’t just him that was being avoidant. He’d texted Gen, and she should be here any minute. He’d begged a hangover and she was bringing pizza rather than beers, which he was pathetically grateful for. He had just started to look at Tuesday’s class plans when she knocked. “Thank god” he muttered.
William opened the door to Gen holding two pizza boxes, a bottle of coke under her arm.
“Do you want to grab these for me? Otherwise I’m about to drop the pizza or the drink all over the floor.”
William took the bottle, slippery with condensation, from her, and moved out of her way, locking the door behind her.
“So, what is the hangover in honor of?”
“I went out with Tyler, he’s still sleeping it off I think.”
“Welcoming him back home properly huh? Good night?”
“Yeah, it was good to catch up properly, beer’s good for that.” It wasn’t a lie exactly.
“How are you finding having someone back in the house?” Gen set down the pizzas on his coffee table, then perched on the edge of the sofa. “Is he staying permanently, or just until he finds a place?”
“I’m not really sure”, said William. That bit was definitely true.
“Not sure how long he’s staying, you mean?”
“Yes.”
Gen shook her head. “Billiam baby, you never get any better at this.”
“It’s good having him here”, William clarified.
Gen rolled her eyes. “You’re going to tell me what’s going on, but you’re going to do that after we’ve eaten the pizza, it’s already getting cold.”
William hit play on the film, hoping to forestall any questions.
“You do have a crush, then?” guessed Gen.
“He’s home and could come out any minute”, said William reproachfully, then stuffed half a slice of pizza into his mouth to avoid answering further. Things had been much simpler a week ago when all that he had was a crush.
“We’d hear the door. Is that it? You seem a little off, even given the hangover.”
“I’m just tired from class”, explained William around a mouthful of cheese. “We’ll miss the story, c’mon.”
At that moment they did hear Tyler’s door open, and footsteps
coming towards the lounge. William felt his stomach drop and the half-swallowed pizza felt like a solid mass lodged halfway down his throat.
“Is this the famous romcom Sunday?” asked Tyler, standing in the doorway, looking slightly sleep-rumpled, but otherwise unbothered.
“Sure is!” replied Gen cheerfully, and patted the sofa cushion next to her, “pull up a pew”.
Tyler sat down on the couch, and leaned in towards Gen. “I’m Tyler, I know we met last weekend but this time around I’m properly awake.”
William had no idea what was going on. Was Tyler messing with him? Had he forgotten what happened? Did he just not care, or think it was a joke? He sat silently, half-watching the movie, but mostly too distracted to focus on the plot. Tyler hadn’t seen this one but showed a suspicious familiarity with the general arc of the film. In between suppressing a panic attack, and trying to remember how to chew and swallow, William wondered idly if everyone around him was a closet romcom fan.
The movie finished and Tyler made no move to leave. He and Gen had been whispering asides to each other throughout. “So, what do you do?” he asked Gen.
“I’m a painter.”
“Oh! An artist?” said Tyler.
Gen laughed, “no, but I get that a lot. I paint houses. Actual houses, not pictures of them.” She picked up the last slice of pizza. “Anyone mind if I have this? No? Good. Do you… write? Or teach? Like William?”
Tyler paused. “I write, I guess? It’s not always writing which I’m excited about.”
“Tyler’s writing a novel”, William put in, helpfully. He still had no idea what was going on but guessed it might look fractionally less weird if he was participating in the conversation.
“I mean. I, kind of, I guess”, stammered Tyler. “It’s not… it isn’t really a novel yet.”
“I bet it’s good” said William enthusiastically, looking directly at Tyler for the first time. Tyler met his eyes, then looked away. Gen glanced between their faces and looked thoughtful.
“William is usually right about this stuff. If he tells you it’s good, it is. You’ll know, because he’s a terrible liar.” She emphasized the last two words, which William felt was unfair given she was supposed to be his friend first.
Extra Credit: A Gay Love Story (Elliot Extra Book 1) Page 5