“Is he aware of this?” Timothy asked.
“I have offered him the same information that I have given you. He doesn’t accept it, and that isn’t surprising. He insisted he could see if he wanted to, and he wants to see. A conversion disorder is something a patient can’t control.”
Isaac scratched his chin whiskers. “Is there a medicine that will help him?”
“There are some treatment options available. Counseling, stress relief, but medicine, no. Since the cause of this disorder is psychological and not medical, I suggested he seek the care of a psychiatrist or psychologist. He refused.”
Anna leaned forward. “My son is not crazy. He is blind. You are a poor doctor if you must accuse the patient of not wanting to be well.”
“Anna, that is enough.” Isaac laid a hand on her arm and she fell silent. He looked at Dr. Marksman. “Will our son recover?”
“There is a good chance his vision will return in time. How much time...that I can’t say. I’m hopeful. He has a strong faith and a strong family to help him get through this. Telling him to get over it won’t help. Telling him it’s all in his head can make it worse. Right now, he has little to dwell on except the horror of what happened. It’s still fresh in his memory. As that fades, I believe his vision will return. Slowly or all at once, but there is a slim chance he will never recover his sight. That is up to God.”
* * *
Rebecca was darning socks for Anna on the porch when Isaac came out of the house the following evening after supper. He took a seat beside her on the small bench. “How is Samuel?”
“Subdued. He’s taking a walk along the pasture fence. He uses a long stick to feel his way.”
“What do you make of what the doctor told us?”
“I’m not sure what to think. I was happy when he said he believes Samuel will recover in time, but when he admitted he had never seen a case like Samuel’s, I did wonder if he knew what he was talking about.”
“The thought crossed my mind, as well.”
“Samuel is a strong man, but I know he is deeply worried.”
“Worried about what?”
Rebecca laid her bowl aside and half turned to face Isaac. “He’s worried about the family breaking apart. When I asked him what he meant, he said it was his responsibility to keep his brothers together and he has failed.”
Isaac leaned back and stretched his long legs out in front of him crossing them at the ankles. “He has always felt that it is up to him to keep his brothers close even when I tell him young men must go their own way. When Luke left, in some ways it was harder on Samuel than all the rest of us.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Samuel was about ten years old when his mother became deathly ill. Anna thought she was dying. I did, too. I had to rush her to the doctor. It was winter. I chose my fastest horse and the small sleigh in order to get Anna to the doctor as quickly as I could. There wasn’t room for all the children so I left Samuel in charge. Anna told him he was responsible for all his brothers until I returned. She was barely conscious when I carried her out to the sleigh, but she took Samuel’s hand and made him promise to look after the others. I could see in his face how scared he was. I was scared, too.”
“We all look after our brothers and sisters. I was always given the task of keeping track of my siblings.”
“As was I, but the snow was deep that year, and a big storm moved in. I got my wife to the doctor. An ambulance took us to the hospital, but the roads were soon closed and I couldn’t get back. I was worried half out of my mind about Anna and about the boys. During the next three days, Samuel took care of everyone. He did the chores, fed the stock, brought in firewood—he did a man’s work and he kept his brothers safe and sound. It couldn’t have been easy. Noah was only two. Luke told me later that Noah cried for his mother all the time and Samuel had to carry him around to comfort him. Ever since that time, Samuel has had a profound sense of responsibility toward his brothers.”
“Why does he feel he has let them down now?”
“Our farm is a small one. It was enough for Anna and me when the boys were small. But they are grown now and will soon have wives and children. Noah is the youngest, and his family will take over the farm. My other sons will have to find work. Samuel was sure that our woodworking business could be expanded enough to provide a living for everyone. He had the talent and he had the drive to make it work. His mother and I invested all we had to expand. The explosion set fire to the shop and destroyed everything. It was God’s will. I don’t blame Samuel, but I know he blames himself.”
She looked at Isaac. No one knew Samuel better than his father did. “Do you think he will get well?”
Chapter Ten
A dark blue car turned in at the end of the lane and drove toward the house. Rebecca noticed that Isaac hadn’t answered her question. He rose to his feet and stepped to the door. “Anna, they’re here.”
Rebecca tipped her head to look up at him. “Are we expecting someone?”
“Joshua. I had Luke call him yesterday evening. They made good time.”
Anna came bustling out of the house drying her hands on her apron. The blue car stopped just beyond the steps. The back door opened. Joshua got out and waved at his mother. She waved back and raced down the steps. Joshua’s stepdaughter, five-year-old Hannah, climbed out of the car and ran to meet her. “Mammi Anna, I’m so happy to see you again. Do you have some of those cookies I like?”
Anna lifted Hannah into her arms for a hug. “You’ve grown an inch. The cookies aren’t ready. I thought we could bake them together. What do you think of that idea?”
“It sounds wunderbarr. I love baking. Mamm lets me help her all the time.”
Isaac walked down to clasp his son’s hand. “Welcome home. We are glad you are back.”
“I should have come sooner. Where is he?” Joshua looked around.
“Taking a walk. Come in. Get settled. There will be time to visit after that. Mary, welcome to our home.” He smiled at the young Amish woman who got out and stood beside Joshua.
“It’s good to be back, although I wish the circumstances were different.” The pretty young bride smiled at Rebecca.
The rest of the Bowman brothers came outside and Joshua was soon the center of backslapping and good-natured teasing.
Anna put Hannah down and turned to Rebecca. “You remember Joshua’s bride, Mary, and this bundle of energy is Hannah, the granddaughter I have always wanted. Mary, this is Rebecca Miller. She has been helping me take care of Samuel. Come inside, girls. We have a lot of catching up to do. How are my sisters?”
“They are well and send their love. You can expect a letter telling you all about our visit shortly. Tell me, how is Samuel doing?” Mary asked, looking to Rebecca.
“He has had a rough time of it, but he’s doing better. His bandages are off.”
“But his vision hasn’t returned?”
Rebecca shook her head.
Joshua finished paying the driver of the car after they unloaded the bags. “I see Samuel coming this way. I think I’ll go out to meet him.”
“I’ll come with you,” Luke said.
“Me, too,” Timothy and Noah said together. All the brothers walked toward the pasture in a subdued group.
Isaac smiled after them. “I reckon I’ll take the bags in. Tell me again why I had sons?”
* * *
Samuel stumbled when he stepped in a hole. He used the pole he carried to catch himself. Simply walking unaided was a challenge, but he was determined to relearn his way around the farm. He leaned his head on his hands to catch his breath. He might have chosen to walk too far on his first time out, but he wasn’t going to sit in the house and learn to knit.
“What’s new, brudder?”
Samuel jerked his he
ad up. “Joshua? Is that you?” He held out his hand and his brother gripped it. Samuel winced.
“Brudder, you are a sorry sight. Leftover pizza that’s been walked on looks better than you do.”
Samuel grinned as he touched his face. He had been told it was red and raw-looking with scabbed-over areas and shiny red blotches mixed among patches of peeling skin, but Rebecca never mentioned pizza. “You say the sweetest things, Joshua. What are you doing home? I thought you’d be gone another month at least.”
“Daed asked me to come back and help out. I shouldn’t have left before harvest. We could have waited a few more months to get married. I would have been here to help and things might not have gone so wrong.”
“You’re here now and that’s what counts,” Timothy said.
“I’m glad you came home. Now I can stop being the only one catching those itchy, prickly corn bundles. It’s your turn,” Noah said with glee.
“Married men don’t catch,” Joshua said. Was he able to keep a straight face?
“They don’t? Is that true?” Noah demanded. Everyone laughed.
The brothers fell into step together. Samuel realized he was in the middle. Surrounded, guided and protected by the brothers he thought of as his responsibility. It was a big change.
“What are your plans, Samuel? Do you have any?” Joshua asked.
“I don’t. I’m still trying to figure out what I can do. Woodworking is out, that’s for sure.”
“Why?” Noah asked.
Samuel shook his head. “Because I can’t see.”
“You don’t need to see to sand a cabinet panel or a tabletop. We do that by feel,” Timothy said.
“I hadn’t thought of that.” Those were tasks he could do. His hands were still tender, but with a pair of gloves on, he could hold a sanding block or a sheet of sandpaper.
Luke chuckled but didn’t say anything. “What?” Samuel demanded.
“You can still stand around and yell at us to get a move on. I know you have eyes in the back of your head that you’ve used for that.”
All of the boys laughed and Samuel joined in.
“We are going to rebuild the workshop, aren’t we?” Joshua asked.
Everyone grew silent. Samuel sighed. “The church is building us a new one next week. It won’t be as large and it won’t have all the equipment we need, but it will be a start.”
“All we need is a place to start,” Timothy said with conviction. “God willing, we’ll be doing a booming business in a few years and everyone can come back to work here.”
“A few years sounds like a long time without you fellas.” Noah’s voice trembled slightly. “You might find work close by.”
“The hardware store in Dover is hiring,” Luke said quietly. “So is the place that makes siding in Beach City.”
“Beach City? That’s more than two day’s buggy ride from here,” Noah said in disbelief.
“Most decent-paying jobs are more than two days away,” Luke snapped.
“No one has to go anywhere.” Noah sounded desperate.
“I have a wife and child to support. We could scrape by living here, but what about the next one of us to marry and the one after that?” Joshua fell silent.
“We’ve always made do.” Noah’s tone conveyed how much he wanted to believe it was still possible.
Samuel said, “What about the years when the harvest is lean and we don’t have enough food to feed all of us? The sad truth is there isn’t enough farmland available to support all the Amish in this church district. We need cottage industries. We need to attract customers. We are five miles off a major road. Few people find us unless they are looking for us.”
“We’ll get by. God will show us what needs to be done.” Noah’s conviction struck a chord with Samuel. He wanted to believe that, too.
“We trust God to give us a good harvest, but we still have to hoe the weeds from the garden,” Timothy said quietly.
Samuel tried for a lighter tone. “I have to find a way to distinguish between a weed and a radish without being able to see them. Any suggestions?”
“Looks like we have more company,” Luke said.
“Who is it?” Samuel asked.
“If I’m not mistaken, it’s John Miller. I wonder what he’s doing here?”
“He’s here to put new shoes on Mamm’s pony.” Had he also come to see Rebecca?
* * *
Rebecca was visiting with Mary and being entertained by the antics of Hannah and Samuel’s mother as they giggled and chatted while they spooned cookie dough onto baking sheets. The aroma of snickerdoodles and gingersnaps filled the kitchen. Isaac was sitting by the window watching, as well. He turned and looked outside. “We have another visitor.”
“Who is it?” Anna asked.
“John Miller. Wonder what he wants?”
Anna slipped a full sheet into the oven. “Samuel had me write and ask him to shoe our pony. He said Noah was too busy to do it.”
Rebecca moaned inwardly. She hoped John would shoe the horse and leave without asking for her.
“That’s a funny face.”
Rebecca opened her eyes to find Hannah watching her. “Did I make a face? It must be because I don’t like snickerdoodles.”
Hannah’s eyes widened. “You don’t? That’s just weird. Did you know my town got blowed away by a tornado?”
Nodding, Rebecca said, “I heard that. It must have been awful.”
“It’s getting fixed, but it sure is a mess. Lily’s onkel said one man’s troubles are another man’s blessings. He has lots of work now for his horses cause they pull logs to the sawmill. There’s busted trees all over the place. Lily is my best friend. We’re going to go to school together.”
Rebecca would have preferred to continue her conversation with Hannah, but John made an appearance in the doorway. “Guten owed, everyone.”
Anna wiped the sweat from her brow with the back of her hand. “Good evening to you, too. Won’t you come in? We’re getting ready to enjoy a few hot-from-the-oven cookies.”
“That sounds mighty fine. I may take you up on your offer later. First, I’d like to speak to Rebecca. Her mother sent me with a message.”
Rebecca tried not to make that face again. She managed a smile and rose to go outside with John. He led the way to a small swing at the end of the porch and sat down. Rebecca reluctantly did, too.
“Is something wrong with Mamm?” she asked quickly.
“Ease your mind. It’s nothing like that. I happened to mention I was coming this way and she wanted me to tell you that Katie Chupp stopped in to see if you could help out with the children when her baby is born.”
“I’ll have to find out when she is due. I’m not sure when I’ll be finished here.”
“Has the family here been treating you well? I’ve heard Samuel isn’t the best patient. He has a reputation for being a hard taskmaster.”
“I’ve been treated very well.” She saw the brothers returning from their walk. She realized Joshua would be a welcome addition to the harvest crew. That meant Mary would be able to help Anna. Would Rebecca have a reason to stay on? Samuel no longer needed her care. His brothers or his mother could do all that she was doing. His dressing changes were minimal. He was out and about. If he needed to see the doctor again, Mary or Anna could drive him. Rebecca wasn’t needed anymore.
John stared at her with an odd expression. “What’s the matter?”
She shook off a feeling of sadness. “Nothing. I was lost in thought.”
“Will you be coming home soon?”
“That’s exactly what I was thinking about. I’m not sure how long I’ll stay, but I’ll come home again on Sunday to see Mamm.” Rebecca would have her old life back soon. Another family wanted her to help with
a new baby. Soon her time with Samuel would become another memory. The thought saddened her.
“Your mother will be happy to hear it. May I drive the two of you to Sunday services again?”
His eyes were so hopeful. She smiled at him. “That would be nice. I’ll see you on Sunday.”
He nodded, but he didn’t look as pleased as she thought he would. “Reckon I should get that pony’s new shoes on. I’ll see you later, and I’ll give your mother your message.”
“Danki, John. I never told you how much I appreciated all the things you did for me after Walter died. You’ve been very kind to me.”
“It’s what the family expects of me. That’s all.”
She found the statement puzzling, but she smiled, anyway. “Don’t forget to get some cookies before you go.”
“I won’t.” He walked down the steps as Samuel and his brothers reached the house. They called a greeting, and Noah went with John to help with the shoeing.
The rest of his brothers went inside, but Samuel stayed by Rebecca. “Did John bring you news from home?”
“Just that my mother misses me, and I have another job offer.”
He frowned. “You can’t take it. You are still working for me.”
“You don’t require much care anymore. You said so yourself.”
“My fingers are sore and stiff. They may be infected. What do you think?” He held them out.
Taking each one in turn, she examined them carefully. A few of the peeling areas had small cracks in the new skin underneath. She didn’t see any serious redness or weeping. “I have some salve in my bag that will help. Wait here and I’ll get it.”
She wove her way through the crowd in the kitchen, sampling the cookies and teasing Hannah, and returned with a small jar of burn salve. She stepped out onto the porch and saw Samuel was sitting in the swing. Her heart started thudding heavily when she sat down beside him. Being close to John hadn’t produced this effect. She schooled her voice into a casual tone. “Let me see them.”
He held his hands toward her. She uncapped the salve jar and began smoothing the cream over his palms. “You can use this several times a day. On your face, too. It will help protect the new skin.”
An Amish Harvest Page 13