“It tingles.”
“That means it’s working.”
“What’s in it?”
“It’s my own concoction. Aloe vera gel and a few other things. You should wear soft cotton gloves for a while to keep the dirt out. At night, it will be okay to leave them open to the air.”
“You like taking care of people, don’t you?”
“I have a talent for it the way you have a talent for carving. God gives each of us unique gifts to use for His glory.”
“I had a talent for carving.”
“You still do. How are your eyes today? Any change?”
“The world is still dark. It’s strange, but at night, I think I see glimmers of light, almost like stars, but in the light of day, nothing.”
“The doctor said this kind of blindness is almost always temporary. You have to have patience.”
“It’s hard, but I’m trying. Who has offered you another job?”
“Katie Chupp will need a mother’s helper when her baby comes. She has five little girls and two boys already.”
“Do you like taking care of kinder?”
“I love taking care of children. My adult patients are the hard ones to deal with.”
“Have I been hard to deal with?”
She crossed her arms. “Do you really want me to answer that?”
“Maybe not.”
“You must be glad to have Joshua home.”
“It will make things easier for my parents. I’m grateful for that. I could tell he was upset by the scars on my face. Does it look bad?”
“Most of them will fade. In a year, you won’t know you were ever in a fire.”
“I’m worried about Joshua’s daughter. Will I frighten her?”
So that was why he hadn’t gone in with the others. “I’m sure Joshua and Mary have prepared her for how you will look. Just remember that children can say hurtful things without meaning to.”
“My brother said I looked like a stepped-on slice of pizza. I’m pretty sure his daughter can’t do worse than that.”
She chuckled. “Aren’t brothers wonderful?”
“Yeah, they are.”
She heard the pain in his voice and knew he was still thinking that he had failed them. “Might as well get it over with. Your reward will be a warm snickerdoodle.”
“How can I say no to that?”
Rebecca guided him into the kitchen and to a seat at the table. His mother brought him a glass of milk. Hannah was standing by her mother at the stove. She frowned when she saw Samuel and glanced up at Mary.
Mary gave her an encouraging smile. “You remember your father’s brother Samuel.”
Samuel straightened and turned his head toward them. “We met before the wedding, Hannah. You helped me make a trinket box for your mother. Do you remember that?”
Hannah nodded. Mary leaned to whisper in her daughter’s ear. “I remember,” Hannah said loudly.
Mary gave her a plate of cookies and a little push in Samuel’s direction. Hannah approached him cautiously. She set the plate on the table. “Would you like a cookie?”
“Only if they are snickerdoodles. That’s my favorite.”
“Mine, too. Rebecca doesn’t like them. She makes faces.”
Rebecca waited for him to comment, but he didn’t.
Samuel groped for the plate. Hannah pushed it under his hand. “How come you can’t see?”
“My eyes were injured in an explosion.” He bit into a cookie.
“Did it hurt?” Hannah asked in a loud whisper.
“A lot, but it doesn’t hurt now. These are good. Did you make them?”
“I helped Mammi Anna.”
“She’s about the best cookie maker in the state.”
“My Mammi Ada is the best.”
He chuckled. “Is that your other grandmother?”
“One of them. Are you going to help us pick apples tomorrow?”
“I reckon I could. You’ll have to help me. I won’t be able to see them.”
“I’ll show you where they are. He’s not scary, Onkel Luke.”
Luke, leaning against the wall, slapped a hand over his mouth. Timothy punched his shoulder. “You’re so busted.”
“It wouldn’t be the first time,” Samuel said. There was a second of stunned silence, then all the brothers laughed.
Noah slapped his knee. “He’s got you there. You’ve been busted by the police and a kinder.”
Isaac rose from his seat by the window. “Time for bed. We have a silo to finish filling tomorrow, soybeans to start harvesting and hay to cut. The paper says we can expect a chance of rain all next week.”
The gathering broke up. The men left and the women finished cleaning the kitchen. Rebecca was wiping down the table and counters when Anna said, “You have done him a world of good. I’m sorry I doubted you.”
“I’m glad I could help.”
“It’s good to have my family home again. I consider you part of this family now.”
Anna went off to bed leaving Rebecca alone in the dark kitchen. She did feel as if she were a part of this family. More so than any other family she had worked with. It was going to be hard to leave. Much harder than she had ever expected.
Instead of going to bed, she slipped out the back door and walked down to the stone wall. Sitting there, she watched the river flowing by. The currents and eddies were marked by ripples, but the true power of the river lay beneath the surface. Like the waters in front of her, her emotions seemed quiet and sedate, but there was turmoil underneath and Samuel was the reason. Her growing attraction to him frightened her. She knew what it was to love and to lose that love, and she never wanted to be in that position again, but Samuel was pulling her toward that very cliff.
Was it possible to turn her feelings back to those of friendship? She had to try.
“A penny for your thoughts.”
To her surprise, Luke came out of the shadows beneath the covered bridge. “I’m afraid they’re not worth a penny.”
“Does that mean you will give them away for free?”
“I was thinking about how hard it will be to leave here.”
“That’s funny. I’m always thinking about how easy it would be.”
She crossed her arms. “You do not like living Amish?”
“I don’t have anything against it, just doesn’t seem to suit me.” He picked up a pebble from the shore and tossed it into the water. The ripple was quickly swept downstream and disappeared under the bridge.
“What does suit you?”
He continued to gaze out at the water. “A fast car. A loud radio. Video games. They suit me.”
Tipping her head slightly, she studied his back. “I thought you had more substance than that. They seem like trivial things, not something that could pull a man away from God and from his family.”
He glanced at her over his shoulder. “Have you ever ridden in a really fast car?”
“Would it surprise you to know that I have driven a fast car?”
“Don’t tell me that pious Rebecca Miller had a wild rumspringa?”
“Not as wild as yours from what I’ve heard, but I left for a while.”
He walked to within a few feet of her. “I get what brings kids back. But what keeps them here?”
“First tell me what brings them back?”
“Loneliness. They find they can’t fit in. They are square pegs in round holes. The only place where they feel normal is the place they most wanted to leave.”
“You didn’t mention love.”
He shoved his hands in his pockets and walked to the water’s edge. “You’re right. Love does bring them back because they can’t stand being alone.”
“So y
ou have answered your own question. Those of us who return and stay, do so because we feel loved. Loved by God, loved by our families and loved by ourselves. For if you do not love yourself, the world is a very dark place.”
He threw another rock in the water. “Yes, it is.”
“Guten nacht, Luke.”
“You’re good for him. I hope he sees that.”
Rebecca had no reply for him. She simply walked back to the house.
* * *
After a long minute, Luke spoke. “Do you see it, brudder? Or are you really that blind?”
Samuel came out from beneath the bridge using a long stick to feel his way across the grass to the wall. When he reached it, he sat down. “You should mind your own business.”
Luke gave a bark of laughter. “I might make a play for her if you don’t. I think she could hold a man’s interest for a lifetime.”
For once, Samuel knew Luke was right. A lifetime with Rebecca by his side was an image that had cemented itself in his mind and wouldn’t fade. Would it be possible or was he only torturing himself?
Luke came to Samuel’s side. “Do you think you can make it back to the house?”
“The headache is gone. I’m not dizzy. There’s nothing left in my stomach. I think I can. Thanks for your help.”
“I don’t understand why you didn’t have your nurse take care of you.”
Samuel rose to his feet, glad to find the dizziness didn’t return. “I didn’t want to frighten her. If it happens again, I will tell her. Tonight, I’m glad you were the one who stumbled over me. Do you think you can take me back to the house now?”
“Sure, but you should tell Rebecca this happened.”
The flash of light Samuel saw when he looked out over the river tonight had produced a blinding headache. The pain dropped him to his knees. For a second, he thought he’d been struck by lightning only there wasn’t any sound.
If Luke hadn’t come along, Rebecca would’ve found Samuel sick and rolling on the ground in agony. He was glad she hadn’t seen him in that condition.
When Luke said Rebecca was coming, Samuel begged him to stall her until he had a chance to recover. His brother managed to do that, but Samuel knew Luke didn’t feel right about deceiving Rebecca.
Samuel didn’t, either. He didn’t know what the flash of light meant, but it didn’t feel like a good thing.
Chapter Eleven
“Something isn’t right with Samuel.”
Rebecca couldn’t put her finger on what was wrong, but he seemed different. Withdrawn somehow. It worried her.
“He looks fine to me,” Mary said.
They were all walking toward the small apple orchard a few hundred yards from the house early the next morning.
Samuel held Hannah’s hand and let the child lead him. Hannah was excited to pick apples and chatted happily with her grandmother and him. Rebecca walked a few paces behind with Mary.
“Hannah seems quite taken with Samuel,” Mary observed.
“He was worried that he would frighten her.”
“Joshua and I spent quite a bit of time making sure she understood what had happened to him.”
“She’s handling it very well.”
Mary smiled. “She’s strong and she has a wonderful kind heart. How much longer will you be staying? Joshua mentioned that his father hired you to take care of Samuel after his injury. He doesn’t appear to need a nurse anymore.”
They reached the orchard and Rebecca watched Hannah help Samuel fill his basket with fruit by telling him to reach higher or lower. At one point, he lifted her to his shoulders and let her pick the high ones and hand them down.
Rebecca began filling her basket with the red ripe fruit. “I expected to be sent home when you arrived, but no one has mentioned that. I will have to leave soon or risk losing my next position.”
“You have an unusual occupation for an Amish woman.”
“I came into it naturally. My husband was ill for many months before he passed away. A friend asked me to be her mother’s helper when her baby was born and it was such a joy to take care of a new life. After that, the Lord supplied me with a steady stream of people in need of care.”
“My adoptive mother is a nurse. She says it is more than a profession—it is her calling.”
“I feel the same way. There are times when I wish I had more education. I may speak to the bishop about that possibility. I know there are some Amish churches that have made exceptions to allow women to be trained as nurses’ aides and LPNs.” Rebecca finished filling one basket and started on another.
“It’s funny that you should mention that. My mother is hoping to help train some of our young women to work at a new clinic being built in Hope Springs. It’s a clinic for special needs children. We have a fair number of children with genetic disorders in our district. My mother was raised Amish but chose not to join the church. She speaks Pennsylvania Dutch and that makes it easy for worried Amish families to trust her. She knows how important it is for health care workers to understand and respect the Amish ways.”
“That is so true. Our ways are different from the Englisch.”
“If you can get permission and would be interested in training with her, I’d be happy to introduce you. We called and told them we were coming back before we left Illinois. She and my father will be coming for a visit soon. I’d like to think they want to see me, but I know it’s Hannah that they miss.”
“That is an intriguing offer. I will have to give it some thought.” Formal training? It was something she had only dreamed about.
“Mamm, come see this apple. It’s all flat on one side. Isn’t it funny?” Hannah came running with her unusual find.
Mary and Rebecca admired it. Hannah took her mother’s hand. “Help me find another one.”
The two of them went around the next tree. Seeing that Samuel had been left alone, Rebecca moved up to join him. “You have been deserted for an odd-shaped apple.”
He smiled slightly, but didn’t comment as he gingerly searched the spreading branches of the tree for more fruit.
“Samuel, are you feeling okay?”
His hands stilled. “Why do you ask?”
“You seemed quieter than normal. Is everything all right?”
“I have a bit of a headache. Sorry if I’m putting a damper on the outing.”
“You aren’t. Hannah is having a good time picking apples, and Anna is having a good time watching her.”
Hearing her name, his mother came over to join them. “That Hannah is the sweetest child. After all my sons, I finally have a little girl in the house. I will hate it when they leave.”
Samuel scowled. “Who said anything about them leaving?”
“Joshua told us this morning that he is going back to work construction in Hope Springs after the harvest is finished. I know they will come to visit when they can, but I had hoped they would settle here.”
“There’s no work for him around here, Mamm. You know that.”
“He must get work where he can, I understand. I just wanted my sons and grandchildren closer.”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t do that for you,” he said quietly.
“It was Gott’s will. I think we have enough apples for this morning. Let’s take them back to the house and start cooking.”
Anna called to Mary and Hannah, and the three of them made their way out of the orchard.
“You can’t take the blame, Samuel. It was an accident. Accidents happen.”
“I know that.”
“But you still blame yourself.”
“It gives me something to do in the evenings since I can’t read a book.” He pulled off his dark glasses and rubbed his forehead.
“Is your headache worse?”
“A little.”
“Perhaps I should take you to see the doctor.”
He settled his glasses back on. “I’m done with doctors for a while, but I am going to need your help getting out of this orchard.”
“It will be my pleasure.” Rebecca took his arm and led him back to the house, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. He was hiding something.
* * *
Samuel was sitting on the swing when he heard his mother laugh. He glanced toward the kitchen window and the white curtains fluttering in the breeze. Pain shot through his skull and sweat broke out on his body as he doubled over. Grasping his head with both hands, he held on, enduring the agony until it vanished as rapidly as it came on. At least this time he hadn’t been sick. He leaned back in the porch swing and drew a deep breath.
“Another one?” Luke asked. Samuel hadn’t heard him approach.
“Yeah.”
“You should tell Rebecca.”
“This one wasn’t as bad.”
“It looked bad to me. I thought you were going to fall out of the swing. I’m going to call your doctor.”
“Don’t.”
“Pretend for a minute that it was Noah bending over and grabbing his head. Imagine he’s white as a sheet only a few weeks after he went flying through the side of a building following an explosion.”
“I flew out an open door, not through the side of the building.”
“Good point and that may have saved your life. Back to my story. I say, Noah, I’m going to call your doctor. This head pain isn’t right. Now you say?”
“If it was Noah, I’d tell you to call the doctor. I don’t need one.”
“Because your head is harder than his is or because you think you are less valuable to this family?”
“Fine. Call the doctor, but don’t tell Rebecca. I don’t want her to worry.”
“Good old Luke is the only one who gets to worry. Thanks for that.”
“Aren’t you supposed to be working somewhere? What do you want?”
“Rebecca asked me to bring these up here and give them to you.” He set a box on the swing beside Samuel.
An Amish Harvest Page 14