Love Today

by Delaney, Delia

  Ben and Curtis turned to go back to their car, but I invited them in. Sometimes I just forgot all about them because they were so inconspicuous. They’d helped move most of the heavier things that morning.

  Jared just sat on the couch and said, “I’m guessing Jason and Melissa don’t want to join us somewhere for dinner?”

  I smiled and shook my head. “No, I don’t think so.”

  “Well, I’m sorry if I made that uncomfortable for you. I feel like you’re totally in the middle of everything and that’s not fair.”

  I sighed and sat on the couch next to him. I laid my head against him and he wrapped his arm around my shoulder to pull me close.

  “I can’t think about it,” I said quietly. “I don’t have the emotional energy anymore.”

  “I’m sorry.” He kissed the top of my head and we just sat there in silence for a few seconds.

  “I do have the energy to eat, though.”

  “Okay, let’s go eat,” he chuckled.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  The next day turned out a little differently than I was expecting. The movers came at eight a.m. and had everything ready to go by ten. I gave them the address of the storage unit in Kensington to unload at, and then they were off.

  But Jared had made different arrangements with his band, and instead of starting rehearsals that night for their tour, they were going to start them the next night instead. My car was packed and ready to go, and Jared wanted to go with me.

  “Are you serious?” I asked when I stopped by his house to say goodbye.

  “Surely am,” he smiled. “I’d like to ride to the bay area with you.”

  “But I’m driving nonstop.”

  “So that works perfect. You can just dump me off at the airport and I’ll be good to go.”

  I smiled and said, “I’m not going to ‘dump’ you off somewhere.”

  “Well I was hoping I could meet your family.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, if you’re not too ashamed of me.”

  I laughed and said, “I assure you that I’m not.”

  “Well, perfect.”

  I noticed Clyde for the first time after entering the house and asked, “What about your dog? What are you going to do with him?”

  “Well…I was hoping to bring him with us, for Maggie, but then I remembered that the two of you are going to join me in San Diego in eight days…”

  I smiled and nodded my head. “That’s right, because I actually gave you an answer, huh?” I said sarcastically.

  He chuckled and said, “Well, I prayed that the answer was yes, so I’m hoping that God doesn’t let me down.”

  “That’s funny,” I told him. “And kind of evil, you know.”

  He laughed and shook his head. “I’m kidding. But anyways, I’ll just have someone come get him this afternoon,” he said, nodding to Clyde.

  “Hmm, I say we bring him,” I decided. “Hey Clyde, do you wanna go for a ride?”

  I knew the dog was familiar with the phrase, and he grunted a response as he wagged his stubby little tail.

  “Don’t tease him,” Jared said. “You’ll break his little bulldog heart.”

  “When Maggie and I fly to San Diego, Braden can take over the dog sitting. He’d be thrilled.”

  I liked the smile on Jared’s face when he asked, “Really?”

  “Yeah, to have possession of Jared Miller’s dog? He’ll love it.”

  “No, I mean you and Maggie will tour with me?”

  I studied his eager face and nodded my head. “Yeah, I would really like to be with you.”

  He stepped closer to me and took my face in his hands. “This is going to be incredible. I’m the luckiest guy in the world.”

  He kissed me, and I felt every bit of happiness that he possessed. It made me feel good, like I was doing the right thing. He told me that he loved me, and that also felt good. I also felt compelled to tell him the same thing because it was true. I did love him, and I was very grateful to have him in my life. I almost didn’t do it, but I decided to go with my heart that time.

  “I love you too, Jared.” I knew he was so happy to hear me say it out loud. “I’m, uh…” I paused. I could barely finish it. With a smile I just said, “I’ve never told anyone that. Sorry I’m not as eloquent in my declarations as you are.”

  “It was awesome,” he grinned. “You were so nervous.”

  I scoffed and backhanded him in the chest.

  He laughed and said, “That means more to me because I know you’re being honest.”

  I considered that for a moment, and then slightly nodded my head. “Yeah. I am being honest.”

  He smiled, and he gave me that look again, like I was the most important person in the world to him. There is just something about being totally adored by someone, but not only that, you adore them just as much.

  I enjoyed those next few minutes kissing him. I always enjoyed kissing him, but this time was more of an occasion than anything. It was a special event in my book, and I always wanted to remember it.

  Poor Ben and Curtis got dragged into the long drive as well. Jared tried to send them on a flight instead, but they would have none of it. They had each tossed a bag into their car as we were about to leave.

  “I’m sorry,” I said, trying to hide a smile. Curtis was all for the long drive, but I knew Ben was not. He didn’t like being cooped up without something to do.

  “Don’t apologize, Miss Hartford. We pay ourselves well with Jared’s money.”

  That made me chuckle because Jared always joked about letting them set their own salaries. But I said, “Damn it, Ben. You call me Miss Hartford one more time and I’ll make you ride with us and listen to Taylor Swift the entire ride.”

  Jared and Curtis laughed but Ben looked horrified. “God, no.”

  “It’s Taryn. Please.”

  I waited for him to agree. “Fine. Taryn.”

  I really did like Jared’s bodyguards. As much as they were around him, I guess they’d have to be a good match for Jared. And they were gradually getting to know me, as well. At first they were pretty indifferent, all business. They only spoke when they needed to communicate with Jared. But after a while I asked Jared if it was okay to talk to them more, be a little casual. “Of course,” he replied, seeming surprised. “They’re just afraid of you.”

  That had made me laugh, but he actually convinced me he was telling the truth. Apparently Jared had threatened them at the very beginning that I was the golden child, and they weren’t to do anything to offend me.

  I understood Jared’s motives, and so had they, but I very quickly let them know I wasn’t so fragile; I preferred that they weren’t so formal when they didn’t have to be. They learned soon enough that I could take just as much as I could dish out.

  After stopping for lunch, we headed out on our road trip. It actually turned out to be quite a fun adventure, and we decided to make stops to sightsee as often as we wanted. We took turns driving, so during the night we could both sleep. But I wasn’t even interested in sleeping when there were things to talk about and places to see—even in the dark. And after laughing hysterically when Jared made a very gassy Clyde ride with Ben and Curtis during the night, I wasn’t even tired.

  What would have normally been a fourteen-hour drive took about twenty, but it was well worth it to have Jared to share it with. The trip was memorable and my heart was full because I was with an amazing man.

  And yeah, Curtis and Ben came in handy on a few occasions when Jared was recognized. And twice we had to work a little harder to evade some of the more persistent fans. Jared never panicked in these moments. I could tell he was as used to it as getting himself dressed everyday.

  We arrived in Kensington around nine a.m. I’d called my family the night before to let them know I’d be there in the morning, and my mom joked that she should probably wait to tell Braden that Jared was coming too, just so she didn’t have to listen to him obsess about it. Our arriv
al was interesting because no one knew we’d entered the house until Maggie screamed, “Jared!” and took off across the kitchen to give him a hug. It made me smile, especially because I knew how much Jared had missed her too. Watching him hold her like that while she rambled on reminded me of the day in Seattle at the market, and it warmed my heart.

  The rest of my family wandered into the front room one-by-one. My brother was last, and lingered in the background as I introduced Jared to my parents. I knew he’d become shy like that in person, and I even warned Jared of what to expect. He was prepared for it when he made his way to Braden and said, “And you must be Braden, the Breaking Point expert. I have a few questions to ask you, if you don’t mind. Maybe you can give me some pointers for our spring tour…”

  And that’s all it took to get my brother to start talking. Jared did ask his opinion on a lot of things, from lighting ideas to entering the stage. He actually liked Braden’s suggestion that they do In My Dreams—the band’s newest release—with blue effects.

  “Cool idea,” he nodded. “We were talking about that too, and I will definitely make it happen. Have you even been to one of our shows?” he added.

  Braden shook his head no.

  Jared gave me that look, and even though I knew what it meant, I was glad that he refrained from saying it out loud until later. He really wanted Braden to come on the tour with us.

  “You ever heard of school?” I teased as we cleaned the kitchen after lunch. My brother had been sent to take out the trash, and it was the first time we were alone. Jared had even used the thirty seconds to kiss me until we heard the back door open again.

  “Just an idea,” he smiled as Braden entered the kitchen.

  Long story short, my parents were convinced that Braden could miss three days of school to make a five-day weekend. That way he could see a show in San Diego and a show in L.A. That said a lot about what my parents thought of Jared. And surprisingly my mom and dad were pretty fond of Clyde, and they were willing to be his guardians for those five days as well.

  I did get rid of my brother for an hour when I rode with Ben and Curtis to take Jared to the airport around three. It was hard for me to let him go and we sat in the car until the very last minute.

  “I love you,” Jared said one last time. He kissed me again and said, “I don’t know if I can wait a week to see you, but I’ll do my best.”

  While he held me I said, “I love you, too. Call me whenever you can.”

  “Definitely.”

  He left in a hurry with Ben at his side, who was going to fly with him, and I watched until they met up with a pair of security guards waiting to escort him. Jared turned around to smile at me one last time, and then disappeared.

  A week later Maggie, Braden, and I arrived in San Diego. Jared had a car waiting to take us to the hotel from the airport, but it surprised me that Jared was actually in the car too. Maggie was in his lap in an instant, I was all smiles because I was so happy to see him, and my brother had a goofy look on his face because he witnessed Jared kiss me for the first time.

  The hotel we stayed in was beautiful. I stood on the balcony to stare at the ocean while Maggie and Braden explored our two-bedroom suite. Jared’s room connected to ours and he was right next door, so when he knocked on the adjoining door an hour later, Maggie flung it open without question.

  “Who is it?” Jared said in a girly voice, reminding her to ask.

  “Who else would it be?” she giggled as he entered.

  “True,” he smiled. “So? What do you guys want to do?”

  “Beach!” Maggie cheered.

  “Eat,” I replied.

  My brother just stared at him.

  “Well, let’s go eat and then head to the beach,” Jared replied. “Braden? That sound good to you?”

  My brother only nodded.

  I had to laugh. He was such a dork standing there, idolizing Jared Miller. I didn’t think it made Jared uncomfortable because he was used to it from everyone else in the world, but I didn’t want Braden to be like that around my boyfriend. I wanted him to feel comfortable around him, and I know that’s what Jared wanted too. It had been that way at our house, but once Jared was out in the public with drivers and bodyguards, I think Braden reverted to his initial fascination with his status. I figured it would probably take some time for him to get used to Jared as a person—unlike Maggie, who had no clue who he was to the world and didn’t care.

  By the second day I think my brother was getting used to being around him, and he was pretty excited it was concert night. We headed for the House of Blues to watch the sound check, and Jared introduced us to the rest of his bandmates and crew (we’d met a few of them at the hotel already). We ate dinner with several of them, and then we hung out backstage while another band opened the show. When they were done, Jared said, “Well Maggie… You ready to be blown away?”

  She didn’t look too sure about the phrase, but Braden answered, “I am!”

  I wasn’t too surprised by Breaking Point’s performance because I’d seen a lot of their videos and concert footage since I’d been dating Jared. I’ll admit that it was fascinating to watch my boyfriend have such an effect on people while onstage, and it did blow me away to see it in person. I loved the show, and Maggie—being only five years old—just might have been introduced to the love of rock and roll at that point. Jared had given me muffs to put over her ears to protect her hearing, and I was grateful because the thought hadn’t even occurred to me, but she had a blast experiencing Jared’s performance.

  Midway through the show Jared announced that he had a brand new song, and he wanted that particular crowd to be the first to hear it.

  “Let us know what you think because we won’t put it on the next album if it sucks.”

  That got a response of laughter, but everyone cheered to hear the new song anyways.

  “This song is called ‘Never Without You,’ and I wrote it for someone very special. She’s here tonight, and I just want her to know that I mean every word of it.”

  My brother looked at me funny and asked, “Is he talking about you?”

  I only shrugged, but even from the first two lines I knew that it was meant for me. But as I continued to listen to the song, and I took into account that he “meant every word,” I was a little overcome by what the song was actually about.

  I sort of clapped when the song was over—it was mechanical—but it left me with unresolved feelings. It moved me in a way that I wasn’t expecting, just like the first time I heard “Tell Me You’re Mine” and had to listen to it all night long.

  The band performed two more songs and then completed a two-song encore. The show was incredible, and both Braden and Maggie were full of smiles when we headed backstage to meet up with Jared again.

  Maybe I just took the song a little more personal than I should have because Jared didn’t mention anything about it for the rest of the tour. He didn’t even perform it again at any of the shows I attended, so I decided not to mention it unless he did.

  We left for L.A. the next afternoon in Jared’s tour bus—which Braden thought was just the coolest thing. Stopping at Disneyland was an unexpected occasion. The kids were beyond stoked—Braden just as much as Maggie, but for different reasons—and we had an amazing evening there. I was sure that Jared wasn’t that interested in SoCal tourist spots since he was around it a lot, but he was great with Maggie and Braden, and it kind of felt…like a family vacation. Even though Braden was my little brother, it still seemed like Jared and I had our two kids with us.

  I began seriously considering his song… I could definitely see myself being happy with him. It was clear that he wanted a future with me, and I knew that from the things he did and said, but I felt bad that I wasn’t able to be as open as he was. I guarded my thoughts and feelings a lot more. I realized that he was waiting for me to bring it up first. That was the case, I was sure, because Jared didn’t want to pressure me.

  But I couldn’t even te
ll him how much his song had meant to me. Perhaps if I were a musician like Jared, writing and singing my heart out all the time, maybe I would be a little more outspoken than I was. But I wasn’t practiced in that, and I chose to let Jared express himself in the ways he was comfortable, and I would continue to be cautious. I wasn’t sure if that was fair or not, but I couldn’t be someone that I truly wasn’t. Jared was the open book verbally, not me.

  Braden flew home the morning after the L.A. show. I was kind of sad to see him go, and man was he disappointed beyond belief. But Jared sent him with some pretty cool stuff to give to his friends, and he was at least looking forward to that. I had a feeling that my brother would be calling me a lot more than he use to.

  After the show in L.A. came Las Vegas, Flagstaff, Tucson, and Albuquerque. Each show was about two or three days from the next, and Jared said that it was considered to be a vacation-type tour. We had time to sightsee at every city, and it was a lot of fun.

  There were only a few awkward moments along the way. Maggie and I were in the tour bus with Jared, but there were also a few other band and crewmembers once in a while. There were other vehicles traveling with the bus, and we kind of rotated who spent time where. I didn’t mind being amongst the other guys, but it was weird at night when Maggie and I shared the main bedroom, and the others scrambled for the bunks or couches that converted into beds.

  I didn’t see anything wrong with making Jared sleep with us—it’s not like anything was going to go on while we were in a bus full of people. I actually liked cuddling up with him at night, and when Maggie was asleep, we finally got to have time alone with each other.

  I got a phone call from Michelle Bronson one evening. Jared was backstage with the band while we waited for his last show in Albuquerque, and because the crowd was so loud, I had to take the call to the back of the theatre. I still could barely hear her, so I told her I would have to call her back.

  Michelle only called me when she had something relevant to the case, so I was anxious to hear what she had to say. I’d been worried when I left Washington that the case would fizzle out, but Detective Bronson had assured me that she would do her best to keep the investigation active. At the moment they were looking into a potential relationship that my sister may have had with a professor at Berkeley, and I was nervous to hear the results to that current lead.