Dead Man's Isle (Harlequin Crew #2)

by Caroline Peckham

  I nodded, my lips twisting in a bitter smile. “Well I guess that’s it then. Because I’m not gonna sit around waiting to get my heart broken.” Not again.

  I moved to leave, but she caught my arm, pulling me toward her and her mouth clashed with mine. I resisted for all of two seconds before I kissed her back, weak for her as always.

  “Please, wait,” she begged, her hand knotting in the back of my shirt and I did because I was pretty much in shock that this girl was begging me for anything. “You don’t understand.”

  “Then make me understand,” I commanded, my lips grazing hers again and tasting so fucking sweet that I wanted to die here and now just so I didn’t have to face the loss of her again. “Because I’m starting to fear that what Luther asked of you is going to mean I’ll end up watching you choose Fox. And I’m not sure I can do that, pretty girl. I think it’ll kill me.”

  She shook her head. “I’m not choosing anyone,” she insisted and I hoped that meant Chase had been wrong about what Luther wanted.

  “You’re not? You swear it?”

  She nodded, her eyes full of honesty. “I swear, J.”

  Silence pooled between us and the tension in my chest eased, letting me breathe again. And everything became clearer than it had in a long time. I’d wanted Rogue my whole life, and I knew I’d never deserve her, but I had to try and make her mine or I’d regret it forever.

  “Well what if I asked you to choose,” I said in tight voice, terrified of what this conversation was going to do to me. But I’d put it off too long and now I was faced with losing her and if I dragged out the inevitable any longer, it was only going to destroy me more deeply. So fuck it, I’d ask and I’d take my refusal now like a big boy if that was my fate.

  My brows stitched together and she gripped my cheek as she looked intently into my eyes. Tears welled in her ocean blues until I felt like I was gazing into the shallow waters of Sunset Cove. She was this town embodied, beautiful enough to bring a man to his knees and dangerous enough to tear his heart from his chest.

  “You wouldn’t want me if you didn’t know me from before, J,” she breathed. “We’re bound in this fucked up way by our childhood, but you don’t know me anymore. You don’t know who I’ve been or how I’ve changed. I’m not the whole girl you want, I’m full of broken pieces.”

  I gripped her hand, placing it firmly against my thundering heart. “You think I’m whole? I’ve twisted up my soul so bad that it’ll never be undone. But just because life tries to break us, doesn’t mean it changes who we are deep down. I see you, Rogue. I’d see you if I was blind and buried at the bottom of the ocean. And I want you more fiercely now than I ever did before because this girl is a warrior, she’s fought every day of her life and survived. She’s faced pain and loss and she’s still here fighting for that free life we all dreamed about so long ago. The rest of us lost that, Rogue, but you didn’t.” I knotted my fingers in her hair. “And when we’re together you make me think that maybe it’s possible again. That maybe all we ever wanted is just waiting for us if we dare to try and get there.”

  She gazed at me like she wanted to dive into that dream with me and never let go, but then her eyes fell from mine and my hopes fell with them.

  “I built a wall around my heart a long time ago, JJ,” she said sadly. “And as much as I want to give it to you, I’m afraid I lost the key to get inside.”

  Pain burned a hole in my chest at those words, but not for me, for her. I was broken over the fact that this girl had been hurt so deeply that she couldn’t trust her heart with anyone anymore. And I knew I was partly responsible for that. It was something I couldn’t forgive myself for, and maybe the right thing to do was to let her go. Because who was I anyway to think I could capture her heart? I didn’t deserve this girl. I was the town’s whore and had sold off pieces of my soul to anyone who wanted them for years. I’d tried to keep some part of me whole for her, but when I looked closely, I wasn’t sure I’d really managed that. So why should I expect what was left to be enough?

  I took a step back, but she moved with me, not letting me go.

  “Wait,” she croaked as a tear slipped from her eye. “I still want you. And I want you to have me too. But I can’t promise forever because I don’t know what forever looks like anymore. All I know is I can’t let go of you. Not yet. So please don’t go.”

  “Rogue…” I said heavily.

  “I’m just afraid, JJ,” she said as another tear ran down her cheek and the wind sent her hair flying around her shoulders. “I’m so fucking afraid. You broke my heart once whether you intended to or not and I want to trust you, but it’s not that easy. Everything’s so fucked, but when I’m with you it feels a whole lot less fucked, and I love that. And maybe, hopefully, I can figure out how to give you everything because that’s how it feels when I’m with you. Like I’m just so full of…everything.”

  She turned to clutch onto the railing and look out over the sea to hide her tears from me. I moved up behind her, swiping her hair away from her face and turning her to look at me as I held her and found I couldn’t let go either.

  Of course walking away was impossible. It was Rogue. She owned me and I was just fine with that so long as I knew she wasn’t going to tear my heart from my chest and leave this town again. But maybe she just needed someone to stand beside her, be her rock and refuse to let her leave. I could do that. I’d prove to her that the rug wasn’t going to be pulled from under her feet again, and even if it was, she’d have me to hold onto to weather any storm that came her way.

  I ran my thumb over her lower lip, wiping her tears across it as more spilled down her cheeks.

  “Sometimes you look so fucking alone it breaks me,” I murmured then leaned in to kiss her lips and taste the saltiness of her pain. “I’m here though, pretty girl. And I’m not going anywhere. I promise. So long as you want me, you’ll never be alone again.”

  She tiptoed into my kiss with a sigh of longing, her tongue pressing between my lips and we sealed that promise to each other there and then. It was a commitment of some kind, maybe not the one I’d hoped for, but one that was possibly far more meaningful than anything I’d ever experienced. I’d seen the wounds in her more clearly than before and knew this was what she needed. Time.

  So no matter what happened in the future, I’d find a way to be there for her, I’d be the man I’d wanted to be when I was a boy. And maybe someday she’d see that even if it took eternity for her to heal, I’d still be standing there at the end of time, waiting for her to love me.

  ***

  A tense week ticked by in which every day we expected an attack that didn’t come. We may have been at war and Shawn’s men could strike at any moment, but it was still business as usual while we waited for him to make his first move. And I had to return to work and get as much cash as I could to make up my monthly cut, plus make sure everything at Afterlife didn’t go to shit while I was juggling Harlequin commitments.

  Chase may have been helping me out so I didn’t have to work at the Dollhouse anymore, but there was only so much charity I was willing to accept and the rest I’d damn well work my ass off to earn right on the stage of my club. He couldn’t afford to be spread too thin himself and I wasn’t going to put him in danger of being unable to make his own cut.

  Tonight was the debut of my troupe’s new show and we’d sold out tickets in less than an hour for the event. I’d snagged one for Rogue when she’d asked to come and watch and I was kind of nervous for the performance for the first time since I’d begun dancing. Now she was a Harlequin, Fox couldn’t stop her from leaving the house, but he also gave me direct orders to keep my eyes on her at all times. Which I didn’t mind one bit because most of the time it was more difficult for me to take my eyes off of her anyway. Especially since we’d decided to officially be…something. We were forgoing labels, but I didn’t need to call her my girlfriend to know she was mine. We were just living for the now, and so long as she was in town, in
my arms and in my fucking life, I was counting my damn blessings every day.

  I raced along the roads in my GT toward Afterlife with Rogue beside me and my phone started ringing loudly. I hit the button to connect it through the Bluetooth just before my mom’s panicked voice filled my car.

  “Johnny James,” she sobbed.

  “What?” I demanded in fright, my heart jack-hammering in my chest as I thought of fucking Shawn and the threats he’d made on our town.

  “It’s Greg,” she choked out.

  “The moustache?” I growled.

  “Yes, he turned up at the house and he…he,” she choked on her words.

  “What Mom?” I pushed as Rogue gave me a worried look from her seat.

  “He robbed me,” she rasped and my blood turned icily cold. “I don’t wanna cause a fuss, but I can’t make my rent and the landlord’s been onto me, and now I don’t know what to do and-”

  “What’s his address?” I snarled ferociously and she told me before making me promise I wouldn’t kill him and hanging up the phone.

  “You don’t mind a quick detour, do you pretty girl?” I asked, my grip tightening on the steering wheel.

  “Nope. Go get him, J,” she said firmly and I hit the gas, taking the next right turn and tearing through the town towards Sandy Lane. Greg was just walking out of his house as I pulled up and his eyes widened in fright as he saw me stepping out of my car.

  “Ah!” he wailed, making a run for it, but it was more of a waddle as he fled down the street in the direction of the beach. I let him go, moving to the trunk of my car and popping it open before taking out a baseball bat. When I shut it, Rogue was there, her eyes all twinkly as her gaze raked over me like she was enjoying the show.

  “Shit, Johnny James, you make terrifying look real good,” she said and I couldn’t say I hated the tone to her voice.

  She was wearing a baby pink dress that hugged her curves and had a cut out over her tits which showed off her cleavage, the outfit paired with little white sneakers. Point being, she looked hot as fuck and if she was down for watching me play psycho, I was here for it.

  “Come on, I’m going moustache hunting.” I smirked and she grinned, hurrying along at my side as I strode down the street onto the beach in search of my prey.

  Greg was running along the sand, but he hadn’t gotten all that far and I upped my pace as I stalked him, twirling the bat in my hand.

  “You’re not gonna kill him, are you?” Rogue breathed and I laughed darkly.

  “Why do you sound disappointed?” I teased, then jogged forward after Greg, catching him in a few seconds and whipping my bat through the air.

  It crashed into his ass and he fell down onto the sand with a scream, rolling over and holding a can of pepper spray up in defence. I hit it with my bat and he wailed as I broke some fingers and the can went sailing away into the sea with a distant splash.

  “Hello, Greg,” I said calmly, placing my foot on his chest so he couldn’t get up. “Now help me out here, buddy, because I’m having a memory blip. Wasn’t there something I told you I’d do to you if you went near my mom again?” I toyed with the prick, making him cringe beneath me and start to cry.

  “I d-don’t know,” he sobbed.

  “Oh yes you do, Greg,” I pushed, stabbing my bat in the sand by his head and he flinched. “Tell me now before I get bored and decide to shove my baseball bat up your ass. It’s a real nice baseball bat, Greg, I don’t want to do it. But so help me, I will.”

  “My m-m-m-moustache,” he forced out.

  “What about your m-m-m-moustache?” I taunted him.

  “Y-you said you’d…you’d…”

  “I’d what?” I demanded.

  “R-rip it off and f-feed it to a s-starfish,” he cried, full on fat tears running down his face now. I knew this piece of shit was no good for my momma.

  “That’s it, there, there,” I mock comforted him, dropping the bat as I knelt down and patted his arm.

  His lower lip wobbled as he gazed at me, looking hopeful that I might not be about to attack him. But he was a fool with a moustache, soon to just be a fool. “Now tell me where you stashed the money you took from my mom.”

  His throat bobbed as he swallowed and he took in a shaky breath. “I…I spent it,” he croaked.

  I shook my head sadly. “Oh Greg…Greg, Greg, Greg.”

  “I’ll get it back, Mr Brooks, I swear it.”

  “I believe you,” I said. “And I’m going to need it by the end of the week, Greg, or I’m going to have to rip off more than your moustache. It’ll be double by then though mind, to account for interest.” May as well take what I can get while I’m short on cash.

  He released a fearful noise.

  “Yeah,” I said with a sad smile. “That’s what I was thinking too. Your tiny cock will be next.”

  He whimpered as I reached for his face. “P-please.”

  “Shh, shh,” I hushed him, then moved to press my knee down on his chest and took a switch knife from my pocket. With a sharp cut and a firm yank, I tore his ugly moustache from his face and he screamed like a baby as I stood up and held it between my forefinger and thumb.

  “Here you go, J.” Rogue appeared beside me, taking a doggy poo bag out of her sparkly purse and I smirked as I grabbed it, dropping the moustache inside and tying it up.

  “Thanks, pretty girl.” I wiped the blood off my hand onto my jeans while Greg cupped his face with his good hand, rocking back and forth and crying in agony.

  “End of the week, Greg, or I’m gonna ruin a perfectly happy starfish’s day when it has to swallow down your tiny cock.”

  “What’s with the starfish?” Rogue muttered as I dropped my arm around her shoulders and guided her away from Greg back towards my car.

  I shrugged. “No one wants their body parts eaten by an invertebrate. It’s a man’s worst nightmare.”

  She snorted a laugh and I grinned at her as we made it back to my car and dropped inside. I tossed the doggy bag into the cupholder and made a mental note to get myself a starfish after work tonight. Yep, I’d be going down into the sea outside Harlequin House and yep I’d be using a lamp to find one, because yep, I always made good on my promises.

  Rogue took my hand as I sped up the road and that feeling made me feel like an invincible god. My eyes kept sliding off the street onto her and all I wanted to do was pull over and kiss her until our lungs collapsed. But as I was already late and my troupe were probably losing their shit over where I was, I couldn’t afford the distraction.

  I soon pulled up in the parking lot and Rogue squeezed my fingers in goodbye. “Good luck, I’ll be watching.”

  I glanced around the lot, not finding anyone there before I lunged at her, stealing a kiss as I pushed my hand under her dress and rubbed her clit through her panties.

  “I’m gonna dance for you,” I said against her mouth as she parted her thighs for me and released a ragged breath. “So you’d better remember that every girl in there will go to bed tonight wishing I was fucking them raw and bending their bodies to my will, but it’s you I want. Only you. And when the show’s over, the only fantasies I’m gonna fulfil are yours, sweetheart.”

  I took my hand from between her thighs and leaned over her, opening her door and pushing it wide with a dirty smirk. I withdrew from her and she sucked the taste of me from her lower lip before stepping out of the car and straightening her dress.

  I watched her walk inside, my gaze on her ass and a groan of longing leaving me as Johnny D throbbed in my pants and told me Viagra was not gonna be needed for the show tonight. I didn’t like taking the stuff anyway, but JD wasn’t always up for playtime, especially now he was trying his hardest to make an honest man of himself over Rogue. But he was my performing monkey, and sometimes monkey needed to dance to bring home the cash. He didn’t have to play hide the banana anymore with private clients, so I didn’t know what he was complaining about.

  Being a sex god was hard work, and it wa
s even harder work now that I was only relying on stripping to make ends meet. I’d upped the prices for this show and promised it would make even the straightest of men rock hard. I’d been training every hour I could and whipping my dancers’ asses into shape. They were ready, so if we pulled this off tonight, it was gonna rain dollars.

  I headed in the back door, pulling off my clothes as Texas came jogging over with some oil in his hands. “Cutting it close, eh boss?” He squirted a load into his palms, helping me oil up and Adam jogged over to help too until I was shining.

  I dropped to the floor, doing push-ups naked until I had a good pump on then pulling on my ripped jeans for the first dance of the night. I was opening with Di and she came jogging over in her sparkly silver leotard and high heels as she pushed a black purge mask onto my face.

  “Two minutes, JJ,” she warned as she sprayed water in my hair and slicked it back before pushing a woodcutter’s axe into my hand. This dance was a club favourite, but I’d changed it up tonight, swapping an axe in for the usual umbrella and adding the mask, plus changing out a few moves for some more risqué shit. I was calling it the psychodelic waltz and it was gonna blow minds and soak pussies.

  Lyla’s voice carried from out on stage, telling dirty jokes which had the club roaring with laughter. My heart beat with adrenaline as I thought of Rogue out there and I took a breath to calm my nerves. You do this every fucking week. Buck up, idiot.

  Di towed me to the stage door, smiling excitedly at me. “Ready?” she breathed.

  “Ready.”

  “Let the show begin!” Lyla cried and Di winked at me before running out onto the stage as white laser lights fell on her and the rest of the bar went dark. An ooh sounded as she started up a sexy dance to Eyes on Fire by Blue Foundation and I waited for my moment.

  The lights went off, plunging everyone into darkness and I smirked as I switched on my mask so a frightening face lit up in red with Xs for eyes and a stitched, smiling mouth.

  I swung the axe in time with the beat as the music changed and Twisted by MISSIO cut in instead. I strode out onto the stage, standing with the light at my back so everyone could see me as Di continued to dance in front of me. Gasps rang out as I stalked up on Di in time with the pounding beat then she twirled around mid-pirouette and I caught hold of her, twirling her under one arm before yanking her back against my chest.