Tommyland

by Tommy Lee

  SNOW PATROL

  One of my new favorite bands—wow! To me they are a blend of Radiohead and Coldplay. You all must hear them—you’ll be thanking me later.*

  THE FUNK

  My love of funk was the one thing that separated me from a lot of my bandmates and friends growing up. In the late seventies and early eighties, unless a dude was a drummer, or black, most rock guys had no love for the funk. To me, that music was the black equivalent of the rock I was listening to. It is so musical: There are horns; guitars; amazing, soulful singers; and players that kick ass. I couldn’t stop listening to it: It had great rhythms, it was sexy, you could dance to it, and you sure as hell could fuck to it.

  GOD BLESS THE MASTERS OF FUNKY! HIT ME! IT’S HOT IN THE HOT TUB!

  I JUMP BACK, KISS MYSELF!

  HAAEYY! GIVE THE DRUMMER SOME!

  Funk was the original hip-hop—it was party music, it had a story, and sometimes it had a meaningful social message. I listened to a lot of funk when I was practicing the drums. I’d sit in my room with my headphones on learning funky beats for days, weeks, months, and years. It gave me more of a swing than the other rock drummers I knew, and I’ve used the lessons from the hallowed halls of funk ever since. And anyone who says rock-and-roll and funk aren’t cousins is crazy. I used a fill from the Gap Band’s “You Dropped a Bomb on Me” in “Girls, Girls, Girls.” If you don’t believe me, go listen to both of them right now.

  So without further ado, here’s a list of thanks to my funk professors:

  Prince

  Ohio Players

  Gap Band

  Digital Underground

  Parliament-Funkadelic

  James Brown

  Joe Tex

  Sly and the Family Stone

  ELECTRONIC MUSIC

  It’s such a huge, diverse genre I don’t know where to start. Fuck it, let’s start at the start—with my definition: Electronic music is made by machines, designed by maniacs out there in Gizmology Land (one of my favorite places to be!) who have found a way to make machines capable of doing whatever you want them to. I couldn’t believe it the first time I was shown that a computer could do what I wanted to do to music. I kept thinking, “What? I can program this thing to do whatever I want? Are you kidding me?! Let me at it!”

  I first recorded with computers in 1984, when I was writing songs for the Girls, Girls, Girls record. That’s where “Wild Side” came from. I played a chunky guitar riff and chopped it into sixteenth notes on the computer—because I could. When I heard the result I freaked! And so did my band. That was it—I was hooked. That said, the technology at the time was the biggest reason not to be into it at all. I used an Apple IIci and if any of you computer geeks like me out there remember that ancient piece of shit, it was hell. It took forever because by today’s standards it was as powerful as a really good calculator, and it had shitty sound cards. It was totally wack—but I did not care! Manipulating sound like that was a whole new world to me, and I’ve been discovering how big that world is ever since and loving how it continues to expand.

  The truth is, the human feel can never be replaced because a machine can not reproduce the imperfections, soul, and style of someone communicating feeling like only people can. At the same time, the rigidity of a computer cannot be reproduced either. When you mix both of them together, you create a marriage that yields something completely inspiring and original. It is a union of opposites that allows for so many possibilities and accidents. Whenever I’ve tried new things, like taking a new piece of gear out of the box and fucking with it without ever cracking the manual, I’ve come up with some of the coolest parts I’ve ever written. In my life, as in the lives of so many other artists I’ve spoken to, the coolest things have happened by trial and error—they’ve been those beautiful mistakes that were meant to be. To me that is the legacy of computers and electronic music. Computers have freed up imagination in all the arts, from movies, music, architecture, and design to every creative field you can name. If you can dream it, a computer can make it. And there’s no limit to dreams.

  Anyway, here you go. Here is a list of bands across genres, from industrial rock to dance music to hip-hop, that opened my ears and my soul to whatever new sound was created by smashing human and robot together.

  Nine Inch Nails

  Ministry

  Orbital

  Massive Attack

  Mr. Oizo

  Beastie Boys, featuring my man, Mix Master Mike

  Basement Jaxx

  The Chemical Brothers

  Peaches

  Portishead

  Jay-Z

  Missy Elliott

  Josh Wink

  Adam Freeland

  Daft Punk

  Aphex Twin

  DMX

  Eminem

  Dr. Dre

  HOW TO (SELF) LEARN DRUMS BY TOMMY LEE

  Get yourself some headphones and some cardboard boxes, trash cans and lids—hell, whatever you can destroy without consequences and just play, play, play! That’s how I did it: I put on what I loved, listened, and did it! Here are a few of the albums that taught me what’s what:

  The Sweet, Desolation Boulevard

  Led Zeppelin, ="2%"Physical Graffiti

  AC/DC, ="2%"Back in Black="2%" and ="2%"Highway to Hell

  Cheap Trick, ="2%"In Color

  Kiss, ="2%"Alive!

  Parliament, ="2%"Mothership Connection

  Van Halen, ="2%"Van Halen

  I’ve done my best to dive deep and lay down my earliest influences. These made a huge mark—they got me started and it hasn’t stopped. At this point in my life, there are way too many to list. I am a musician first and still a huge fan second—and I think that’s even more important. I listen to just about everything, except country music (sorry, cowboys—my dad played that shit all the time and kinda wrecked it for me). God bless music and the people who make it. It was always there for me all the times I needed it. It was there for me no matter what was going on, no matter what went wrong, and no matter what I did. It still is and always will be! I will always love you, music, as you’ve always loved me!

  25 STATE OF FAREWELL

  a.k.a.

  YOUR EXIT, MY ENTRANCE

  At forty-one years old, I am at a very interesting point in my life, and I feel lucky to be here. I have learned, I have loved, and after knocking my head against walls of all kinds—some of which I built myself—I’ve discovered who I am and what I want out of life. And you’ll never know what it is! Just kidding. What I want out of life is simple: I want happiness—the kind that keeps your soul warm even when the world around you is cold. I want peace, and I find that in my home and in my mind when I make time to meditate. I want love, and I have found it in so many places. I want family, and I’m lucky to still have my mother, my sister, and my two amazing children.

  For our boys’ sake, I’m happy that Pamela and I have put a lot of our differences behind us. We’re finally able to enjoy what we started: the beautiful babies whom our love brought into the world.

  Healing takes a lot of time and when you’re impatient, it takes forever. She and I loved so intensely that when it blew up, it left scars, anger, resentment—and don’t get me started again on the lawyers’ bills. Finally, finally, finally, she and I can look at each other and say, “What the fuck were we doing, dude? That shit was retarded.” So many people who divorce never get to that point—I’m blessed that we have. I know our boys are happier seeing us together these days. I can see it in their eyes.

  I took them to the X Games last year, with Pamela. We had crazy good seats, the boys were on the dirt-bike track, and there we all are. I’m sure they’re wondering what’s going on, Mom and Dad are there with them, and Mom is kissing Dad and Daddy is kissing Mommy. And my little boy Dylan turns to me and is like, “Daddy, you’re kissing Mommy!” He was trippin’. He looked at us like, “What are they doing?” Right then, Pamela looks at him and says, “It’s okay. I love your dad.”


  I’ve done a lot of soul-searching in the last few years and it wasn’t easy, but it was always worth it. The best way I found to get to the bottom of how I am feeling at those moments is to write myself a letter. It gets my mind open until everything pours out. I’m going to share one with you. It was written as this project was undertaken.

  Hey Tommy,

  I’m writing to tell you that I’m not sure where I am anymore. I know a few things. I’ll never move out of Malibu... until I’m ready to build my dream home in Bora Bora. I’ve been there six times and I will either build a second home there or retire there when I’m ready. Life is still really good for me in spite of all the drama—jail, the custody battles, the courts, the probation. In spite of it, I’m happy for it. I’m learning what I never took the time to learn. I’ve still got hurdles—a lot of them. Life can be so unpredictable sometimes. I’m really confused about relationships in general. Why do they start off so sweet and fresh and turn sour so quickly?

  I’ve really been enjoying being alone for the first time in my life. I play music, I create music, I play with my kids, I answer to no one, and I come and go as I please. I’ve got the space to do more soul-searching and I really need to. All of us desire companionship, but not all of us need it. Those are two completely different animals.

  To tell the truth, I feel a bit lost right now. I’m in my forties. I don’t know if I have the energy to put into a relationship that may or may not work. So far I’ve been through two marriages, one annulment, and one engagement—and here I am. Why should I go down that path again?

  Starting my book has gotten me thinking as I go over the details of my life. I’m reliving my past accomplishments and thinking about my future goals. I’m bringing my mistakes and my lessons out into the light. I’m realizing all over again how extraordinary my life has been.

  That’s it for today. And who knows what tomorrow will bring me, or what I’ll do about it. Don’t worry, I’ll fill you in as it comes.

  Be you, be safe, be good, be what you want, be what you are.

  T.

  This is the end of the ride, ladies and gentleman. Thank you for visiting Tommyland and I hope you enjoyed your stay. I’m sorry to say that all good things must come to an end, and this is where we must part. After the safety bar is released, the door will open automagically. Please take a look around to make sure you have all your belongings and loved ones as you make your way to the exit. For those of you first-timers, do come again, we’re open all year. For those regulars who have a season pass, well, I’ll be seeing you again real soon I’m sure. I’m staying, because after all, I live here.

  Afterglow

  (From the album Never a Dull Moment, 2002)

  One love up above countin’ your blessings, learning the lessons That make you strong, doin’ no wrong to no one What do we do, how do we roll to hit the next level?

  Do you wanna go?

  EPILOGUE: STATE OF AFTERTHOUGHT a.k.a.

  THE AFTER-THE-LAST-

  CHAPTER CHAPTER

  When we set out on this project, my plan was to take a picture of Anthony and me to celebrate the very moment we wrote our last word. Y’all are so lucky I didn’t. We were scaring me. Remember Heaven’s Gate? It was that bad. After months of purging my life’s highest and lowest moments and weeks of staring at nothing but each other lit by the creepy glow of a computer monitor, we were ready for some fucking spaceship to land and for the little green guys to abduct us. They never did. They probably thought about it until they got a good look and whiff of us. We were on a mission and everything else—showering, eating three square meals a day, assuring concerned third parties that we were still alive—none of it mattered anymore. We had to deliver our message. We’d only remember what life was like before when we caught glimpses of the outside world on our way to restock the fort with the essentials: cigarettes, more cigarettes, liquor, frozen pizza, the occasional fresh vegetable, and more liquor.

  Don’t worry, it’s all okay now. We’re done, thank God, because we reek like a marinating loaf of wrong. The test results haven’t come back yet, but I don’t think any permanent damage was done during this experiment. We’re no more insane than we were before, right? Hey, Anthony, we’re no more insane than we were before, right? “We’re insane! Yaaay! Yaay, we’re insane! Yaay!” Dude, I said, we’re not insane. “We’re insane! Yaaay! We’re insane!” Well... maybe Anthony is. We’d better go, he’s not looking so good and he thinks he’s Special Ed from Crank Yankers right now. We’re out of here. Goodbye! And good luck. *

  Although the author(s) stated that the aforementioned stinky self-portrait was not taken, here it is. Therefore, they (we) lied.

  PHOTO CREDITS

  P. ii: Photo courtesy of Isabel Snyder.

  P. 5: Photo courtesy of Isabel Snyder.

  P. 6: Photo courtesy of Dara Blumenhein.

  P. 11: Photo courtesy of Tommy Lee.

  P. 42: Photo courtesy of Tommy Lee.

  P. 86: Photo courtesy of Tommy Lee.

  Pp. 112, 113, 140: Collage photos all courtesy of Tommy Lee.

  P. 209: Photo courtesy of Tommy Lee.

  P. 262: Photo courtesy of Anthony Bozza.

  P. 263: Photo courtesy of Tommy Lee (laptops in studio).

  Flipbook animation by Syndrome Studio, [http://www.syndromestudio.com] www.syndromestudio.com.

  Photo Insert

  Tommy Lee Smoke 1999, photo by David LaChapelle, 1999.

  Tommy Lee, live drum shots, all courtesy of Tommy Lee.

  To’Up Illustration by Eli 5 Stone, 5stone.com.

  Tommy writing, photo courtesy of Justin Jay.

  Tommy in studio singing, photo courtesy of Tommy Lee.

  Tommy crouched on monitor, photo courtesy of Tommy Lee.

  Tommy screaming with knit hat on, photo courtesy of Isabel Snyder.

  Tommy playing guitar/blue lights, photo courtesy of Dustin Jack.

  Tommyland sign at party, photo courtesy of Tommy Lee.

  Tommy/Pamela costume party, photo courtesy of Tommy Lee.

  Tommy naked, photo courtesy of Tommy Lee.

  Still photo from “Hold Me Down” video, photography by Dean Karr.

  Tommy blue photo with cowboy hat on, photo by Brie Childers.

  Tommy with P. Diddy on red carpet, photo by Justin Jay.

  Tommy shadow with horns pointed up, photo courtesy of

  Isabel Snyder.

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  Endless love to my writer Anthony “fo-shozza” Bozza, I want to thank you for helping me purge the truth and make some sense of my life on paper to share with this world. Trust is a big issue with me and it was difficult to open up and trust that you wouldn’t do what so many others have done to me. I thank you!!! Working with you on this book has been quite the experience—you get me, and I get you!! We’ve shared so much … you know more about me than anyone and we’re not even fucking!! … hahah! … Finally … I now have a little brother.

  Big ups to my editors Luke Dempsey and Suzanne O’Neill, my publisher Judith Curr, and all who worked so hard on this epic tale at S&S/Atria. Love to Erin Hosier, my book agent, for keeping us all in sync… . We got one hell of a book on our hands y’all!!

  The true loves of my life Brandon and Dylan Lee (yes, one day Dad will try to explain all this to you boys). I love you Mom and Athena. Mom, we all miss Dad… . I look forward to the day when we all see each other again in heaven. I hope some of this stuff in this book doesn’t freak you out—god at this point I would imagine nothing freaks you out anymore, and if it does or I have caused you any pain, I’m sorry Mom! … I never meant to, and please stop reading those damn tabloids!! Athena, my dear sister, we’ve not always been the closest but know in my heart you’re the only sister I have and I love you so much.

  Thanks to my awesome team for believing in me with their guidance and patience through some crazy ups and downs… . I love you guys… . Without you so many things would not be possible: Carl Stubner, my music and career
manager, who guides the talent flow and locks in the deals; Barbara Berkowitz, my lawyer, who fights in the trenches and always has my back. Gerald Wil Rafferty, Ph.D., my life coach, who always gives me great advice (some of which I actually follow), you will never know how much calmness and hope you gave me when I was at my lowest point in life; you’re truly an angel. Corey Wagner, the hands-on man at Sanctuary, who somehow manages to just get it done. Thanks to David Weise and Christel Layton, who worry about all the details and pay my bills for me and helped clean up some real messes. Thanks to my agents, Mitch Rose and Erin Culley-LaChapelle, and all at CAA for your music and film bookings. Blain Clausen, Nick Lawson, and Jeff Fioretti at Sanctuary … thanks guys for all your hard work.