Sexy Little Liar

by Noire

  Dy-Nasty was turning niggas’ heads too, but it wasn’t because she had her shit together though. Stink-a-Dink had on a too-tight money-green cat-suit, and it was made outta that kind of real cheap material that pulled every which’a way it wanted to. It had a zipper running from deep in her crotch all the way up to her neck, and there was a gold microphone dangling from the end. But Mizz Nasty had only zipped the shit up halfway though, and the tops of her big ol’ titties was jumpin’ out and smackin’ the shit outta every nigga she walked past. I cracked up when Bunni pointed at her ass and giggled. Mami was struttin’ around flossin’ like she was the bizz, when little did she know the seam going up her big booty was crooked and running way over to the right, and the leather on her turned-over heels had peeled down to the cheap white plastic tubing underneath. This bitch was just plain ol’ raggedy!

  The three of us hit the dance floor and it wasn’t long before mad niggas rushed out to get up on us. Everybody knew when you danced with a dude at a club that meant certain shit was already agreed on. It wasn’t about getting in no kinda groove or showing off your dance skills, it was about how much dry fuckin’ you was gonna allow a cat to perpetrate on you. Trust, he was gonna feel on that ass if you let him, and if he could rub his hard dick on you until he busted in his drawers, he would do that too.

  While me and Bunni was out there handling our dance partners, Stink Dy-Nasty was out there handling her bizzness. Them horny mofos shoulda been paying her by the hump because she was straight-up tricking out there! Them niggas was about to fight tryna get next on her. I watched as she stood on one leg and cocked her other one real high in the air. A dude with long dreads stepped up on her and cupped her thick ass with both hands, and she wrapped her leg around his waist and let him mash her shit up right through her skimpy clothes.

  Three songs later me and Bunni went looking for Dane and found him chillin’ at a table with a fat dude he introduced as one of his boyz from college. I could tell big man was scoping on me right away, so I sat down right beside him. Dane stood up and pulled out a chair for Bunni to sit in, but DyNasty came outta nowhere, bum-rushing the shit outta her as she stole Bunni’s chair and plopped her ass down next to Dane.

  Bunni laughed and shook her head. “A’ight now, Loosie-Goosie!” she sang out a warning as she moved one chair down. “You must not know ’bout me, you must not know ’bout me!”

  Dane’s friend was cute in the face but chubby.

  “Wus good, wus good! Y’all ladies doin’ okay tonight?” he said, staring all up in our mugs. “I’m A.T. and I got the next round of drinks, cool? So what’s y’all names? Who we got here?”

  Somebody just had to get stupid with it.

  “Don’t worry about who they is! I’m Dy-Nasty.” She showed him all her teeth and flung her sweaty horsetail over her shoulder. “And when I’m on the scene don’t none of these other bitches matter!”

  Bitches? That’s two.

  A.T. laughed with her, but me and Bunni’s faces was straight-up stone.

  “Seriously though,” he said and looked back and forth between me and Dy-Nasty. “Y’all two are sisters, right? Prolly twins, huh?”

  “No!” we both blasted on him at the same damn time.

  We looked at each other.

  “I don’t even know her!” we said together again.

  “Shut your ass up.” She frowned and rolled her eyes.

  “No you shut the hell up!”

  “C’mon, now,” Dane cut in. “We came out to party, right? So y’all chill with all that hostility for a minute. Y’all fuckin’ up my high.”

  A.T. bought me, Dy-Nasty, and Bunni round after round of drinks, and all three of us showed him how long our throats could get. I figured since somebody else was paying I might as well drink from the top shelf, and I chugged back Courvoisier and Coke while Bunni drank Cîroc and cranberry juice, and Dy-Nasty sucked down shots of Bacardi 151 straight.

  We had sparked up a couple of blunts when a nice slow jam cut by Uncle Charlie Wilson came on. Dy-Nasty musta really been feeling her liq because outta nowhere she snatched Dane up and yanked him out on the dance floor. There wasn’t nothing sisterly about the way she was out there grinding him down, and her wide ass moved like a rollercoaster as she grabbed his waist and worked those hips all over his dick.

  “See, that right there ain’t right,” Bunni muttered, grilling Dy-Nasty’s bomb booty with much ’tude. She started chewing her gum all reckless and poppin’ it between her back teeth real loud. “That shit right there just ain’t right.”

  “What a skank-ass skeezer,” I said as I twisted my lips and stared at her too. Mami was puttin’ it on Dane, going in on him like he was her boo, and I could see why Bunni was mad. Shit, she had been working Dane her damn self, and here this bitch was tryna throw damage in her game.

  “I’ma fuck her up,” Bunni said quietly when the song was finally over and Dy-Nasty and Dane started walking back to the table grinning and laughing together. “Yeah, I’ma straight fuck her up.”

  I heard the Harlem hoodrat in her about to slip out.

  “Hey now, Dane ain’t your man,” I reminded Bunni. “Y’all might fuck around a lil bit, but he ain’t your man.”

  “He ain’t hers neither!”

  “Whew!” Dy-Nasty said as she came back to the table and wiped some sweat off her face. She picked up her purse and laughed. “That shit felt good as hell! We gotta do it again when we get home tonight, Dane, okay?”

  She tipped off toward the bathroom with her monster-booty catching mad eyeballs as she tossed it left and right.

  Bunni was burning on fire. “That bitch needs her ass kicked!” She jumped up from her chair. “I’ma get her, Mink! I’ma split that ho’s melon! I’ma take her top square off!”

  I stared at my best homey and narrowed my eyes. I felt a ghetto battle royal coming on and I was ready to snatch out my earrings and kick off my heels. “Yo, is you thinkin’ what I’m thinking?”

  “Hell yeah!”

  “Well c’mon, then, babeee!” I jumped up and cracked my neck from side to side. Fuck waiting for that Philly troll to call me bitch number three! “Let’s get kick some ass then, Bunni Baines! Leggo!”

  There were plenty of gutta chicks primping for the mirrors in the dirty little bathroom, but me and Bunni was about to roll up on one in particular. There was a long line waiting for just two stalls, and we stalked from the background until it was Dy-Nasty’s turn to go inside the one on the right. As soon as that skank took two steps toward the stall, me and Bunni bum-rushed from the back of the line and busted through the swinging door right along with her.

  “Yeah, bitch!” Bunni pony-rode Dy-Nasty into the stall and slammed her forehead against the wall over the toilet. “I’m tired of your stank ass!”

  We got to fucking her ass up! Mad chicks started screaming and hollering like they had never seen a fight before. DyNasty screamed out in surprise too, but only for a quick second. When she realized she was getting jumped she started throwing blows too, trying her best to get hers in before we took her down.

  And don’t get it twisted, we took that ass down! I snatched her by her ratty little ponytail and banged her in her nose, while Bunni went to work pile-drilling her with body shots, punt-kicks, and karate chops like she was bare-knuckle fighting in a cage.

  The cubicle was too small for all three of us and we were swinging so hard and wild that we were banging our knees and elbows all up against the walls. Yanking her horsehair down and back, I yoked Dy-Nasty up and dragged her outta the stall with her crazy ass kicking and scratching the whole way.

  Chicks scattered out of our path while they screamed and cheered. Some for us, and some for Dy-Nasty. That dirty rat scratched me on my arm and I scratched her right next to her ear. I slung her ass all over the place as I jerked her by her weave. It must have been sewn in or gummed up on her scalp with some superglue, because even though there were plenty of random strands sliding out and billowing down to the
floor, why that whole raggedy shit just didn’t snap off in my hand, I don’t know.

  We fought our way outta the door and into the narrow hallway, and the next thing I knew two security guards were grabbing at my wrist tryna separate us and force me to let go of Dy-Nasty’s hair. One of them giant-sized nigs clenched his big hand around the back of my neck, and then he clamped down on Dy-Nasty’s neck the same damn way. We squealed and almost dropped to our knees as that nigga dug his fingers sharply into our throats and made us choke and see stars. We scratched his hands bloody as he hurled us through the crowd and toward the front door. The other bouncer manhandled Bunni and tried to push her ass outta there too.

  We were almost out the door when the big bouncer got stupid and banged me and Dy-Nasty’s heads together, clapping our domes until they vibrated like a pair of cymbals. Without a word, we spun around and ate his ass up, swinging wild hay-makers and tryna claw his eyeballs outta the sockets with our nail tips. The dude who was handling Bunni let her go so he could come help his boy, and what did he do that for because Bunni jumped in it too. We rat-packed his ass! We fought like a trio of men, punching, biting, and scratching until they tossed us out the door and all three of us landed outside on our asses.

  Dane came busting out the door right behind us, and he helped us stand up and hustled us across the street.

  “Damn Three the Hard Way! What the hell happened in there?”

  Our shit was hit. Dy-Nasty’s zipper had ripped and her jumpsuit was hanging wide open, the strap over my shoulder was torn and my dress was flapping free at the top, and Bunni was limping on one foot because she had lost one of her shoes.

  “What the hell happened in there?” Dane repeated. “Why y’all had to get so ill?”

  “Ask her,” Bunni pointed at Dy-Nasty and rolled her eyes. “That dirty bitch started it.”

  That Philly trick had the nerve to throw it all on me.

  “Nah, don’t be asking me shit! She fuckin’ started it!”

  “Uh-uh baby,” I said, looking down at the strands of horsehair that were still tangled between my fingers. “Mizz Mink didn’t start it, mamacita, but I damn sure finished it!”

  CHAPTER 19

  I got up with the chickens the next morning so I could get an early start on my grind. Even though my head was still bangin’ I was gonna go upstairs and snuggle in that big bed with Selah and let her hold me the way she liked to. I figured we could call down to the kitchen again and have the cook bring us up some French toast, and this time I would even eat a lil bit of that dog food-lookin’ corned beef hash just to make Selah happy.

  My morning breath was still kickin’ hot from last night’s yak, and I ran in the bathroom to brush my teeth real quick. Bunni was snoring in her room next door, and after I brushed my brights and gargled with some cinnamon Scope, I slipped on my cute mint green Baby Phat bathrobe and slid my feet into the sweet little slippers that matched.

  The sun was just coming up and the mansion was creepy quiet as I ran up the circular staircase and headed toward the far wing of the house. My feet were silent as they sank into the plush carpet, and the smell of lemon air freshener greeted me in the halls.

  Even though it was real early I knew Selah would be up. And even if she wasn’t up yet, I knew she would be glad to see me. Yeah, she had kinda fronted me off and played me a little chilly in front of everybody, but how could you expect somebody to act when they had just had the shit shocked outta them?

  Probably the same way I acted when I knocked on her bedroom door and got the shit shocked outta me!

  I knocked twice real soft. My mouth was kinda dry as I pressed my ear to the door, and I coulda sworn I heard voices coming from inside. I bit my bottom lip and frowned. Chill your ass out, girl. It’s prolly just the TV. I knocked again, a little bit harder, and Selah’s voice rang out real loud and clear.

  “Come on in.”

  I pushed the door open and took three steps inside, and then I straight-up froze.

  “Oh!” My eyes bucked open and my heart jumped way down into the pit of my stomach.

  That bitch. That dirty, rotten, grimy bitch!

  Dy-Nasty was laid up in Selah’s big old bed. On my side. In my spot! And with that stringy, nasty, ghetto horsehair of hers spread out all over my pillow!

  I swallowed my shock and surprise. A re-run of Survivor was playing on the DVR. “Oh, sorry. My bad. I didn’t know you already had company.”

  “Yes,” Selah said coolly as she walked over to where DyNasty was laying, “but come on in, Mink. What gets you up so early this morning?”

  My eyes swept over the room and landed on the half-eaten plate of food on Dy-Nasty’s end table. There was a piece of crust leftover from some French toast and the smell of maple syrup was in the air.

  “Nothing,” I said, tryna play it off.

  “Okay, hold still,” Selah said like she didn’t even hear me. She leaned over Dy-Nasty and I saw she had a Q-tip in her hand. “That’s a real nasty scratch on your pretty face, baby. Don’t worry,” she said as she dabbed some kinda ointment on Dy-Nasty’s jaw where my nails had raked her. “This is the good stuff so it won’t even sting.”

  That goddamn faker! She had the nerve to close her eyes and wince in pain like somebody had sliced her damn throat open or something! “Thank you, Mommy,” Dy-Nasty cooed like a sweet little girl, and as soon as Selah turned around to throw the Q-tip away, Dy-Nasty flashed me a grin and shot me the finger too.

  “I guess I better go back downstairs,” I said, feeling some kinda way inside. And it wasn’t just because I was all of a sudden having to go head-up and compete with Dy-Nasty neither. That part was easy. Nah, this thing kinda felt like jealousy. ’Cause ever since this trick right here showed up it seemed like Selah had forgotten all about me!

  “Okay, baby. We’re leaving for Houston in a few hours,” Selah reminded me offhandedly. “I’ll see you then.”

  That heffah didn’t try to stop me from leaving or say nothing else, so with pain in my heart and my ass dragging down to the floor, I dipped.

  “Never let ’em see you sweat,” Bunni advised me later that morning when it was time for us to leave for Houston. “Stop whining and fix your damn face, Mink. Your ass gots’ta be fly and flouncy today. Get on up outta that bed and throw on something real slutty. I want you to show your tits and your teeth today, ya heard?”

  I shrugged and rolled over in the bed and punched my pillow. “I ain’t getting up. I don’t feel like going.”

  Bunni broke. “You don’t feel like going? What in the hell wrong wit’chu? Don’t tell me you lettin’ that raggedy hood chick punk you out! We came down here to work, baby. To stack some paper and get some cheese, girl! Since when Mizz LaRue don’t feel like making her no money?”

  I understood where Bunni was coming from but after seeing Dy-Nasty all up in Selah’s bed like that I had come downstairs and got straight up under my covers, and now I didn’t wanna move.

  “On the real tip, I don’t see what the damn problem is anyway ,” Bunni hollered as she turned around and stomped toward her bathroom. “So what Selah likes Da-Nasty’s ugly ass better than she likes you? You came down here to gank yo play-mama, remember? Not marry her ass! The only thing you need to be worrying about is passing that damn DNA test again. We still ain’t found out which lab they’re gonna use.”

  I groaned into my pillow. The DNA test was another big problem I was facing. Uncle Suge and Dane were supposed to find the new lab and work out a big-money deal with the management to make sure I was a match, but if that shit fell through then me and Bunni could just bend over and kiss our black asses good-bye because Dy-Nasty was gonna be rollin’ around all in our dough.

  I got up and started putting my clothes on. Bunni had said I should go slutty, but I decided to put on a cute pair of jeans that were dark navy and dressy, but fit the humps of my ass like a real thin glove. I topped up with a cherry-red spandex shirt that had a deep V-dip in the front and in the back, and t
he word DIVA centered in diamond studs. I styled my bright red Glama-Glo with the thick spiral curls, and put on an elegant diamond necklace that I had boosted and a pair of earrings that matched.

  I didn’t feel like putting no whole lot of makeup on my face, so I just slapped on the basics. A little mascara and some pretty red lip gloss. I slipped on my navy-blue Cha-Cha sandals with the cute diamond-studded buckles on the sides, and I was ready to dip.

  I had never been one for hospitals and I didn’t see why we had to go back to see Viceroy all the damn time, but Selah said the doctors wanted to discuss giving him some kind of experimental drug from China that was used as a brain stimulator for people who were in deep comas. “And besides,” Selah also said, “I’d like Viceroy to have a chance to meet Dy-Nasty. This could be his last opportunity.”

  Trust me, I was all about exploiting opportunities when we got on the Diva Dominion and went to take our seats. Any other time my ass woulda flew straight to the back to try to sit with Bunni and Dane, but this time I made sure to get the seat next to Selah. She gave me a big smile that made me feel a little better, but my mood got sho’nuff busted again when she patted the seat on the other side of her and waved Dy-Nasty over, and then told Barron to go sit in the back with his brother.

  It was a real short ride, but for some reason it seemed like we was up in the air forever and ever and ever. The whole time we were flying I sat there with my arms folded and my lip poked out as Selah and Dy-Nasty igged me and went on and on and on talking about those damn reality shows just like I wasn’t even there.