The Junkyard Druid Box Set 2

by M. D. Massey

  Freed from its constraints once more, the creature renewed its efforts to reach the Druid Oak. Despite the partial paralysis caused by the Grove’s toxic thorns, the god-spawn’s speed was only slightly reduced. It simply shifted those areas that were paralyzed up to its back while bringing the unaffected areas to its underside. There, those areas were repurposed to provide the creature with a means of locomotion. New legs sprouted from the thing’s chest and belly, and then it was off to the races once more.

  Well, shit.

  I had to act and fast, otherwise the beast would reach the Oak and begin devouring it—and that would really put a damper on my plans for a Welcome Back to Austin party.

  Oak, tell me something—that thing said it had ninety-nine stomachs. How many hearts does it have?

  The Oak sent me back an image of a small copse of trees that numbered in the dozens.

  Crap. Okay, how many brains does it have?

  The image that came next was of a single, small sapling. Jackpot. I chuckled when I realized the significance of the Oak’s message.

  I guess that tells me what you think of the god-spawn’s intelligence.

  I immediately received an image of a panda, one of the world’s dumbest mammals.

  Damn, that’s cold. Now, show me where it is.

  A minute later, I was standing in front of the god-spawn, my hands extended outward in supplication as I prepared to put my plan into action. If my calculations were right, this Thing would provide sufficient mass to restore the Grove’s teleportation and dimensional travel abilities. In other words, if I took it down we’d be back at the junkyard in no time flat. My intended course of action to accomplish that feat was both risky and dangerous, but I was desperate to get home.

  “Oh great and mighty, er, Thing—”

  “You may call me Throdog Uh'enyth ot Soth,” it said, interrupting me.

  “Er, can I shorten that to just Throdog?”

  “I will allow it, considering that you only possess the most rudimentary organs of vocalization. Continue.”

  “Oh great and mighty Throdog, it has come to our attention that you are more powerful than us by many degrees—”

  The Grove sent me an image of a dog pissing on a tree.

  “—and that we are not capable or worthy of opposing your all-powerful and ever-resolute will.”

  Now it was an image of a dung beetle pushing a turd ball up a hill. The beetle lost control of its payload, and the ball of crap and the beetle both tumbled back to the bottom of the mound.

  “Obviously. Go on.”

  “For these reasons, if it pleases the great and mighty Throdog, we have decided to sacrifice ourselves willingly. In this way, by providing ourselves as sustenance to your supreme wickedness, we hope to establish some small bit of meaning for our utterly ephemeral and ultimately futile lives.”

  “As I said, inevitable. I shall devour you forthwith.”

  An image appeared in my head of a dodo bird walking off a cliff.

  I knelt and bowed my head, hiding the smirk I fought to keep off my face. “If it pleases your puissant intransigence.”

  Although I kept my head bowed to maintain the ruse, I “saw” the god-spawn rolling toward me through my link to the Grove. As it neared me, a huge gaping maw appeared that split the creature from the ground and up its side to a height of ten feet or more. The newly-formed cavity was lined with numerous long, razor-sharp teeth, and within its depths a slimy black tongue lapped at the air as if it were tasting its next meal.

  The creature continued to advance, and it took every last ounce of my self-control to avoid attacking it outright. The mouth loomed over me as the god-spawn raised itself up so it could gulp me down in one bite.

  Now!

  As that cavernous mouth enveloped me, the Grove covered me with a thick protective layer of bark-like skin, just as it had done to protect me from the shambler. I figured if Throdog took several millennia to digest something my size, between the bark and my Fomorian hide, it’d be a while before the acids in its digestive tract did me any harm.

  I hope.

  Once the jaws closed, the creature’s massive tongue pushed me to the back of its mouth. Then, it swallowed me. Peristalsis did all the work after that, pushing me farther and farther into what served as the creature’s alimentary canal.

  Ugh, I can’t even smell or see and I can tell how disgusting it is in here.

  I had no idea which of its ninety-nine stomachs I would end up in, but that was not my concern. What did concern me was where I ended up in relation to the god-spawn’s central processing unit. Hopefully I’d be within striking range, because I seriously doubted there was any sort of ambient atmosphere in here. While I could hold my breath for extended periods when fully-shifted, I could only hold this form for so long. That meant I might only get one chance to kill Throdog.

  Better make this count.

  Just as it had previously, the Grove provided me with a sort of three-dimensional view of the world around me. However, the primary information it provided me this time was the location of Throdog’s brain—a dark, football-sized mass that was surprisingly small for a creature so large. As the smooth muscle that lined the thing’s esophagus pushed me further toward Throdog’s center, the black, crenellated object neared.

  As I slid closer to the god-spawn’s brain, I readied myself for my attack. The Oak had formed the bark-skin so the ends of my fingers and toes were sharp and claw-like. It wasn’t the ideal weaponry, and certainly not my first choice for such a task, but it’d have to do. I waited patiently, allowing myself to be pushed through Throdog’s esophagus until I was parallel with the vulnerable organ.

  Then, I attacked.

  Turning sideways inside Throdog’s throat, I jammed my feet against one side of the slimy shaft and thrust my arms in the opposite direction. As I did, I extended my fingers like spears, so the sharp projections on the ends pierced the soft, smooth membrane like knives. Upon penetrating the surface layer of the god-spawn’s throat, I met some resistance from the muscle on the other side. I pushed harder, making my entire body a single rigid structure.

  As expected, the irritation I caused made Throdog’s throat muscles spasm. But rather than crushing me, instead it forced me further through the side of the beast’s throat. Immediately, I began clawing and tearing at the muscle and cartilage holding me back from my intended target: a quivering mass of fat and neurons not more than ten feet away.

  By this time, I was free of Throdog’s throat, but making progress now was like swimming through greasy latex rubber. I had to tear through muscle and connective tissue to fight my way ahead, pulling myself along inch by tedious inch. It didn’t help that the god-spawn was going nuts all around me, and I hated to see what was happening to the Grove at the moment.

  Still I pressed on, for what seemed like an eternity. Throdog’s bulk pressed in on me, and if I didn’t know any better I’d have sworn he was trying to squeeze me to death. My lungs and muscles were on fire as my body cried for oxygen. I began to fade in and out, and it was all I could do to keep myself from taking a breath.

  But finally, I reached my destination. Throdog’s brain was dead ahead, encased in a thick, cartilaginous membrane. The tiny brain was obviously the god-spawn’s only weakness, and I was pleased to see that it was woefully under-protected. The obvious play was to rip through the cartilage to get at the fatty tissue and nerve clusters beneath, but I knew that I’d likely pass out before I could cause enough damage to kill the huge, amorphous god.

  Thankfully, I had a better plan.

  I simply sliced a hole through the protective membrane, one large enough to allow me access. Then, I thrust my hand inside Throdog’s “skull,” and released the lightning spell I’d prepared before I’d allowed the god-spawn to swallow me. Electricity crackled and arced from my fingertips, spreading in all directions and striking the delicate nervous tissue in multiple places. Throdog’s brain reacted to that insult just as a human brain would,
by burning and short-circuiting as the many synapses inside the organ overloaded.

  What I hadn’t accounted for was the effect it might have on the rest of Throdog’s anatomy. Electricity tends to release heat energy very rapidly when it meets with resistance, and in this case it was enough to instantly boil approximately one thousand gallons of god-spawn blood. Considering that water expands at a factor of 1600:1 when it turns from liquid to gas, it was easy to see where I screwed up. Add to that the volatility of Throdog’s blood—because who knew what unknown elements were present in the blood of a god—and the effects were rather explosive.

  And that’s how you give a god an aneurysm—shit! was the last thing that went through my mind, right before approximately 15,000 cubic meters of fledgling Outer god exploded all over my Druid Grove.

  4

  Sometime later I awoke, curled up beneath the Druid Oak and nestled within a cozy bed of leaves and grass.

  Nice to know the Grove was looking after me while I was out.

  My muscles were stiff, but that could’ve been the result of lying in one position for an extended period of time. I sluggishly gave myself a once-over to determine if I’d suffered any serious injuries from the unexpected explosion of the god-spawn.

  Once I verified that yes, all my parts were present and in the proper place, I checked to see how the Druid Grove was getting along. A quick visual scan of the surrounding area indicated that the Grove and Oak had wasted no time putting Throdog’s remains to good use. I saw no trace of the disgusting creature’s blue-black flesh, rubbery tentacles, cilia-like legs, or multitude of eyeballs.

  Connecting with the Druid Grove through our mental link, I asked it for a situation report. It replied with a string of mental and emotional impressions, as well as a number of mental images, all of which together indicated that the Druid Grove had almost completely recovered. We were headed home.

  Since I’d been stranded in the Void with the Druid Grove, I’d asked it many times what had happened to Jesse after I’d unintentionally claimed the Grove. Based on its replies, which usually amounted to images of caterpillar larvae in cocoons, birds in nests, and baby animals snuggled all cozy inside their dens, I had to assume that the Oak had transported her someplace safe. Physically, I knew she’d be safe—but mentally? I could only hope that she’d be able to recover from the trauma of being forcefully separated from the spirit of the Druid Oak.

  Despite my misgivings, and whatever grudges I might have held against my ex for tricking me, I still considered it priority number one to check on Jesse and make sure she was okay. So, I instructed the Oak to take us directly to wherever she was just as soon as the Grove was capable of inter-dimensional travel. The tree replied in the affirmative, so I sat beneath it engaged in meditation while patiently awaiting the time at which we would finally be headed home.

  When the hour finally arrived, there was no fanfare, no advance warning, nor even a message from the Grove to tell me we were about to traverse the normal boundaries of space and time. Instead, I felt a mental nudge from the Grove that roused me from my meditation, then the Druid Oak sent me an image of the junkyard and my bedroom inside the warehouse.

  How the damn thing knew what the inside of my bedroom looked like was beyond me. Perhaps when we’d become mentally linked it was able to see and experience my memories secondhand. Or maybe it possessed sensory abilities that allowed its awareness to venture far and away from its physical location. If I had to guess, I would say it was a combination of the two possibilities. The Druid Oak and Grove were certainly not entities limited by any of the dimensional boundaries or physical laws that tied the typical human to a single temporal location.

  Notably, the Druid Grove and Druid Oak were two interconnected, but separate entities—of that I had no doubt. It had taken me a while to suss that out, but after being connected to the Grove while in the Void, I came to realize that the Oak was the progenitor of the Grove. Much like a child is born from its mother’s womb, the Druid Grove was for all purposes the offspring of the Oak. The two were connected but separate entities, each with their own “mind” and personality.

  In fact, they were so thoroughly connected that I often found it difficult to determine where one ended and the other began. Certainly, I could communicate with each separately and simultaneously and task them with different purposes and functions. Yet, the delineation between the two was both fluid and elusive.

  If I had to put their relationship in practical terms, the Druid Oak was the power, and the Druid Grove, its expression. It was a simple explanation—obviously the relationship and interconnection between the two was likely much more complex and nuanced than I currently understood. Yet for now, my limited understanding would at least allow me to interact with them in meaningful ways to pursue our mutual goals and needs.

  Time to go find out what happened to Jesse—and see if she’s still crazier than an outhouse rat.

  I stood, unraveling my legs from the lotus position and shaking them out to encourage circulation and deal with my residual muscle soreness. Then I laid a hand on the bark of the Druid Oak, apologizing for the hundredth time for damaging it and placing us in such a dangerous situation. The Druid Oak sent back feelings of warmth and encouragement. It was incapable of holding a grudge against its master—who could hold a grudge like nobody’s business.

  When a sentient magical construct is a better person than you are, you know you have issues.

  After thanking the Oak for its gracious attitude and helping to keep us safe, I requested to be sent Earthside, back to the junkyard. I no longer had the need to walk widdershins around the Oak’s trunk in order to travel to and from the Grove. Now that our connection was complete and whole, it took but a thought for me to travel from that little pocket dimension back to my home on Earth.

  As I appeared in the junkyard, standing beneath the expansive reach of the Druid Oak’s foliage, I was greeted by a rather peculiar sight. There in front of me, emerging like a sprouting seed from the rich dark earth, was Jesse. She lay on her side, curled up and naked as the day she was born. It occurred to me that she was effectively being birthed from the earth beneath the oak tree, just as if she were a nascent dryad rising up from the soil that gave her life.

  For a moment I paused. Although she looked human, I wondered if she really had been made fully human again. Or perhaps she still remained partially or even fully dryad—and therefore, partially or perhaps fully insane.

  I’d barely finished that thought when her eyes fluttered open and she took a sharp intake of breath. Then, a single word escaped from those cherry blossom lips I once knew so well.

  “Colin?”

  It’s funny how a heart can break in an instant. Mine broke for her in that moment, seeing her so vulnerable and alone. It had been easy to maintain a level of distrust and animus toward Jesse when she was a dryad. Now, however, she looked very, very human—and very much like the young woman I once loved.

  And still love? I guess the jury’s out on that.

  “I’m here, Jess,” I replied.

  Despite my misgivings, I immediately began to attend her needs. I pulled a jacket out of my Craneskin Bag, one of the few mundane items I’d chosen not to feed to the Grove, and draped it across her shoulders as she sat up. It was still nighttime in the city, but based on the position of the stars, it’d be morning soon. If I had to guess, I’d say that we’d returned to the junkyard within a few hours of the time we’d departed.

  Jesse pulled the jacket around herself and shivered, then tucked her hair behind her head self-consciously, her eyes avoiding mine. “Colin, I—am I alive?“

  “Let’s just get you inside, alright?”

  She nodded, and I lent her a hand as she stood on shaky legs, like a newborn foal taking its first steps across the meadow. Jesse leaned against me, hesitantly at first and then with greater confidence as I walked her to the warehouse and my room in the back. The door had been left open, the light was on, and Belladonna
’s perfume still lingered in the air.

  Thankfully, my bed remained intact. Although it was probably time for an upgrade. I’d pulled the rusted old bed frame from a pile of scrap in the yard. Ed had called the rust “patina,” which still made me chuckle. I’d never move out of here, not if I could help it, because doing so would be abandoning my uncle’s memory. Still, my lifestyle could definitely use an upgrade.

  Jesse cleared her throat, and I realized I’d allowed my mind to drift. I shook off those stray thoughts and guided her to the only chair in the room.

  “You should sit down,” I suggested. She obliged, for lack of any other option. I grabbed a blanket off the bed and covered her with it, then pulled a bottle of water from my dorm fridge and handed her that as well.

  She still wouldn’t look at me, choosing instead to sip at the bottle of water as her eyes darted around the room. “You’re sure I’m alive?”

  “Yes, Jesse. As far as I can tell, you’re alive and human again.”

  Jess shook her head. “Something’s wrong. I’m—seeing things.”

  “It’s probably just a residual effect of being made human again,” I offered.

  “I had no idea that things would turn out this way,” she whispered. “The Dagda offered me a chance to be with you again, and I took it despite the consequences. I’m sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused.”

  I really didn’t know what to do with myself in the moment, so I plopped down on my bed and followed her lead by avoiding eye contact. “Jesse, there’s a lot that needs to be said, but right now I have to know—”

  “Do I feel human?” She shrugged with her shoulders slumped and knees together, like a small child awaiting punishment. “I am, at least as far as I can tell. But there’s still a little magic there—something that was left behind when I was separated from the Druid Grove’s spirit. The question is, am I fully alive?”