Baby's Breath (Garden of Love 2)

by Melanie Wilber

  Be still and know that I am God.

  She clung to the only thing she knew for sure at this point. God loved her and He knew her needs. She had to trust in that. Last month she felt like He was saying, ‘Mark is a good man. You need a man like him, but he’s not the one. I have someone else. Let Mark go, and I will be faithful to you. Be still and know that I am God. Believe Me. Trust Me. Wait on Me.’

  She heard the same words now, and she surrendered herself to His promise. Her tears began to subside, and she immersed herself in the presence of her loving heavenly Father. Her God. The giver of all good things. Her source of peace and joy.

  Taking a sip of her iced tea, she spotted a figure moving out of the corner of her eye, startling her slightly. Her handsome new neighbor stood on his own balcony. In the darkness of the night, she watched him lean his forearms across the railing and gaze out over the river.

  Swallowing the cool liquid in her mouth, she wondered briefly if he could be the man God had promised her. Wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, he lifted his face to the moon, and she could see his handsome features plainly. His clean-shaven face, dark hair, and broad shoulders made for a striking appearance. She could not deny her attraction to him. The memory of his brown eyes meeting her own made her take another deep breath.

  But she quickly dismissed the idea. Just because he was the first new guy she had met since letting Mark go didn’t mean he was the one, and she didn’t know anything about him. Furthermore she noticed him holding something small between his index finger and thumb. Watching until he held it at the right angle for the dim light to reveal its shape, she realized it was a diamond ring.

  Looks like he’s about to get himself engaged. That figures. All the decent ones are taken.

  What am I thinking? I don’t even know him!

  He clasped the ring in his fist and retreated back inside. She sat for a few minutes more, her imagination over her intriguing neighbor getting the best of her. So far her resolve to put him out of her thoughts hadn’t materialized and seeing him for a second time tonight wasn’t helping matters.

  She stood from the chair and moved to the railing, trying to calm her heart and wondering what she would say if her neighbor returned. He would be sure to see her now. She imagined having a normal conversation with him, one that she didn’t act like a stupefied idiot. Get a grip, Josie.

  She returned her gaze to the river, feeling a slight breeze dance with the ends of her hair. Lights lining the wooden docks of the marina reflected in the water, and she found the image mesmerizing. She often stood out here at night, enjoying the peacefulness of the secluded location.

  Someone walking on the path below caught her eye. He was wearing a white T-shirt. Her breath caught in her throat again, and as much as she willed herself to go back inside, go to bed, and put him out of her mind once and for all, her feet remained glued to the balcony.

  Her eyes followed her neighbor down the sidewalk, past the RiverPlace Hotel, and along the park’s edge where he stopped at a popular lookout point. She wondered if he had plans to meet his soon-to-be fiancée there. That didn’t seem likely considering the late hour, but she knew he must have some purpose for being out. Forget only wanting to know his name, now she wanted to know him--who he was, where he had moved from, what he did for a living. Why she cared, she had no idea.

  He looked into his open palm. Was he holding the ring? She couldn’t tell for sure, but he stared at it for a long time until his hand closed into a fist. After a brief hesitation, he flung his arm forward, tossing something out into the black water.

  He stood motionless and she did the same, her feet clinging to the concrete slab beneath her. When he turned around and began walking back, she knew if he were to look up he would see her standing there.

  The light of a street lamp revealed his tear-streaked face when he was almost directly below her. Feeling that she had invaded his privacy, she stepped back and turned away to go inside. What am I doing spying on my neighbor? This is not who I am!

  In her hastiness she bumped her knee on the metal plant stand. She stopped a cry of pain from escaping her throat and tried to grab the teetering pots closest to the edge, but it was too late. The plants fell to the ground and made a loud crashing sound at her feet.

  Turning her head to peer through the metal bars of her balcony railing, she saw her neighbor stop. He lifted his eyes toward her. She froze and held her breath.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  After Josie crawled into bed at one o’clock in the morning, the memory of her neighbor’s upturned face through the balcony railing kept her awake. She had spent an hour sitting on the couch after coming inside, expecting him to knock on her door any moment. He had not.

  She did not feel well-rested in the morning, and after getting Tommy off to school, she went back to bed. She slept until one-thirty, had a light breakfast of orange juice and a blueberry muffin, and went for a long, brisk walk along the waterfront.

  The sun felt warm, but a slight breeze coming off the water kept the temperature comfortable. A good walk always helped to clear her head and usually left her feeling refreshed, but today she couldn’t erase the events of the previous day. She didn’t know what to do about seeing her neighbor throw that ring into the water or about his offer to come to one of Tommy’s soccer games.

  Conventional wisdom told her she should wait until she got to know him better before encouraging him to spend time with her son, but she knew that if Tommy continued to want to invite him sooner, she wouldn’t be able to refuse.

  Having witnessed him tossing that ring presented a bigger dilemma. If he had seen her from the ground as she feared, her next encounter with him could be awkward. She decided to wait for him to mention it, rather than invading his privacy any further.

  She heard the phone ringing from the hallway when she returned to her apartment. She opened the door and hurried inside to pick it up.

  “Hello?”

  “Hi. You sound out of breath.”

  “Hi, Faith,” she said. “I just got in.”

  “Do you have a minute?”

  “Sure. What’s up?”

  “You’re working this weekend, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’m afraid we can’t have Tommy stay with us tomorrow night. Patrick has this office party he can’t get out of,” she said without enthusiasm. “We’re getting a sitter for Aleisha and Lindsey, but we won’t be back until late.”

  “I’ll check with Mrs. Ramsey. If she doesn’t have any plans I’m sure she won’t mind,” she replied, hoping that was true. Normally it wouldn’t be a problem, but she hadn’t heard how Vivian’s doctor’s appointment had gone yet.

  She usually took Tommy to her brother’s house on Friday nights when she had to work. Patrick and Faith lived twenty minutes away. Tommy would spend the night there and then she would go over on Saturday afternoon if she wasn’t too tired, spend a few hours with Tommy, and then go back to the hospital.

  “Have you heard from Natalie?” Faith asked. “Isn’t she supposed to be coming this week?”

  “Oh. I forgot to call you. She’s in Spain.”

  “Spain?”

  “She got another assignment as soon as she returned and had to leave right away. She’s planning to be there for a month.”

  “Wow! That’s great.”

  “I have to admit I’m a bit surprised. When she told us she was taking a leave of absence from her job to start taking photography assignments, I thought she was nuts!”

  Faith laughed. “Patrick thought so too. But that’s fantastic she’s doing well. She is a great photographer.”

  “I know. I’m happy for her, but I do hope she can come visit soon.”

  “I’m sure she will.”

  Josie hoped Faith was right. Natalie hadn’t lived in Portland for eight years, but she had always come to visit on holidays, for Spring Break, and during the summer while she was going to college at Stanford, and also during her subsequent years as a
high school teacher in California. Not seeing her since last March made Josie feel like they were losing touch. They had always been close and had remained so even with Natalie living far away, but she didn’t know how their relationship would stand up to Natalie’s world-traveling venture. Keeping in touch overseas had been more difficult than living in the same time-zone had been.

  “How’s your week been?” Faith asked, sounding subdued. The last time they had spoken was the night Josie had told her about breaking up with Mark.

  She didn’t want to talk about that subject right now, however. Hesitating slightly, her mind returned to her encounters with her neighbor instead.

  “Interesting,” she replied.

  “Yeah?”

  Josie wished she hadn’t hinted at anything, but now that Faith knew she had something to share, she had to follow through.

  “I have a new neighbor, and I ran into him the other morning--literally.”

  “A new neighbor, huh? This sounds good. What’s his name?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “You met him, but you don’t know his name?”

  “It’s a long story,” Josie laughed, cradling the phone between her shoulder and her ear while she filled a glass with cool water from the kitchen tap.

  “I’ve got time,” Faith said.

  Josie told her everything. After she finished with the scene from the balcony, she plopped into a kitchen chair, holding her forehead in the palm of one hand.

  “I have never been so embarrassed.”

  “Are you sure he saw you?” Faith asked.

  “He looked right at me.”

  “Wasn’t it dark out?”

  “Yes, but the moon was bright, and the lights inside my apartment were on.”

  “He could have been looking toward the sound of the plants falling over but didn’t know where it came from,” Faith reasoned.

  “You could be right,” Josie sighed. “But I can’t be sure, and I’m dreading seeing him again.”

  Faith didn’t respond immediately. She had always been a good listener and didn’t try to fix things or give pat answers that were great in theory, but not realistic. She always gave sound advice. For the last seven years, Faith had been the closest confidant Josie had.

  Faith and Patrick had been there for her when they had learned of her pregnancy and that Kent didn’t want any part of it. Patrick had called her dorm room at Oregon State out of the blue the same evening Kent had walked out on her. She hadn’t planned on telling her brother or anyone else about her condition until she figured out what she was going to do, but she suddenly felt the need to tell someone. Only concern and love came from his heart, penetrating her soul like water poured into dry sand.

  “Do you think you’ll go back home to live with Mom after graduation?” he asked after they had been talking for quite some time.

  “I don’t think that’s such a good idea. I’m not sure how to even tell her.”

  “Come stay with us,” he said. “We have plenty of room.”

  His offer brought tears to her eyes. “I can’t do that,” she said.

  “Why not?”

  “Patrick, I appreciate the offer, but--”

  “You can’t go through this alone, Josie. Please, let us help.”

  “Have you talked to Faith, Patrick? I’m sure she won’t--”

  “Hi, Josie,” Faith’s voice had interrupted. “Forgive me, but Patrick asked me to pick up the portable extension, and I’ve been listening. I jotted down a note to Patrick a few minutes ago. We’d love to have you.”

  Josie remembered wondering what kind of sister-in-law would offer such a warm invitation. Later she had learned Faith worked as a volunteer at a center that offered help to women facing unexpected pregnancy, something she still did. Not once in the hour-long conversation with her brother and Faith had Josie detected any condemnation in their words or tone, only genuine love and compassion pouring from their hearts.

  Josie accepted their offer, moving into their guest room after graduating from Oregon State. At that time she was considering giving the baby up for adoption and then continuing on with her plans to attend medical school, but later she had changed her mind.

  She had lived with them for almost four years, and they were supportive, always willing to help her in any way they could. When she decided to go to nursing school, instead of continuing with her original plan to become a doctor, Faith took care of Tommy during the day and helped her out in the evenings so she could study.

  “Can I ask you something, Josie?”

  Faith’s voice brought Josie back to the present. “Sure.”

  “Why is this bothering you?”

  Josie didn’t want to admit the reason, even to herself. “I don’t know,” she said, fingering the groove in the center of the table.

  “Do you want to get to know this guy better, and you’re afraid you’ve blown any chance of that?”

  If the words had come from anyone else, Josie would have laughed and attempted to deny any such thing, but she knew Faith never said anything flippant or unfounded. Josie couldn’t brush her aside.

  “I don’t know,” she whined. “It’s only been two weeks since Mark left. I shouldn’t turn around and get involved with someone else right away, should I?”

  “Probably not, but if he did throw a ring into the water, maybe he could use a friend right now. I’m not talking about getting engaged to the guy,” she laughed. “He’s probably not looking for anything any more than you are.”

  “Haven’t you heard of rebound relationships?”

  “Be yourself and stop stressing. Is God in control or not?”

  “I know. You’re right,” Josie replied, checking her watch. “I need to get going or I will miss Tommy’s bus. Thanks for listening.”

  “Okay. I’m sorry about tomorrow, but we’ll see you Saturday, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “Okay. Bye.”

  On the way down to the bus stop, Josie couldn’t stop thinking about what Faith had said. Although she hadn’t admitted the intensity of her feelings to her sister-in-law, Josie knew she had been hoping for a chance to get to know her neighbor better. Despite her best efforts to deny any such thing, she hadn’t been able to get him off her mind since meeting him on Tuesday morning.

  I should at least get to know him. If Faith is right about him not looking for a relationship either, then we could be friends without either of us expecting or wanting anything more.

  ***

  When Josie arrived home from work on Saturday morning, she saw some messages waiting on her phone. The first was from her mom, calling to let her know she had heard from Natalie and had a message to pass on. Spain was hot but beautiful, and she would be there for several more weeks. She had left a number at the hotel where she was staying for a couple of days, and Josie jotted it down.

  Josie’s relationship with her mother had improved in the last few years. She wished her mom hadn’t moved away but understood her reasons. After a painful divorce from her father and many years of bitterness, her mom had remarried, and moving to southern California with her new husband was a part of helping her to move on. Josie made a mental note to call her back sometime this weekend.

  The second message had also been left the previous evening:

  “Hi, Josie. This is Ellen Walker. I wanted to call and remind you about the youth programs starting this Sunday night since you weren’t able to come to the meeting. I gave your name to the youth pastor, and he has you working with the junior high girls again this year. I hope that’s what you told me you wanted to do. If it’s not, please call me, and I can make a switch. Kindergarten through second grade will be meeting in the fellowship hall, and the youth group will be meeting in the multi-purpose room. If you have any questions don’t hesitate to give me a ring. Look forward to seeing you there.”

  She had enjoyed being a team leader for a group of sixth, seventh, and eighth grade girls last year at Central Emmanuel Church, and s
he welcomed the starting-up of the program for the new school year. Sunday was the one night she didn’t ever have to work. Tommy enjoyed the program for younger children too.

  Josie tore off the piece of paper with Natalie’s phone number and posted it on her small cork board next to her lighthouse wall calendar, trying to figure out when would be a good time to call and then retreated to her room and the comfort of her bed. She allowed herself to sleep until one-thirty in the afternoon. Although Mrs. Ramsey didn’t usually watch Tommy on the weekends, the dear woman had told her to get all the rest she needed. Josie could have used more but didn’t want to tie up Vivian’s entire day.

  She tried calling Natalie before she left to pick up Tommy. Natalie’s voice sounded groggy.

  “I’m sorry. Were you sleeping?”

  “Yeah, but that’s okay. It’s not that late here. I went to bed early. I have to get up and catch the sunrise tomorrow.”

  They talked for a few minutes and then Josie let her go. Hearing Natalie’s voice made her feel better, and she promised her she wouldn’t worry about her traveling alone on the other side of the world. She knew Natalie was used to it, but Josie had a hard time thinking of her as a twenty-six-year-old rather than her kid sister.

  She met her longtime neighbors Rick and Angela in the hall and admired their new baby, who at three months looked much bigger than the newborns she saw on the job. He smiled and cooed at her before she turned away. Continuing on to Mrs. Ramsey’s apartment, she picked up Tommy and asked Vivian about her doctor’s appointment.

  “He gave me a new prescription that’s working better than the last one. I’m as fit as a fiddle.”

  Josie took her at her word. Vivian did look better and seemed to be getting around fine. “Take care of yourself,” she said before they left. “We’ll see you on Tuesday.”