Baby's Breath (Garden of Love 2)

by Melanie Wilber

  “I knew I wanted to do something in health care, and nursing seemed like the best choice for me considering my situation. I wanted to work in L & D from the start because of the nurse I had during my labor. She encouraged me the whole way, even during my caesarean. I knew I wanted to be a nurse like that and make a difference--to help other women through childbirth the way she had helped me.”

  “It must have been tough taking care of a baby on your own,” Amy said. “I don’t think I could have without Wesley.”

  Amy reminded Josie of Faith in many ways, and she opened up to her easily. “It was difficult, especially when I started nursing school and had to be away from him more. But my brother and his wife helped me out a lot, so I didn’t have to do it all alone,” she replied. “What I can’t imagine is having two boys.”

  Amy laughed. “It is a challenge,” she said. “Jake is a firecracker. Some days it’s all I can do to keep my sanity.”

  “Does Wesley work a lot?”

  “Unfortunately, yes. I know it allows me to be at home with the boys, but some days are long. It’s nice to have a break today.”

  “I hope I’m not interrupting your day off,” Josie said.

  “Oh, no! I long for adult conversation. Sometimes living out here in the country makes me feel sheltered. It’s wonderful to have you here this weekend. I mean Sharon is great, but it’s nice to have someone my age, you know?”

  Josie wanted to open up to Amy about Brandon, but too many things held her back. I barely know her. She doesn’t want to hear my problems. She wouldn’t understand.

  “Josie? Are you okay?”

  “What?” she said, not realizing she’d drifted away.

  “I lost you there. Are you all right?”

  “Yes, I’m sorry. What did you ask me?”

  Amy repeated her question, and Josie replied, burying her concerns about how Brandon would treat her when he returned. Josie felt like she had known Amy for years instead of only two days, and they continued talking for more than an hour about everything from muddy soccer games to scrapbooking.

  Amy showed her some of her latest projects. Amy had a different style to her photo layouts and wrote a lot more on the pages than she did, giving her some new ideas to try.

  “I love the fancy lettering you use on a lot of your pages. Do you use a computer to do that?” Josie asked, looking at a large caption Amy had pasted above a snapshot of Eli and Jake at the lake.

  “Yes. I just use a regular word processing program. Do you have a computer?”

  “No.”

  “You should ask Brandon to let you use his. It saves me a lot of time,” Amy replied, then laughed. “Actually I bet if you mention it to him, he’ll buy you some fancy program that has everything you would need and more to make fantastic pages.”

  Josie smiled. Yes that did sound like something Brandon would do--that is, if they were still together. She continued looking through the rest of the album but began to feel uneasy, knowing Brandon and his brother were due back soon.

  Coming across a photograph that had been taken last Christmas of Brandon’s entire family, including some faces she did not recognize, she wondered if the girl standing next to him was Kristin. She had never seen a picture of her. She scanned the names below that Amy had carefully printed in her own handwriting.

  She saw Kristin’s name next to Brandon’s, confirming her suspicion. Fortunately Amy had gone to the kitchen to pour them some fresh tea, giving Josie a moment to study Kristin’s features. She had medium-blond hair and appeared to be average in height and weight like herself. Brandon had said he thought she was pretty and Josie agreed. Kristin had shining eyes and a beautiful smile. Josie didn’t understand why Brandon had such strong feelings for her but had not felt the same about Kristin.

  Josie noticed someone else in the picture she recognized. Brandon’s aunt Ellen stood with her husband, Bob, in the back row of the large group. Amy returned to the table with the steaming cups, and Josie decided to ask her about something that kept returning to her mind.

  “Sharon mentioned something earlier that puzzled me. We were talking about me working nights, and she mentioned Ellen, her sister, like she was comparing us or something. Do you know why?”

  “She must have meant before Ellen was married. I think she worked as a waitress.”

  “Yes. That’s what she said.”

  Amy hesitated before responding. “Ellen had a child when she was nineteen and lived with Sharon and Jim until she married Bob a few years later. Did you know that?”

  The sound of the phone ringing startled Josie. She was still trying to process Amy’s words. Brandon’s aunt had been a single mom too?

  Amy’s voice brought her back. “Yes, she’s here. Would you like to talk with her?”

  Josie knew it must be Brandon on the other end of the line.

  “Okay, we’ll see you in a few minutes.”

  Turning back to her, Amy announced that “the boys” were back from town and on their way up.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  Josie washed her hands at the bathroom sink and gave herself a pep talk. She had already heard Brandon’s voice along with the thumping of three sets of small feet entering through the front door. Drying her hands on a blue towel, she glanced at herself in the oval mirror. Go out there. Act natural. Come on, Josie, you can do this.

  Returning to the family room, she saw two sets of eyes fall on her. Both Brandon and his brother were in the room, but Wesley quickly looked away. He knows. Shifting her eyes to Brandon, she could not read his pensive expression. Hurt? Anger? Indifference? She stopped in front of the staircase, unable to step any closer.

  Now she wished she would have been in the room when they had arrived. Tommy could have provided a good diversion, but he had already tromped upstairs with Eli and Jake. Amy had left the room also. Josie heard her voice coming from the hallway upstairs.

  “I need to get some wood for the fire,” Wesley announced rather awkwardly and disappeared through the back door, leaving the two of them alone in the large room.

  Standing twenty feet away from Brandon, Josie did not want to look at him again. All her carefully rehearsed words were gone. She brushed some imaginary lint from her jeans and considered grabbing her coat and running for the door.

  “Hey, Sleeping Beauty.”

  She had been prepared for a fight, or for silence, but the tenderness in Brandon’s voice pierced through all her defenses. Continuing to avoid his eyes, she swallowed the lump in her throat.

  “You should have gotten me up earlier.”

  He stepped toward her, taking slow but continuous strides. “I saw no reason to. Although, the temptation to break the spell with a kiss nearly got the better of me.”

  She looked up. He kept moving closer. Her whole body felt stiff and immovable. He smiled, walked to within a few inches of her, and reached out his hand to stroke her cheek. Tears stung her eyes.

  Amy’s voice interrupted their moment. “We fed them before they left,” she said halfway down the stairs, oblivious to their conversation. “But they say they’re hungry. Would you two like something?”

  Brandon dropped his hand but didn’t step away. “Are you hungry?”

  Josie shook her head, not trusting her voice.

  “I think we’re good, Amy,” he said over his shoulder and began steering her toward the door before she could protest. “I think we’ll go for a walk.”

  “Okay, have fun,” Amy hollered from the kitchen.

  Brandon grabbed her coat, and they stepped out the front door. He helped her put it on and squeezed her shoulders. She swallowed hard and blinked back her tears. How could he be acting like nothing had happened? Why was he being so loving and gentle when he should be sending her away?

  Brandon led them to a trail winding into the wooded area surrounding the house. The path was wide enough for them to walk side by side, and he took her hand. Neither of them said anything. Josie’s feet kept moving her forward despi
te the fact that she felt like turning around and running the other way. She heard the sound of rushing water getting closer with each step.

  They came to what looked like the end of the trail. Right at the edge of the soil Josie saw a narrow path zigzagging down a steep slope. He dropped her hand, and she followed him, stepping carefully until they reached the creek. The air felt damp and cooler than up above, and she pulled her coat tighter around her.

  He took her hand once again and led her along the water’s edge. She didn’t have gloves on and his hand warmed her cool fingers. Not knowing what to say, she remained silent and carefully navigated the damp and rocky trail as he walked more expertly beside her.

  Eventually he stopped and turned to face her. She kept her eyes on the ground until he lifted her chin gently with his index finger.

  “Was last night a mistake on my part, Josie? Have I assumed something that isn’t there?”

  She didn’t know how to answer that.

  “I don’t want to rush you into something you don’t feel ready for,” he said. “I just thought maybe you were. I’m in love with you, and I thought you were feeling the same.”

  She had been prepared to spout off any of a dozen reasons she had come up with for telling him no, but she couldn’t tell him she wasn’t in love with him. That would be a lie.

  A tear spilled onto her cheek and there was no place to go but into his arms. He didn’t demand an explanation. Time stood still, and she let the tears fall. Feeling safe and secure once again, as if nothing stood in their way, she wanted the moment to last forever.

  “Oh, baby,” Brandon said, kissing the top of her head. “The last thing I wanted to do last night was push you away. I’m sorry.”

  You’re sorry? What do you have to be sorry about? Telling me you love me? Asking me to be your wife? I should be the one apologizing.

  “Come here, I want to show you something,” he said, releasing her and leading her further up the creek bank to a tall fir tree with a wide trunk. Josie’s eyes caught the remains of a tree house nestled high above the ground.

  “You’re not going to make me climb up there, are you?” she wavered.

  “No. That is in need of some serious repair. Wes and I spent countless hours up there when we were growing up. Mom was always telling us to be careful. I think she and Dad had a few discussions about him letting us build it so high.”

  “I can’t say I blame her,” she said, craning her neck to look at the broken and missing boards.

  “Over here,” he said.

  She followed him around the massive trunk covered by patches of green moss. He pointed at some jagged scar lines on a section of relatively smooth bark.

  “Is that a heart?” she asked, cocking her head to one side, trying to make out the irregular carving.

  “Can you see the name inside of it?”

  Stepping closer, she examined the letters. “A-M-Y,” she deciphered. “Did Wesley carve this?”

  “Yes,” he replied, smiling and shaking his head. “We were supposed to be doing chores, and Dad sent me to go look for him. I found him here, carving her name inside that heart.”

  “How old was he?”

  “Sixteen. Amy had just moved here and had been at church that morning for the first time. Once he saw her, he never had eyes for any other girl.”

  “They started dating when they were sixteen?”

  “No. It took my brother two years to ask her out, but he knew all along he wanted her.”

  Josie smiled at the thought. How romantic to have your name carved into a tree the first time a boy had met you and then to be in his thoughts for two years before you even knew about it?

  “Now come over here,” Brandon said.

  Josie stepped over a large moss-covered root sticking out above the ground and followed Brandon. When he stopped, she looked up to where he pointed. There, etched into the bark, she saw another heart. This one appeared fresh and clear. Her own name inside of it stared back at her.

  “When did you do this?” she asked.

  “This morning.”

  “This morning?”

  He nodded.

  Looking from the carving to Brandon, she didn’t know what to say. He leaned against the tree and faced her. Avoiding his intense stare, she scanned the rest of the tree’s bark. “How many other girls’ names did you put on here?”

  “None. That day I saw Amy’s name on here, I decided I would do the same thing when I found the girl of my dreams. Until a few months ago, I hadn’t met her and I knew it.”

  He reached out and stroked her cheek with his thumb. “You are the one for me, Josie, and I want you to know that, but we don’t have to rush anything, okay?”

  Tears threatened to spill over at his tender words, but she blinked them back. He doesn’t know what he’s saying. He hasn’t thought this through. How can I show him how wrong he is?

  “Josie, I know what I did to Kristin was awful, and I can understand why you would be hesitant to say yes.”

  Josie tried to digest his words. Does he think this is his fault?

  “You don’t have to give me an answer right now,” he continued. “I was so eager to ask you to marry me that I didn’t stop to think how shocked you might be. I’ve had this planned for two weeks, but I expected you to decide in two seconds. That wasn’t fair to you.”

  He took her into his arms before she could respond. Not that she knew what to say anyway.

  “I’m not going anywhere, Josie. But I will give you all the time you need to believe that. Please forgive me for springing this on you when I knew you were already overwhelmed with meeting my family.”

  Josie remained silent, too dumbfounded to speak. Brandon thought she had said no because she didn’t trust him? Nothing could be further from the truth. The thought that he might back out if she said yes had never crossed her mind.

  “Will you?” he asked.

  She tilted her head to look into his face and took a step back. “Will I marry you?”

  “No,” he laughed. “Will you forgive me?”

  “Oh, of course,” she heard herself say. She wanted to tell him he had it all wrong. That her reaction last night had nothing to do with his past and everything to do with her own. But she didn’t know how.

  “I know this isn’t how things are normally done, but I’m going to make you a deal,” he said, reaching inside the front of his coat and pulling out the ring from an inner pocket. Holding the shiny band in his open palm, he continued.

  “It’s yours whenever you want it. All you have to do is ask.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  The drive home on Monday evening proved to be much milder than the trip three days earlier, both in relation to the weather and in Josie’s heart. Following their talk down by the creek, she and Brandon had spent the remainder of the weekend simply enjoying one another and the time with his family. No more talk about marriage came from either of them, although Josie found it constantly on her mind. At times she felt like she was only pretending: playing the part of Brandon’s girlfriend and fooling everyone into believing that she was happy and perfectly content in their relationship. Until she would catch herself living completely in the moment and realize she wasn’t pretending. It was real.

  Last night before kissing her good-night outside the bedroom door, Brandon had said, “I will miss having so much time with you when we get back. I never get tired of being with you.”

  “I will miss it too,” she said. And she meant it.

  Arriving at their building, Brandon pulled into the parking garage and brought the truck to a stop in his assigned space. Josie removed her seat belt and turned around to see Tommy sleeping in the back seat. She realized why it had been quiet for the last ten minutes.

  “He asleep?” Brandon asked.

  Josie met Brandon’s gaze and nodded. He smiled and leaned toward her, kissing her as tenderly as always. All weekend his kisses had made her feel like crying. This one was the worst yet. How could
she possibly let go of this man? But how could she let herself hang on?

  “Did I mention that I love you?” he teased, stroking her cheek with his thumb.

  “I think you did,” she replied, recalling several times he had said those words since the first time on Friday night. She hadn’t told him the same yet, even though she knew she did.

  “I’ll carry Tommy up,” he said, kissing her on the cheek one last time before opening his door.

  Josie grabbed one of her bags from the back along with a sack of Christmas presents.

  “I’ll come back and get the rest,” Brandon said, lifting Tommy into his arms and heading for the building.

  Josie closed the door and followed him. Tommy had his arms wrapped around Brandon’s neck, and his head rested gently on his broad shoulder. Josie sighed at the sight of Brandon holding her son in such a loving and fatherly way. Maybe she didn’t deserve Brandon, but there was no doubt in her mind that Tommy did.

  Taking the elevator to the fourth floor, they walked side by side down the hallway, and Josie opened the door to her apartment. Brandon took Tommy to his room. After putting her suitcase and the bag of gifts away, she returned to the living room and thanked Brandon for offering to bring up the rest of her things.

  “Do you want me to grab your mail too?” he asked from the open doorway.

  “Sure,” she replied, reaching for her purse and taking out her keys. She handed them over, and Brandon gave her a quick kiss before disappearing into the hallway. She went back to check on Tommy. Brandon had already removed his jacket and shoes and tucked him in.

  Josie sat on the edge of the bed. For so many years she had dreamed of her son having a daddy. Someone to play video games and kick a soccer ball around with. Someone to read with him and tuck him into bed at night. She knew Brandon would do that and so much more. Once again she realized her own mistakes could cost him from having the best of everything.

  She was still sitting there when she heard Brandon return. Quickly drying her eyes, she went to meet him and said he could leave everything by the door. She would unpack later.