Tucking the phone in his back pocket he said, “I need to go.”
“Booty call?” I said with a snarky tone. He busted out in laughter as he dragged a hand over his mouth. I kept a straight face, purposely.
His laughter waned when he saw that I didn’t find amusement in my comment. “Do you really want to know?” His voice had a disdaining tone, and I reminded myself what The Raven was known for.
I’m such an idiot.
“Hey, whatcha doing?”
I turned at the familiar sound of my roommate. “Delaney, I um… was just, we were…”
“I was just leaving.” Raven stood up.
Delaney looked at Raven and then at me. I had to say something before any questionable thoughts could form in her mind. “This is Raven Davenport. Raven, this is my roommate, Delaney.”
They shook hands and I watched Delaney give her classic introduction which included batting her thick eyelashes coupled with a sexy twitch of her shoulder.
Half a minute later she said, “Oh, your Raven. The football player.”
He inclined his head. “Yes, among other things.”
The flirting never seemed to end. And to make matters worse, Delaney was falling for his antics, too. But I knew if given the opportunity, she would gladly toss her panties at him. Hell, if I had to guess, she wouldn’t even wear any.
“So I’ve heard...” she trailed off in a girly giggle.
Raven put on his jacket with finite moves, and I struggled not to watch every muscle flex underneath his cotton Henley shirt. He flipped the collar down and glanced at me with an impish grin. “See ya Tuesday?”
As much as I hated to give in, I found myself smiling back at him. The guy was freaking irresistible. “Yeah, see you then.”
Delaney and I stood, shoulder to shoulder, waving as the gorgeous hunk walked out of our dormitory.
Reason number 12 - I liked the way Raven made me feel.
“Holy shit.” Delaney flung around and latched on to my arms. “What was he doing here?”
“He forgot his jacket.”
Her eyes widened. “What?”
“Ow. Nails.” I pulled away. “You’re digging your nails into me.”
“Oh, sorry,” she said, releasing her grip.
I looked around and saw a few students sitting in the corner with their books spread across a table. Even if they were studying, I didn’t want to take a chance. “I’ll tell you upstairs.” We walked toward the elevators.
“You’re getting back late from Greenville.” I glanced at my phone and it showed fifteen until midnight. “Where’s your stuff?”
“Oh, I um got back around eight but grabbed a bite to eat with a friend.” She crossed her arms and turned around, avoiding eye contact with me. I knew she’d done more than go out to eat.
“You should have at least brushed your hair and fixed your makeup,” I teased.
“What?” Delaney used the phone on her camera to finger-comb her sex hair and check out her swollen lips and full beard blush.
“Come on, who were you with?” I nudged her as the elevator doors opened and we stepped in.
“Huh? N—o one. It’s windy outside.” The elevator doors shut, and she quickly changed the subject. “Why did you have Raven’s jacket? And why were you two texting earlier today?”
“I went—”
“And why were you drunk? I mean, that’s good, you’re finally loosening up. And Collin? Are y’all still together?”
“Laney!” I motioned for her to stop. The doors opened and I bailed out, pulling her with me as I made a B line to our rooms, not giving her a chance to ask anything else.
I unlocked the door and we stumbled in the room. “Tell me. I’m dying to know.”
Falling on the couch, I grabbed a throw pillow and clutched it to my chest. “Let’s see, I’m not supposed to tell you this because of client-student confidentiality—”
“I promise, I won’t say anything.”
With hands on her hips, she stood waiting for me to say something. “I’m tutoring him.” I finally admitted.
“What?” She sat down beside me, crossing her legs underneath her. “You’re tutoring Raven Davenport?”
“Yes, as of two weeks ago.” I picked at the nail polish on my nails, determining what I should or shouldn’t confess. “It wasn’t my choice, believe me. Dr. Phillips practically forced me to help him.”
“Damn, you are so lucky.” She sighed as her eyes glazed over.
I started laughing at the expression on her face, and it didn’t take long for her to join in. “Okay, I admit he is damn fine, and he makes me so nervous. But honestly, once you get to know the guy, he’s really fun.”
“Yeah, I saw that.”
I gasped, releasing the pillow from my death grip. “Saw what?”
She waved a dismissive hand in the air. “Relax. I heard y’all singing your hearts out as you played. At first, I didn’t think it was you because I didn’t recognize the guy, but as I waited for the elevator I zoned in and realized it was your voice. When I went to see, you had stopped and that’s when I approached you.”
I sucked in a deep breath. “Oh, good.”
“Why, did something else happen? Oh. My. God. You didn’t kiss him, did you?”
Giving her a less than playful slap on the arm, I said, “Of course not.”
She shrugged. “Hell, I would’ve.”
I rolled my eyes. “Yes, I know you would have. But did you forget,” I sighed again, “I’m engaged.” I held up my left hand, and showed her my ring. Then it dawned on me. Had Raven seen my ring? If he did, he didn’t say anything about it. Then again, maybe he didn’t care.
Lowering my hand, she shot me a meek smile. “Tell me everything. And I want details.”
I pivoted my body and faced her. Once I got started, I couldn’t stop. I spilled my guts, sparing no details from the time we met until tonight. It was a relief but nerve wrecking at the same time. Never had I been so honest with her, but I couldn’t keep this to myself any longer. I needed a sounding board and with someone that had experience with guys. Delaney was more than qualified. I even explained how I had continued to entice Collin, and without fail, how he pushed me away.
“I’m a horrible person.” I buried my face into my hands, feeling the pangs of guilt rush over me. “Collin’s a good guy.”
Removing my hands, she said, “Yes, he is and you need to have a come to Jesus talk with him because what you’ve been doing isn’t working. I already told you that you better make sure y’all have an unfailing love for one another before you say ‘I do’, or you will end up miserable and eventually divorced.”
I nodded. “I know. I owe that to him.” I picked up my phone, noticing I had two missed calls from my parent’s house but nothing from Collin. “He wasn’t very happy about me getting drunk and falling at the restaurant today. He said we needed to have a chat, but he hasn’t bothered to call or text me.”
“Looks like you’re going to have to take the initiative.”
“I guess.” I sat my phone next to me.
“But I will admit one thing.”
“What’s that?” I peeked at her through the strings of hair hanging in my face.
“I’ve never seen your eyes sparkle like the way they did when you were talking about Raven.”
“What?” Heat swamped my face.
“It’s obvious you like him.”
I closed my eyes and tried to convince myself that I didn’t, but the heat only intensified and the smile refused to go away.
“If a guy makes you that hot and bothered, then there’s no denying it.” I opened my eyes and shrugged. “But I’m going to warn you — Raven has a bad rep, and he’s probably not the best guy to fall for — that is unless you’re just looking for some dick.”
I coughed, choking on my spit. “Laney!”
She held up her hands. “Just saying.”
Not once had I thought about his penis, but now that she’d mentioned it, I couldn’
t help but wonder what was behind those jeans.
“I’m sure he has plenty of it too… mm,” she rubbed her hands together like she was preparing for a feast.
“Stop.” I fell onto the mounds of throw pillows behind me. “You’re killing me,” I cried, in between laughs. “Man, it’s been one helluva day.” I heaved another big sigh.
She stood up and tossed a throw pillow at me. “But it’s been your best day yet.”
***
Before I went to bed, I typed Collin a long text, pleading for him to forgive me. I stayed up half the night, tossing, and turning as I waited for him to reply but he never did. At 7:30 am I received a call from my mom. She lectured me for at least half an hour as I made up excuses for my inappropriate behavior. I waited impatiently for Collin to acknowledge my message, checking every few minutes as I kept her on speaker mode. I wished my mom and I had a relationship where I could talk to her openly about things, but we didn’t. She wouldn’t understand what I was going through with Collin. In her mind, he was the perfect guy for me and could do no wrong. She might have been right, but unless he showed me loved, I wasn’t convinced.
As soon as she hung up, I rushed to shower so that I could make it in time for my 9:00 am class. It was the only class Collin and I had together, and although I dreaded seeing him, I knew avoidance wasn’t going to solve anything. I put my clothes on, grabbed a cereal bar and a glass of juice, and rushed to get ready.
As I dried my hair, I kept a steady eye on my phone, waiting to see if he would respond. But my text was the last thing shown on the screen. I applied a little makeup, not caring if I looked like death because nothing would hide the dark circles. I slipped out of the dorm, careful not to slam the door and wake up Delaney. I walked across the lawn, still checking my phone every few minutes until I entered Scharbauer Hall. The building buzzed with students, rushing to arrive to their class on time. I zipped my way through the crowd, eager to talk to Collin before class started.
Sitting in his usual spot, Collin kept his face down, nose deep in a book. Easing into the seat behind him, I kept quiet, waiting to see if he would speak first. But he didn’t.
I leaned forward and whispered, “Collin, did you get my text?”
His head rose, but he stayed facing the front of the room. He gave a slight nod and then returned to reading his book. I slumped against my chair. In the six years that I had known him, I had never endured this much silence. There was one time we argued about me working once I graduated if he happened to land a baseball contract. It didn’t end well, and he gave me the silent treatment for a few days. I figured that my Mimosa episode would garner the same kind of response, if not worse.
Professor Garza walked into the room and placed his bag on the chair. A hush fell over the room as he began to speak in Spanish. I waited patiently to see if Collin would text me during class, but he kept his attention on the instructor the entire time. I thought about tracing my name on his back with my finger, but reasoned with myself that would probably be a bad idea since we sat in the middle of the room and near the front.
An hour later class ended and the students filed out of the room in a rush, including Collin.
“Hey, Collin, wait up.” I tossed my books in my bag and tracked after him. “Slow down.” I called after him but he continued to ignore me. “Can we talk?” I said, finally catching up to him.
He kept walking, not bothering to make eye contact with me. “Right now is not a good time, Lexi.”
I zipped up my jacket, protecting myself from the brisk breeze as I tried to keep up with him. “It seems like you never have time for me.”
He stopped momentarily. “Sorry, school and baseball are my first priority.”
I felt a piece of my heart crumble. But I managed to keep the tears from falling. “I thought I was supposed to be first.”
He shifted and let out an audible sigh. “You make it really difficult for me.”
“I’m not trying to. All I want is your love, can’t you see that?” I pleaded with him.
“And you have that.” A perplexed expression formed across his face.
“But I don’t see it or feel it.” I searched his face for any trace of a sign. “I feel like were just friends.”
“What?” He moved to the side, allowing a few students to pass. “I’m working my butt off, trying to land a contract with a team, not to mention do well in school in case that doesn’t happen, all to support you.” His green eyes flared a deeper color. “If that’s not showing you how much I care for you then you must be blind.”
“Thank you, I appreciate all you’re doing for us.” I reached for his hand, but he jerked his hand away. “Please don’t touch me right now.”
“Okay, fine.” I crossed my arms. “All I’m saying is I need to feel your love, so a little attention would be nice.”
“Is that why you got drunk? To get my attention?”
I shrugged and stared at the ground.
“Because that’s the wrong way to get it,” he huffed. “My parents are very disappointed in your behavior and so are your mom and dad.”
“You called my parents?”
He glared at me openly. “Yes.”
“How could you?” My stomach hardened. I couldn’t believe he did that. I didn’t want to think about the conversation he had with them and doing so made me madder.
He stepped closer to me. “You need to stop and think about what you did.”
“I’m sorry, but couldn’t we have discussed this instead of you calling our parents? I’m not a kid, Collin.” I needed a partner not another parent. I swallowed repeatedly, but couldn’t stop the water works from forming.
“I don’t know what’s gotten into you lately, but I don’t like it one bit.” He held his chin high.
“You don’t like me coming on to you?”
He took a deep breath. “This was never a problem before, what’s changed?”
“I want more from you.” Tears dripped from my eyes. Was coming on to my fiancé that wrong? I knew I shouldn’t have drank in front of his parents, but the stress of our relationship was becoming more than I could handle. I felt lonely and confused. The alcohol seemed to take it away.
“How can I want a drunk and sex crazed women?”
“But I’m your fiancée.” I wiped the tears away.
“Then act like it.” His tone deepened and it reminded me of my father. He sighed heavily. “I have to go. I’ll call you later.”
He left me standing among the hordes of students, crying my heart out. Several people turned and stared, but I didn’t care. I knew that getting drunk was wrong and my flirting with Raven was a huge mistake, but in all honesty, Collin and I had started drifting apart before I met him. All Raven did was made me realize what was missing with my relationship with Collin. If Collin would only open his heart to me and allow me to love him, then we wouldn’t be going through this difficulty. I wasn’t convinced that I belonged with Collin.
Σ
Chapter 9
The rest of the day dragged, and I questioned everything that had happened since I met Raven. It was reassuring to know that Collin was working hard to secure a future for us, but it still didn’t change the fact that I needed to feel love from him. Otherwise, what future would we have? I needed to experience a certain level of intimacy with him that reassured me that we were more than friends. Of course I wanted hot, sensual sex with him before we tied the knot, but if I couldn’t have that I at least wanted some tempting make out sessions with him. Surely, he wanted the same.
Later that night Collin apologized for the way he acted. He asked if I could give him a few days to himself, so that he could finish his paper and study for his test. I offered to proof his report, but he turned me down saying that he could do it himself. It bothered me that he refused to make a little time for me. The next day I ignored his request and asked if he’d like to meet for a quick bite or if I could come over the apartment and cook him dinner. He declined, stating h
e really had to study since he had practice on Wednesday and his test was Thursday. All it did was prove to me that what he said was true: school and baseball came first.
Raven canceled our Tuesday tutoring session claiming he needed to read the material before we met. It made me happy to see that he was taking my advice, and I hated to admit that I was slightly disappointed that I wouldn’t be seeing him. But I knew it was for the best. I had to get my head straight and decide if I wanted to be with Collin. I was glad that I had told Dr. Phillips to reassign my other two students. I definitely had too much going on with school, Collin and now Raven.
Delaney hated that Collin and me were still at odds with one another, but was glad to hear that I wanted to keep some distance between Raven and me. She thought it was smart that I give Collin some space, and then told me I should have another talk with him about proving he loved me through showing me affection. She reasoned with me that it was probably due to his lack of experience, not to mention the fact that he was introverted. I reminded myself of those things daily, especially when I didn’t hear from him, even though I knew he wouldn’t call me until after his test.
Thursday’s classes were over before I knew it, and I tried not to get excited about my tutoring session with Raven. As I headed out of Reed Hall several men rushed past me carrying industrial size Shop-Vacs and large fans. I didn’t think anything of it and texted Delaney to meet me at the sandwich shop located by the campus. A missed call from the writing center flashed across my screen. I called my voice mail and listened to the message. Dr. Phillips stated that a pipe had busted in the bathroom and flooded the writing center. That explained why the men were running through the building. I hesitated to text Raven, but I had to inform him so we could find an alternative meeting location.
Me: Hey, Raven, the writing center is flooded so we have to find another meeting place. How about the library?
I shoved my phone in the outside pocket of my bag and walked down the street.
“Lexi,” Delaney called.
Turning, I saw my roomie a few feet behind me. I waited for her, thinking of some meeting places.
Opposing Sides Page 9