Flesh and Feathers
Page 17
Kale squeezed Az closer to him. His face streaked with concern. He looked at Gage. “Kano is not what we had thought.”
“He is the White Horseman of the Apocalypse," Gage said, confirming Kale’s assumption. “It appears we were wrong about a lot of things. What does that mean for us?”
“I don’t know,” Kale said, still looking grim. They watched until the horse vanished in the trees.
Epilogue
I had lain in bed for a week, refusing to get up. Gage had come to check on me regularly, but I barely acknowledged him. Losing Tannah and Jen had been more than I could take, and Kale had made his self scarce these past few days–when I needed him the most.
Hearing a knock at the door, I knew it was Kale. I was reluctant to open it. Seeing his face would only cause the pain to resurface.
I opened up the door gradually and rested my head against it.
“Can I come in?” Kale’s eyes were heavy.
“Is this a personal or professional visit?”
“Personal.”
I let him in and went over to the couch to sit down. My heart started to ache. I knew what was coming–no matter how hard I tried to deny it.
“I have to leave,” he said.
My fingertips brushed over the wound Tobias’ blade had made. The cut had healed, but it had left a large scar. I assumed Jen was the reason it had healed so quickly.
I readjusted my focus back on Kale. “For how long?”
He let out a sigh and avoided eye contact. “Az, this is a lot more complicated than just you and me.”
There was so much I wanted to say, but words failed me. I didn’t want him to leave. We had lost too much time already…, if I could just give him a reason.
“Stay.” It was all I could push out from my lungs.
He sat down beside me. “I can’t.” I could hear the hurt in his voice.
I would have rather been stabbed a hundred times over, then to live without Kale. Although an eternity would not have been long enough with him, I prayed that he would give me this one night. “Then stay tonight?” I asked.
“Only tonight,” he said as he kissed the top of my head.
The hours flew by as we lay in my bed. Neither one of us really said much, we just held on to each other. I knew Kale well enough to know that he would leave, but I wondered if he would ever come back.
After awhile, Kale fell asleep…, but I refused. I stayed awake as long as I could, watching him until my body finally gave in.
***
The morning sun shone through my window, waking me. I didn’t have to roll over and feel the pillow beside me to know that Kale was gone. And this time, he was really gone. He would not be reappearing, causing my memories to rush back to me like a flooded dam. My memories would be my curse…, my cross to bear–so to speak. Lying there, I couldn’t really remember what life was like before him, and to think about what it was going to be like now, was too much. So I didn’t. I also refused to let my mind drift…, wondering what he was doing or wondering if he was thinking the same about me. I only lay there, letting the sun glide over my body as it filled the window.
That day at the monastery I had chosen to follow the path that was selected for me. I had never asked Tobias how it was possible to choose otherwise. Maybe deep down, it was because given the option, I might have chosen differently.
I heard my front door open and close, knowing it could only be Gage. I didn’t move as I heard him walk in my room. I lay there facing the wall.
“Az?”
“I’m fine.” But as soon as I said it, I knew it was a lie. My eyes watered, and I began to cry.
Gage crawled in the bed beside me, placing his arm around my waist. It was the first time I had ever heard him speak so serious. “I know where you’re at. I’ve been there.”
I imagined Gage was probably right. Of all the people, he could relate to me better than anyone. “Why did you fall?” My voice was weak, and the words broke in all the wrong places.
He was hesitant to talk about it, and I could tell it was subject that had been off limits for quite some time. “It was a really long time ago. It was my choice, but it wasn’t how I thought it was going to be. Everyone you know and love will grow old and die, while you never change–never age.”
“Would you have made that same choice now?”
“The answer is different for everyone, Az. However, this was not your choice. It was Kale’s. I will tell you this; he could have chosen to stay.”
I rolled over on my back and placed my arm over my eyes, causing Gage’s hand to rest on my stomach. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t control my body from quivering. It moved with the force of my sobs.
“Az…, I’m not going anywhere,” he said. And only for my own selfish reasons, I was glad. I didn’t want him to go. I knew Gage wanted more from me than I could give him– at least for now.
I rolled over and buried my face in his chest.
Then for some strange reason a question came to mind. “Gage?”
He looked over at me. “Yes, Love?”
“Who is Anna?”
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