“Here, here,” Declan agreed somberly, raising his glass.
Soon we each had our drinks in the air. “To Gavin,” I said, and for the first time, it didn’t hurt to say his name.
“To Gavin,” the guys replied.
***
It was well after midnight, and I was back in my own bed, in my own home. I couldn’t sleep, and I was just staring at the ceiling. Evangeline’s case was over. Part of me was relieved, but there was another part of me that—stupidly, selfishly—wished we’d had more time.
How fucked-up was that? Essentially, I was wishing for her to still be in danger.
I couldn’t believe we’d all missed the signs—that Janelle had this previous connection. But then again, it was such a random and little-known fact, I could honestly say it would have been nearly impossible to find. Thousands of kids audition for those shows, and being how it was so long ago and the threats had only started recently… Well, the whole thing was bizarre.
I closed my eyes, but I could still see Evangeline’s face. I didn’t even fight it. I didn’t even try to make the image go away. If anything, the sight of her gave me peace. For a short span of time, she needed me. Wanted me. Someone as good and clean and amazing as her actually wanted someone like me.
Why was I even here? I asked myself. Not just here on this planet, but here in this house. This town. Why would I choose to come back here? This place held nothing but negative memories. Why was I forcing myself to stay in this rut? Waiting for people to put me down and tell me I was no good?
We have something good. Something better than I’ve had in… ever.
Now it wasn’t just her face but her voice. I played that statement over and over in my mind. I’d been with a lot of women—most of them had told me that what we had was good. But they were referring to the act, the sex, the moment. They all left and hadn’t asked to come back. But Evangeline? She was referring to something more than sex, more than a moment.
And I threw that away.
Not only did I throw it away, I was cruel about it.
It didn’t take a genius to realize that most of the current problems in my life were self-inflicted. I willingly moved back to a place where I knew I was going to be rejected. I’d kept everyone at a distance—even my best friends.
And I threw away the chance to finally have some peace. Some love.
A future.
And damn if I had a clue about how to change it.
Well, that wasn’t true. First thing in the morning, the house goes. I’ll put it on the market as-is. I didn’t need the money—I made more than I needed from the security work. And then inspiration struck— Once the house sold, I’d donate the money to a women’s shelter. Something like what Levi had done in his hometown for the homeless. Or better yet, I’d talk to Sebastian and the guys about maybe all of us investing in starting something like that on our own.
For my mother.
Maybe if she’d had someplace to go, a way to get out of the abusive marriage and been able to take care of herself, she wouldn’t have died so young.
My chest actually felt lighter.
It was a start.
Maybe I was finally on my way to getting my shit together.
***
It had been three weeks since I spent my last night in my childhood home. I’d been working out of our main office in DC. We each had a small space near where we lived, but being that I was up in the air with where I wanted to settle down, I was making this my home space for now.
We were looking at some potential cases along with interviewing potential guys to add to the team, and for the most part, that was keeping me busy. I put one of the case files down and scrubbed a hand over my face.
“Too much damn reading,” I murmured.
Deciding I needed to refresh my coffee, I got up and went to the kitchenette. There was no one in there, but clearly there had been earlier—there were dishes in the sink and magazines scattered all over the table. I made a mental note to talk to the staff about cleaning up after themselves.
With a fresh mug in my hand, I turned to leave, but one of the magazine covers caught my eye.
Evangeline.
I knew I should have kept walking—just ignored it. But I couldn’t. Placing my mug down on the table, I picked up the magazine and just took a minute to look at her. It was a current edition, and the article talked about how filming was done on the movie and how she was already generating some serious Oscar buzz for her work.
Good for her.
And I really meant it.
I watched how hard she worked and was blown away by her talent. I was proud of her. It only made sense that Hollywood would see it too. Evangeline was on the cusp of having the serious career she had always wanted and doing away with her teen-idol image.
The magazine fell from my hands as it hit me—we were no different. All the time we’d spent together, and I had mocked her, her talent, her life. She was exactly like me—trying to shake off the image that everyone had of her and becoming the person she really was and always wanted to be.
How could I have missed that? How did I not see it?
Leaving the magazine where it fell, I made my way back to my office and slammed the door. Sometimes I was my own worst enemy. I needed to do something. I needed… I just wanted… I sighed.
Her. I just wanted Evangeline.
I needed to apologize.
I needed to show her that I was wrong.
But I knew it was going to take more than a phone call. She could easily refuse my call or have someone take a message and then never call me back. No, I needed to do something more. Words were her living. Words were easy. I needed to show her—really show her—what she meant to me.
I sat and wracked my brain and played back every conversation we’d had when it hit me. Inspired, I turned to the computer and began to search. Leave it to Evangeline to form an attachment to something so obscure, so random, that there was only one place in the damn country you could get it.
It took longer than I thought, but I made the call and was assured it would be delivered to her on Friday. That was two days away, so I had to deal with that, but I knew it would be worth it.
And in that moment, that one exact moment where the phone call ended and I relaxed back in my chair, I felt something I had never felt before.
Hope.
And it felt really damn good.
A knock on the door a few minutes later brought me out of my reverie. “Come in.”
Levi poked his head in the door. “Hey, how’s it going?”
I knew he wasn’t asking for any specifics, but I couldn’t help but smile. “Good,” I said. “What’s going on?”
“Well, I know you’re sort of a man without a country—so to speak—and we got an inquiry today about a potential new client.”
“O-kay,” I said slowly, unsure of where he was going with this.
“We’ve been kind of lucky that we’ve all been able to stay fairly local. This one takes us out of the DC, Maryland, and Virginia area. Would you be interested in checking it out?”
I shrugged. “I really don’t have anything keeping me here. What kind of case is it?”
“Something that we’re all looking for—some basic security. No drama. No danger. I think they may just be looking for someone to help them get something set up, but I got a feeling they might be open to hiring someone full time.”
That piqued my curiosity—and my suspicion. “You trying to get rid of me?”
Levi chuckled. “Hell no. I think this could give us the perfect opportunity to branch out more. Open more offices. Who knows, eventually we could have locations all over the country.”
The idea was certainly appealing. “You sure you want me to go? I’m not really the business guy. I can go in there and get a job done, but normally you or Seb go in and do the sales pitch.”
“Cole,” Levi said, leveling me with a stare, “you are more than capable of doing this.” Then he shrugged
. “Of course, if you’d rather skip a trip to New York and a weekend at the Plaza…”
“Wait, wait, wait.” I interrupted. “The Plaza? Seriously?”
“Okay, maybe not the Plaza, but have you ever been to New York?”
I shook my head.
“When was the last time you even took a vacation?”
“Hell if I know…”
“Do you want to take care of this or not?” he asked with mock exasperation. “We’ve all taken some personal time—except you. I think you can totally handle the initial contact with these people and then take a little time for yourself.”
I knew Evangeline was staying in New York right now, so maybe, just maybe, I could kill two birds with one stone. I could take care of this business and then look her up—preferably close to the time she received my gift.
I looked at Levi as I stood and extended my hand. “Done.”
Thirteen
Evangeline
So the past few weeks should have been good.
I had some of the best publicity I’d had in my entire career—sympathy as news got out of my stalker and also genuine respect for the film. It wasn’t close to being done yet, but word got out early about such things—at least when good PR people were on the job.
I should have been thrilled, overjoyed that my career was finally on the trajectory I wanted.
I wasn’t.
I was having trouble thinking of anything but Cole.
It was really infuriating since he’d been an asshole and we hadn’t even known each other for very long. I shouldn’t feel like I’d lost everything just because he’d decided he didn’t want to pursue a relationship.
But I did.
I was working on it though—looking through screenplays, having discussions with producers, focusing on what my next project should be. I had some good choices. I wasn’t limited to the silly, superficial song-and-dance roles I’d been pigeonholed in before. And all the aftermath of Janelle’s arrest was finally dying down. Things were really looking up.
I still desperately wanted Cole.
I was trying not to think about him on Friday afternoon as I ran hard on my treadmill. I would have preferred to box like Cole had taught me back in DC, but I hadn’t thought to set up a bag here. So I was running hard and fast, sweat streaming down my face and skin under my clothes, hoping Cole was okay, that he wasn’t sinking into depression, that he hadn’t heard bad news when he went to hear the results of the accident that would send him into a downward spiral.
It hurt how there was nothing I could do. I didn’t even know where he was.
And Sebastian had refused to give me any information. Not that I’d asked. I’d hinted, of course, but he hadn’t taken the bait, and I was hating how I refused to demand an answer.
I gave a little jump when Cali came into the room, holding a package. “This was just delivered for you,” she said. “Do you want me to open it for you?”
“Yeah,” I huffed, slowing down just a little. I got packages fairly regularly, but they’d made me squirrely ever since I’d gotten the twisted gifts from Janelle.
The days were long gone when packages made me feel loved, like the candy my granddad used to send.
Cali put the box on the table, and I focused on running. But something struck me as familiar about the size of the package.
It was in a regular packing box, but the size looked familiar.
When she got the outer box open, I understood why.
It was a pretty pink box with silver swirl—one I’d seen many, many times before.
Inside, there would be caramels.
I jerked to a stop in my astonishment, nearly stumbling off the treadmill in my rush.
“How pretty,” Cali said. “It looks like that candy you used to get.” She’d been my PA since I was thirteen, so she might remember the boxes too.
My grandfather died when I was seventeen, and he’d sent them to me every week until he died.
I ran over to the table and lifted the lid of the box with shaky hands. As expected, there were two dozen wrapped caramels from the little confectioner’s shop in Hillsville, Indiana, my grandparents’ hometown.
It was the only place in the world you could get these particular caramels.
I stared down at them, dazed and stunned and sweaty and starting to shake with a building wave of emotion.
“There’s no card,” Cali said, looking through the packing box. “And nothing on the label except Hillsville Candy. Do you think these are safe? I’m not sure you should eat something you don’t know where it came from.”
“I know where it came from,” I managed to say in a voice that didn’t sound quite like me.
“Are you okay?”
I wiped away some of the sweat with my hands. Then remembered the towel hanging on a chair nearby, so I went to grab it. “Yeah. I’m okay.”
“Who is this from?”
It had to be Cole. It had to be. He was the only person I’d ever told about how much the caramels meant to me. No one else in the world would know to buy them for me.
I’d told him they made me feel loved. Surely he would remember that. Surely he wouldn’t send me these unless they meant something about his own feelings.
I was so overwhelmed with this recognition that I had to sit down abruptly since my knees were about to buckle.
Cali went to grab my water bottle from the treadmill and brought it over for me, and I drank gratefully. “So,” she asked slowly, “Is this a good breakdown or a bad one? Because I’m not sure I can stand another stalker so soon.”
“Not a stalker,” I managed to say. “It’s good.”
Her face relaxed. “Oh. Good.” Then she seemed to realize something. “They’re from Cole, aren’t they?”
I didn’t answer with words, but my face must have reflected the truth.
Cali clapped her hands together. “Thank God! It’s about time he manned up and did something.”
I gave her a narrow-eyed look, but she just laughed it off.
Evidently, my intimidating glares weren’t terribly intimidating. I’d have to take some lessons from Cole.
The idea that Cole might actually be around to give me glaring lessons make me so happy I propelled to my feet.
I wanted to see him. Now. I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to touch him, kiss him, be with him completely.
But I still didn’t know where he was, and he hadn’t left any sort of message.
Was he expecting me to hunt him down? Was it a gesture of affection that wasn’t a promise of any sort of future?
I was in such an emotional flurry that I couldn’t think of anything in the world to do. So I did the obvious thing.
I took a shower.
***
When I got out of the shower and changed in clean clothes, I came out and found Jimmy talking to Cali at my kitchen bar.
“Hi, Jimmy,” I said with a smile. I was used to people showing up without warning—so I wasn’t surprised to see him there, even though he hadn’t called to tell me he was coming. Sometimes I wondered what it would be like to be the way other people were, to have the privacy and anonymity that most people took for granted. But losing it was part of this job, part of being a celebrity.
If I didn’t like it, I could just quit.
It was nice to know that was an option if I ever decided to take it. Not yet though.
“What’s going on?” I asked since he never turned up just to hang out. There was always a reason.
“Cali and I were talking,” he said with a smile. “We think you need to increase your security staff.”
I frowned. “What are you talking about? Is there something happening that I don’t—”
“No, no.” He interrupted, his smile fading. “Nothing like that. Just as a precaution.”
I sighed and rubbed my face, trying to focus on this rather than on what the caramels meant, whether they meant what I thought they meant. “Okay. I guess that’s fine.”
&
nbsp; Jimmy nodded and stood up. “Good. You’ll want to interview anyone we hire first, right?”
“Sure. I mean, I’d like to meet them first if they’re going to be lurking around me all the time to make sure I’d be comfortable with them.” This whole conversation felt strange. Not at all how the normal processes worked with my hiring any sort of staff. I had no idea what was wrong with Jimmy.
“Good. I’ve got someone for you to interview now.”
I blinked at him. “Right now?”
He nodded. “He’s just outside.”
I still had no idea what was happening. None at all. “Why didn’t you tell me about it before?” I turned for help to Cali. “Do you know what’s going on?”
She gave a little shrug, obviously hiding a smile. “I think this is a good thing.”
“O-kay. Send him in, I guess.”
I know it might sound crazy, but I was still completely oblivious. My mind was so distracted with other thoughts that it couldn’t clearly think through exactly what was occurring right now.
Not until I saw who walked into the room.
Cole.
Not in his normal beat-up jeans and crew-neck shirt, but in trousers, a dress shirt and jacket. He still looked kind of rough, with his strong features and perpetual five o’clock shadow, but he’d obviously made a real effort.
I stared, completely dumbfounded.
“Here he is,” Jimmy said, amusement in his tone. “I think he’ll be a perfect fit to head up your security detail. Cali and I are going to grab some lunch. We’ll talk more tomorrow.”
Before I could respond or even think, both of them left, and I was alone with Cole.
His eyes were soft on my face but also questioning, a little wary.
“I don’t…” I began, swallowing hard.
“I’m here about the security position.”
I waved vaguely at the kitchen stool beside the one I was sitting in.
“I don’t have a resume with me,” he explained, his eyes never leaving mine. “But I’d like an interview just the same.”
“Okay.” I was starting to shake now, knowing he wouldn’t be here unless the unspoken message in the caramels was true.
He felt deeply for me. He wanted me to know it for sure.
Protecting the Movie Star (The Protectors Book 4) Page 16