Cookie and the Most Annoying Girl in the World

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Cookie and the Most Annoying Girl in the World Page 9

by Konnie Huq


  A bright torch light shines in my face and a head pokes in: ‘You up, Cookie?’

  It’s Keziah! Yay! She says she can’t get to sleep.

  ‘Quick! Get in!’ I laugh with relief. ‘I can’t sleep either. And dim that light a bit! We’ll all go blind!’

  Keziah carries that torch with her everywhere when it gets dark. Flashlight is an understatement – flood light is more like it! It’s ridiculously bright!

  ‘OK, OK!’ she says, dimming the torch. ‘I’ve really gotta ditch this “scared of the dark” thing, haven’t I? Especially now that Alison’s over her fear of ghosts!’

  ‘I doubt she is!’ I say. ‘I thought we were gonna have to call an ambulance after the toilet-ghost incident.’

  We laugh. I’m so happy to see my best friend in the whole wide world. I’ve really missed Keziah – it’s time for a proper catch-up.

  She grabs my stripy anorak and we huddle up together. Keziah says she’s missed me too and that it feels like I’m hanging out with Suzie all the time these days. I explain how the whole Suzie friendship was accidental, and that I sold the ticket to Suzie – I didn’t give it to her. I point out that I only did it so I could get the twenty-five-pound Forest Club joining fee. I also tell her how last week’s shopping trip had come about totally by chance. She giggles. We both do – pretty loudly!

  Suzie shuffles, and for a second we’re worried we’ve woken her up. Luckily we haven’t. I tell Keziah about fake Ramadan and we chuckle away as I recount all the times I’ve had to eat in hiding or starve myself as others scoffed their food down in front of me.

  Just then, my stomach lets out a huge growl as if to remind me I’ve only had one sausage, fourteen baked beans and three marshmallows for dinner. I need to eat soon before I die of starvation.

  ‘Poor you!’ says Keziah. ‘What you need is a midnight feast!’

  ‘I’ve got an idea!’ I say, jumping up. ‘I’ll eat the leftover marshmallows! Edmonds put them in that tin next to the fire. If they’re there all night an animal will probably eat them anyway! Wait here!’

  I pull a spare ground sheet over me for warmth and gingerly make my way over to the marshmallows, tiptoeing across the twigs and stones that cover the forest floor so as to be as quiet as possible.

  As I open the hinged lid of the marshmallow tin it lets out an almighty creak. The marshmallows look unbelievably good! Soft, puffy clouds of joy saying ‘Eat me!’ to my willing tummy.

  Without pausing for breath, I start shovelling them into my mouth and chomping away loudly. Yum! I hear a zip open but can’t stop gorging on the marshmallows. Suddenly, there’s a high-pitched, piercing scream. I turn around to see Alison staring at me in pure terror. Behind her are Axel and Suzie, who are screaming too. Then to my utter disbelief Jake appears behind them and joins in as well. They all think I’m a ghost.

  Covered in my ground sheet with marshmallow powder all over my face, accompanied by gobbling noises and the sound of the tin creaking, I totally understand why they think that. Even I’m a bit scared of me!

  I stop munching and look up at them. The sheet falls off me. Everyone is relieved. We hear loud grunting and shuffling noises coming from Edmonds’ direction. Giggling, we all race back into Suzie’s tent as it’s the closest. Thankfully it’s just Edmonds rolling over in her sleeping bag. She starts snoring loudly – she’s slept through the whole thing!!

  By now, the six of us are back in Suzie’s tent laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation. We’re doubled over in hysterics thinking about it. It takes us a good few minutes to recompose ourselves. Alison, however, still looks like the living dead – all pale and disturbed. I must have been a pretty terrifying sight. Even Jake ‘I’m not scared of anything and don’t believe in ghosts’ Kay got a fright.

  ‘Thought you didn’t believe in ghosts, Jakey-pie,’ I say, teasing him.

  But Jake is still blanking me …

  ‘Cheer up, Alison!’ says Axel, looking at the ground. ‘We’re all scared of something! I can’t bear heights, remember? I bet there’ll be a tree-climbing challenge tomorrow and I’ll probably have a meltdown too!’

  We all laugh. Axel is trying to be helpful but it sounds more like an insult! Poor Alison doesn’t look like she’ll get over her fear of ghosts any time soon.

  ‘Hey!’ says Suzie. ‘Now you’re all here, I reckon it’s time for a midnight feast.’ She rubs on some antibac hand gel, and then from out of her bag grabs the same huge slab of butterscotch chocolate she’d been eating earlier while I starved.

  I pull my sleeping bag around me to make a bit of space for everyone to sit down, and feel something nestling right at the bottom of it. I delve inside only to find the snack bag that Mum had tried to give me earlier today. She’d snuck it in and, boy, was I glad of it now.

  ‘Wow! You’ve got enough in there to feed an army!’ says Axel.

  ‘Or a Forest Club!’ jokes Keziah.

  I really do! Mum definitely doesn’t skimp when it comes to feeding people.

  ‘Good thinking ahead!!’ says Alison

  ‘Thanks!’ I say, taking the praise.

  ‘Be prepared!’ laughs Suzie. ‘Isn’t that an army motto? Edmonds would be proud!’

  ‘Errr … I think you’ll find that’s actually the Boy Scouts’ motto,’ says Keziah, laughing.

  We spread all the goodies out over the floor of the tent and tuck in. We feast away merrily into the early hours as Edmonds snores contentedly in her tent, completely oblivious. It’s been such a good night, apart from the fact that Jake still isn’t talking to me. Something I’m determined to change …

  After everyone has gone back to their own tents, I drift off thinking about the whole Jake situation. I wish we could just talk to each other!

  Keziah seems to be back on side now, so that’s good, and tomorrow is a new day and a fresh beginning …

  CHAPTER 17

  Zipwire!

  Ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling!

  I hear a bell ringing in the distance. My head feels heavy. Where am I? Is this a dream? Am I in the school playground? Is that the fire alarm? It takes me a while to come round from my slumber and gain consciousness, as the bell continues to grow louder and louder.

  DING-A-LING-A-LING-A-LING-A-LING!

  I soon realise this is no dream. I awake confused and disorientated to a booming voice. And then I remember – we’re in the middle of a forest. I look up to see Mrs Edmonds standing over us in our hot-pink tent.

  ‘Time to get up, ladies!’ she calls out. ‘Nothing like a morning swim to get your blood flowing! Costumes on! The day is dawning! Carpe diem!’

  Carpe diem?! I glance at Suzie’s alarm clock. It’s 5.30 a.m.!! We couldn’t have got to sleep till about 1.30 a.m. after last night’s antics. I know carpe diem is Latin for ‘seize the day’ but can’t we seize the day when it’s actually DAYTIME?! It’s barely even started to get light outside. Worse still, we’re all so groggy and out of it on our four hours of sleep.

  Does she get up this early every day? Must be an army thing.

  We all assemble with bed-head hair and half-closed eyelids (very un-army). We’re wearing our swimwear under our civvies (a very army term for normal clothes). We yawn and rub our eyes (also very un-army) as we get ready to pile into the minibus.

  ‘No need for the minibus,’ declares Edmonds. ‘We’ll go on foot.’

  Great! Just as I thought! A five-hundred-mile hike to the nearest pool and then we’ll probably have to swim a thousand lengths! And all of this on just FOUR HOURS’ SLEEP!

  But, in fact, we walk for all of two minutes before Edmonds barks, ‘Get changed! Quick smart! Nothing like an early morning dip!’

  No way!!

  We’re going swimming IN THE LAKE?! It’ll be freezing with a capital F. F Factor? Freezing Factor, more like! We all look at her as though she’s completely lost the plot.

  ‘I’ll go first!’ she cries, throwing off her army coat and taking a running jump straight into the
lake.

  No. Way. The lake has vapour coming off it, making it look really hot and steamy, but we know only too well that it isn’t steam, it’s actually water vapour condensing when it hits the cold air.

  Brrrrrr! Just thinking about it makes me feel cold.

  ‘Come on then!’ urges Edmonds. ‘It’s glorious in here!’

  ‘Geronimo!!!!’ cries Axel, launching himself into the lake at full pelt.

  We’re all in our swimming costumes by now and the goosebumps have kicked in. The quicker we’re in the water and swimming about to warm up, the better.

  ‘Go on, Alison! You next!’ taunts Suzie. ‘You know you want to!!’

  ‘You can do it, Alison!’ Axel joins in, cheering on his new friend and making FULL eye contact. In she goes!

  Wonders will never cease! Not to be outdone by Alison, Suzie follows suit.

  And not to be outdone by Suzie, Jake divebombs in straight after, grabbing Keziah and pulling her in with him.

  It’s like a chain reaction. Kind of like watching dominoes topple over.

  Now there’s only one person left … me. GREAT.

  The water looks so unappealing. Do I have to go in? The others are splashing about furiously to warm up and seem to be having loads of fun.

  ‘Come on, Cookie!’ shouts Edmonds. ‘We’re going to get rid of all this floating rubbish, carrying on your good work from yesterday! Let’s save the planet!’

  There’s no avoiding it. I have to go in. My FOMO coupled with the fact that I don’t have much choice in the matter forces my legs into action. My brain makes me run towards the water, despite the rest of my body resisting.

  SPLASH!!!

  In I go. It’s like my whole head is instantaneously frozen. On top of feeling like I’m now inside a block of solid ice, water has gone up my nose and it’s causing a horrible stinging sensation. I begin swimming about frantically to warm myself up. My body is all cold and tingly. I make my way towards an empty water bottle bobbing on the surface. Me and Axel grab it at the same time …

  ‘Mine!’ I say, trying to yank it off him as if we’re in a tug of war.

  Suddenly we all start to get a bit competitive. We swim around excitedly, each trying to grab the most pieces of plastic pollution. At one point, me and Jake both reach for the same polythene bag and it splits. ‘Half each,’ he says with a twinkle in his eye. Was that twinkle for me? Am I forgiven? He swims off and I feel that maybe everything’s going to be OK between us again.

  ‘This would make quite a good Olympic sport,’ says Edmonds.

  ‘And it would save the planet in the process,’ she continues, laughing to herself as if she’s cracked a great joke.

  We do a really good job of clearing the lake.

  When we finally come out of the water, we’re all absolutely freezing. Thankfully there are hot showers in the shed-like building at the lake’s edge. Warmth again. Sheer bliss! I dry off and we have breakfast around the campfire. Suzie has brought about thirty different shower gels and shampoos with her. She takes so long in the shower while crooning away to Aliana Tiny that I manage to eat my entire breakfast while she’s still in there scrubbing behind her ears. The campfire hash that Mrs Edmonds has made us is SO yummy and, better still, Suzie is oblivious that I’ve eaten anything.

  After breakfast, it’s time for our first big activity of the day. We’re all raring to go after our invigorating swim, which has more than woken us up. We’re all dressed in our outdoor gear, ready for business. Axel has even painted war stripes on his face again and he’s brought along his chunky super-duper Swiss Army knife, which has all sorts of cool bits and pieces tucked away inside it. We’re prepared for anything.

  After a short walk through the woods, we stop by a giant zipwire, suspended high in the tree canopy.

  Some other kids have just finished it and are walking off in good spirits.

  ‘Welcome to the 100-per-cent eco-friendly zipwire!’ says Edmonds.

  ‘How can a zipwire be eco-friendly?’ asks Axel.

  ‘The special thing about this one is that it’s been made purely out of … rubbish!’ Edmonds replies.

  Huh?!!

  ‘All the materials used to make it are recycled,’ she explains. ‘The wooden frame is made from reclaimed wood, the rubber chippings out of old tyres, and even the rope itself has been made from recycled fibres.’

  That is pretty impressive for such a big structure. Looking up, it seems very high.

  Suzie and Alison are really excited and begin jumping up and down with glee. They’ll be fine with this – they do gymnastics and other sporty activities out of choice.

  I don’t.

  We climb up what feels like thousands of steps housed in the big wooden frame, right to the very top of the zipwire where our instructor awaits us.

  ‘Who’s first?’ he asks.

  ‘Cookie! You were last in the lake, so how about you?’ Edmonds chips in helpfully.

  How about me? How about no thanks?! How about … well … I stop and think about it. Maybe I should go first for once? Being last in the lake was pretty embarrassing and how hard could this be? All you have to do is hold on and let gravity do the work. I look at Axel who for once is not staring at the ground but screwing his eyes together tightly, paralysed by his fear of heights. Probably just as well, as the last group of kids look like ants from up here.

  Right! I can do this. I’ll do it for Axel.

  The instructor clips me into a safety harness and makes me grab onto a loop of rope. Everyone counts me down from ten …

  TEN … this rope is really thick …

  NINE … my fingers aren’t quite managing to grip it …

  EIGHT … everybody’s watching me …

  SEVEN … do zipwires ever break with people on them?

  SIX … This rope really is very thick …

  FIVE … my fingers really aren’t managing to grip it …

  FOUR … I move forward so my toes are over the edge …

  THREE … I flash a fake smile to boost Axel’s confidence …

  TWO … his eyes are closed! What a waste!

  ONE … I really haven’t got a good grip …

  Before I have time to tighten my hands around the rope and shout ‘I’m not ready!’ the instructor pushes me off the edge …

  Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!

  I’m zipping through the air like Tarzan. Wind in my hair, carefree! Living the zipwire dream! Who needs gymnastics training? I’m nailing this. Who needs upper-body strength?! Such fun! If I can just keep holding on for the next thirty seconds … but it’s easier said than done. My hands start to slip and before I know it I’ve lost my grip. I think I’m about to fall. I can’t hold on any longer and feel myself letting go … Going, going, gone …

  WAAAAH!!!

  I’ve fallen! I’m dangling from the zipwire like a rag doll in a safety harness. I stumble over at the bottom and fall face-first into the wet mud.

  It’s a bit like being in a bog. Before I have time to properly unclip myself and manoeuvre out of the way, Suzie comes hurtling towards me. Splat! She lands right on top of me.

  We panic, shuffling to one side on our bums in the sticky, thick gloop trying to clear the way for Alison.

  Alison manages to finish on her feet, which really annoys Suzie. This is made worse by the fact that she bursts out laughing at the sight of the two of us caked in mud.

  Suzie, who is already fuming because she’s covered in ‘bacteria’, hurls some mud at Alison. It lands slap bang in the middle of her face.

  Before I know it, the others start to join us one by one down the zipwire, oblivious as to what’s going on until they land and get caught up in the crossfire. We all end up hurling mud at each other like there’s no tomorrow. It’s so much fun.

  Mud is flying in every direction – I’m covered in the stuff. Even Jake splats me on the head, which could be a sign that he’s forgiven me – I’m not sure.

  Then Axel runs in from the side, jumping on
top of us all as though we’re in a rugby scrum.

  He’s chickened out of doing the zipwire and walked back down the steps! So much for me leading the way to help him conquer his fear of heights. Oh well … he seems to be loving every minute of our mud festival!

  Meanwhile, it’s like something primal has awoken inside of us and we all start painting war stripes on our faces with mud, except for Suzie who has crawled out of the bog and is standing there screaming at the top of her lungs.

  Being in the thick, warm mud is actually quite comforting, I guess in the same way that people might pay for it as an expensive spa treatment.

  Once again, we’re all loving our Forest Club experience!

  Just then a voice booms out from behind us, ‘INCOMING!!!’ Edmonds has launched herself down the zipwire and is hurtling towards us like a herd of elephants.

  Oh no! We’re bound to be in for it when she sees what we’re up to …

  ‘FORESTERS, PLEASE!!’ she yells. ‘Where are your manners?! No mud bathing without me!’ And with that, she joins in!!!

  CHAPTER 18

  Moral Compass

  After having so much fun, it’s a bit of a comedown when I get back to our tent from the shower. I’m freezing cold, and my hair is soaking wet and clinging to my face. My fingers are like prunes.

 

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