Deeper

by Blue Ashcroft

  “Not much more to say. I’m Rain Williams and I’m just here for the summer. One thing about me, I’m all about the rules. Might as well know that up front. I’ll be writing the emergency plans and I’ll be ensuring that we all stay as safe as we want the patrons to be.”

  The quiet muttering turns to complaining, but none of it loud enough to address. Knight’s smile broadens. He’s winning, and so far they aren’t happy with me.

  “Does anyone have any questions for me?” I ask.

  “How old are you?”

  “None of your business. Next?”

  Knight puts a hand over his mouth to hide what is probably a laugh, and his eyes crinkle in amusement. I look to Dave, but he is absentmindedly surfing on his phone and could care less how I am being received.

  “Anything about my actual qualifications as your manager?”

  “How many saves have you had?” a guy asks. He has a green fauxhauk and is standing in the back with a group of similarly styled teens.

  “Nineteen,” I say quickly. I don’t have to think about it. Each save is an adrenaline rush you never forget, from the panicked face sinking beneath the water, to the way their arms try to grab you as you try to keep your tube between you and the victim, to the noise of the whistles as other guards come to help or to clear the water. Each save is a tally burned into the side of your skull. Almost as visceral as the rescue attempts that don’t end in saves.

  “Why so many?” a gothic boy with long, dyed black hair and a nose ring asks.

  “Mostly the wave pool. Often people can swim until the water is actually moving. The other main danger, and one that you’ll actually have to deal with, is the slide drop down pools. Often times people go down a slide thinking that even if they can’t swim, they can land on their feet. This isn’t the case. Often they panic when they hit the water. I’ve seen a six foot tall man drowning in three feet of water.”

  I begin to hear the first low murmurs of approval from my crowd, so I go on. “Everything’s different with slides. I’ll be showing you how to do spinals in the moving water, how to backboard, and how to do different saves.”

  They are nodding at me now, making eye contact. That’s good. I need them to know the seriousness of their job has just ramped up with the new additions. Many of them have probably never had a save. But that’s going to change this season.

  Dave hefts himself from his chair, runs a hand through his thinning brown hair, and comes to the front with a clipboard. He pats my shoulder and I sit, feeling satisfied with my performance for the day. I’ve let them know my goals and what I’m going to do for them. I will be an asset at this job.

  I meet Knight’s eyes, wanting to know if he understands me. He nods but doesn’t smile. Like he’s acknowledging me, but not going to be friendly about it. It’s fine. I don’t need to be liked to do a good job.

  We start slide drills on the second day of training. So far, Dave has had us working separately with two different groups, the experienced guards and the new. This is my first time training with Knight, and we’re working on slides. My turf.

  I hop in the slide pool while the guards assemble around us. I go to the end of both slides and feel the current gush around me. Not as strong as some of the slides back home but still enough to push a body out past you before you catch it. I dunk under and feel myself float forward so I have an idea of timing. When I come up, the guards are talking noisily amongst themselves, and Knight is staring down at me with narrowed eyes. I can never read him.

  “Two lines,” I say.

  “Why two?” Trent, one of our youngest, always has a mouth on him, always wants to know why.

  “Just get in line,” Knight snaps, coming up behind him. Trent moves immediately, shaking his limp brown hair out of his face as he scrambles to comply. Knight’s voice is as commanding as his stance is. He towers over the younger guards in both height and width, in that way that men do when they move from their teens to their twenties and just seem hotter and stronger. His whistle hangs around his neck, down between large, defined pecs that show even under his shirt.

  He grabs the bottom of his shirt and raises an eyebrow at me while nodding at the water. I nod, because I’ll need him to get in with me, even though I’m not sure how I’ll handle him shirtless. For the last day or so, I’ve barely been able to handle him fully clothed when we did paperwork.

  He pulls off his shirt in one smooth motion, over his head in a way that flexes his chest and elongates his biceps, and tosses it to the side. Cue appreciative noises from the female guards and my mouth going dry. I’m trying just to see him as my capable coworker, who in the last day or so of training has proven to be a stellar guard. But I find myself appreciating his fantastic chest as much as I appreciate his extreme dedication to the job. I can’t stop thinking of his lips on mine at night in the ocean. I’m just going to have to focus on the guards. Besides, Knight might be helping direct the guards, and acting friendly, but I haven’t forgotten his angry diatribe in the parking lot.

  “Why do we have two lines?” I say, pointing to each. “Because there are two slides. We’re going to be doing slide spinals and you’ll be running them with either Knight or myself. After we demonstrate, of course.”

  I feel a little guilty for planning my first training around slide spinals, because I know how to do them and I’m sure Knight doesn’t. It’s not that I want him to look stupid, it’s just that I need to gain respect in my own way. If it puts him in his place and shows him not to mess with me, even better.

  “I’ll show Knight how to do it first, then we can teach at the same time. Watch closely.” I wave to Amy. She goes around the back and up the slide tower. I am about to signal her when Knight taps me with his foot underwater. It trips a nerve in my leg that shoots right up to my hip. He couldn’t even unfold his stupid complacent arms long enough to tap me with a hand? I glare at him.

  He shrugs and looks forward, giving me his sharp profile. “I can demonstrate it.”

  “You’ve done slide spinals,” I say skeptically.

  He nods. “I took a course when I knew we were getting slides.”

  He’s not what I expected. Maybe it’s his tattoo, or the way he smiled and tried to seduce me in the ocean, but I was expecting him to be more of a slacker. “So you’ve seen the videos, and simulated it in a pool, but have you done one?”

  “No, but I can.” He raises an eyebrow, a hint of a smirk on his face. “I’ll demonstrate right now if you want me to.”

  I don’t want him to. If he does it wrong it’ll be humiliating for him, and if he does it right it’ll be humiliating for me. But he won’t do it right. No one does it right the first time.

  He pushes me gently out of the way of Amy’s slide, and waves for her to go down. After a doubtful look at me that I return with a nod, she goes.

  Midway down the slide she turns to be headfirst. It won’t be an easy spinal. The brace you make has to be perfect. I look over at Knight. He’s folding his arms and watching her progress. How can he look so relaxed?

  Amy hits the water and Knight snaps into action, submerging and smoothly spinning under her, since she’s face down. He braces her perfectly before turning them both face up. He turns slowly and holds her in the slide current and calls for a backboard. The guards look at me and I nod for someone to go get it. I can’t believe it.

  I take the backboard from the guards and move into position to help Knight. My face is burning, both from the embarrassment of being wrong about him as well as how hot I find it that he’s so damn good at this. I drop the backboard with a hard push and let it float smoothly up beneath her. He holds her head while I start the straps. Even though I’m not looking at him, I can feel him watching me. I can’t ignore the current between us. Like the air is charged whenever he’s near. I finish the last strap on the head piece and meet his eyes as I move to the end of the backboard. They’re so blue, but so intense. Like pool water with sun glinting off of it.

  He places h
is hands on the edge of the pool and pulls himself up out of the water with one smooth motion. All glistening muscle with water falling off of him. I want to hit my head on the side of the pool so I can stop thinking this way.

  My plan to look good has failed, and I should be bitter, but as he reaches for the top of the backboard while I grab the bottom, and we lock eyes, we can’t help momentarily grinning at one another. It’s just odd like that when you find someone else who is just as good as you are at what you are best at. It’s hard not to see them as a possible partner for more than just lifeguarding. Even now, my mind is going back to the night of the bonfire, and thinking of the other things we do well together.

  I pull myself out of the water and kneel beside Amy, who’s smiling a bit too happily for a person with a spinal injury. Knight’s behind me and I can’t ignore the feel of him as I explain to the guards what to do next. I’m lucky CPR is like breathing to me, and even if I stutter a bit, the ideas are clear and easy to remember.

  Even as I’m remembering his big, capable body as he pulled himself out of the pool to help me complete the perfect backboarding.

  “Who wants to see Rain do one?” Knight folds his arms and looks at me.

  He’s throwing down the gauntlet, almost as if he thinks I couldn’t possibly do it as well as he did, since he did it perfectly. He’s wrong, because I can. But there’s no point having two demonstrations.

  “You’ve already seen it,” I say, knowing that some of them will just think I’m copping out. “Let’s all go through this once, and then I’ll do any rescue maneuver you want to see. Think of the hardest one you can think of, one that is really stumping you. One you’d like to see done really well.” I meet Knight’s eyes and he just raises his eyebrows and shrugs.

  The guards get in line, and Knight and I designate crash dummies to start them off. After an hour, everyone is pruny, tired, and frustrated, and it’s time for a break. I check the clock, give them a time to be back, and release them for lunch.

  They split off in groups, most of them eager to head out. A couple of girls head over to Knight. I roll my eyes and go to grab my sack lunch. I don’t see Amy around, so I’ll go by myself. Maybe I can find a nice patch of grass outside. Somewhere Knight won’t see me eating alone.

  It feels great to change into dry clothes, if only for a short break. I come out of the break room toweling my hair. I’m wearing my gray supervisor polo and old jeans.

  I’m nearly to the back door when Knight strides up beside me. I try to pass him, but he blocks the door, and the sunshine, with his impossibly big, toned body.

  “Rain, I’m sorry about the other night,” he says.

  “Why should you be?” I squeeze an arm past him and attempt to work my way around and out the door. “It’s your pool, right?”

  “I was a douche. I’d literally just found out that night. Do you know what that was like? Working for months on water park certification just to have them bring in an outsider to babysit?”

  I shrug. “You don’t want me here. I get it. I’m okay with it.”

  “You are?” He follows me outside, folding his arms again. His shirt doesn’t really make his chest any less noticeable. “Because we need to be partners. And hey, we actually work well together. Don’t tell me you didn’t notice how well we backboarded. I know you did.”

  He says it like he’s suggesting we do more well than backboarding. I turn to face him. I don’t want him at lunch with me, and I don’t want to encourage him in any way. We’ll work together, he’ll be fun to look at, but it can’t go further than that. This is a guy who could make me break all my promises if I let him.

  “I didn’t mean what I said at the bonfire,” he says. “I was just surprised, and a little guilty, because I shouldn’t have come on to you like that. I’m sorry.”

  I nod. “I am too.”

  “I’m not usually like that,” he says, folding his arms. “I just couldn’t take my eyes off of you across the fire. You captivated me. And then you went out in the waves. I was just going to make sure you were okay, but there’s just something about the water…”

  “Now that I understand,” I say.

  “Come get lunch with me.”

  “I’ll go on my own.”

  “Oh come on, you don’t know any of the good places around here. You can’t yet, right?” He puts an arm through mine and pulls me with him easily despite my efforts to stay put.

  “I have a packed lunch,” I protest.

  “Of course you do. You would. Bet you got straight A’s in school and didn’t party in college either.” He shakes his head.

  I go silent and let him pull me. He’s right, I didn’t party in college. I did penance for murder and stayed in my room every night.

  He only stops when we get to his Jeep. He opens my door and waits for me to get in. “I’m right, right? Anyway, it’s my treat, sort of an apology for how I treated you the other night.”

  I look at my watch. It’s waterproof and looks like something a five year old would wear and I know by the way he’s grinning as I look up that he’s just noticed the same thing.

  “Nice watch.”

  “Thanks.” I grit my teeth. I can keep fighting him, but lunch will be over by the time we’re done. “Fine. Your treat.”

  I hate spending money. If he’s going to drag me away from my practical sack lunch he’s going to darn well pay for my meal.

  Five minutes later we’re seated with burgers. I don’t touch mine. Too greasy.

  “That wasn’t very nice, what you did with the slide spinals,” he says, pointing his drink at me straw first.

  I shrug. “Yeah, well you had already declared war on me. I just wanted to show them I know stuff you don’t. I need the guards to respect me.”

  “We need the guards to respect us. We may not like it, but we’re going to need to work together.”

  “I’m fine with working together. I’m not the one with a problem sharing authority,” I mumble.

  “Fine. We’ll work together.” He grins and shoves an inhuman amount of fries in his mouth, and seems to swallow them whole. Swimmers.

  “And here’s the other thing,” he says. “You may be the expert on slides, but I know stuff you don’t. This is an inner city park, the clientele aren’t rich people who can pay twenty bucks a ticket. We get some rough people in here. You should let me handle them.”

  “I don’t know what you mean. I’m not going to let you do my job, if that’s what you’re suggesting.”

  “No, not exactly. Just that maybe we should do different parts of the job.” He hesitates and nibbles a fry, a welcome change of pace. “It’s not really the safest place for a female sup. See, the sups here deal with the stuff the guards can’t handle, like when fights break out, or there’s trouble. There’s more to guarding here than just the save skills. And no offense, but I can’t see you breaking up a fight between two men.”

  “Really? Well I don’t think I should be treated any differently just because I’m a girl. And there is more than muscles to stopping a fight.”

  “Alright. No need to get defensive. I’m just saying sometimes I might have advice for you.” He leans back and stretches, probably to accommodate the weirdly large amount of food he just inhaled.

  “I’m not defensive, I’m just not going to let you push me around,” I say.

  He eyes my plate. “Aren’t you going to eat?”

  “Not hungry.”

  “May I?”

  “If you can.” I push it towards him.

  He laughs and eats a fry. “Are you kidding? Swimmer.”

  “Of course.”

  “Well, former.”

  “Oh.” Well, most lifeguards are. “What should we work on when we get back? I had some stuff planned out, but since we should be working together, I’m open to feedback.”

  “First, promise you’ll at least listen to what I say, even if it doesn’t make sense to you. I promise to take your advice on the water park stuff, b
ut you need to trust me on the this park stuff. Including the guards.”

  “Fine,” I say, but I don’t really mean it. I just want him to stop harping on it. “Wait, what do you mean the guards?”

  “Well, you know.” He pauses, brushing a fry with his lips, his eyes searching mine.

  “No, I don’t.”

  “Well. Damn. I don’t know how to put this.” He throws the fry down and sits back with his hands behind his head, more thoughtful than relaxed. “I guess…look. I know you think you have this hard-ass attitude down. I get that. I respect it. But here’s the thing. A lot of those guards are still going to see you as a girl.”

  “As a girl?”

  “Yeah. As in, your body.”

  “What?”

  “You’re hot.”

  I frown. It shouldn’t matter what I look like. It’s just not what I think of when I think of important things about myself. I’m smart. I’m independent. I do the right thing when I can. Those are the important things about me. I wish that mattered more than my boobs.

  “So. What do you suggest?” I ask. “Plastic surgery?”

  “Strong boundaries. And let me deal with them if they get out of line.”

  “And how can I expect them to respect me as their boss if I have to come to you to control them? They’re my employees. I’ll get respect my own way.” I stand and head outside, hoping he’ll follow.

  He takes my arm but when I glare at him, he lets me go and opens the door for me. The sunlight is glaring and I shield my eyes and follow him to his car.

  When we’re almost back to the facility, he starts harping on it again. “Seriously Camille.” His face goes blank. “Sorry. Habit.” His eyes turn serious. “Seriously, Rain. Call me if you need me. Please.”

  “Camille?” Is that his girlfriend? Sister?

  His face turns hard and he hits the brakes a little harder than I expected. “Mistake. Your name’s weird. So I couldn’t remember it. So what. Anyway, we’ll be late. You go ahead in without me. I need to get something out of the car.”